2022/03/31 - supplement
Added 2022-03-31 13:20:28 +0000 UTCThe reason I did this was simply because my parents were "forced by my grandmother" and "busy non-interference from work" i think. I wanted to give other people what I didn't get, mainly "interest in personality". And I wanted them to live without spoiling their unique abilities. By doing so, I also thought that I could exert my strength. But I don't think I should have imposed my expectations on them. It was, after all, the same as what my parents did, and I think I was only doubly hurt myself. they are better now, it is simply good. but i never want do it again. it is mean of how “i done”. and i need to end current myself 4/10 once. i will leave every responsibility for everyone soon. If they fall into the dark again, it will no longer be my responsibility. And if I went, it wasn't the responsibility of them or my parents after all. “the bitter feeling” remain, just be gapping.
Can you understand what I feel sad about? I helped a person. But it's very sad to feel that it shouldn't be done again as guilt and fault. It's difficult to help people. But without helping or hurting people, it is difficult for us to feel alive. Is it good to help people deeply? Do you know what kind of tragedy a missing person will have when trying to save a missing person? I remember the “killing stalking”(manga). The injured person can be a temporary place for the injured person, but it is really impossible to give. I feel that I have driven my wishes into the abyss.
