Nothing Says Closure Like a Corpse - F4A - Espionage Romance - It Was Meant to Be a Clean Goodbye

This isn’t a meltdown. It’s a professional conversation between two very emotionally stable assassins who just happen to have a bit of a flirtation problem. And a trust issue. And a jealousy thing. But that’s not important. What’s important is that we break up. Dissolve. Separate. Right after I finish explaining, calmly, why I quadruple-killed the tango target. And why I bought a dress I’ll never wear unless you ask me to. And why Portly, my corgi, already likes you more than anyone else. And why I love you.
This is fine. Everything’s fine.
So, so fine.

✧･ﾟ Meet the Players ･ﾟ✧

🧑‍🎤 Speaker Teaser

I’m your partner, your shadow, your best shot at staying alive. And apparently, the world’s most catastrophically jealous assassin.

🎧 Listener Teaser

You flirt like a professional. You kill like a ghost. And somehow, you’re the only person who ever met my corgi. You never stood a chance.

✧ Filed Under: This Is What You’re In For ✧

[F4A] Nothing Says Closure Like a Corpse [Romance][Dark Comedy][Thriller][Assassin Roleplay][Assassin Listener][Self-Sabotage][Fear of Abandonment][We Should Tango. No, We Shouldn’t. Yes, We Should][This Is a Breakup. Said No One Believably Ever] Targets. I Want To Be a Target][My Serious Face Is Serious] Targets. I Want To Be a Target][My Serious Face Is Serious][No Banter. No Flirting. No Explosions][This Is a Breakup. Not a Confession. Obviously][Don’t Stand in Front of the Window, You Idiot][Stop Making Me Love You While I’m Trying To Break up With You][Let’s Call off the Calling Off][I Just Wanted To Be Certain She’d Never Tango Again][Jealous][Flustered][Possessive][Conflicted][Protective][Volatile][Charming][Messy][Overkill Means I Care][This Is a Perfectly Calm and Professional Breakup. No Feelings. None at All][I Definitely Didn’t Kill Your Tango Partner Out of Jealousy. I’m Not Jealous. I Said I’m Not]

⚠︎ Read Me Before You Regret It ⚠︎

Trigger Warnings: jealousy, emotional instability, implied violence, obsession, professional boundaries crossed, possessiveness

✧ Just One Question... ✧

Oh, so now everyone wants to dance with you? Interesting.

I take one night off being charming and emotionally repressed, and suddenly you're out there tangoing like you're auditioning for a romcom. Which is fine. I'm fine. Completely unaffected. So go on. Tell me...

Who else are you planning to flirt with under my nose? Just curious. No reason.

• 💃 The next target with a pulse and legs

• 🧨 That arms dealer who winked at you in Prague

• ☕ The barista who spelled your name right once

• 🐾 Portly. You absolute traitor.

• 🙄 Me. Which would be the correct answer, obviously