Question for "A Lesson in Transience" readers!
Added 2023-07-23 17:37:36 +0000 UTCAre you enjoying the story? I recently received feedback from someone who, in summary, said the following:
---
-Chris isn't compelling because he spends the whole story lamenting his transience and the fact he's turning into a woman. Because of this, he's one-dimensional.
-Gretchen is a one-dimensional character because she's magically this perfect girl who supports Chris despite the fact readers haven't been given a good reason for Gretchen to like Chris so much.
---
My thought is that this story is supposed to be a slow burn that heavily delves into the internal trauma and conflict of a cis-man who suddenly finds out his life will be irreparably changed in under a week. He's spend a lot of the story so far lamenting his fate, but, only a few days have passed, so he's only had a few days to process his grief and confusion.
Chris was/is consumed by these thoughts because he just went through a massive life upheaval and feels like he has no autonomy.
Gretchen's story with Chris and why the three friends are close will get fleshed out as well.
What do you guys think? Does the reviewer have a point? Am I approaching the story wrong? I want to strive to better myself and correct any mistakes I might be making. Input from those who read the story would be helpful; I'm interested in knowing what about this story people connect with.
Please comment or DM me if you can! Thank you!
Comments
Thank you! I am actually going to start heavily exploring the "reclaimed youth" angle next chapter so I think you'll be pleased. The worst of her actual lamentations are over and she will start feeling the benefits of her new body more intensely.
Rory Rouses
2023-07-25 05:24:06 +0000 UTCI like that there is a lot of attention paid to Chris's internal thoughts on his transformation. I would say it's expected that he would "lament" it at first, but I hope he finds things to like about it later. I do think it would be nice to get a bit more exploration on his thoughts about becoming years younger, and how that will affect his relationships, job etc.
2023-07-25 04:50:58 +0000 UTCIt’s really good story. I enjoy reading
Anomalous52
2023-07-23 22:55:28 +0000 UTC
