Give Thanks to the Straw Hat Captain

Give Thanks to the Straw Hat Captain

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The child Momonosuke entered the banquet hall with his eyes closed in solemn contemplation.

He was awake with a clear focus and a bit of mental strain concerning the plight of his forefathers. With respect to their traditions, he was to set about preparing a feast for his retainers and his people this day with quick haste.

He didn’t want things to be out of place or off-balance in any way. He needed things to be perfect… which is why he found himself gasping in horror at the sight that fell before him upon entering the room.

The plates the chef had meticulously laid out for all to indulge in that evening were all being devoured by the pirate at the head of the table with no manners and no bottom for his stomach, Monkey D. Luffy!

“LUFFY!” Momo screamed, stomping up to Luffy from the side, giving him a glare and a pout. The glare wouldn’t have scared him anyway but the pout just made him look cute.

Luffy’s gaze shifted towards his little brother at heart and he found himself saying hello.

“HEYVMOMOFF!” He spewed food crumbs in the young lad’s face.

Momonosuke shrinked back with his eyes closed and then wiped down his disgruntled mug, clearly not amused and a little less happy to see him considering the circumstances.

“Luffy! What are you doing here?” Momo asked, trying hard not to sound too exasperated.

Luffy shrugged and glanced around the room. “Oh you know, I was sailing and I saw Wano in the distance so I stopped by to visit.”

“You smelled the food and stopped by to eat,” Momonosuke corrected.

“Same thing,” Luffy responded.

Momo sighed and facepalmed. “No, listen, this isn’t just any spread of food. It’s a celebration we do every year where the Kozuki family and their retainers come together to eat and be thankful for the prosperity that they’ve aspired to keeping amongst the land. Well, it’s not just a tradition for us. The people do it as well and we accommodate them too with handouts and special–”

“Oh, so it’s like Thanksgiving,” Luffy said, perking up.

“What’s Thanksgiving?”

“...” Luffy stopped and thought about it. “... Well, I thought I knew what I was talking about but I guess not.”

“Ugh! The point is that food isn’t for you! So please stop eating it!” Momo reached over and snatched the leg of meat off Luffy’s plate.

“Hey!” Luffy snapped, turning to face the young boy. “I come to visit and this is the thanks I get!”

“No one ASKED you to visit! Also, visiting isn’t something people should be thanking you for! You only get like this when it comes to food for some reason, you big dumb ape!” Momonosuke screamed in Luffy’s face.

The two of them pressed their noses together, growling with sudden disdain before Luffy finally took notice of something.

“Wait… why are you small again?” Luffy asked.

“You just noticed?!” Momo groaned. He slapped his cheeks to clear away the frustration before explaining. “It’s a bit of a side-effect of my artificial devil fruit. I can control when I turn into a dragon now but sometimes I cancel out Shinobu’s ripe-ripe fruit and return to this body by accident. I’m still working out how I can fix it so I can go to and from whenever I please. People need to be able to see me as a full-fledge Shogun of Wano all the ti–AAAAIEEE!”

As he was talking, Luffy sprung his hand around behind Momo and reached under his kimono. He grabbed a tasteful amount of the back of his underwear and yanked the cherry blossom briefs he had on up into a powerful wedgie that suspended him above the ground.

“So you’re saying that powerful body of yours isn’t keeping you safe from my ultra rubber wedgie. Remember when I used to give you these on the ship?” Luffy grinned.

Momonosuke dangled in the painful wedgie, slowly turning like a Christmas ornament and tearing up with his mouth opening and closing repeatedly. Each time he did no sound came out. It was like he was gasping for air.

When he finally managed to get something out it was basically just a high pitch squeak and then him going “Owwwwwww…”

Luffy began giggling like a school girl before twirling Momo around like a yo-yo by the waistband of his undies.

“Sorry Momo, but you’re not standing in between me and my food. Maybe one day you’ll be able to give me a challenge but definitely not with that body!” Luffy laughed.

“WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! WHOAAAAHHHHGH!” Momonosuke cried as he was spun around and around on just one of Luffy’s fingers. His tears and snot were going every which way until finally, the pirate launched him off his finger and sent him across the room, right out of his Kimono.

Momo screamed as he flew directly into the butt of the roasted pig on the table and began kicking his legs about. Luffy merely pointed and laughed at him.

Eventually, Momo had to shimmy his butt back and forth and press his feet against the table to really yank himself loose. Once he did he fell butt first onto the steaming hot mashed potatoes and screamed to high Heaven as he bolted up, rubbing his buns down.

As he ran around in circles on the floor, Luffy laughed and pointed at him, finding himself enjoying his dinner and the show. It was miraculous.

Momo eventually ran out of the room, grabbing a towel from the bathroom was he made it there and rubbed his bottom down. He then growled into the mirror while clamping his fingers onto the sink.

“Ooooh Luffy, you just poked a bear~!”

If he thought he was going to just roll over and take it, he had another thing coming!

—

A little while later, Luffy was still sitting and enjoying the meal Momo had prepared for… well, not for him but it might as well have been for him at this point.

