Trust Machines: Briefs

“Wow, they’re all together?” Phil was tapping his friend’s arm and pointing toward the venn machine.

“What? Who? Oh. How many are already in the machine?”

“Wow, they’re all together?” Phil was tapping his friend’s arm and pointing toward the venn machine.

“What? Who? Oh. How many are already in the machine?”

“Three women that I saw. Now, four, five,” he said. “Is clothing getting thrown out of the machine?”

“Yep, they’re going venn commando. That was eight women, I think?” Evan asked.

“And just that one guy collecting the clothing? This would be so much better if they were eight guys.”

“You swing your way, Phil. I’ll swing mine.”

“That’s why I love you, Evan.”

“Did that guy just get in the other side by himself?”

“Yeah. And look at the display. It’s set for a year.”

“There’s no way the women are changing him. This is a venn he’s going to do to them. Five dollars that it’ll be an inanimate.”

“No bet. That would make the most sense.”

“Damn. The machine just cycled. He’s fast.”

“Or he’s done this before.”

Forty seconds passed before the door on their side opened and the man stepped out.

“I don’t see the women. Definitely inanimate.”

“What do you turn eight people into?”

“A set of fancy dinner service place settings for eight? I can’t believe it.”

The man entered the other side of the machine and exited carrying a small, plastic bag they’d seen the man hand to the last woman to enter the machine.

“I have to find out,” Evan said. He got up and rushed toward the man who was heading for the exit. When he caught up to him he said, “Excuse me. I don’t mean to be rude but I have to know.”

“What’s in the bag?”

“What did you turn them into? What’s in the bag?”

“Underwear.”

“What?”

“See for yourself.” The man opened the bag and held the opening toward Evan. Inside were a jumble of men’s boxer briefs in blue, gold, and black colors, some solid, some patterned.

“You just turned eight women into underwear for a year.”

“I did. You’re about my size. Want one?”

“What?”

“Marlena? Would you like it if I just gave you to some rando?”

“Oh, that would be awesome,” a soft voice inside the bag said.

“She would so dig that,” said another feminine voice.

“I guess we’re saying goodbye to Marly,” said a third.

“Bye, Marly,” and a fourth.

“Virtual hugs.”

(You get the idea.)

“If I say no, I feel like I’ll disappoint the others,” the underwear named Marlena must have said.

“Well?” The man said to Evan.

“Um… Sure. What color is she?”

“No idea.” The man reached into the bag. His hand moved around trying grab the right underwear. Several voices said ‘no’ or ‘not me’ or one said ‘yes’ while another said ‘no’ until finally Marlena was separated from the others. He pulled his hand out of the bag with a gold and black striped pair of boxer briefs. “Last chance to say, ‘No,’ Marley.”

“Just hand me to him, Charles.”

“Wear her well, um…”

“Evan.”

“Bye, Marly.” “Is he cute, Charles?” “Bye, Evan,” a few of the voices in the bags said.

Evan watched as Charles walked away. He was startled from his woolgathering when a pair of teenage girls walking by giggled at the man holding a pair of underwear near the mall exit.

“I’m putting you in my pocket until later,” he said stuffing Marlena into the front pocket of his windbreaker. He felt foolish immediately. First, because the teenagers’ giggles turned into full guffaws of laughter. And, second, because the underwear didn’t respond.

Phil tapped him on the shoulder. “What were they?”

“Underwear.”

“That’s kind of disappointing.”

“They could talk.”

“Why?”

“Dunno.”

“What did they say?”

“Can you understand what eight women talking at once say?”

Phil laughed. When Phil didn’t ask him about the underwear in his pocket, he didn’t volunteer the information.

*

It was three days later when Evan put his hands into his jacket pocket while a late autumn breeze chilled his fingers harshly. “What?” Oh, damn, he thought. I forgot about the underwear.

When he returned home, he took the underwear out of his pocket before hanging up his jacket. “You okay?”

No response.

“Fine.” He put the underwear on his dresser and went about his evening. In the morning, after he showered, he picked the underwear up. “Here goes.” He stretched the waistband to test it before putting his leg through the opening and through the leg opening below.

“Finally,” the underwear said. “How long was I inert?”

“Inert? I didn’t know you could go inert.” His other leg slipped through and he pulled the underwear up. It was rather comfortable. He adjusted his scrotum so it sat in the little pocket in the front of the underwear.

