068. callbacks, crochet & staying in the (hurtful) moment
Added 2022-07-08 18:20:56 +0000 UTCHello my dear bluebells!! Happy happy Friday~ I hope you enjoy this episode! I chat quite a bit about how I've been practicing mindfulness, some about some ~acting things~ that have been happening recently, and also some crochet projects I'm excited about >:) Here are the links I mentioned!!!
- Thich Naht Hanh on staying in the present moment, even when it hurts (watching him talk is unreal, I have never ever seen a person so not in a hurry be in such command of the room, it's incredible)
- that Garden Party Shawl pattern I mentioned
- this is the tank top pattern that I bought all that hand-dyed yarn for (and this is the yarn that I really wanted, but there weren't enough skeins of the sport weight >o<)
- and this is the new set of Tunisian crochet hooks I bought!! I got the Rain colorway hehehe
Oh, and here is a pic of the shawl that I've (almost) finished for my mom!! I used the Schjeepies Stone Washed XL in Rose Quartz! It shows up as such a delicate pink on the website but this is a bright like cherry blossom pink lmao. And here is the pattern I followed :o)
Like I said, just gotta finish adding the fringe! The original pattern doesn't include fringe but my mom requested it so uwu
Okay that's all from me!! Happy Friday, love you lots xx
Comments
Absurdly late comment lol, but I just became a patron and have been listening to the amazing backlog of podcasts. ON the concept of mindfulness - I think in a lot of situations it's super useful and important to be aware of the present moment and the world around you. But I also think there are sometimes situations where people don't have the mental or emotional or medical resources to be in the present moment or be aware of what's happening around them because they're drowning. (TW; mental health stuff, mentions of s*icidality and queerphobia) Like as someone with an undiagnosed untreated severe mental illness and possible neurodivergency, who lives in a transphobic/homophobic house/country with the emotional abuser who raised me, and who regularly struggles with s**cidality, and who has absolutely no friends or supportive family, escapism and dissociation are basically the only coping mechanisms I have. I've tried gaining access to the healthcare I desperately need, but it just isn't possible. And I've tried developing things like mindfulness on my own, and all that happened is that I violently burned out and was unable to keep it up because confronting emotional suffering when you're in unsafe situation with no psychological support is basically impossible, especially when your brain is devoting 90% of its energy to trying to survive a mental illness entirely on it's own. In the past I've tried to keep up with the news and enrich my own political education, but it really only worsened my already pretty dire mental state and drove me to worse s**cidal thoughts and planning. And at some point I just had to realise that I actually have to be alive to help make the world a better place, so for now I can't really focus too much on what's happening in the news because it makes it almost impossible to continue choosing to be alive. I do stick my head in the sand, because my brain is on fire lol. I understand the privilage of being able to do that, but it also comes from a place of genuine overwhelm and a relative lack of privilage as well. I've tried to force myself to read the news but it always always always ends in the same very bad place, so I genuinely just had to stop. I hate it too but I don't really know what other choices I have. TLDR is; most of the time escapism and having a lack of awareness of the world around you is shitty and selfish and should be avoided, but sometimes it really is the only coping mechanism you have when you have literally no other way of dealing with the traumatic things that have happened to you and that are still happening and it can help you continue to stay alive to the point in time where you can actually handle confronting the present moment . Didn't mean to broach such heavy topics but I thought it worth saying, as a different side to the issue you brought up, but also people who might be scrolling back and listening to past podcasts as well.
The Cats Meow
2023-05-02 11:04:47 +0000 UTCwow i experienced the same exact issues as a teen—thank you for sharing this. i feel so seen and understood.
Caroline Baldwin
2022-07-17 20:21:06 +0000 UTChope you get the part you want!! break a leg <3
Finlay
2022-07-09 00:39:09 +0000 UTC