Luffy licked his lips when he held up an entire plate of meat on the bone, ready to down it for consumption. However, when he clamped down his teeth, he ended up biting into his hands instead!

“YEEOOOOW!” Luffy screamed and opened his teary eyes only to see his hands throbbing red from the intense nature of his over-the-top bite. “My fingers don’t taste good…”

He then got pouty and angry when he heard giggling in the middle distance. Leering ahead, he didn’t see anyone and thus remained confused.

He didn’t like that the huge plate of meat suddenly disappeared but there was still one on a different plate in front of him!

Luffy rubbed his hands together, licked his lips while spritzing drool everywhere, and attempted to grab it.

Instead, the hunk of meat seemed to slide towards the edge of the table and fall off of it. Luffy was flabbergasted and really angry.

“Hey! Whatever meat you were you’re dead so stop running and GET IN MY BELLY!” Luffy shouted, stretching his hands down to grab the meat but it snapped off to the side. Luffy got really impatient that time and just decided to dive full force at the meat.

He smashed his face on the floor and scrunched up like an accordion when the meat reeled off once again.

The enraged pirate captain lifted his red face and snarled like a rabid dog. This meat wasn’t escaping him.

He tried to hop and bounce on top of it but couldn’t. It kept zig-zagging in a manner that was hard to read.

Why was the meat moving and where did that other plate go? Well, the answer was standing by the doorway, holding a fishing rod in one hand and a huge chunk of meat on the bone in the other.

“Come on Luffy, you’ve gotta be quicker than that,” Momo snickered while munching on the delicious food. He was technically breaking his own rule here but it was a spread made for him too. The main point was that it wasn’t Luffy’s to take.

Eventually, Momo had his fill of watching Luffy bounce around the room like Frogger to try and get his meat back. So, he decided to reel it in.

When he did, the plate slid in between Luffy’s legs, making him tumble over to poke his head in between them as well.

He was a bit too slow in doing this because when he caught sight of Momo at the far end of the room the hook from the fishing rod was already slung again, this time grabbing the waistband poking out of Luffy’s pants.

“Are you wearing briefs with a pink elastic?” Momo gasped, delighting in the color. He wondered what other features his underwear had. “Time I got a closer look!”

“Momo! What are you do-EEEEEEK!” Momo reeled Luffy’s underwear in now and Luffy screeched with pain as it was stretched out!

Luffy’s eyes crossed and he went teary eyed as the undies he had on were stretched out into a powerful fishing wedgie. Luffy clawed at the ground to keep from being reeled in but yelped when that wasn’t enough.

The idiot was made to slide across the carpet, back on the table, and over it.

“OW! OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!” Luffy repeated over and over again as his face and chin smacked against all the silverware and remaining food.

Everything was getting knocked over and ruined but Momo was past the point of caring. How could he when he was currently witnessing Luffy getting a wedgie because of him and catching sight of the–!

“My Little Pony briefs?!” Momonosuke gasped, mixing his surprise and amusement into one delightful chortle.

Luffy was already teary eyed and in a searing pain but when Momo’s words bruised his ego, Luffy attempted to stop this post haste.

“It’s just underwear! Shut up! YOU’RE lame, not me!” Luffy cried, grabbing at his pants and attempting to plant his feet down.

Suddenly, Momonosuke was feeling resistance. He couldn’t have that and thus yanked the rod up and down to snap Luffy’s butt upward and then made his crotch smash down onto a hot, sizzling steak!

“AAAAAAAH! MY CROTCH!” Luffy screamed. He tried to keep his hands gripping his pants though. Thanks to that and Momonosuke’s rapid yanks, Luffy was free!

That’s right, Momo reeled down Luffy’s underwear and pants!

Luffy was shot forward a bit when the resistance snapped and he was flung into the seat at the head of the table.

Luffy’s naked lower end was sticking up while Momonosuke laughed in the distance, holding up Luffy’s shorts and MLP briefs.

“Glorious! Truly magnificent taste in underwear Luffy!” He laughed at him so hard.

Luffy began kicking his legs back and forth before he toppled the chair over and landed on his exposed butt.

Luffy sat there, eyes rolling and birdies chirping around his head for a second. He then shook his head and looked back.

Standing up, he planted a foot on the table and pointed at Momonosuke. “You’re REALLY going to pay for that, jerk!”

“Oh am I? I don’t think you’re in too high a position of authority to make that call. Only I can and I decree babies who can’t control themselves and have little micro-dicks oughta be spanked and diapered.”

Luffy raised a brow, unsure of why he brought up micro-dicks when he blushed and glanced down at himself.

He began sweating and hurriedly grabbed one of the empty plates before holding it over his crotch.

“Th-That’s a stupid rule!” Luffy tried for an insult but it was a half-naked boy versus the word of a fully-clothed one.

“You only think it’s stupid because you know I was talking about you,” Momo snickered. “I intend to keep my promise though. I’ve got a diaper waiting for you in my satchel.”

“I’m NOT wearing a stupid diaper!” Luffy stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry at Momonosuke, face getting redder and redder by the second.

“Oh you are. In a couple of minutes you will be,” Momonosuke spoke with such intense confidence, it sent a shiver down Luffy’s spine. It was almost as if he was reading the future?

