2022/03/31 close to death
Added 2022-03-31 12:56:25 +0000 UTCMy body refuses to move and forgets how I had hope. Walking is difficult for me.
Well, I'm thinking about death, but you should be relieved about it as it's not a suicide plan. I set end of myself to 4/10. It was the day my grandmother died last year. All the calamities I carried died with her who afflicted my mother. I thought about my role. And I came to the conclusion that "I done all " and its purpose are no longer necessary for me who current period. That fact is debilitating my body. A little different from despair, I literally feel "no longer needed" for me. And I feel that I have to die once ceremonially. The only question is that I had a "huge dissatisfaction with the unidentified world" that wasn't shared properly. No one understood it, and I don't think anyone could understand it. If it's blocking my vitality, it's not fair. So I'll share it as much as I can in the time left. By the way, I play Inscription and Elden Ring. These are my only activities, so I want to share the live video with you, but I don't know how to do it so far. My console is PS4 and PC. If anyone wants to see it, I would appreciate any help.
Comments
Thank you every time. That timing, Most of my work was a proxy for questions about my family and the world. I love them all, but now I drown power to make them. If I could have enough time and experience, it might be done in the future as any shape.
Kiki-CR
2022-04-09 09:48:27 +0000 UTCAnyhow, I trying to the best.
Kiki-CR
2022-04-09 09:43:57 +0000 UTCI really like your artworks, characters, worlds, words and you, Kiki. I wish you get better in the future.
すみた
2022-04-07 17:33:42 +0000 UTCThere's a lot more left, is it truly done?
Silken
2022-04-07 15:00:13 +0000 UTCI think so too. And at the moment my body is frozen out of the will of me and others. But my main will is same to your comment, thank you.
Kiki-CR
2022-04-01 03:56:08 +0000 UTCI think you can understand it. We die many times in the game. Then repeat game reset. in this mass informative society, it may be unhealthy that we die only once.
Kiki-CR
2022-04-01 03:54:19 +0000 UTCThe world is generally tragic, but at least Vilous lore weaves many tragedy from real world we know into a story. I entrust them to Mick, but I hope they will be in your hands someday.
Kiki-CR
2022-04-01 03:48:23 +0000 UTCSounds like depression has hit you really hard. You know you can reach out. There is help. People love your works and want to see you live a long life.
2022-03-31 19:21:47 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing your thoughts with us. The idea of 'dying ceremonially' is very interesting. If we feel we have nothing left to do in this world, but don't want to sadden other people with our untimely death, this is a way to start again. I would like to see you play those games, I really enjoy talking with friends while I watch them play (or while I am playing), it's very soothing. Sadly I have no idea how to stream from consoles.
Pentalis
2022-03-31 14:31:51 +0000 UTCI agree with Catburd, I was hoping to meet Mick and you one day. This is very sad. I wish for you to get better and fast.
Chol Von
2022-03-31 13:54:26 +0000 UTCThank you, this comment is just warm to me. Thank you again.
Kiki-CR
2022-03-31 13:29:55 +0000 UTC