“Yeah, when not worn or being washed, it’s easy to kind of zone out. Being unworn underwear isn’t exactly mentally challenging. Wow, you have a good size.”

He was reaching for a shirt when his eyes bugged out. Something – he had a good idea what – licked his ball sack. A muffled, “Mmm,” emitted from his underwear. “Nice and clean,” the underwear continued.

“You have a tongue.”

Lips kissed the length of his shaft. A moist opening formed and his cock was pulled inside by that tongue. “That answer your questions?” the voice said, muffled in the manner someone with their mouthful would speak.

“Are you going to?”

“You aren’t saying I shouldn’t, are you?”

“I… well… no. But, I’ll probably find this very distracting.”

“That’s the idea.” The boxer briefs resumed pleasuring Evan. They did not stop until he had soiled them. “Sorry, but I can’t swallow.”

“That’s… I don’t know what I would think if you could.”

The pants giggled. “Don’t ask me to explain my anatomy. Charles explained it to me on several occasions but it’s just gibberish to me.”

“I would love to ask you more about Charles. But, I am going to be late for work if I don’t finish getting dressed. I would advise you not to repeat what just happened, especially when I’m driving.”

“I’m good.” A tongue flicked across his tip. “For a while, at least. Don’t be late on my account.”

*

She did it again while he was eating lunch. He started to protest but she pointed out she’d waited until lunchtime. Luckily for him there were no coworkers looking to chat him up that noontime. After dinner, he took a shower. He disrobed in the bathroom and after he had dried off he took the towel and the clothes he’d worn all day and put them in the hamper.

He was about to walk away when he fished out the underwear. “You’re okay with this?”

“This what? You took me off. Was I supposed to notice something?”

“The hamper. You’re going to sit there for at least a week before you get washed.”

“Did you notice the group of briefs I was with the other day? It’s not like Charles only has one pair of living underpants.”

“How did he convince you and your friends – are you friends? – to be venned as underwear for a year?”

“That’s a long story for a dirty pair of boxer briefs to tell.”

“True. You do have something of a musky odor now.”

“Oh, I bet that smells good. I have no nose.”

“Is that why a pile of laundry doesn’t turn you off?”

“One reason.”

“I know what I can do.” He tossed the pants in the sink and turned on the water. Once it was warm, he added some laundry soap for delicate clothes and hand washed the briefs.

They were moaning.

“Are you enjoying this?”

“Fuck, yes. Don’t stop.”

He chuckled and finished washing and rinsing the moaning clothing. He let the water run out of the sink and rinsed them again. When he wrung them out, they let out a soft cry of ecstasy.

“Oh, god. Wring me tighter, Wash Boy. Wring my wet body.”

He laughed. “It’s really odd hearing dirty talk from something I just cleaned. That’s as much as I think I can squeeze from you.”

“I’m good. I wish I could breathe at times like this. It would make the post orgasmic feeling feel more real.”

“You just orgasmed?”

“Several times. Another reason we enjoy being clothing. Although, being hand washed is much better than being machine washed.”

“You got venned… you and seven other women got venned because being run through a washing machine was orgasmic?”

“When you say it like that it sounds silly.”

“This whole episode is silly.”

“I didn’t write it,” the underwear said. “Look, it’s not just the washing machine. It also feels really good when I get jizzed on.”

“Sure. Common, everyday people say that all the time.”

“I admit, the other women and I do have something of an oral fixation. That aspect is great, too. Everyone I know who’s been Charles’ underwear a second time share that fixation.”

“How did Charles find you all?”

“Would you believe word of mouth?”

“Now, you’re fucking with me.”

“I’d rather be sucking you.”

“You’re still a bit moist.”

“If I were alive I’d be wet,” she said. “Did you roll your eyes? You seem like an eyerolling fellow.”

“Guess you’ll find out in a year.”

“About that. Do you have a girlfriend?”

“I’ve been on a date recently. We’re working on scheduling a third date.”

“I bet I can convince her to join me,” the underwear said with confidence. “Having two of us would allow one of us to drip dry while the other is worn.”

“You want me to tell the woman I’ve been seeing for less than two weeks I want to turn her into cock sucking underwear?”

“You’re a moron if that’s how you start that conversation. She isn’t a prude, I hope? Or the jealous type? You could weed that out real fast by whether she thinks she can tell you not to wear me.”

