Magic Shoppe - Autocurious 6

As the door opened, a bell bracketed to the wall rang. “Welcome back to the Magic Shoppe,” the tall, thin man behind the counter announced. “What could you possibly need from my shoppe now?”

Dana stepped in. “Can’t I just visit you because I enjoy your company?”

“I don’t think you need any more relationship advice.”

“No.”

“And you seem to accept your new self, although you still haven’t used the item I gave you to use when you were sure.”

“What? Oh, I forgot all about that. Good thing I stopped by.”

“Yes. Good thing. So, did you enjoy the last toy you bought? Don’t leave me hanging.”

“I thought you were better than the others.”

“No, I’m not. Did anyone say ‘low hanging fruit’? ‘Hang in there’? Something about being a wallflower?”

“Yes, yes, no.” She rolled her eyes.

“So, let me guess, you want to be turned into a goldfish in a bowl? A music box ballerina? I know: a painting.”

“Hadn’t thought of any of those. The painting sounds fun, but a bit redundant with the wall hanging.”

“I was going to suggest it the other day but I didn’t think anyone but you would want to buy the shelving brackets.”

“The goldfish would be different. I could move but still be stuck in one place. Same for the ballerina. That one would be great but it wouldn’t really go with Charles’ décor.”

“Hmm, yeah, I don’t have any pirate themed music box dancers. Though a ballerina with a cutlass would be amusing.”

“Ah, ha! You know about his décor. He told me you set him and I up somehow.”

“Dana, I am not in the matchmaking business. I’m in the problem solving business. Someone came into my shop wanting to suck their own dick. Twice.”

“What a weird request,” she joked.

“I think finding you someone else with a dick solved your problem a lot better than your initial request.”

“The funny thing is, I haven’t… There just hasn’t been the right moment to do it.”

“He wasn’t looking for that in particular. He was looking for someone who could truly handle the idea that he was unavailable most of the time and yet would still want to spend time around him without disturbing him.”

“Sounds like matchmaking to me.”

“Don’t argue with the wizard.”

*****

Dana retrieved the item she had been given almost two months ago that she’d forgotten about. Inside it was a small urn, kindling, a match, and a few powders. A hand written note. It appeared to have been edited. Where the text at the beginning had been, “if and when,” was crossed out. Above it was written, “now that”. The full edited text was:

“Dana, now that you’ve decided to be Dana for the rest of your life, the ritual in this kit will seal your destiny. Place the locking ribbon and the kindling in the urn. There are two powder packets in this box. One is in a white paper wrapper. Add it to the urn. The other is in a pink paper wrapper. Add this one to the urn if you will ever wish give birth to children as Dana. You can only do this ritual once. Do not do it lightly. Consider all the consequences of your choices.

“Once your decision is made, strike the included match (and only this match) against the side of the urn and drop it inside. The powder(s) will cause a flame to flash and burn out quickly. Inhale the smoke that rises out of the urn for at least a full minute afterward.

“I suggest you do the ritual in the presence of a loved one as it will probably be an emotional experience. After the ritual is over, you will be a woman in all ways. The wig will be your hair. The breast forms will be real breasts. And if you included the pink powder packet, you will ovulate monthly and be fertile.

“The salves that were used to remove your penis will become inert. You will still have a connection to the dildo. But, it will no longer ejaculate.

“I hope you enjoy being the woman you were meant to be. And that you’ll no longer need to shop at my shoppe, though I’m sure you will continue to visit.”

She read the note several times. Each time, she was derailed by the idea that she could eventually give birth to a child. Or not. How could she make that choice? She wanted to make her womanhood permanent. But, she wasn’t sure about the pink powder packet.

She needed to talk to someone. She wasn’t sure who to call. She had already decided she wanted Charles to be there when she did the ritual but she was also sure it was too soon in their relationship to talk about having children.

Her sister would tell her to have many babies as that was how she had always talked about adulthood when they were younger.

