The Rise of Alpha Male-ism: The Demise of Respect By Kenz JL

Manhood is shaped by an insurmountable influx of ideals from media, prior generations and social constructions. What it means “to be a man” has been stripped and reshaped over and over, and boys are sick of it. Who should they listen to? Who is there to look up to? Where should they get their guidance from? 

Well, in recent years, characters like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson or Myron Gaines have burst into the social media scene with a message: you need to hustle, make money, find an obedient woman, and repeat. These instructions have transcended through the eras, taking a different form each time. But, there is nothing wrong with being driven and having a type, so, what’s the problem? 

Subliminal messaging. What we are told is often more than just the words at surface level. Messages perpetuating misogyny, sexism, homophobia and more are all interwoven throughout our digital consumption. With every podcast that dismisses sex work as a “real” job, or instagram reel of a man with a microphone baiting and patronising female interviewees, the message strengthens. 

What is the direct result of this? Its young boys condescending their female teachers, its young boys becoming unable to handle rejection, its young boys murdering young girls. Furthermore, alphamale-ism doesn’t just have negative connotations for women, it is detrimental to men too. These influencers and their messages have curated an unrealistic and almost unattainable expectation. It is implied that if you, a man, do not meet these societal expectations, you have failed. And as these young men “fail” over and over, they grow more frustrated at the world, more depressed, or more numb. Families then lose their sons to suicide, prison or drugs. 

It all seems a bit doom-and-gloom, doesn’t it? It feels like it is too hard to stop an already moving train huh?

Well, I can tell you that we are not going to fix these issues overnight, but it is better to start small than not at all. So, what does that look like?

Lead by example - role model for your sons, brothers, friends. Demonstrate what it looks like to respect women, even if they don’t agree with their life choices. Actively filter your algorithm to show you balanced and unpolarised social perspectives. Research. Google patriarchal impacts on women and minorities, speak to your female friends, learn how you can be a supportive person in their lives. Lastly, practice opening your mind. No one is asking you to completely overthrow your views, values or beliefs. What is asked of you, though, is to consider other ways of thinking, being and living without judgement, and come from a place of curiosity, rather than hostility. 

To be a man, is to be kind.