XaiJu
chuchuflen
chuchuflen

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Thanks a lot for the Criticism!

After reading all of the comments I could gather the mayor issue of the ending of Rock Bottom.
What I lacked was the very development of the twist from the sexual drive of the story to the heavy subjects and the emotions Rio felt over the time with Cinder. It was missing dialogues, inner thoughts and way extra pages.

Someone pointed out stuff like when Raboot / Cinder was breaking like a glass, I could've used more of that to develop the character, to further in the mental state of Cinder and how he was breaking into a sexual toy with no much going on in life anymore. Same way I should've have developed Rio waaay more, specially his trauma and coping mechanisms through Cinder after Loo left him (I should've shown her too), so everything could make more sense in the long run and obviously feel more natural than abrupt.

Obviously the one to blame is me, I actually knew I needed to do more, but after noticing I'm already at page 50, it kinda scared me a little to keep going, I didn't want to drag the comic more but it was more of an inefficiency problem from my part, well I am trying to learn after all, best way to do it is to try it.

About the ending itself, I do still feel strong about it, while most people find it hopeless, my intention was to show through color and background, how there is still a spark of hope, to start a new. Showing Cinder fully covered in sunshine, as a way to show he is free and full of opportunities, despite him not knowing what is there in the World.
For Rio, while drowning in depression (fully covered in dark and blue) it stills show through the window some sparks of light, one small way to redemption despite seeming impossible to reach. But of course, the plot wasn't developed properly so that the ending could actually feel hopeful.

I really don't feel like going back and add more pages but I was brainstorming my way out to do a continuation regardless, could be a nice exercise to see if it's possible to fix the mayor problems. Although this is a BIG maybe.

A note aside, someone actually gave a criticism to myself and it was very interesting because they are right, about my struggle about art vs sexualization. Porn is basically the thing I'm best at but I always felt I could do more, the thing is I feel I can't escape it somehow because it's something I like, I'm known for and it gives me money (thankfully), and this way is shown in my works, Rock Bottom and Bug Bite. Bug Bite was already a very tasking and "too much" of a project for me, tho I'm still not giving up on it, it's hard to see it going on as a comic due my struggle to please myself and the audience. Rock Bottom could've ended like any other revenge doujin, either like a sex slave or they ending up together even tho Cinder would be a broken toy and Rio a broken husk but my struggles decided to try and give them more depth in a failed way.

- Chu

Comments

It's always interesting twists that pull people. The tonal shift was a surprise, but definitely does show where you want to go with things. Don't give up on what you want, and no matter what kind of stories you release, I'm sure the majority of us will be waiting on what you make. ๐Ÿ˜„

C_W_Fox

If we use it to grow, Genuine feedback benefits us all

LameLaneVA

Don't be so hard on yourself, you have great potential to create many things, you are very good, I know that the NSFW theme is very lucrative but you can achieve a lot even if it is not with that, frankly I am not very much into patreon but I decided to support you because of the curiosity that gave me how this story ended far beyond the implication of it, you do not need to believe me but if you do, look at how you were able to catch me in the curiosity to know what would happen leaving aside the adult content, I invite you to encourage yourself to create an sfw comic, many authors started with adult content, then moved to content more for all audiences, several mangacas like Nagatoro or similar, you can too, cheer up, personally I wish you the best of fortune, the mere fact that you have the mental strength to accept mistakes and improve tells you that you have the potential to go very far, I hope you enjoy your art to the fullest and do not stagnate in what is known but in what makes you happy

Makros

It wouldve been hard to incorporate Rio's thoughts while keeping it centered around Cinder

Mr. Clean

Yeah nuanced ending was actually an interesting approach and being kinda Vauge leaves the door open for a follow up or Rio's side of story

Briar patch

Would love to see more of riolu if you make a continuation

Jordan Lane

You make a good story certainly I'm very interested in bug bite right now the mystery of the rabid Pokรฉmon why the scientist is acting so nice but also strange to Andre and of course the sex at the end of the day it's your comic and you should do what you want with it if you want to create more of a story you should but of course you need to balance it with the sex being your primary art income

Xbeast 543

i sayed it once and i say it agin I was reading bug bite BECAUSE of the story not decpite of it. if anything the porn was just toping for me.

Julian Hinck

I don't think you should he afraid of adding more if you feel like you need to add more, after a certain point I was getting pretty invested in what would happen next and was awaiting the next post. As for the last point, I think you have already partially succeeded in doing more then making just porn. I know many, myself included, were drawn in by the story of bug bite and not just the hot sex scenes. Can you improve? Definitely, but I think the blend between solid story and porn has worked well this last one just could've just been developed a bit more, sometimes to tell a proper story you need to allow yourself a bit more time to make sure every element comes across properly.

DJ Wolf

I like about you is that you can see accepting and using it as a learning and opportunity to see improvement in the next story. So hope you the best and thanks for giving us this stories (Like Bug bite, and Rock Bottom) hope to see your next comic story soon or later.

AD(Andres)

I'm glad you enjoyed the criticism, and hope you can use it to grow as a writer and creator. Also I'm glad to hear you planned on a continuation. Even with the flaws in Rock Bottom's execution, you should take pride in making characters that people want to see more of. I look forward to seeing what you make going forward.

Sammie-Bold

I liked the ending~ It was bitter(sweet), but I, myself thought it was a nice change from the "norm". The ending was still full of hope: hope that pushed through any amount of tears shed~!

Overlorddarkrai


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