Going Off the Rails Chapter 2TEMP
Added 2026-02-08 03:32:46 +0000 UTCI am not Disney nor British. I have
This
Comments
Daphne, please! She is stronger both in magical knowledge and politics. I want to see waves she will make on the back of Harry's power. Hermione could be interesting as well, given her sciencey background. Luna is a given, though I don't know how much of a harem You want to build, given that Barriss is in the picture as well ...
Hubert
2026-02-16 23:37:02 +0000 UTCGood to see more of this story. My vote is Luna and Barriss. Hopefully the fight will have Barriss motivated to step up, she seemed like a wallflower for her brief appearance.
Zachary Denison
2026-02-13 03:43:08 +0000 UTCi'm sorry brother/sister it's a banger, write more of this instead of whatever the kuroino stuff was about, this is way more interesting.
hnbi
2026-02-10 03:57:12 +0000 UTCSo you're telling me Hermione has a chance of being in the pairing? Neat, obviously my vote is gonna be for her. But other than that, Luna will get my vote. I don't like the way the fandom builds the typical Daphne, I'm just tired of the "Ice Queen" trope. Angie could be a good choice, though she's a bit older than Harry, not that it matters, but still.
Aseem Athale
2026-02-09 18:13:37 +0000 UTCYes, and true. But I didn't want to take more than a week on both of the Super Bowl presents. MAYYYBe if i have Saturday free I will go back over it with Grammarly and my own eyes.
vimesenthusiast
2026-02-09 17:34:32 +0000 UTCThat one, that one hurt me. BUt I will not be going over this until I can come back and put in the other half of this chapter.
vimesenthusiast
2026-02-09 17:33:13 +0000 UTC1) She already has a major disadvantage. Being wandless on top of that... 4) Absolutely, great point.
lostone2
2026-02-09 12:44:08 +0000 UTCIn the first chapter Hagrid was accompanying Harry when Macnair drunkenly caught sight of Harry. I don't know what story you read that had you thinking that McG was with Harry but it isn't this one.
Aaron Orr
2026-02-09 06:34:25 +0000 UTCWe know a few other things about the Greengrass family if not necessarily Daphne herself. The Greengrasses did espouse pure blood supremacy, and Astoria is notable for going against her family by rejecting this. That kind of implies that Daphne still maintained this belief. She could have joined her sister, but this isn’t confirmed. At the very least, their parents were pure blood supremacists. The Greengrass women suffer from a blood malediction. It’s possible that it skipped Daphne, or it could be that it just wasn’t noted since she wasn’t an important character. Gareth Greengrass might be an uncle or cousin. He became an unspeakable and dedicated his life to finding a cure for this curse to save his own daughter. He even joined the secret terrorist organization the Unforgivable. Garett’s brother was also a Death Eater, so that branch of the family was fully involved. So, we know that Daphne’s family are pure blood supremacists. They have a seemingly incurable blood malediction. And her family has connections with both the Ministry and organized crime, albeit that she probably doesn’t know about the Unforgivable (secret organization after all). You’re right that she probably was among the wizarding nobility, both because they are a member of the sacred 28 and because of who Astoria married. I could see a reformed Draco marrying a blood traitor, but a poor commoner, no way in hell. From the above, we can guess that Daphne likely has a haughty personality, and has likely had to wear a mask all her life to cover any signs of weakness. She almost certainly wasn’t allowed to express some of her emotions and desires. Another interesting bit is the blood malediction. Daphne has likely been raised knowing that it was her duty to further her family line. If she starts to break free from whatever brainwashing her family put her through, then she could begin to question this. If so, she may have genuine fears about having children of her own. A combination of worry and guilt about passing down the curse. Maybe they could find a cure for it, but this would likely be an issue if she started a relationship.
Beleriond
2026-02-09 03:50:20 +0000 UTCHe put a note in about Tonks and Harry being cousins, so I doubt she will be an option. In some ways, Obi-wan reminds me of Remus, so maybe he could be a pairing for Tonks. Unlike Satine, she would force him out of his Jedi shell, just as she did Remus from his self-imposed exile as a werewolf.
Beleriond
2026-02-09 03:34:47 +0000 UTCalright, so thoughts on the pairings: Hermione CAN be a good match for harry as far as personalities go, but only once both of htem grow up some more. hermione honestly NEEDS the cannon events that slowly shatter her reverence for 'authority' and anyone who is older and/or perceived as more knowledgeable than her, and until she gets over that, her reverence for authority figures and harry's deep distrust of authority figure really aren't compatible. they can be friends, but not grow beyond that until they can bridge that gap. Luna is just an absolute delight. at the end of the day, canonically the thing harry wants the most in the world is to be 'normal', it's the expression of the trauma the dursleys inflicted on him. Luna can do one or both of the following: see harry as just harry, not 'the chosen one', which is something that harry deeply desires, and help harry come to understand that not being normal isn't bad, that being comfortable with yourself is more fulfilling. Luna can serve very well as a romantic partner, but she can also serve very well as just a friend. If you intend to go a harem route, Luna is by far the most compatible personality who would not only accept but try to help encourage and smooth out the trouble for any such relationship. Daphne: canonically she's a mannequin. she has basically no personality from the cannon sources. about the sum total of what we know about her is that she's very pretty, she didn't really talk to anyone, she was in slytherin but either didn't participate in their antics or was only a minor participant, and didn't joint he death eaters. also she's a high-society lady. It's easy to assume that she's had some level of training on deportment and manners and that sort of high-society sophistication, and therefore in many stories she can be believably adapted to be someone who knows or can assist harry if he end up participating in high society culture or politics, but she doesn't have to be developed that way. she's basically a mostly blank slate that you can configure in a bunch of different ways. Angelina is basically ginny+. she's functionally everything that ginny represented to harry except for the weasley family connection (which isn't nearly as relevant in this story due to not spending summers with them) and not having red hair (because the whole 'you fall in love with someone who looks like your mother' was apparently a thing Rowling liked). outside of that, she fulfils the athletic outgoing sports girl theme to a T. however, sport girls are not in short supply in the star wars universe, so she doesn't fill a unique roll that others couldn't also fill Overall, i'd say that Luna would for sure make both the most interesting, and best/most compatible romantic companion, Hermione and daphne could both be developed into interesting romantic partners, and Angelina mostly doesn't have a purpose but there isn't anything wrong with her, she's just not as interesting or special. thats my opinions of them.
