[RAW]Apocalypse Innkeeper -- Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The smart thing to do, outside not wasting all my money on clothes and water, would have been to buy a weapon and return to grinding.  I was already level twenty-eight, if I managed to hit thirty I’d unlock my class and begin the long, endless climb up the cosmic scale of power.

“Nope,” I grumbled to myself.  “I’m done, I said it, I mean it!”

Even as I reaffirmed my conviction, my quest window popped up.

Main Quests:

The Never Ending Climb (ONGOING): Reach Level 30

Life is defined by death, either those who deal it or those who are reaped for the benefit of others.  Forge your destiny in the blood of those you’ve vanquished!

Reaching level thirty will allow you to unlock your CLASS, your first step on the path of true greatness!

Redeem the World (GLOBAL): 0/10 Infernal Judges Slain

Humanity has been granted the miraculous opportunity to reclaim Joriel from ruin and join the wider multiverse!  Slay the ten Infernal Judges, the avatars of destruction, to prove your mettle!

“I said no, damnit.” I waved my hand till the window vanished.

Sighing, I stretched out on the rock, determined to enjoy the sunlight and the cool breeze blowing overhead.

Back on Earth, I had been a bartender; I had hoped to eventually open my own place, even taking a few courses on business management from the local community college.  I knew they weren’t grand aspirations, not in the grand scale of things, but I had been happy with my dreams.

I had just been behind the bar, about to begin an afternoon shift, when I saw my first system window.  Things had rapidly gone downhill from there.

Joriel was a kill-or-be-killed world; as far as I knew you only got XP and coins from killing stuff.  Other people were either a threat, or a big old juicy piggy bank just waiting to be broken open.

We hadn’t even cleared the tutorial area yet.  From what the system had explained, humanity was broken up and scattered at random across Joriel.  Either we got let out when we hit thirty, or maybe we had to kill those judges first, I didn’t know, and at that point, I didn’t care.

The whole thing was a fucking treadmill, an endless race in some stupid hamster wheel.  Sure, if I kept at it and didn’t die a horrible death I’d eventually be able to afford real weapons, real clothing, and maybe something that didn’t taste like dried vomit, but what was the point?

I didn’t want to be some galaxy conquering superman, I didn’t have some crazy addiction to power and XP.

I just wanted a cold beer, a warm bed, and maybe a lady or two to share it with.  Was that too much to ask for?

As if on cue, the quest window popped up again.

“Quit it!” I snapped, angrily, sitting up.

I knew I couldn’t just lay there and die, the system would eventually nag me to death, or I’d eat what little I had and be driven by thirst and hunger to go grind up some coins. It was kill or be killed, and that was it.

“Or is it?”

I spun around, fists balled, my survival instincts kicked into overdrive by constant murder-hobo attacks.

The attractive young woman wearing a blouse and pencil skirt threw me off a bit.  Sure, she was blue, and a pair of horns were sticking out of her midnight-black hair, but hot was hot, and she was hot.

Instantly I tried to use Inspect on her.

[???]

Shit, I was in big trouble.  My Inspect skill worked on anything below me, fully identifying the name, species, and level.  For things above me, I at least got their name, maybe their species.  The demonic office lady was coming up as a complete blank, meaning she could probably kill me with a finger flick.

She gave me a small smile, a hint of fang playing along her lips.  “Please, calm down, I’m not here to hurt you.”

“Consider just about everything on this stupid planet is trying to murder me, forgive me for not taking you at your word,” I said cautiously.

Her smile grew only wider.  “I’m over level one hundred, if I wanted you dead, Mr. Fedofski, you’d be dead.”

“My friends call me Erin,” I said, instantly regretting my flippant tone.

“Erin then,” she agreed easily.  “Please, relax.  I’m here to offer you an opportunity, one I’m fairly certain you’ll jump at.”

“My nice date at a steak restaurant followed by an evening stroll through the park?”

I almost clamped my hands over my mouth.  My fear was making me flippant.

