XaiJu
GiddyKitty
GiddyKitty

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I miss being me again

I'd like to share with you what's going on with me on a personal level

Remember how when covid struck and the world kinda stood still? It feels like that right now
Everything is just frozen in time..
My ambitions..my hopes and dreams..I can't afford to be thinking about them
I feel bad for thinking about them when right now it's about survival
But at the same time I miss making videos..I miss laughing and crying about music..
Is that too much to ask for? To get back to my old life? As tiring as it was, I had a purpose, even if it was as simple as making someone smile
Now..I have no idea what's next for me..oblivion is so scary πŸ’”
I hate change and everything is changing so fast..everything is beyond my control
I feel like I'm being forcefully carried by chaotic waves and it's really hard to stay afloat..
And the worst part of it all, there's no finish line. There's no time interval for this madness..so I really don't know till when ill be able to endure all of this
Unfortunately, I'm not as strong as I used to be

Comments

Dear Rana, I feel really bad for you, when I see and read about your struggles to stay afloat within all this madness... 😒 I can only try to imagine what you are going through right now, and how you miss your normal life. And of course we all wish our Rana back, who is laughing and crying about music, your nice livestreams, playing funny games with you, your cheery talking, your lovely smile...😍 Be assured, you havn't only made someone smile at a time... you have made many people smile many times:-) Even if I repeat myself, but it can't be said often enough: If there were more people like you, the world would be a better place! I agree with Coppercaiju, we all love you! ❀️ We love your charming personality, your big heart, your caress for the animals, your cute smile.... just you being Rana:-) 😊πŸ₯° I hope very much, that I can encourage you at least a little with my words and that the financial support from your patrons also helps a bit... I wish I could help you more to overcome this terrible situation! If I had magic power, I would at once stop every bomb and missile, build up all the destroyed houses and places in a second, and bring you back to your home and normal life again instantly... unfortunately this will take longer, and you don't see the finish line of all this mess yet... but please stay strong and don't loose your faith! Maybe I sound like a broken record, but even the longest and darkest tunnel has an exit! And I'm sure that the sun will shine for you again:-) 🌞 Please never give up, my prayers, my best wishes and my lovely thoughts are always with you! ❀️ πŸ™

Arno Benter

Please don't feel guilty. When I woke up today I was thinking about how I wish things could get back to normal for you. About how I know you were probably missing posting normal content and life being normal. I miss that for you too. If you really do feel the urge to make content, please don't feel guilty about posting unedited and simple videos or community posts sharing your thoughts and feelings about a particular song/video. Or blogs or whatever. I know something simple like that might not be your preference but maybe it will bring you a small sense of routine and "normalcy". I'm sure your fans will be more than happy that you're alive and posting anything at all. I'm a very sheltered person and I can't really imagine what I would do in your shoes. The best advice I can think of is to just focus on adapting to those changing waves as best you can and surviving, both physically and mentally. Maybe one day we'll all look back at this chapter of your life and learn something valuable from your content. You definitely have purpose even if it's not the one you and us wanted or expected. You are still you.✨ We love you Rana!πŸ’I have so many things I thought about sharing over the last few weeks but I was afraid I might say something that would make you feel worse. If there's anything we can do to cheer you up please let us know.

Copperkaiju


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