Nancy had been her womanly consultant for relationships. She wasn’t sure if she was the right person to talk to at all.

She had suspected this box contained what it did all along. She just didn’t expect there to be a weighty choice to make as well.

A few days passed. Dana had spent the last few nights streaming her game play online. She had accumulated a decent number of followers. She had just told them she was going to take a short break when her phone rang. It was her father. She knew Rachel had told him about her transition but she hadn’t spoken to him yet.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Hello, Dana.” She could tell he was a bit uncomfortable calling her that.

“It’s good to hear from you. How are you?”

“Oh, my,” he said. He sounded surprised, perhaps shocked.

“Dad?”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting…”

“What?”

“You sound like my mother.” Her grandmother had died before she was a teenager.

“Does Rachel?”

“No, she sounds more like your mother’s sisters. I’m sorry. I’ve been meaning to call you since I last spoke to Rachel. I just wasn’t expecting to hear… I need a moment.”

“I don’t think I am supposed to say ‘I’m sorry’, but…”

“Oh, goodness, no. I’m just a little overwhelmed. And a little mad at myself. I’d forgotten how much I miss her.” She could hear his hands rubbing near the phone, likely wiping tears from his eyes. “Anyway.” He cleared his throat, still a bit more choked up than he wanted to admit. “I heard you have finally met someone you’re dating regularly.”

“Finally?”

“Well, now that you’re my daughter I want to meet this young man.”

“Way to be sexist, Dad.”

“I’m treating you like I treat Rachel. Fair is fair.”

“I should be thankful for that. Charles is wonderful. We’ve even gone to a few baseball games together.”

“Oh, no one cares about your loser team, Dana.”

“Sorry for never rooting for your favorite.”

“It’s okay. Should I have Ellen invite you two down soon?” Ellen was his current wife. Dana wondered if her rocky relationship with her would change. And whether it could get worse, perhaps.

“I’ll have to check with him. He works like eighty hours a week, it seems.”

“He isn’t cheating on you, is he?”

“No, I’ve been there on the weekend when he was putting in additional hours. He’s a senior VP level officer at an investment firm. And while Wall Street goes to sleep at night, I’ve learned that investors do not.”

“Then I wonder if he spends enough time on you.”

“It’s fine, Dad. I’m just glad you’re comfortable with my changes.”

“I’m still getting used to it really. Rachel’s news was a total shock.”

“Was it?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Someone told me you were aware that I wasn’t very masculine in your eyes.”

“Dana. I loved you before. I love you, now. I will always love my child. Okay, yes, I was aware that you were far more likely to be a woman’s friend than to be her lover. But, that doesn’t mean I ever expected to receive a phone call with the news ‘your son was magically changed into a woman and she’s good with it.’”

“I suppose that would be a weird thing to expect.”

“And you know Rachel. She went into far too much detail about your former genitalia.”

“Oh, god.”

“My point exactly. And it’s your own fault for telling her.”

“It is.” A normal conversation lull occurred and Dana realized she had the right person on the phone. “I… I’d like to ask your opinion on something.”

“You can ask me anything.”

“I still need to finalize my changes. The details aren’t important except for one. As part of the ritual, I have a choice to make. I don’t know how thorough Rachel was. Essentially, I am very similar to a transwoman. I don’t have the reproductive organs of a woman. But, as part of the finalization ritual, I could gain them. I’m not sure what I should do.”

“Be fertile. You may be unsure now. But, if you don’t do it and regret it later there won’t be anything you can do about it.”

“Yeah, but…”

“No, buts. Yes, you’ll have to be careful. Yes, you’ll get a monthly period, I presume. Just like half the population of the world does. Why would you cut that potential experience away? You’ve never indicated before you never wanted kids.”

“I do want kids. I just never…”

“You’re afraid to be pregnant? I can’t believe you’d be afraid of that. And I can’t imagine you’d be more afraid of it than any other woman. It’s an unknown. You’ll be fine.”