“That does have some practical benefit.”

“Ooh, a marketing vector. Buy talking underwear to enhance your relationships.”

“And we’re hiring. No experience necessary,” he added.

“I knew I liked you. Tell her I exist. I won’t say a word to her in public so she doesn’t feel awkward about it. Just be sure to tell her before you’re in bed with her and she wants to pull me off you. I prefer being slid to the side.”

“You want me to wear you while I’m with Grace?”

“Oh, god, yes, I love the feeling of being slammed between two people’s genitals.”

“I can’t decide if that would be weirder to tell her than the sucking part.”

“Listen. How do you think I ended up here? I dated Charles. And he told me he was wearing Debra. Debra went on and on about the orgasms. I dismissed the whole idea and then couldn’t stop thinking about it for a week. The next time I saw Charles it was getting into a venn machine to try it out just for one day.”

“How did you end up going for a year?”

“My second venn was only supposed to three months. That venn would have ended next Wednesday, I think. Charles had various women venned with various durations and ending times. He insisted we talk among ourselves to reduce the number of times he needed to go to the venn machine.”

“I’m imagining an underwear drawer from which the sounds of debate can be heard.”

“It took us a couple days to convince a couple of the girls to do the whole year. Debra wanted a three year venn. But she couldn’t get much support.”

“Boxer briefs needing support.”

“I tell the funny stuff, Wash Boy.”

“So, you think if Grace hears about you, then talks to you, she’ll agree to give this a try.”

“Absolutely,” Marly said. “And once she likes it, she can pull in her circle of friends. Soon you’ll have a week’s worth of underwear just like Charles. If you told him, he’d probably ask you to place a wager on who could get to fifteen or twenty first.”

*

From the moment he met her at the restaurant, Evan couldn’t figure out how to work Marlena into the conversation: “Hey, babe, did I mention my underwear can speak?” “Grace, I feel like I should ask how you feel about me getting sucked off by my underwear.” “Ever wanted to spend the day with a cock in your mouth?”

“You’re being very quiet?” Grace said. They were in the backseat a ride share car headed back to his apartment.

“Sorry. What were you saying?”

“I was saying you were quiet most of the evening. Is everything all right?”

“Yes. It’s nothing.”

“Should I go home?”

“No. It’s…” His eyes drifted to the driver and back to her. “Not here in the cab. I’ll explain at my place.” He felt a little bad about his acting concerned about speaking in front of the driver.

“Okay.”

He realized his mistake instantly. The rest of the ride was in silence and far more awkward than it had to be. They walked up to his apartment in silence.

She took off her shoes at the door and flopped down onto the sofa. “Well?”

“I guess you aren’t looking for a drink,” he said, joining her on the sofa. “Where to begin…”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“No. The question is are you breaking up with me?”

“Why would I do that? You don’t sleep around, do you?”

“No. You aren’t really into getting venned, I guess.”

“No, it was really fun when the machines first appeared, before we met. But, you can only have really big tits or a big cock so often before they become boring.”

“Is that how you would use them?”

“Yeah, my circle of friends would get together and do body swaps with extra size. Then we’d go out and get wasted. Fond as I am of what memories exist from that time, it wasn’t a shining moment in lifetime.”

“Ever do anything weirder?”

“My friend Janus loved to get turned into dresses. I wore her to a bunch of clubs. I haven’t heard from her in a while. She’s probably hanging in someone’s closet happy as a lark. Or happy as a cocktail dress, I guess.” She laughed.

“I met someone like that recently,” he said.

“Are you wearing them now?” She was checking out his cloths as if they would be signs that his collared shirt was a person.

“No. But I wear her often and I’ve been feeling like you should know.”

“I should know what?”

“That I’ve been wearing a woman frequently.”

“Oh, that’s fine. It’s not like it’s anything sexual.”

The ding of an elevator arriving at its floor a building away could have been heard in the silence that followed.

“It is sexual?” She said, confused and perturbed. “How is it sexual?”

“She’s a pair of boxerbriefs.”

“That doesn’t make it sexual.”

“She can talk and do other things a mouth can do.”

“WHAT??!!”

“Calm down. I had no idea what she could do when she was given to me.”

