31: Country Bumpkins

“Guess the makeup worked pretty well after all,” Vir admitted, guiding Bumpy through a set of double portcullis gates. The myriad of murder holes above them painted a grim picture for any poor soul that dared to enter unlawfully. “Can’t believe we just fooled the guards in a major city.”

“I know, right?” Maiya said, her voice breaking. “I seriously thought my heart would pop out. It was beating so fast!”

“R-riight,” Vir said, half-hearing what she’d said. His eyes had grown to the size of orbs the moment they’d entered Saran.

An array of streetlamps placed at regular intervals lit up the street with a warm amber glow. People darted every which way, clogging the road, forcing Vir to carefully thread Bumpy through the traffic. Traffic! Now there was a word he’d only ever heard and never experienced!

This is awful! He thought. Now he understood why everyone complained.

Women shouted. Men cursed. Children went around begging on the streets, while laughter erupted from a nearby building whose glass windows bursted with magical light. The smell of liquor wafted out from a nearby tavern. He saw a lady throw open a fourth-story window and yell down to someone on the street. Permeating it all was the briny scent of the cool ocean’s breeze, all bundled up with the pungency of urine and dung.

Vir’s senses overloaded as he tried to soak it all in while navigating Bumpy—who was as flustered as he was—but quickly discovered that unless he tuned everything out, he’d run someone over.

“Badrak’s Balls! Watch where yer going, boy!” A man snarled, slapping Bumpy’s snout. The beast sneezed and bucked, almost throwing Vir and Maiya off.

“Woah! Woah there, Bumpy! It’s okay, it’s okay.” He fought to wrestle the beast back under control, barely hanging on as the Ash’va juked and bucked.

“What a grakking chal!” Maiya exclaimed, hanging onto Vir for dear life. “Who does he think he is, treating Bumpy like that?”

“Uh,” Vir said sheepishly, “I did almost run him over.”

“Oh. W-well, it’s okay, Vir. Look at how busy it is! I’m sure everybody here runs over a person or two.”

I seriously doubt that, Maiya…

Vir’s eyes darted left and right, prowling for impending obstacles. “This is too much,” he said at last. “I can’t keep this up!”

Despite the ordeal, he couldn’t wipe the grin off of his face. They threaded through the main street, searching for the inn that Riyan had recommended to Maiya.

“Found it!” Maiya said moments later, pointing to a sign with a large rooster clutching a mug of ale.

Vir threaded Bumpy over to the inn. Not a moment after they’d arrived, a valet approached them, asking if he’d like to allow the inn to tend to Bumpy.

Vir’s response was an immediate, “Yes, please!”

Maiya burst into laughter.

“They should honestly require you to take a course or something to ride an Ash’va in a place like this,” he grumbled, happily handing over the ten copper fee to the valet.

“Um, ser?”

Both Vir and the stablehand turned to look at a filthy young girl, barefoot and dressed in rags. She looked like she hadn’t washed in a good while, and her ribs showed through her torn garment. He’d seen several others just like her on the way in.

“Begone, you!” The stablehand said, kicking the girl. She was too fast—she moved aside before he could hit her.

The valet was about to slap her, but Vir grabbed his wrist. “What are you doing?”

“Ser?” He replied, confused. “These urchins are a blight. Best be rid of them, or more of their ilk will inevitably show up.”

Vir shook his head. He said nothing. He knew all too well the plight of the poor. The harsh winters, barely survived. The endless pangs of hunger.

“What’s your name?” He asked in a gentle voice.

“A-Alda. Um, you’re kinda weird, aren’t you?”

“What?” Vir asked. That was hardly the reaction he’d expected.

“Nobody even talks to us. Even the ones that give us coin just do it so we’ll leave,” she said, looking down.

“I know what it’s like to—” Before he could continue, Maiya kicked his shin. Vir suddenly came to his senses.

I nearly blew our cover! Vir thought, glancing at the valet, who looked awfully uncomfortable with this entire exchange.

“I mean, I’ve heard the stories. Here,” he said, dropping ten coppers in her hands. “I hope this helps pay for your next meal.”

The girl’s eyes went as wide as an orb. She took the money and darted off, as if scared he’d want the coins back.

Vir turned back to the valet. “I trust you will show my steed the utmost respect?”

“Don’t worry, ser, we’ll take extra good care of your injured friend here.”

Vir raised a brow. “You could tell?”

“Oh, of course, sir. I understand that someone of your station would have several mounts, so I imagine you have an emotional attachment to this one.”

