Trust the Process (Even if the Process is a Bit Sleep-Deprived)

Right then. While I’m working my way through the audio backlog, slowly, determinedly, with the grace of someone absolutely not listening to their doctor, I’m going to aim to get at least two audios a day out to you.

Things will pick up as I’m able to stay at the computer for longer stretches. Just… don’t mention it. He’s already cross enough about me not drinking enough water or “resting properly”, which, frankly, sounds fake and made up.

To help keep you updated in a slightly more entertaining way, I’ll now be providing you with Wayward Audio Forecasts™, so you’ll know what’s headed your way (emotionally speaking). Think of it as a weather report, but instead of rain, it’s obsessive cosmic forces and morally ambiguous burglars.

Assumes overly cheerful weather girl voice, possibly while holding a cursed umbrella

🎙️ Audio Forecast: 31st May

Incoming Conditions:
Three titles are expected to descend with increasing emotional intensity. Please secure your headphones and prepare to feel weird things.

☁️ Fated to You

Tone: Obsessively tender, romantic horror
Character: Fate personified , strange, unshakably devoted. The sort of love that doesn’t blink.
Forecast Summary:
You thought it was chance, the way things kept working out. But it was her. Fate. Watching. Tending. Tethering.
And now she’s in front of you, asking if you’ll stay safe and loved… or vanish into freedom.
Say yes, or say goodbye.

🌫️ The Ghost Job

Character: Cool noir, brittle around the edges
Voice: A retired cat burglar, all sharp angles and soft regrets
Forecast Summary:
She left the high life behind: diamonds, alarms, rooftops at 3 a.m. Now it’s tea in quiet rooms.
Until the notes start. The flowers. The watcher.
Someone’s in her space. Someone who understands.
She should be afraid.
She isn’t.

🔥 Be Bad Too

Tone: Intimate, unsettling, full of emotional manipulation
Character: A confidant who sees through you — and doesn’t mind waiting
Forecast Summary:
They know you’re pretending. They’re not mad. They’re patient. This isn’t about shame, it’s about truth. Not now, of course. Not yet. But they’ll be here when you’re ready to stop pretending. When you’re ready to be bad, too.

That’s the forecast. Pack accordingly.
Forecasts may shift without warning. As does my editing stamina.
Thank you for your patience.

🐸 MUPPET SPEAK TRANSLATION:

HELLO YES! WEATHER FOR FEELINGS IS HERE.

Me try send TWO AUDIOS a day! Me go fast! (…ish.)
Me no tell doctor. Doctor say “bed.” Me say “edit.”
Doctor shout. Me sip tea and hide.

Today forecast is VERY EMOTION.

🌧️ “Fated to You”
Fate lady say: “All that luck? Me did that.”
Now she say: “Stay here forever. With me. OR ELSE.”
Romance, but… spooky clingy.

🌩️ “The Ghost Job”
Retired sneaky lady say: “Me no steal anymore.”
Mysterious person say: “Okay but… me leave you flowers anyway.”
Now she feel: confused. intrigued. ALIVE.
Crime ghosts??? Maybe.

🔥 “Be Bad Too”
Voice say: “You naughty. Come back.”
You say: “No!”
Voice say: “Yes.”
You say: “No…”
Voice say: “Yeeeees.”
You say: “okay.”
Feelings = CRUMBLED. Dignity = GONE.

Forecast end. Me need snack. And nap. Then more audio.