“Maybe,” she laughed.  “If I find you up to snuff, I might even suggest we continue the date at my place.”

She had practically purred the last few words; my bones felt like jello as my once dormant libido roared back to life.

Stupid, survival now, sex later! I chided myself.

She pressed a hand to her chest.  “My name is Or’ireth Doomscar, I work for ADI.”

“ADI?” I repeated, feeling utterly lost.

“Amalgamagic Demonics Incorporated,” she said.  “We’ve been subcontracted by the Divine Chorus to assist with humanity’s uplift trial and the reclamation of Joriel.”

“The Divine Chorus?” I felt like a broken record.

Or’ireth frowned.  “This should have been all explained during the tutorial.  Didn’t you pay attention?”

“Lady, the tutorial, as you call it, was some stupid stat window giving me a cheapass sword, a few potions, and throwing me into a death game, and that’s about it.  Everything I’ve sussed out since then has been like pulling teeth!”

Which was true.  Most of what I knew about my circumstances came from quest descriptions and a few cryptic messages from the system when I did something noteworthy like clearing a ruin or killing a particular large pig.

The demon sighed, rubbing her brow.  “Those jellyfish, they really are cheap bastards.  They skimped on everything, even the intro!”

“Jellyfish?” I couldn’t even picture what she was talking about.

“Okay, time for a crash course in the multiverse,” Or’ireth said.  “There are infinite realities overseen by a pantheon of infinite gods.  They have sorted the worlds into grades, from Inferior to Perfect.”

“Like the items around here?” I guessed.

“Basically.  They’re kind of dickheads,” she said, blaspheming without concern. “Realities slowly accumulate power as they age and their occupants advance. And all of them are jockeying for position.”

“Sounds kind of familiar,” I replied, thinking of my own shitty circumstances.

She flashed me another one of those bone-melting demonic grins.  “Exactly.  Realities, like Joriel, rise and fall as they move up and down the grades, with the ultimate goal for their citizens to reach perfection and ascend to godhood.”

“Sounds like a scam,” I spat.

“Something we share in common,” she said with a nod.  “Earth, your home reality.”

“Planet,” I corrected her.

“Whatever.” She waved me off.  “Was up until recently an ungraded reality, alone and untethered to the multiverse at large.  But humanity managed to accumulate enough power to qualify as Inferior One.”

“Yay us,” I deadpanned.

“When that happened, you became the Medusozoa Chorus’s problem.  The lesser gods overseeing your ascension delegate the job to them.  And being the cheap pricks they were, they decided to kill two birds with one stone, since they had also been tasked with reclaiming Joriel after its native species managed to kill itself with a memic virus.”

“You’re kidding me. This, all of this!” I wave my hands at the dead city. “Is because some jellyfish assholes are too lazy to do their own job?”

“Basically,” Or’ireth agreed.  “Normally, when a species is given a chance at ascension, they’re put through a trial set on their own planet.  In this case, though, the Medusozoa Chorus dumped you here, presenting a much steeper challenge than what is normally offered for Inferior One grade trials.”

“Shit, is there anything we can do about it?” I asked hopefully.

“You can put in a letter of protest with the lesser gods who delegated the task to the Medusozoa Chorus,” she answered sweetly.  “If you follow proper procedures I’m sure they’ll get back to you in a millennium or so.”

“Not at all,” Or’ireth assured me.  “Humanity is projected to complete their overall trial and reclaim Joriel in two hundred and seventy-six years.  By then, the bloodthirsty, battle-hardened champions will be ready to step out into the wider multiverse as the leaders of your Inferior Eighth species.”

I turned around and began marching toward the creek.

The demon called after me. “Erin, where are you going?”

“To drown myself,” I answered stubbornly.  “If that’s what the future for humanity looks like, I’m happy to check out now!”

“Wait, wait, wait, don’t be hasty!” I heard her heels clicking across the rough ground as she raced after me.

I turned around.  “What, you’ve got a better idea?”

She nodded.  “Of course.  I want to offer you a job!”