It shocked Vir that the stablehand had caught onto Bumpy’s deformity so immediately. It’d taken him hours of grooming the animal to catch onto that.

“City folk are just different,” he muttered as they approached the main entrance of the inn.

Maiya wasn’t supposed to hear that, but the girl had a knack for eavesdropping on anything even remotely related to cities and magic.

“See?” She said, gloating.

“Guess cities aren’t so bad after all,” Vir admitted.

They’d only just entered the inn, and he was already stunned silent. Dozens of Magic Lamps illuminated every nook and cranny. He couldn’t even spot a single one of the cheaper Magic Candle orbs. Never in his life had he seen such a display of wealth.

The building itself was no less impressive than the streets outside. Built of log construction and two stories tall, a great wooden chandelier adorned with Magic Lamps hung from the A-frame ceiling, while a staircase at the back led to the second floor, where the rooms were located.

On the left was the check-in counter, and on the right looked to be a full bar and kitchen. Vir could hear the clatter of plates and flatware as patrons chatted and laughed, sitting at the half dozen longtables that dominated the center of the space.

Somehow, it all felt a bit like home. Not Riyan’s place—his home in Brij, even though the only similarity they shared was their log construction. He felt warm here. Cozy. Welcomed.

But then reality came crashing down and he realized what a mistake they’d made. “I told you we can’t afford an expensive inn like this!” He said, realizing what kind of establishment Maiya had led him to.

“Uh, Vir?” Maiya said, scratching her nose.

“Yes, Maiya?”

“This is the place Riyan recommended. It’s one of the cheapest places in the city that’s actually safe.”

“Oh… Wow. Okay.”

For the first time in his life, Vir understood what it meant to be a villager in a big city.

Maiya kicked his shin. “Try not to gawk so much? We’re supposed to be aristocrats, Vir! You’re ruining our cover story!”

“Oh, right.” Vir did his best to gawk with his mouth closed from that point on.

With Maiya handling things, the hotel check-in process went smoothly. Ten Imperium coppers were steep for an inn, considering he’d already paid ten to berth Bumpy, but he’d heard that cities were expensive. He should probably be thankful it wasn’t a silver.

“Okay, so they’re gonna bring all our stuff up to our room,” Maiya said. “We get one meal included with the stay, but there aren’t any baths in the room. There’s just a communal one we can use for another two coppers. I bought that for us, too.”

“Huh? Right, thanks,” Vir said, ogling at a motley group of warriors who sat at the longtable in the center of the vast hall, each of them laughing and slapping their friends’ shoulders, beer flagons in hand. “Who do you think they are?”

“Hmm. I dunno—oh! You see the badges on their armor?”

Vir scrutinized their clothing. Most wore armor, but not one of them matched. One woman wore a fitted brigandine that was red and black, and another man was clothed in a thick gambeson like the guard that admitted them into the city. A third man wore a thin chainmail hauberk. But they all had the same badge. A small triangular metal plaque adorned with a black symbol that reminded Vir of a ghost.

“I think they’re part of the Brotherhood?” Maiya guessed.

“They’re cultists?” Vir asked, immediately thinking of the Children of Ash.

“No, no. The Brotherhood of Mercenaries. They’re a reputable organization that issues contracts to warriors for coin. Riyan says they have branches throughout the Known World in every country, including the Pagan Order.”

“Huh…” Vir wasn’t aware of such an organization existing. He was realizing that he didn’t know very much at all. The words Country Bumpkin came to mind.

Maiya led him up the stairs, almost accidentally holding his hand as she usually did. Luckily, she stopped herself at the last minute. Vir resisted smirking at her, which prompted her to huff and stomp away. Vir followed quietly behind.

Maiya inserted a key with their room number on it into the door, then pressed her hand against the Magic Lock embedded next to it. The mechanism clicked softly and disengaged.

Inside, they found a modestly sized room with wooden floors, log walls, and a low log ceiling. Hung from the rafters were more Magic Lamps, which Vir assumed the staff kept continuously charged. Unlike the grandeur of the main hall, there weren’t a lot of adornments. Just a pair of small, clean beds, a wooden desk in a corner, and a simple chair.

Maiya threw open the glass windows on the far wall, allowing the hustle and bustle of the evening city traffic into the room.

“Well, it isn’t much, but I think it’s pretty nice!” She said, kicking off her boots and jumping onto her bed. She squealed in delight as she stretched her arms and legs, melting into the soft down mattress. “Most towns are like Brij. They don’t even have inns, so we’re pretty lucky that Saran’s big enough. They’ve got several.”

