fanshawe . . . ( studies )

Lil freehand doodle done in about 30mins, based on my recollection of the front hallway back in my teenage home. 

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I had a rather melancholy sort of nostalgia dream about my hometown the other night that I'm not sure what prompted it, but gave me a very strong impression upon waking. I'm someone who has moved around a lot since moving out on my own (like, 6(??) apartments over the course of 10 years) As an adult, I've very much felt that "home" was wherever my partner and our pets were but I wasn't really emotionally attached to any of places we rented; they were just somewhere we lived, we knew that they were only temporary and they didn't feel like home to me. Our current house (that we actually own) is probably the first place I've lived as a grownup that feels significant and settled, and it's something I really missed. 

The house on Fanshawe where I spent my teenage years with my mom and siblings is still the place that feels most definitively like somewhere that was My Home. Everyone has since moved out and moved around and, logically, I know it's probably been changed a bunch by subsequent owners who I've never met. I know the house I lived in isn't there anymore but at the same time,  it feels like if I just showed up at the front door it would be this pocket in time to somewhere I remember very distinctly and very fondly. The house was home because of the building, but home was also the specific relationships I had with my family at the time and the feeling that we would take care of each other and things would be okay whatever happened.

This is a long write up for something I did as a messy warmup and is arguably not that good or interesting of a drawing, but it was spurred by a very strong emotion that I wanted to share alongside it. You can't avoid growing up and I am very happy/grateful for where I am right now as an adult, but sometimes I do wish I was back at that house with my other teenaged siblings, hanging out and doing chores in time for our mum to come home and we'd all have supper together.  

Just for an afternoon or a weekend every once and a while ♥