“It does sound silly saying it aloud.”

“Incredibly silly.”

They talked about other things. He told her several stories of his mother she’d never heard before. After they hung up, she had to fix her runny makeup.

*****

“I would be honored to attend,” Charles said. “I’m a little surprised you want to make a big deal about it.”

“Not a big deal,” Dana said. “But, I’m sure it will be emotional and I don’t want to do it alone.”

“But, me? We spend time together and we’re building a relationship. I just would have thought you’d want someone closer to you there.”

“I’d invite Rachel and she would move heaven and earth to get here. But, I don’t need the universe rearranged just for this. I just need someone to hold me when I start crying. And, frankly, you’ve known me, Dana me, longer than most people have.”

“As I said, I am honored. What about Nancy?”

“You understand me more than she does. You sometimes understand me more than I understand myself, like when you had your friend call my phone. If you continue to make up reasons perhaps you’re right and you aren’t the person I should ask. I suppose the wizards at The Magic Shoppe might know me better. But, I don’t know what it feels like to get a hug from him and I’m not really keen to find out.”

“He probably has a cloak that can wrap around you and give you warm vibes.”

“Hmm, true…. I’ll have to ask him about that.”

“I know when you’re trying to get a rise out of me.”

“Because you know me so well.”

“Fine. When are you planning to do it?”

“Given your availability, if you are available for the next few hours, there’s no time like now.”

“I told you I’m due at the airport for a red eye flight.”

“And you won’t be back for three weeks. If not now, I’ll have to wait.”

“Tell me what I have to do. I can sleep on the plane.”

*****

The smoke rose from the urn. She breathed it in. It smelled of… home. She could hear stability, see life, feel love. Emotions washed over her in a tidal wave of chaos. Her entire life flashed before her eyes but only the last few months were in focus, crisp, raw, exciting, real.

Her eyes opened. She was leaning back awkwardly against a warm, hard chest.

“There you are,” Charles said. His voice was strength, power, and a little concerned. “How do you feel?”

“You sound worried.”

“You fell over like your marionette strings had been cut. If I hadn’t been right behind you, you’d have landed flat on your back. Are you alright?”

“I feel...” She sat up. The room was more in focus. She was Dana now and forever. Her old self felt like a dream she would fondly remember. But was it real? She had always been Dana. Right? “I feel great.”

“You look like you just woke from the most restful nap ever,” he said. “There’s a spark in your eye that was only hinted at before.”

“Do I look different?”

“Maybe only to me.” He inhaled. “You even smell better than ever.”

“What?” She attempt to whiff her own scent.

“Don’t do that. You know I haven’t been thinking you stink. It’s just you exude a confidence you never did before.”

“You like it.”

“It arouses me.”

“Oh? Tell me more.”

“I’d rather show you.”

*****

“You didn’t have to drive me to the airport,” Charles said.

“It’s my fault you aren’t getting there early enough.”

“I didn’t have to make love to you a third time.”

“Yes, you did. And that’s why it’s my fault. Now stop whining and just graciously accept my ride.”

“I thank you deeply, Dana.”

They kissed one another for a few moments. They were standing outside the check point area for his terminal. She couldn’t get any closer to the planes without a ticket. People gawked a little at the love birds but no one said anything.

“I really have to go.”

“I know. I’ll miss you.”

“You seem so self-confident I’m worried you’ll start dating other men while I’m gone.”

“I will chew them up and spit them before you get back. If you don’t go through the trash in search of the bones, you’ll never know.”

He laughed. “It’s funny. Seeing this side of you excites me. As much as I love seeing you on my wall, I love seeing you like this, too.”

“I have become multi-faceted.”

“Do you know the ironic part?” He said, “I don’t know your old name. I’ve never known it.”

She kissed him and shooed him toward the terminal afterward.

“What does it matter?” She said, “That name is dead to me.”