A ☃️🎄Merry Christmas!🎄☃️ Blog

Hiya! 

I decided to call it a blog bc of the length of it hehe ☺️ Hope you guys have a wonderful Christmas! Amid all the uncertainties. i hope you guys are able to see your loved ones, one way or the other! 💗 May you guys find joy in the little things, going out with your family for a walk (in the snow! if you have that!), doing a fun board game, etc cuz they matter! Keep those memories for moments when you're feeling a little low 💗 I took a run in the forest the other day with some teeny tiny bit of snow and still recap that moment back in my mind when i start to feel uneasy or down. 

You're still on my mind (a lot) as a struggled through quite a stormy period in my life these past months. I still miss being here (a lot) and still have i high hopes that once every has found its way back to a healthier rhythm, i might be able to come back. Maybe in another capacity but still mostly as a CC creator.  I'm still trying to find a wholesome way to balance work, hobbies, and school tbh. 

Since 15th of Oct i have been on sick leave bc of my depression that took a big dive. Even though i've been on sick leave, the time i have 'left' bc of not being able to work were spend trying to keep up with college, healing, etc. Nowadays, reading a book/doing a assignment costs me so much more time atm. I do see improvement luckily! so i rlly hope its turning around in the near future. Giving me back my creating time hopefully!

I do have some outlook on therapy now, thank god. Here in the Netherlands, its so bussy in mental healthcare that you're put on a waiting list that can build up to months and months. Just before Christmas break i got word that i can start in January. I also start going back to work slowly again in January. I look forward to that. Now that im seeing a shimmer of improvement, a slightly steady slow build up. i missed being there since its not all bad. 

My contract for extra hours however is coming to an end at the end of January. I'm rlly going to miss that extra income in a financial aspect but i decided (after many months of not prioritizing my mental health) its not worth it. I found it rlly hard to admit and accept that bc it felt like 'failing' in a world where you're success is measured (a lot) in the amount of hours you work and what you earn. I literally had my boss saying before i got the extra hours;"ohh i thought you didn't want to work more, didn't want to have a career."
Not that it matters for the rest of my story but first; i could not get more hours when i started working here. Second; like its impossible to have a career besides a 3 day job, as if those 3 days mean nothing to the company(?) The joke of it is that i've never worked 'only' 3 days since i've worked here. I have sooo many extra hours its insane XD. and i plan on taking them all in 2022 *evil laughter* XD

Anyway, i'm hoping that this will free up some extra time for creating purposes, besides college =).

Lots of love,

Renora