Vowron Prime

Announcement of some small changes

Added 2023-02-03 20:50:52 +0000 UTC

Hi everyone,

First off, thank you for becoming my first patrons. You can't know how happy it made me to see you all sign on.

'Good guy' had some great feedback after catching up to ch 38. Namely that the trip to Saran didn't have much in the way of progression. I agree with this feedback, and so I've incorporated his suggestions, and here's a quick summary:

29: When Vir & Maiya are accosted by pirates, Maiya now shows off her improved riding skills. She used to be bad at it, but now she actually changes Bumpy's speed during their pirate fight, which throws off the enemy pirate's aim and gives Vir the opening he needs to launch his chakram at their pursuer.

32: When they're attacked by the Saran city guard, Maiya now shoves guards who are about to attack Vir while he's throwing his chakrams, and swipes her katar at other guards to distract them. This allows them to create an opening to escape, and they work more as a team here.

33: This is the biggest change. When Vir's thrown into the jail cell after being beaten up by the jailors, he decides to experiment with activating Prana vision by taking control of his blood, to give them an edge when they escape (Prana Vision can be used to see prana signatures, so he could potentially detect enemies from a distance.) This originally happened in chapter 38.

In doing this experiment, he blacks out.

38: Vir now tries a second time to take control of his blood, but attempts to be more cautious about it. Instead of stopping his blood flow, he manually wills it up into his head... which has equally disastrous results, and he ends up blacking out again.

That's it for the changes. I've audited the other chapters for continuity, but if you get here and feel like I broke something somewhere, please do let me know!

Thanks again for the feedback, and to all my patrons - please do call out if you see areas you feel the story is weak. I can't promise that I'll make changes, but if I agree with your feedback and the changes are feasible, I'll happily incorporate.