monthly blog post: october π
Added 2024-11-04 03:20:04 +0000 UTCAND JUST LIKE THAT OCTOBER IS GONE
idk bout yall but i feel like this month went by SO FAST, i blinked and its already november
lets get right into it :)
october favorites
book: i didnt read shit this month except for song of achilles oop
skincare product: been using this on and off for awhile but im back on it (Manyo Pure Cleansing Oil Deep Clean) and i love it for removing my makeup but also using it to help message my face in the morning :D
body care: Milbon Moisture Replenishing Shampoo - AHHHHHHH this leaves my hair SO SOFT AND HYDRATED i am very happy with this product
makeup product: Banila Co Sheer Velvet Veil Tint-pk01 Ballerina - you already know LOL ur girl has been wearing this every day on stream since i got back from korea
snack: fav snack this month was John Masayoshi Cable (not available in stores)
song: you're gonna go far by noah kahan - yall. this song. makes me. want to cry. i morn and miss washington and this song just hits a little too hard
ββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββββ
october thoughts:
as im sure some of you know by now, i am going through it :(
i think its just a perfect storm
i am gonna be pretty vulnerable here so i am going to just ask for your consideration in privary :')
went to the gyno and found out i have endometriosis so thats super poggers
got my allergy test back and im allergic / 'sensitive' (wont know if im truly allergic without elimination diet) to goat and cow dairy, strawberries, cocounut, peanut, hazelnut, halibut + HIGHLY allergic to many trees and types of grass + cats/dogs/horses/rabbits. they recommended getting immunotherapy shots so prob gonna do that soon merp
ive talked bout this a little but my gma has schizophrenia and is bipolar and she is currently going through a manic episode. this isnt new but she has been well for awhile but so its just sad to see her regress and not take her meds :/ she just got hospitalized bc she was a danger to herself and threatening others so its overall just a really sad thing
my mom has been having her own health issues and it breaks my heart to not be home
otv has been taking a lot of my energy lately which then translates to less streams from me which kills me like i genuinely have so much guilt bc i am the least consistent streamer ever and i just wish that i could isolate my energy so i can show up and stream
so i am always trying trying trying to set boundaries and figure out what is giving me energy and what is taking it away while simultaneously trying to fulfill all the responsibilities i have
i am so grateful for my job and my friends and the opportunities i have and it makes me so sad that i feel so incapable :( GRRRRRRRR
ok that was A LOT OF NEGATIVE
let me think on some happy things to share
john and i have been hanging out every thursday and that truly brings me so much joy. i am so happy that he is my best friend and also my significant other
ive been driving a lot lately and that also brings me a lot of joy. i put on playlists that i listened to when i lived in washington and i pretend that im still there, heading down the freeway and about to take the exit that will lead me home.
it rained recently and i cried in my car because the sound of rain on the windshield made me yearn for home but in a good way
this patreon has also brought me a lot of comfort ;-; i feel unworthy and undeserving of such a community. i am always blown away by the empathy, kindness, AND humor that you all have :')
welp, goodbye october i shall not miss you HAHA
i am excited for the holiday season <3
i miss my cats
see ya!
