229 - The Troubled Path

Naem and Lexie stared at each other silently, while Lexie analyzed the emotions trickling through her.

The Eldritch part of her didn’t feel much for him. She was no longer attached to him, and vengeance toward him was no longer her main goal, so now she was stuck with mostly indifference, a flatness of affect, mixed in with a curiosity and a desire to overpower him.

The human side of her, though, extremely active after the soul exercises, was even more mixed and complicated. There was a lingering hurt, anger, fondness, gratitude, resentment, and, underscoring all that, a bone-deep understanding.

She felt like she could see him clearly now, for the first time since she met him. She understood the drive, the pain underlining his Eldritch perfection.

She didn’t know how he’d managed to keep this rigid composure for so long, when he was likely as chaotic and vengeful as she and Neqal, but it couldn’t be pleasant.

“What are you doing here?” Lexie asked him.

“Can I not come to check in on my soul spawn?” he asked. “And congratulate you on successfully escaping the dungeon.”

“I’m not your soul-spawn anymore,” she told him.

“Of course,” he said. “I also came to warn you.”

“Warn me?”

“Yes. My brother, Neqal, is not very happy with you and your actions in the dungeon. You have taken two valuable items from him. He is not happy at all with that. I have managed to redirect his vengeance for the meantime, but Neqal will not stay away for long, and the terms of our wager have expired."

"Oh. So you think he’ll harm me?’

"He does not have direct access to the human domain. He does, however, have minions on Earth who will try to harm you on his behalf. I will attempt to warn you when I can, but he is very sneaky, so be careful.”

“I will.” Lexie stared at Naem after he was done, wondering if she was the only one who felt the awkwardness in the atmosphere.

Did he feel it too, the distance that had grown between them like a chasm?

Or was Lexie reading too much into it?

Naem appeared as though he had more he wanted to say, but he wasn't saying anything. Maybe he was waiting for her to bring it up because he also wasn’t disappearing in a wash of inky black nothingness, nor was he blinking or fidgeting or doing anything except staring at her.

“Do you regret it?” The words popped out of Lexie’s mouth, and she almost wished she could snatch them back. It felt like it revealed too much, but since she couldn’t take it back, she might as well forge forward and search for an answer. “Do you regret leaving me in that dungeon?”

Naem thought about it and shook his head. The answer set off a frenzy of anger inside her.

“You should,” she said. “Even if it was for the better, you should regret it.”

Lexie didn’t know exactly what she was trying to say, but she felt compelled to say it anyway, if only to ease the tightness in her chest.

She waited for what he would say next with bated breath.

Naem inclined his head. “I suppose I regret aspects of it.”

“You do?”

“The severing of our bond. That wasn’t…pleasant.”

“What about leaving me to get attacked by those trolls? Knowing that I would never forgive that betrayal?”

“That wasn’t pleasant as well.” He stared at her eyes, and Lexie figured that was the closest thing she would get to an apology from him.

It wasn’t enough.

He’d irrevocably changed their relationship, destroyed the part of her who could trust him implicitly. Heck, she could probably never trust anyone implicitly ever again.

He'd changed her, and he'd done it without her permission, without giving her the choice.

Yes, it had worked out.

But she would never see him the same again.

Maybe that was for the better.

He wasn’t her father. He wasn't human. He was Eldritch. 

“Do you enjoy being back on Earth?” he asked her next, and Lexie shrugged. 

“Yes. I think so.” 

“Will you be leaving soon?”

“If I don’t, does that jeopardize your plans?” Lexie still wasn't sure what it was he wanted from her. “Do you want me to go to the Eldritch realm and become a Lord?”

“Yes. You will need to eventually pass the test to cement your Lordship.”

“Or what?”

“Or you place yourself and your disciples in danger. You will not be a true Lord, and they will be in danger by being attached to you.”

She frowned. “Pvilycht never told me that.”

“Perhaps he did not want you to feel pressured.”

“Pvilcht? He would not care about my feeling pressured.” Pvilycht only cared about things he could experiment on or things that gave him an edge. Caring about feelings wasn't an Eldritch urge to have.

Or maybe he thought, if he told her, she would simply sever their bond and give him back to Neqal. Maybe he felt risking it with Lexie was better than the alternative.

“Surely you have noticed that some of your more human attributes have rubbed off on him," Naem interrupted her musings.

Lexie had suspected, but now that Naem confirmed it, her eyes widened. “So that means he’s becoming more human?”

"No. He’s becoming more of whatever you are now. A new species of Eldritch. He does not have your human side, so he will never be human, but he will begin to perceive things differently than other Eldritch.”

"I see. And this will happen for any other disciple I take on?”

"Yes. You might start getting approached by Eldritch soon, either those trying to kill you or those trying to become your disciple. They might make you good offers. Try not to spread yourself too thin.”