“You had no idea? Given?” She took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I know you aren’t some weirdo. Tell me the whole story from the beginning. I think you’re leaving stuff out.”

“Okay… Well, I was at the mall with Phil…” He started.

*

“If I have this straight, these women so enjoy giving head they spend time as underwear?”

“I didn’t say any of this makes sense.”

“I can tell you’re dying to introduce us. Go get her.”

“Be right back.”

“No, let’s go into your bedroom.”

“Marlena?” He said holding the underwear. “Wake up, Marlena. Grace is here.”

Silence.

“She probably zoned out. She said if she isn’t worn time just zips by.”

“And thus you have to put her on?” She rolled her eyes when he shrugged. “Just do it.”

“How did you know that?” He hesitantly removed his clothes.

“Janus told me she loves zoning out as clothing. Must be similar.”

“You’re sure I should...?”

“Evan, put on the living underwear in front of your girlfriend.”

“That makes it sound worse,” he said, changing his underwear.

As soon as the waistband was set in place, the underwear said, “Oh, goodie. I missed your cock.”

“I have a guest here, Marlena.”

“Is it Grace? You finally told her? Hello, dear. I bet this is awkward.”

“I have conversations like this four or five times a week,” Grace joked.

“You didn’t screw up too much, Evan,” Marly said. “She’s making jokes. Grace, may I call you Grace? I’d offer to shake your hand but, no hands. You could grab his dick and shake it. I’m curious it that would feel like a handshake to me.”

“Don’t tempt me to do something vigorous with his dick.”

“I knew I’d like you. Evan always speaks so well of you. I’m hoping we can coexist in his life. But if not, I’ll give Evan Charles’ phone number and you can send me back to his harem, or underwear drawer depending on how you see it.”

“There’s really a Charles with seven woman spending a year as his underwear?”

“Yeah, assuming he hasn’t acquired any more. Connie was his first. Then Morgan. Debra roped me and Patrice in. And Vickie, Sandra, and Una. I kind of miss hanging out with Una. She would probably prefer Evan to Charles.”

“This is too absurd. Why would you want to be men’s underwear?”

“Being underwear is extremely relaxing. Underwear has no stress. Snuggling up against his cock is a pleasure, like a warm hug. Now, I’ll admit. I enjoy giving a guy head. If that’s a real turn off, I guess it wouldn’t be as amazing as I find it.”

“You wake up, suck his dick, and sleep until the next time? What kind of existence is that?”

“You wake up, get dressed, go to a place you can’t stand, talk to people you wish you never had to see ever again, suffer for hours, choke down a bland lunch, suffer for more hours, come home, have to cook, eat, shower, watch something stupid of television, and only then do you sleep and start it all over again. What kind of existence is that?” Marlena said. “I like to think my existence is evolved, like that of a housecat. No worries. No rush. Dick when I want it.”

“Maybe that last part isn’t very cat-like,” Evan said.

“Hush. The warm snuggling up against the dick is equivalent to finding the spot on the floor being warmed by the sun.”

“That’s... amusing.”

“The point I’m making is not running the rat race has high appeal from where I’m… hanging.”

“Is this a problem for you, Grace?”

“No. Suck his dick. If you’re doing it, he won’t ask me.”

“Suit yourself,” the underwear said.

Evan unsuccessfully stifled a moan.

“Is it really that good?” Grace said, looking at Evan. She was shocked when they both replied at once.

“Incredible,” Evan said.

“Yummy,” Marlena said. “I wish I could make slurping noises. What I use for a tongue isn’t really wet. At least not until I’m done.”

Grace sat next to Evan and pulled his shirt off. Before he could say anything, she kissed him. Between smooches, Evan said, “Marlena, ease up.” “I think you’re going to get your other wish.”

He could feel a change in the way she was pleasuring him, she had switched to a mode conducive to keeping him erect instead of bringing him to orgasm.

Between kisses, Grace said, “Let me guess. She likes being worn when the guy fucks.”

Grace was naked and he pulled his cock out of his underwear, leaving them on, as he entered Grace.

*****

Afterward, Evan and Grace lay in bed cuddling. Evan had removed the soiled underwear. He could tell Grace wasn’t completely relaxed against his body.

“You aren’t happy,” he said.

“I’m confused.” She said.

He let her comment sit without saying anything.

“Was that my first threesome?” She asked. “Can’t say I ever considered having a threesome like that.”

