Chapter 252 rewrite?
Added 2025-05-20 02:04:49 +0000 UTCI got a message about how the current setup feels very forced for 251/252. I’m feeling a bit the same, though it’s partially intentional to get through the rest of the arc a bit quicker. This poll is to figure out how y’all feel about it, and if I should change anything.
1. If I should Continue. This arc will be done in the next 4-5 chapters. Nothing changes.
2. If I should Change stuff, this arc will stretch out a bit longer, but will hopefully feel a bit less forced. I’ll rewrite the end of 251 and completely retcon 252. I’ll stay up a bit later the next week to try and catch buck up to schedule.
I don’t really mind either way. It’s a hundred percent up to you guys.
Comments
Kinda feel like she should have just hid in a closet somewhere, maybe im just not understanding the scale of the frequently referenced incoming bombardment.
Gardor
2025-06-28 05:27:22 +0000 UTCIt felt quite natural to me. The only thing that felt contrived was that Shiro got discovered because she didn't switch her phone off.
llenay
2025-05-20 21:16:18 +0000 UTCWell, you could argue that she is only there because of anti plot armor. For example, why split up with the Valkyrie. I suppose it’s all in the presentation and delivery. A longer chapter would explain more about the decision making. A more vivid description of the things the plant cult did in the exclusion zone would create more tension. It’s kinda against genre to have that much description but eh I like it. (One of my favorite books in Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell.)
Mark Robert Mitchell
2025-05-20 02:54:14 +0000 UTCI really like how 251-252 felt because it showed what a presence Mother has become. It reminds me of a fly stuck struggling in a spiders web and really emphasizes the power difference. However something small that I think could really add to the story would be to more clearly showing how injured Shiro is with a sentence or two in 251 or 252. Like Shiro has racked up a concussion, broken ankle, a mutilated shoulder, damaged leg muscles, an uncountable number of scrapes/bruises, and extreme blood loss. A little sentence or two about how muddled her thoughts are and how her body is starting to not respond to her correctly could really go a long way. I really like how they read right now though so I think you should keep going. :)
GlassStone
2025-05-20 02:51:21 +0000 UTCHaven't read since 249 so i say do whatever you want. Burn it all down and start fresh!
Gardor
2025-05-20 02:19:32 +0000 UTCIt's just hard to see a character with no way out facing impossible odds. I'm fine leaving it as is because we know she'll eventually escape/succeed but whether or not she survives by plot armor or if she's given the agency to save herself makes or breaks this arc for me.
chris salinas
2025-05-20 02:19:10 +0000 UTCI honestly just want this arc over with at this point
Sam Stanfield
2025-05-20 02:06:47 +0000 UTCidk, felt fine to me. This felt likely for a few chapters already.
Blah64
2025-05-20 02:06:44 +0000 UTC