Delphinous
2026-02-09 00:53:33 +0000 UTCGreat beginning! A few notes: 1) Should Luna know the bubblehead charm or know of it? She’s 10, so she shouldn’t have her wand yet. 2) I’m a bit surprised that no one commented on Daphne sounding like Tonks for a moment, not even Tonks in her head. “Don’t call me Daph!” 3) I think that Sidious’ awakening was well done. You could probably add a bit more lightning. Sidious disdained lightsabers. He could use them but preferred using the force directly in combat, with lightning as his weapon of choice. Plo Koon is also a master of force lightning, albeit a light side version that has a greenish colour to it. It would be great if there had been security cameras in such a public place so that the Jedi could just show the footage to the senate. Otherwise, things will get very awkward. Normally, presenting the bodies of the dead children would be enough to silence any objection the senate has to the death of a senator, but since those children were Jedi, they don’t have any connections outside the order. Oh, and it might be better if, rather than the Jedi striking her down, Sidious kills Sly Moore for exposing them as darksiders. Typically, sociopaths lash out at those around them and project their own failings onto others. Sidious might think to himself that he would have at least escaped the temple if not for her. 4) I think they kind of skipped one major issue on their list of priorities, finding the cause of the shift. We know what caused it, but it’s odd that the characters haven’t shown any curiosity about it. That should really be on Dooku’s list, likely as something else for the Shadows to work on, or possibly something other Jedi can meditate on and divine through the force.
Beleriond
2026-02-08 22:15:56 +0000 UTCGirl wise, I like Daphne a lot. Her moment with Harry was very nice. As for others, anyone but Hermione works for me. The fandom has made me loathe Harmony. I especially like Angelina and Tonks for ara ara moments. :-)
MultiverseCosms
2026-02-08 10:35:14 +0000 UTCHoly shit. It seems that no matter which story he's in or what the circumstances are, Palpy just refuses to go down without bringing a few dozen others with him (at minimum!). That was an intense fight and I loved every second of it!!! Although, I kinda wish you had had the time to clean it up a bit more than you did. There were quite a few more typos and forgotten notes (for yourself, I assume) that were left behind than is usually the case for one of your chapters. Eh, oh well. It was still awesome, regardless!
Tellemicus Sundance
2026-02-08 09:48:26 +0000 UTCJust a couple of notes regarding typos: The disclaimer line line is incomplete. It just end in "I have" In the third paragraph, you have an ENACED instead of ENHANCED. I'm pretty sure that you're not that worried for these errors at this stage, but just FYI.
lostone2
2026-02-08 07:59:58 +0000 UTCHaven't read the whole teaser yet, do I'll update this once I finish, but I already have concerns. Why is Bariss being considered? Is this a 'I can fix her' thing? I'm sorry but Bariss for me would be a No. Aged up Ahsoka or aged-down Aayla I could tolerate. But Bariss? I'd still read it, but with the Aperture Science Salt mine on standby. As HP girls, Luna, Hermione, Daphne and Tonks... Yes. Angelina, if done right, OK. Ok, that's my opinions made before reading, I'll either edit or add to this once I finish the Teaser. 1st Edit: Hagrid? Hagrid hasn't met Harry in this one, it was Minerva who informed him about Voldemort. And that's an issue that will need to be addressed in the first chapter, when did Harry meet Hagrid if McGonagall got took him to the Alley? Final Edit: OK, after finishing the Teaser, I'm liking this. Now the Idea of Bariss as a possible romance is making sense. Still gonna be wary with her, but I can see the foundation being built. So, I'm looking forward to seeing more of this, exploring Magic for the Jedi, exploring the Force for the HP students. The Clone Wars my not even occur, will the Trade Federation still Blockade Naboo? Will Harry meet Padme? (a possible pairing, could Padme be a Squib?) What is the end goal though? Make it back to Earth? Destroy the Sith? Bring Balance to the Force? With the Sidiot dead and Maul on the loose, who will the main antagonist be? What's the driving goal for the Students? The Jedi? The Republic? The Sith? Got a lot of loose ends here and no clear finish in sight. A lot of new world-building from these few changes. Other than a few minor edits needed (Hagrid/Golem, how if never met Hagrid?) it's looking like a good beginning to another great story.
Razgriz0x
2026-02-08 04:06:20 +0000 UTC