“But you have considered being involved in threesomes.”

“I don’t know if we’ve reached the level where I tell you my threesomes fantasies.”

“That’s fair. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”

“’Hey, Grace, can we have a chat with my underwear?’”

The underwear chuckled. “Sorry, I was planning to leave this part strictly to Evan to handle. But that was funny.”

“Evan, is she trying to seduce me?”

“Kind of.”

“An 8 hour venn wouldn’t kill you.”

Grace was dumbfounded.

“Compared to having you first threesome be a guy, you, and pair of underwear, where does being seduced by a pair of underwear rate?” Evan said.

She blinked and looked at him before she laughed heartily. “This is just so fucked up.”

“Should we go for the closer, Marly?”

“What?”

“You are soiled.”

“Oh, gods, maybe not. She might think I was just acting.”

“Just show me,” Grace said.

Grace said nothing as Evan rinsed, soaped, rinsed, and wrung Marlena.

“Did she leave?” Marlena asked.

“No, she’s just staring at you.”

“Oh, no! I’m probably all wrinkled after that epic wringing you just did.”

“I could use a hair dryer on you.”

“You didn’t offer that before.”

“You said drip drying was… hang on. She just sighed.”

“Put Marly on. We’re headed to the machine on fourth avenue.”

“Yay!” Marlena cheered.

*****

To Evan and Marlena’s surprise, Grace put a coin in the machine and set it to three days.

When Grace saw his face, she said, “If I’m going to experience this, I have to find out how the boring parts feel, too.”

“Why three days?”

“I sent a text to my boss saying I wouldn’t be working Monday. Being worn while you’re at work is another thing I need to find out about. Now get in before I change my mind.”

“You aren’t going to change me, are you?”

“Probably not.” She disappeared into the other chamber right after saying that.

“It’s only three days,” Marlena said.

He got in the machine. The door closed and the interface lit up.

“Um… What do I do?”

Marlena laughed. “I was wondering when you’d realize you don’t what to do.”

“Typical,” came a muffled shout from Grace waiting on the other side of the wall.

“History,” Marlena shouted. “Do you see underwear, Evan?”

“The black and gold you are now is in the center. There are other black and blue colored boxer briefs. And a red one.”

“I want to be red,” Grace shouted.

“The red underwear can do all the things you can do?” He asked.

“Yes,” Marlena said. “Select them and hit the green button.”

Forty seconds later, Evan entered the other chamber and picked up the red boxer briefs.

“How do you feel, Grace?”

“Randy.”

“What?” He left the chamber to let the next couple, who seemed not to know what duration they wanted, use the machine.

“I said, ‘Dandy,’” Grace said with a laugh.

“She’s in a good mood,” Marlena said.

Laughter reached Evan’s ears. He looked and saw those same teenagers laughing at him.

“It’s venned briefs,” he exclaimed, waving Grace about.

This resulted in more laughter.

He stuffed Grace in his pants pocket. The briefs were whispering.

“Getting waved around felt pretty good.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Marlena said. “No one’s been weird enough to wave me in the air in a mall.”

“Lucky you. Change now.”

“Now? Okay,” Evan said.

“Someone’s anxious to be closer to you, you lucky guy,” Marlena teased.

“If I’m going to be just an article of clothing for three days, I want to be worn as much as possible.”

“Fair.”

When he put Grace on, she didn’t say anything for a few moments.

“Are you wearing her?” Marlena asked.

“Yes. Not sure why she’s so quiet.”

“I’m shocked at how nice it feels just having you in my face,” Grace said.

“You feel like all is right with the world?” Marlena said.

Silence.

“Oh, my,” Evan said.

“She’s hooked,” Marlena said.

“This isn’t fair,” Grace said one word at a time between licks. “I’ve never been so turned on in my life.”

“She does this better than you.”

“You take that back!” Marlena said.

“Gotcha.” Evan joked.

“That was mean.”

“Am I doing it wrong?” Grace asked. “How’s this?”

“Whoa,” Evan said. “She’s already upping her game, Marlena.”

“Definitely hooked.”

“Grace, I need to be able to walk home. Ease up or I’m taking you off.”

“Fine.”

She was silent and inactive the entire walk home. When they got back to his apartment, Fiona was there. Evan had met Grace’s friend once before. She rushed to meet Evan as he stepped onto the landing. “Where is she?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I sent her a text when you were getting dressed,” Grace said.

