This Week in the Markets: A Party on Wall Street and Bitcoin Grandmas

Good morning, my fellow stock market junkies. Hope you are having a great weekend.

It’s Tom Nash, and if you haven’t been paying attention this week, congratulations, you’re probably happier than the rest of the people on social media, obsessing over charts, crypto, and the Fed.

Let me break it down for you in a way even cousin Dima could understand.

Spoiler: The markets were on fire, Bitcoin went full beast mode, and some stocks decided to embarrass themselves at the family dinner table. Let’s dive in.

S&P 500: Hitting Records Like It’s a Video Game

The S&P 500 hit another all time high this week, closing at 6,090. That’s a +1% gain for the week.

The Nasdaq said, “Hold my beer” and surged +3.34%, breaking records of its own. Meanwhile, the Dow? Yeah, it was the friend who forgot their wallet, dropping -0.3% thanks to clunkers like Nvidia and Chevron.

For context: The S&P 500 is up nearly 28.5% for the year. That’s like eating a cheat meal every day and still losing weight...

Jobs Report: Strong Enough to Party, Weak Enough for the Fed to Chill

November’s job numbers came in hot, 227,000 added jobs, blowing past the 211,000 forecast. Unemployment ticked up to 4.2%, but that’s just enough for the Fed to say, “We might cut rates again.” And let’s be real, nothing gets Wall Street more excited than free money.

Fed whispers are saying there’s an 85% chance of a December rate cut. Translation: The Fed’s basically throwing a holiday party for the stock market, and everyone’s invited.

Bitcoin: $100,000

Okay, let’s talk about the elephant, or should I say bull, in the room. Bitcoin didn’t just cross $100,000 this week; it smashed through it like a wrecking ball. As of Friday, it’s chilling at $101,246.

Now, before you sell your kidneys to buy some, let’s keep it real. Bitcoin’s a wild beast. One minute it’s making you rich, the next it’s ghosting you like a bad Tinder date. But for now, crypto’s the hottest party in town, and even your grandma is probably Googling “How to buy Bitcoin.”

Big Winners: Lululemon and DocuSign

Lululemon (+15.9%) said, “Who needs a recession when people are still buying $100 yoga pants?” DocuSign (+27.9%) reminded us that signing stuff online is still a big deal in 2024 for some reason...

Big Losers: Boeing and Friends

Not everyone’s crushing it, though. Let me introduce you to the Hall of Shame—the worst-performing S&P 500 stocks of 2024:

• Walgreens (-66.7%) – If you’re still holding this, I don’t know what to tell you.

• Intel (-58.4%) – From chips to chumps.

• Boeing (-39.6%) – Seriously, why are you still here?

If these were party guests, they’d be the ones who spill wine on your carpet and blame it on Grandpa.

AI and the Mag7: The Favorite Kids

AI is the golden ticket right now, and the “Magnificent Seven” (Apple, Amazon, Meta, Microsoft, Nvidia, Tesla, and Alphabet) are spending $500 billion on it this year. That’s more than the U.S. defense budget.

Here’s the kicker: All this spending doesn’t guarantee profits. Either AI takes off and competition kills margins, or it flops and they write it all off. But hey, let’s not ruin the vibe.

The Fed’s “Zone of Hesitation”

Tom Lee says we’re heading into a “zone of hesitation” with key data coming up:

• Dec. 11: CPI report (let’s hope it’s not a scorcher).

• Dec. 18: Fed meeting (place your bets on rate cuts).

If the market wobbles, don’t freak out. Instead, channel your inner Warren Buffett and DCA into the afterlife.

Grandpa's Thoughts

2024 has been a blockbuster year, but let’s not get cocky. Valuations are sky high, risks are real, and bubbles don’t announce themselves with a polite email.

For now, the strategy is simple:

• Stay the course.

• DCA at all times, slow down on the way up and speed up on the way down.

• Don’t let short term noise mess with your long term plans.

That’s it, folks. Until next week, stay smart, stay sassy, and remember: the stock market rewards patience, not panic.

Tom and Grandpa, out.