Comments
it has been so hard watching my immediate family grow older in recent years. like while I am planning and excited for what the future brings, seeing my family get older, less able-bodied, and struggle with their physical health - it makes the future feel more daunting rather than exciting. I feel all of that while living with my family. i truly can not imagine the anguish you must be experiencing to be so far away from home and your loved ones. thank you for sharing something so personal, but please don't hesitate to do what is best for you and your family. take all the time you need and I am so happy that this patreon is helping you bring comfort during a difficult time. ππ₯Ή I hope the rest of the year is a bit easier on you
Chibimonkie
2024-11-15 04:24:30 +0000 UTCI can empathize so much living with family members that struggle with mental health issues; especially living apart from them for work. I just hope that your grandma is able to find an environment where she can pass through her episode in relative peace and safety. Hopefully she'll be able to lucid and you'll be able to speak to her and encourage her to stay on her medication so you'll be able to spend more time together, even if it's just through a phone call or a facetime. Also, I truly believe that you are no help to anyone if you yourself are not in balance with yourself. Prioritizing your health and long-term happiness both mentally and physically is putting in the work to be present and available for the people you love around you. Don't worry too much about being there for anyone except yourself right now Jodi. We all go through periods in our lives where we take support and care from others around us to help us get through struggles and hurdles. But it is truly what allows us to be more empathetic humans as we then in turn become the supporters and givers and return the good energy that's been given to us. So rather than expend energy unnecessarily on guilt or self inflicted shame for not streaming, re-focus that energy onto yourself. It's hard, we are sooo prone to blaming ourselves first when things stop going smoothly, but in truth it's when we need to perform the most extraordinary empathy on ourselves. Be well Jodi <3
Honestfictionist
2024-11-06 21:19:43 +0000 UTCIβm late to the empathy party, so Iβll just say this: none of us would be here in this community without your effort and authenticity. We choose to be here because we recognize and appreciate your effort. I know that it doesnβt alleviate the feelings of guilt; I hope that one more person saying it helps turn it into an affirmation! π₯° Maaaajor warm fuzzies your way for the health challenges with you and yours are experiencing right now. All of that is so difficult to deal with all at once. Recreating environments that feel safe and comforting makes total sense right now. I highly encourage!! π πΌ
Jesscuh
2024-11-05 02:27:27 +0000 UTCyou know, I've also been going through it and I feel you so hard on so many things, the lack of consistensy, energy and all that jazz. trying to figure out what works, what brings happiness what I can change and so on... and it's just so hard, but we're doing it and that what counts honestly all of that is why I really gravitate to you and this community in general (even if I'm not super active, bc of the aforementioned lack of energy) <3
Allie
2024-11-04 22:15:08 +0000 UTCAww Jodi, i'm sorry to hear that you didn't have the best month :( As a fellow endometriosis girlie, I feel you. But just know that you're not alone. Heat packs, tummy massages and TENS machines will be your best friend! You got this and I'm really glad you made a patreon because you have a whole community that loves you and will support you through all of it! Hoping that Nov is a better month for you <3
Carmen
2024-11-04 21:59:41 +0000 UTCAh man, that sounds really rough. It's a whole ton of things to manage at the same time. You know it's a tough month when *crying* makes it into the positives lolll. You've managed to surround yourself with some amazing people to help you get through this, and you will :) . You know, if you need to take a week off streaming to travel to Washington in order to replenish and heal yourself (mentally), you should do it. Or stream just chatting while you're up there if you feel guilty idk. Surely you can do lots of OTV stuff away from the house for a week with a bit of planning..? Something good is defs coming your way to compensate for all this bs :p (COPIUM)
Matt - ACB
2024-11-04 16:49:19 +0000 UTCPraying it gets better for you Jodi, car songs and driving helps me a lot too these days, and taking it at your pace and for you is the most important
Jacob L
2024-11-04 16:43:42 +0000 UTComg babe iβm so sorry. I hope november treats you so much better π«ΆπΌπ©· i hope ur gma and mom get better soon, im glad u have a good support system in john and with your friends π©·π©· i would say to not feel guilty about the streams but idk how much just saying it would help, we love you and are always wishing the best for youπ©·π©· pls take care of yourself and i hope u understand u donβt need to feel like u owe us anything !! weβre here to support u whenever and we understand when times are tough and u need a break or streaming is a little harder to doπ«ΆπΌ these last few months in 2024 will hopefully be a lot better π©·π©·
halfwitkat
2024-11-04 09:27:34 +0000 UTCI'm sorry to hear about the health issues π I also received some news and cried a lot about it but I'm glad I found out at least so I'm not left wondering what is wrong. It sounds like a heavy month but I'm happy to see you had plenty of lovely, happy things to reflect on too! I should practice gratitude more often as well π₯Ή
Ari π
2024-11-04 09:18:59 +0000 UTCit was a rare cloudy day in vegas and the shade made mii ache for home too. i had forgotten the melancholic comfort of cloudz, but these momentz bring lessonz yanno β there'z alwayz l!ght following stormz after all. if wii stΓ¦yyy hopeful, stability shall come (: day by day, slow n steady, && wΓ¦vyyy like water πβ¨
π»πππππ
2024-11-04 08:43:14 +0000 UTC