“No… that’s dumb! That’s impossible! You suck!” Luffy snarled, gripping the plate covering his junk tighter.

“I bet you’re the type to show off your balls to everyone but will hide them for fear of finding out if little kids are more endowed than you,” Momonosuke said, leaning forward a tiny bit.

“I said–!” Luffy reeled his free fist back. “SHUT. UUUUUP!”

Luffy fired a fist at Momo. He retaliated by holding up a plate. The first bounced off the silverware, hit the ceiling, then smashed Luffy in the face instead.

He was knocked flat on his back, spread-eagle and eyes rolling around like crazy. His tongue was out and the birdies were back. It was an amazing sight.

Momo whistled a happy tune to himself as he came over to Luffy.

“Hey… is that a flag of surrender?” He asked Luffy, pointing to his wee-wee as it stood at attention. “Or maybe you just like getting hit? HAHA!”

Luffy could only sputter his tongue up and down like an idiot as his eyes continued to roll. The stupid, dopey smile on his face was wonderful.

Momo rubbed his hands together and allowed his grin to go even wider than it had before. He was going to really enjoy this.

Without any hesitation, he grabbed Luffy’s legs and hoisted them up. He then unfolded a diaper with Dora the Explorer prints and laid it under Luffy’s butt.

“If I had known you liked ponies, I’d have gotten you one like that,” Momo said. He was lucky he found this diaper though, honestly. It was a little something he got when he wished to play a prank on Luffy back when they were riding on the ship but circumstances never saw him having the time to do it.

The fact that this was back when he was a coward who couldn’t stand up for himself also factored into things.

He wasn’t that little boy anymore though. He felt the roles had been truly reversed now that he was currently powdering Luffy’s front.

After allowing his legs to drop onto the diaper he folded it up and patted his front with a cheesy smirk of delight.

“Now you’re truly dressed the way you behave. Be grateful,” Momonosuke said this while yanking Luffy’s top half up. He still seemed really dizzy and stupid but the way his eyes were blinking seemed to indicate that he was returning to normal.

Momo wasn’t ready for that to happen yet.

He quickly grabbed Luffy’s hand and curled it into a fist. Then, using all the might he had, he began flinging said fist into Luffy’s face repeatedly.

Luffy made the goofiest, weirdest, cross-eyed looks Momo had ever seen. It was so funny. He was having so much fun now.

“Luffy, WHY are you hitting yourself? Are you stupid or something?” He asked, knowing he couldn’t respond.

Maybe Luffy was right. He should be thankful he came to visit.

Eventually, when Momo saw Luffy’s eyes roll up and the whites of them appear, he realized he’d well and truly been knocked completely unconscious.

Letting the pirate captain go saw his limp, noodle-like body flopping to the floor, spread out once again.

“That… was a lot of fun,” Momo sounded invigorated.

He scanned Luffy’s demolished body and then smiled.

“I am Kozuki Momonosuke… and you are my little brother,” Momo snickered, rubbing his hands together. That evil look of deviousness he was wearing had to have been the equivalent to a bad omen.

—

Luffy groaned as his eyes fluttered open. He seemed confused and felt his eyes cross and un-cross multiple times before he could collect himself.

It wasn’t until he heard the sounds of people laughing that he woke up fully.

His eyes suddenly got really big and he tried to speak. However, all that came from his mouth were muffled noises.

He looked down and gasped with horror and humiliation at seeing a baby blue pacifier strapped around his face. He couldn’t spit it out!

He glanced even more down once he noticed the fluffiness around his waist and saw the diaper staring back at him!

What was going on?!

“Oh! You’re awake!”

That voice belonged to Momo.

Luffy looked up and saw what had to be an even bigger, more delicious spread of food in front of him.

He wasn’t able to reach over and grab it though. His arms and legs were bound to the wall with seastone cuffs. They were sapping his strength and keeping him woozy beyond belief.

That wasn’t the worst of it though. The really bad part was seeing everyone at the table looking back at him.

The Akazaya Nine, Momonosuke, Otoko, and even Otama were all sat around the table, eating to their heart's content.

“We finally got to have our feast,” Momo said.

“I heard you’ve indulged yourself already, Luffy-dono,” Kinemon grinned as he bit into a sparkling and pristine looking piece of meat on a bone. Raizo laughed at Kinemon’s comment. Denjiro merely chuckled under his breath and shook his head.

“That baby bonnet looks great on you big bro,” Otama said, holding up a mirror

Luffy’s eyes got even bigger when he saw himself.

He was strapped to the wall wearing nothing but a pacifier, a diaper, a baby bonnet, and a bib that read “Biggest Loser” on it.

He got mad and started to whine and squirm about. The show he was putting on for them was funny to all witnessing it.

Eventually, Luffy began to whimper and whine to himself. Luckily, he had that pacifier gag and was able to suckle on it for comfort while bawling anime tears of regret.

Luffy was left to stew in his failure while everyone else had a good time.

Momonosuke ate and swooned a bit at the taste.

For some reason, the food tasted even better knowing that it came with a side of satisfaction and revenge.