“This is pretty darn luxurious, if you ask me,” Vir said. “Beats sleeping on a sand dune, right?”

Maiya glared at him. “Anything beats sleeping on a dune, Vir.” Then she smiled, hugging the soft pillows to her chest.

“Make sure you don’t ruin your makeup again,” Vir said.

“Don’t worry! I’m not a chal. Mmm, we’ll have to be careful when we take our baths, though. Best to go late at night, when no one’s there.”

“Right,” Vir said, yawning. “Just hope I can keep my eyes open that long.”

They hadn’t slept very well in the desert, and the hard day of travel had taken its toll. He so badly wanted to explore the city, but that would have to wait until the morrow.

“By the way,” he said, looking at his blissfully smiling friend, “the Suvir family we’re using for our cover story… Who are they? Any risk of being called out using that name?”

“None,” Maiya replied. “Doesn’t exist. Made it up.”

“Uh…”

Maiya rolled to her side and looked at Vir, propping her head up on her hand. “There’s a bazillion Sawai families, Vir. Many of them are unknown, especially the low-ranking ones. We’re not gonna get called out unless we run afoul of the law. So long as we don’t, we’re good.”

“Okay. So what’s the plan for tomorrow?”

“Well,” said Maiya, “I think we can afford to spend a couple of days in the city. No reason we have to do all of our shopping tomorrow. I think we can take the morning to explore, and maybe buy some stuff in the afternoon?”

Vir nodded. “Sure, sounds good to me. I’m itching to explore this place, too.”

“Hehe, bet you are!” Maiya said smugly. “Did you know that Saran’s got multiple districts? Riyan made me copy maps of the place until I memorized them.”

“Wait a minute… He’s got maps?” Vir said. “I distinctly remember him saying he didn’t have maps.”

“Oh yeah, he’s got loads of them. City maps, regional maps, the works.”

Vir’s lips grew taut. “That grakking chal. Of course he does.”

“So anyway, there’s the trading district, the residential district, the temple, and the harbor. The harbor’s a bit of a way from the rest of the city, though. We don’t really have much to do there, so I figure we can drop by when we’ve finished buying everything.”

“Yes. Yes. Absolutely. Definitely.” The mere thought of laying eyes on a real, actual ship filled Vir with so much anticipation, he thought he’d burst. He wanted to go visit right now, but after a fierce battle against temptation, his iron will—and his tiredness—prevailed.

Dinner was bland, compared to Maiya’s usual cooking. The flatbread was stale, and the brown rice curry simply didn’t have the depth of flavor that Vir was used to.

The two snuck downstairs right before the kitchen closed for the night, hoping to dodge the crowd. Even then, the hall was more than half full. Thankfully, they ate in peace; no one bothered them at their corner of the table.

After briefly returning to their room on the second floor, they headed to the baths, conveniently located just down the hall and around the corner.

Maiya breathed a sigh of relief to find the place empty, but Vir was left disappointed. “No soaking tub, huh?”

“Look at you, rich boy,” Maiya said, “spoiled by the lap of luxury! Vir, did you forget you didn’t even have bathing facilities in your old home?”

“Of course not,” Vir said with a scowl. “How could I possibly forget that? Just… I thought this place might, being a big city and all.”

Maiya rolled her eyes. “Maybe the top tier inns do. But only aristocrats have easy access to bathing facilities, even in cities like these. And they’re expensive. Very expensive.”

“Did Riyan tell you that?”

“Nah, that’s what dad would always say. Said we were incredibly privileged to have a bath in our house, and that I oughta be thankful.”

The bathhouse had a Magic Tap that belched hot water. Buckets and ladles lay positioned nearby, and an array of stalls with wooden doors lined the far wall.

Maiya activated the tap, filling buckets for both herself & Vir, before they went to their own stalls.

Rudvik would’ve found the stall cramped, but for someone of Vir’s stature, it was just perfect. He sat on the small wooden stool placed inside the stall and washed his makeup off, enjoying the soothing sensation of hot water running down his head and onto his back.

The soap bar thankfully didn’t require magic to use, so he lathered himself off, cleaned up, toweled off, and changed into his spare set of clothes. He emerged from the shower a new man—clean, and blissfully sleepy.

Maiya had already finished and was waiting for him. After waiting for a man to pass through the hallway, they quickly darted to their rooms, ensuring that no one saw their faces.

Vir stumbled into the room and crashed onto his bed, not realizing that he’d picked the wrong one. Maiya promptly fell onto him, also asleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Neither cared enough to move.

They slept well, blissfully unaware that in just a few short hours, they would face the biggest crisis of their lives…