How Did This Costume Ever Fit?

Vanish's Diary: Day 1

Finally worked up the courage to break out the old Vanish costume. I don't think I've even taken it out of storage since Kailey was born.

To my utter shock and amazement, it no longer fits! Who could have predicted such a thing? Having a kid takes a toll on the hips. Gaining twenty pounds probably doesn't help either. (Okay, maybe thirty pounds.) I can't believe I was ever this skinny. Ah, the good ol' days...

Dr. Miraculous created the Vanish costume for me way back in 1994. The fabric is constructed out of unstable molecules and designed to turn invisible whenever I activate my powers. This allows my costume to vanish when I do, and to reappear when I return to visibility. Unfortunately, Dr. Miraculous was murdered in 2004, and there's no one left who knows how to operate most of the elaborate scientific equipment that he designed. Tailoring a costume made from unstable molecules is now basically impossible.

So, here is my dilemma...

If Vanish is going to make a comeback, I'm going to have to get back into shape! I've been telling myself I need to do that anyway for the last twenty years, but maybe this time I can make it work. With Kailey off to college and Dan always away on business trips, it's not like I have anything better to do these days. This time I am dropping the weight for good and getting my flabby ass back into that costume!

Or I could always just fight in the nude (which I've had to do before, but somehow that always seems to end with me humiliating myself in public). Let's call that Plan B, or maybe Plan E or F.

Suddenly, I want ice cream. Committed myself to a diet for all of 5 minutes and I'm already starving just thinking about it.

Ugh... This is going to be a lot of work.