“Do you want to be my disciple?” Lexie asked Naem.

“I cannot,” he said. “I am too powerful and I am a Lord."

Hmm. But in the vision Lexie had seen, she had seen all the Lords bowing to her. She had assumed that meant that she was supposed to be strong enough to subdue them.

As though reading her mind, Naem said, “What you saw, in your vision, was likely only a possibility. It will be harder, seeing as how you’re not entirely Eldritch, as purity is a factor here and not every Eldritch will readily accept an impure Eldritch Lord, even one as strong as you. My brother Neqal knows that firsthand."

"So what am I meant to do now?" Lexie asked him. "What do you think I should do?"

"I cannot tell you that."

"You told me you would tell me."

"No, I did not."

Lexie recalled his exact words and realized he was right. It was irritating how good he was at twisting things around and giving her impressions without saying it outright.

"You will write your own destiny from now onwards, Lexie. It will be difficult, more so than you can imagine at this stage.”

“What do you mean?”

“The Mountain was right in some ways. It would have been far easier for you to choose to return as a full-Eldritch or as a possessed human. Being both, while advantageous in some ways, is going to come with unique challenges that no Eldritch or human has ever faced. You must be prepared for that and not assume that I can direct your way forward."

“But I made the best choice. Right?”

“Only you can answer that.”

"No, that’s not fair," Lexie frowned. "You told me to make this choice.”

“I made you aware that it was a choice, one that you should consider. I didn't tell you to make it."

Ugh, swindled again. She was getting tired of him.

Lexie pressed her lips together. Was the difficulty he was talking about part of what she was facing now with her mana?

“I have an issue with my mana on Earth. It’s not...Whenever I don't suppress my mana, it feels like it's burning me from the inside out. But today, I went into an atmosphere that was supposedly mana-poisoned, and it felt fine.”

“The way humans and Eldritch interact with the magical realm is entirely different,” Naem explained. “With Eldritch, our mana is mostly embedded within us, in our souls. It's baked into our very existence, so we are our magic. We do interact with the magical environment, but it's in a completely different way than humans. Humans, on the other hand, are naturally magic-resistant. They, by and large, do not have mana in their souls except those with leftover talents from the guardians, who have slightly different pathways than the average human. Other human mages draw mostly from magic in the atmosphere, with only a fraction of internal mana in their pathways, aiding the process and preventing their body from being destroyed. The more internal protective magic they have, the more they can draw in to utilize. Without that, their body would either attack the magic flowing into their body or the magic would destroy it."

"Like the way an immune system would fight a virus."

"Precisely. This is completely antithetical to how Eldritch and Fae magic work. Now you are partially human and partially Eldritch. While in the dungeon, you were mostly Eldritch and used magic the Eldritch way. You also weren't surrounded by the human's external mana and all its limitations that would prevent it from being as damaging as it would otherwise be to the average human mage. The Fae, using the system, controls the amount and quality of external magic in the world and how it is used, massively downgrading it so that it does not harm the humans. They worked this out with the First Mage, who initially tried to figure out a human way of using magic with human intent, but failed."

"That's a lot of information, but I fail to see how it's relevant to what I'm struggling with."

Naem was amused. "You are human and Eldritch. You can technically use magic both the human way and the Eldritch way, but now that you are in the human world, with a human-ish body drawing massive amounts of Eldritch mana from your soul, using mana the Eldtritch way. Your human mana resistance is fighting back and combine that with the naturally restrictive components of the atmosphere and it's going to feel like it's eating at you."

"It doesn't help that my mana is anchored to the dungeon?"

"No. That might help you bypass the Oath that keeps Eldritch out, but it has nothing to do with your physiology, which is both Eldritch and human. That is what is confusing the magic. Your magic is working in the Eldritch way, which is impacting your human physiology. It will cause damage to your body, and you will become increasingly vulnerable the more human you get.”

Lexie’s head swam with the information. “So, apart from the atmosphere being inhospitable because I’m Eldritch, the mana environment also does not do great for me, and my human body is not great at accommodating my Eldritch.”

“Yes. Using mana the Eldritch way will damage and probably slowly kill you. That is partially what I meant when I said it will make it harder in some ways."

"How do I stop it?”

“Well, you have two options. Try your best not to draw from internal mana sources while on Earth, and instead use magic the human way, or leave Earth."

“What about the mana-poisoned land?”

“That is another option."

But as nice as it was, Lexie couldn't stay there forever, and she didn't want to go back to relying on the human magic. She would rather leave Earth.

But at the same time, she didn't want to leave her friends behind, not so soon anyway.

There had to be a solution.

