Don't Know Why I Didn't Think of This Before....

But, just to prove I'm not just screwing around, and I'm actually trying to get this stuff together...

PROOF!



Bench Warmer
==========

Naruto couldn’t say why it had taken him this long, but he was starting to get the idea that his teammates might have been fucked up.

Like, in the head.

… Well, okay, nah, he’d known that about Sasuke already. You couldn’t spend as much time as he did on making his hair stand up like the back end of a duck without having some screws loose. And eating tomatoes like they were apples could only be a sign of a diseased mind.

And there was that whole thing with his brother, but Naruto didn’t even know where to start.

He’d never had a family to lose. So what would he know about it?

Yeah. Yeah.

Exactly.




Two Backs

==========

Shadow Clones were a gift from the Sage himself if you were in the right frame of mind.

After the last couple of years and all the bullshit she’d been forced to deal with as a ninja, Naruko didn’t know how she’d survived without them. Just having them do her chores for her had changed her life forever.

For real.

Did the laundry need washing? Get a shadow clone to do it. Dirty apartment all around? Shadow clone. Cooking something for herself and her friends that wasn’t ramen because the clone would eat it as soon as she looked the other way? Shadow clones for the win.

Speed Bump

==========

Blake Belladonna was a perfectly healthy, perfectly average, perfectly sane, and otherwise perfectly normal girl of her age and species.

This meant that she had hobbies. She had interests. Blake had wants, needs, aspirations, and dreams like any average cat Faunus would have… And, of course, she had some quirks. She could be a little eccentric. Sometimes, Blake allowed the intrusive thoughts to win.

And, sometimes, it worked out.

Decoupling the train car she was on, for one. How she’d abandoned the Fang and broke up with her ex.

She hadn’t planned that one out at all. That had been all instinct. And it had worked out.

Mostly.

Porcing 31 (Framework and Ideas Stage)

==========

‘SNRK!” A loud bassy snore drew her attention away from her thoughts and back to her reasons for coming here. Moss, the Jolly Green Giant himself. Also his Jolly Green Cock! And don’t forget his Jolly White Smile. Which she was a little jealous of, even with Amy helping her out at times she still needed teeth whitening to get that photogenic smile. And the less said about the teeth straightening incident the better.

VIcky gently closed the door behind her, taking care not to damage the new house. Well the house had been built when she was still literally in diapers but the point remained. With a complete lack of grace, she managed to get her boots off, cursing the fact she had super strength. A delicate balancing act between trying to get them off without ripping them to pieces and not putting her head through a wall. Again.

Finally after contorting herself into a position physically impossible without the ability to fly, Vicky managed to get her boots off with nothing damaged but her pride. She really should just wear slip-ons, there were plenty of cute examples of them. It’s not like she really needed the protection from the snow or the cold. Hell she could get away with wearing flip flops if she didn’t mind all the celeberity foot fethists being insufferable when those photos hit the internet.

Treatise in Yellow 2 (Framework and Ideas)

==========

To say that Sundae Xiao-Long’s upbringing was unusual, would have been an understatement. Born to a mute woman named Neopolitan, no last name, her mother would’ve already been a noteworthy mainstay in her life on her looks and mutism alone, if not for the added fact that she was a mute lunatic killer-for-hire who revelled in her sado-masochism, Sundae’s father’s words not hers.

Her own words on the subject could’ve filled an entire treatise, but she could at least confirm that the woman loved her as a daughter and in spite of the overt criminality, she’d taught her various practical life-skills and lessons. Juxtaposing the casual pickpocketing, minor and greater larceny with the basics in cookery and more womanly skills that now featured in her repertoire, she could say the mute woman had made an effort with her, which was more than could be said with her treatment with any other person beyond Sundae’s father. Although Sundae still couldn’t understand her mother’s odd predilection for frozen treats.





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