“Was that her? Are you wearing her?”

“Yes.”

“Hey, I’m Marlena. I’m in his pocket.

“Oh, cool. I’m Fiona. I’ve been Grace’s friend since grade school.”

Evan unlocked his door and held his hand out so Fiona could enter before him. “I don’t know why you’re here. But, please, come in.”

“I want to see her.”

“I can give you Marly.”

“Okay.”

He pulled the briefs out of his pocket and tossed them to her.

“These are well made.”

“Stretch me some more.”

“That’s unsettling.”

“Oddly enough, you get used to talking to underwear,” Evan said. “Want a beer?”

“Um, yeah. I think I do.”

“I’m guessing you want to hear the whole story.”

“Well, yeah, and I want to see her sucking you off.”

“Too late.”

“If there were a website where I could see this, I wouldn’t need to watch you doing it.”

“Let’s just tell her the whole story before there’s any underwear porn.”

With two pairs of underwear chiming in with various details, it took almost an hour to get Fiona up to speed. Evan was sitting on his sofa. Fiona sat on the floor not far away with Grace on the floor between them.

“What would happen if I were to wear one of them? Is their tongue long enough to…?”

“I have to admit,” Marlena said. “I’ve wanted to try this but Charles never let a woman wear me, or any of the other briefs that I’m aware of.”

“One way to find out,” Fiona said getting up, grabbing Marlena, and disappearing into the bathroom.

Grace laughed. “Did she just run off with Marlena?”

“She did.”

“Good, I can finish what I started.”

“You really like this?”

“Don’t ask me why,” Grace said. “But, yeah. I’ll do this from time to time. But I can’t go for a year.”

“I do prefer that you are sensible.”

“Thank you. Now, just sit back and let your girlfriend pleasure you.”

“I’d like th…” As he spoke, the sound of a woman orgasming without heed to the volume of her moans came from the bathroom. “Did you hear Fiona?”

“I wondered what that…”

She was cut off by the bathroom door slamming open. Fiona stalked toward Evan wearing only Marlena. She’d tied a knot in the waistband so the briefs didn’t slip off her hips. “Let’s fuck,” Fiona demanded. She was a bit shorter than average but she pulled Evan off the sofa like he weighed nothing.

“My girlfriend is right here.”

“That’s the best part,” Fiona said, dragging him toward the bedroom. “She and Marlena are going to have VIP seating to us fucking.”

“Help me out here, Grace.”

“Tell them you’re fine with it,” Marlena said. “You will love it.”

“I was going to say go for it.”

“Cool, cool,” Fiona said. She pressed herself against him to kiss him as she pulled his shirt off him. Her hand massaged his groin.

“Oh, my, that’s awesome,” Grace said.

Fiona laughed. “I’ve always wanted to feel you up, Grace.”

“You’ve told me that before. I know.”

“I’m missing something,” Evan said.

“Fee is my bisexual friend who secretly has the hots for her BFF.”

“It was never a secret. I told you how I felt about you like two days after we met.”

“I was talking archetypes. You like to work against expectations.”

“I wish I could be munching popcorn,” Marlena chimed in. “But munching Fiona is much better.”

“Less talking, more muff diving,” Fiona demanded.

“Yes, Mistress,” Marlena said jokingly. She muttered, “Underwear slavedriver.”

They were in bed and Fiona had pushed her briefs to the side. Her waist was nearily bent in half, she rested her heels on Evans shoulders.

Evan moved Grace aside. He pushed himself into Fiona’s burning hot and well lubricated opening.

“Oh, god, it went right in. So deep,” Fiona said.

“You are soaking wet,” Evan said.

“So am I,” Grace said.

“I know. She must enjoy sex a lot,” Marlena said.

“Oh, god,” Fiona moaned.

“Are you an exhibitionist, Fiona?”

“What tipped you off? Sex with the briefs as both observers and participants is driving me insane.”

“I almost feel like I don’t need to be here,” Evan said.

“If you try to leave, I’ll…. Oh fuck!!”

Her threat died in her scream. Evan’s hips ran harder than a jackhammer. Fiona’s moans and shouts were only louder than Marlena’s and Grace’s because she had lungs that could move air more efficiently than bits of fabric could.