"Get creative," Naem said. "Use your madness as your superpower. I believe the mana poisoning you felt must have been very specifically done to promote Eldritch magic utilization and to discourage human access."

“How?”

He shrugged. "That’s for you to find out.”

"Do you not know, or do you know and simply don’t want to tell me?”

“The result is the same.”

Lexie frowned. “Sometimes I don’t even know why I talk to you.”

Naem made a little sound of amusement. “I can genuinely say the feeling is mutual.”

“What do you want for me, Naem?"

He said nothing and simply disappeared. 

***

Lexie woke up to the sound of voices below her.

Also, a very short man was standing at the foot of her bed.

She didn’t scream, though she was surprised to see him. She simply stared at him with such a startling clarity that he had to clear his throat and look uncomfortable. 

“My apologies for disturbing your rest, Ms. Lexie,” he said. “You were sleeping so deeply, I did not know whether or not to wake you for breakfast.”

“What time is it?” Lexie asked. 

“Nearly noon,” he said. “But do not worry. Everyone slept in today. I am told that you are having trouble with your memories, so allow me to reintroduce myself. I am–”

“Pollock." The name slid into Lexie’s memory. “I remember.”

He beamed. “Yes. I, and everyone else, are glad to have you back. Now, would you like to have your breakfast up here or downstairs?”

“Um…” Lexie actually wasn’t hungry, but she did want to know what was going on in the kitchen. “Downstairs is fine.”

"Of course." With a formal nod, he retreated.

Lexie rolled out of bed, showered, and put on the same clothes. She went down towards the kitchen, following the trail of laughter.  

It was Stella’s, deep and throaty, and she was sitting at the table, her feet kicked up with a cup of coffee in her hand.

One night at home seemed to have done wonders for her. She still had eyebags, but her hair was now washed, her skin full of healthy color, and she didn’t have dust stains all over her body.

She was wearing silk pajamas and fluffy slippers rather than her superhero suit, and she was lounging in such a way that indicated she wasn't going to move any time soon.  

Mane looked more relaxed, too. He was wearing his chef’s uniform and standing by the stove, stir-frying something while Aiden helped him at the chopping board.

At the other side of the table, sitting alone was...

“Vacek.” 

Lexie’s voice broke the stream of conversation they’d been having, and they looked over to her.

Aiden walked over first to kiss her on the head and hand her some tea. “How did you sleep, honeybee?”

“Okay,” she said. “Better than usual.”

“That’s good. It means the tea helps.”

She nodded.

“Lexie has been having trouble sleeping," Aiden explained to the curious onlookers. 

“Oh, poor dear,” Stella said. “The same thing happened to me after I went undercover for a month. When I got back, well, it was hard for my brain to realize that I was back.”

Lexie accepted it with a smile. Although her sleeplessness wasn't trauma-related, she had enough human sensibility to know that it was better to pretend it was. 

“I heard what you did yesterday,” Vacek said as Aiden helped Lexie into her seat and got her a plate of food that was piled way too high for her liking. 

“Am I in trouble?” Lexie asked.

“Almost. I had to do a lot of fast talking yesterday to soothe the Sultan’s ruffled features.”

“Why were they ruffled? I helped him. Also saved a few lives.”

“You called the war that his men had been dying for, meaningless.”

“It is.”

“You’re twelve…” He glanced at Aiden and amended, “Or thirteen years old. All war probably seems meaningless to you.”

Lexie poked at a piece of toast and brought it up to her mouth, enjoying the sound of the crunch more than the taste of the bread. 

“One side wants land, the other side also wants the land. The other side isn’t actually using the land. It’s been abandoned for decades now, but they fight to keep the land anyway, even though it serves them no purpose. How is that not senseless?”

"That's not all they want, Lexie," Stella pointed out.

"What else is there?"

Vacek smirked. “Do you want an entire geopolitical lesson over breakfast?”

“No thanks. Is Torin going back to school today?” Lexie wanted to see Xena and Dewie again, and she was wondering if she could tag along.

“No," Stella said. “He’s actually on a week-long break, because he has to do some interviews to boost his public profile.”

"I didn’t know his public profile needed even more boosting.” As Lexie recalled, Torin was already really popular before she left, and she didn’t know there was anything that could make him even more so. 

“Apparently, despite his charisma, people have trouble connecting with him, and now being likable is an essential part of being a hero." Stella shot Vacek a sarcastic look as she made the statement, but Vacek ignored her. "Speaking of interviews, Lexie, I have arranged with a few TV stations and given them a list of all the questions you will not answer. I know I said only one interview, but I feel like the interest is so high that–"

“I don’t think we should do any interviews yet,” Aiden interjected. "I don’t think she's in the right mindspace."

By that, he likely meant that she might accidentally blurt out some things she’s not supposed to blurt out.