Evan felt godlike as the choir of women feverishly voiced encouragement for his performance. He managed to hold off his own orgasm until the voices were straining and begging for an end.

The two humans were a sweaty mess. Evan discovered Fiona was a cuddler. She’d fallen asleep after giving him a few kisses. He fell asleep shortly after her.

*****

It was late Saturday morning when Evan woke. Fiona rolled away from him and continued to sleep. He peeled Marlena off her and Grace off himself. Neither said anything when he said good morning to them.

He tossed them into the bathroom sink and started washing them.

“Oh, god,” Grace exclaimed.

“Good morning, I’m guessing,” Marlena said.

“Oh, god.”

Marly laughed. “She’s reacting well to being washed.”

“Seems that way,” Evan agreed. “We have one problem.”

“Oh?” Marlena said.

“Oh, fuck. Scrub harder.”

“Yes, My Boxer Babe.”

“Oh, fuck.”

“Wow, she didn’t even complain about the nickname.”

“What’s the problem?”

“Oh, right. I’m sure Fiona will be joining my underwear drawer. I can’t fuck if all three of you are underwear.”

“Fiona and Grace…”

“Oh, fuck,” Grace said haltingly. “Penelope. Oh, god. And Una.”

“And, maybe Stewart if you aren’t weirded out by that,” Fiona said, hugging Evan from behind.

“Stewart?”

“Oh, yeah, Stewart,” Grace managed to say.

“He’s already a cum connoisseur. And being wrapped around a guy’s crotch would be a good time to him.”

“I suppose I could give it a try.”

“You messed up,” Fiona said. “You should have awoken me and we could have started washing them in the shower after another round of fucks.”

“Yeah, you messed up,” Marlena said.

“Don’t care,” Grace said. She was sitting on the edge of the sink waiting for Evan to finish with Marlena.

Evan handed Marlena to Fiona and picked up Grace.

“You want me to put on soaking wet underwear?”

“No, it’s time to wring them out.”

“There’s more?” Grace said.

Marlena laughed.

The wringing induced moans and shouts of pleasure from both briefs. They were both unresponsive when Evan and Fiona were finished. Evan put a towel on the bathroom vanity and pushed the underwear between the folds to speed up their drying.

“Shower?”

“Please.”

When they were finished, Fiona said, “Take me to the venn machine.”

“Seriously? You won’t experience sex if I’m by myself with three pairs of boxer briefs.”

“Oh, right. Let me call Penny.”

*****

“I’m here,” Phil said. “Hi Grace, Evan. What’s up? I’m not venning.”

“I know.”

Grace set the machine to one month and headed toward the entrance. A woman sitting nearby got up and followed her in. And another. And another. And a man.

“What’s going on?” Phil said. He recognized one or two the people now in the venn machine as friends of Grace he hadn’t really met more than for a moment or two.

“Remember that guy with the harem of women last week?” Evan said.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll explain when I’m done. Could you pick up their clothes?” He handed a large plastic bag to Phil.

A few articles of clothing landed on the floor and the venn door closed.

In a minute, the machine cycled. Phil was staring into the machine and it was empty. He looked down. The floor was covered with boxer briefs in various styles and colors.

Evan stepped past him and scooped up the briefs. “All set,” he called out to the couple waiting to use the machine after him.

“Name?” Evan said to a single set of briefs.

“Penny.”

“They talk?”

“They have functioning mouths for various mouth activities associated with body parts in the vicinity of underwear.

He repeated separating and asking their name until a man’s voice said, “Stewart. I saw your friend. I can’t wait for him to wear me.”

“What?”

“You wear underwear, Phil. I shouldn’t have to explain this,” Evan said. He handed Stewart to Phil. “Have fun.”

“What is going on?”

“Go put these on. Stewart will explain or demonstrate or both. In either case, you will enjoy what he has to say and what he does. Let’s go ladies.”

A chorus of “Bye, Phil” was made by the six underwear Evan placed in the bag.

Phil was standing there trying to understand what happened when laughter reached his ears.

“It’s a different guy this time?” The teenage girl said to her friend.

“Must be something with those machines.”

“It’s too bad we can’t use them yet.”

“I don’t know if I want to if it means I’ll have to talk to underwear in public.”

Phil shoved the underwear in his pocket unaware of the new vista about to appear before his eyes, and elsewhere.