"I suppose we can put that off for now," he said. "Do you want to go back to hero school, Lexie? Or would you prefer an accelerated program just for you?"

"I don't know," Lexie admitted, feeling a little unsettled. "I'm not sure."

Vacek kept watching her. "We could really use a hero like you, Lexie. Particularly to help with the problem of unstable dungeons and catching the Vulcan."

Lexie perked up at that. "Yes. I can do that.”

“I don't think you're ready for all that yet."

"Yes, I am, Dad. Why not? Vulcan wants me dead. I want him dead, too."

That was the wrong thing to say. It made the adults uncomfortable.

"I mean that I want him suitably neutralized.”

"That’s better," Vacek smiled. “Anywyay, if we can just have her do a few dungeon readings, we might be able to locate him that way and figure out the next steps of their plans. Especially with Dewie helping."

Lexie nodded. "I’m all for that."

"Good. I'll get it arranged."

"I'll be there with her," Aiden said.

"Of course," Vacek said, but Lexie felt her father instantly sneak a psychic tag into her mind.

She didn't mind, so she left it there.

After breakfast, Lexie went upstairs to say hi to Torin. She overheard him talking to himself in his room, and when she peeped through his door hole, she saw he was at his desk, with flash cards in his hand.

It looked like he was asking himself questions and answering them, but his expression looked too stressed out for such a mundane activity.

Why was he so tense?

He doesn't like talking to people, Lexie remembered. It must be hard having to now talk to a bunch of them in front of even more people.

Lexie wished she could help him, but she currently wasn't great at talking to people either.

In the end, Lexie left without saying anything.

Theo had gone for patrols, and so, with the promise to return for dinner tomorrow night, Lexie and her father finally went to see Cecilia. She wasn't awake yet, but she would be within twenty-four hours.

So, they want to go back home.

They appeared and caught Tate on his way out.

"Where are you going?" Lexie asked. "To the dojo?"

"No. To the library next to it."

"Oh. I'll come with you. So I can say hi to everyone."

Tate shrugged, and Lexie turned to her dad. "You don't have to come with us. I'll be fine."

"But–"

"Seriously. You can't follow me everywhere."

Lexie got the sense that was exactly what Aiden wanted to do.

He pressed his lips together. With a look at Tate, he nodded, but she also felt him adjust the psychic tag.

As Lexie and Tate started on their journey, she started to feel the silence in the air.

"I can teleport us," Lexie offered.

Tate shook his head. "No. I like to walk."

"Oh."

She didn't say anything for some time.  

"This is uncomfortable, isn’t it?” she asked.

“Yes."

There was another stretch of silence as they turned into the main road. Yet again, Leie couldn't read Tate. She didn't know if he wanted her gone or if he simply felt awkward.

"You know, I saw you in the dungeon?"

"You did?

"Yeah. But it wasn't really you. It was you from another dimension."

He stared at her.

"And I think you occasionally see demons in that dimension. You thought I was one, too. Isn't that funny?"

Tate didn't find it funny. He didn't even smile. He just paled.

"What happened to me?" he asked.

"I'm not sure. Your consciousness was trapped in that dungeon level, but I think once we solved it, you went home."

"I see."

"What are you doing at the library anyway?"

"Going to read some books."

"You read?"

He gave her a sardonic look, and she said, "Sorry. I guess I just forgot how much of a nerd you used to be."

He gave a surprised bark of laughter, clearly not expecting that.

"Sorry for that, too. My sensitivity filter is broken."

"No, it's fine," he said, still smiling. "It's...good actually. I don't mind."

Lexie thought about it. "Maybe I should read some books too. Being in the dungeon made me stupider."

"What was it like being there for so long? If you want to talk about it, that is."

"Sometimes fun. Sometimes dark. Sometimes depressing. Sometimes amusing. But I suppose it was nice in that it gave me a purpose." She shrugged. "Now I don't have much of that anymore. I don't know what the path forward is. I don't know what I’m going to do next. The Fae probably want me dead, and so do the Eldritch, I guess. But they need me too. And now I think I annoyed a Sultan, who probably also wants me dead or wants to use me. Vulcan wants me dead, and I want to kill him. Vacek wants me to be a hero. My dad wants me to do nothing. I want to make cards on Earth. I want to be powerful somewhere else. I want to see little Fae. I want to go back into the dungeon and check on the lizard-people and Pvilycht. I want to see my friends again."

Lexie froze. She'd said too much, and Tate was too clever not to pick it up.

"Why would the Eldritch want you dead?" he asked.

She bit her lip, not knowing how to answer.

"Never mind," he said. "I assume that's the secret thing I'm not supposed to know about."

"No, it's not..." Lexie paused, feeling something shift beneath her.

A dungeon had just opened.