Your Favorite Healslut: Playtesting

Still hanging onto my weird little family of video game tropes. I’ve got a couple Healslut stories in the works, but this one was the farthest and most episodic. The team’s gone through updates before but a full-on graphical upgrade and testing mechanics on them is new. I also start to introduce their relationship with the real world through the Programmers, and even hint at why the Merc Squad is in the weird meta state that they are. Explore some stuff while also putting dicks and tits into other stuff. 

“Incoming!” Chainslash raised his chainsaw in front of his face as a couple of grenades went off in front of him. He revved it irritably as he charged around some fallen bookshelves, swinging wildly at Anarchy. She dropped a smoke bomb as she ran out of his reach, just for a rush of air to blow past the burly killer. Night Shift slammed into him, the dull-eyed mutant smiling lazily.

“One down,” she told her team casually as she bit into the flesh under his hood. She sighed and rubbed her hips against his leg and her breasts in his face as she took a few greedy gulps. With a quick pinging sound, she pushed herself off him and wiped her lips. “Heals are going down, people, so you’re on your own.”

As Night’s tongue ran past her lips, her teeth extended into pointed fangs. Her skin turned from its pale gothic coloration to pitch black and her slim but curvy body suddenly swelled with muscle. Her eyes glowed red as she hunched over, transforming into a nude and clearly female bat-like creature with the scraps of her lacey dress hanging off of her. She whirled with a snarl, her wide ears twitching and tilting as she picked up the heavy footsteps from around the corner. She scrambled on all fours and pounced as soon as she’d turned.

“It should be right over OH HOLY SHIT!” Pocket Rocket squeaked as the bulky batgirl tackled her to the ground. She pinned her under one hand, smashing her into the ground before throwing her limply into the wall. Psych went pale behind her and threw a quick burst of psychic energy at her, but Night shift hissed and kept charging. She backhanded the young psychic against the wall to let him crumble into a heap.

“Ow… better not crack… my phone,” he groaned as he went slack. Night took in a hissing breath as she started to shift back to her human body, shivering as her clothes reformed around her instead of her fur. She sighed as she flexed her fingers and took her dart gun back from her hip.

“Well that was fun,” she mused as a ping went off overhead.

“Red Team wins!”

Night smiled listlessly as the room faded around her. She reappeared around her teammates at their spawn point, a simple room of unclear computers and filing cabinets. She waved at them loosely.

“Nice ult back there,” Psych said, leaning up on his toes to hug his semi-sister. It wasn’t clear from their character bios if they were actually related, claiming they grew up in a lab together. Considering they had come into existence at the same time with the same backstory, he figured her to be as close as he could get to one.

“Thanks. I used it to kill you,” Night said with her same patient smile. The Red Team’s Psych gave her an odd look as she wrapped her arms around him and knelt behind his back. “Come on. Victory poses…” she mused as she rested her breasts on his head and smiled for the last shot of the “first to 20” game. Anarchy threw up the horns while Shieldmaiden flexed behind them all, towering over the lot of them. Bork just chewed at an itch just above his robotic leg until the scene faded out.

They appeared back at the base, heading quickly to the break room to cool off. To their surprise, there was nobody there except for Pocket Rocket. She had her lengthy tongue shot into a water bottle, lapping and sucking up its contents with her strange anatomy. “Hey, guys,” she answered casually, the alien lounging in a desk chair with her lab coat and short shorts. “What happened to the others?”

“I’m… not sure,” Night said cautiously. “You don’t think there was another crash, do you? The servers have been… iffy lately.”

“I bet it’s Healslut’s fault,” Chainslash grunted as the blue team tank caught up to the others. “She’s always screwing with something. Him or the little homo on the laptop.”

“Oh leave them alone,” Anarchy snorted. “At least make fun of ‘em to their face.”

“I’ve been shot enough times, thanks,” Chain grumbled. “Not while his girlfriend’s there and the only one with a working gun around the office.”

“You’re doing it again,” Psych pointed out.

“What?”

“You said ‘his.”

“Yea?”

“You called Patcher a ‘his.”

“It’s ‘he,” Night Shift corrected her brother calmly.

“Not the point. Why is she a dude to you?”

“He’s… not?” Chain replied warily.

“There! You did it again!” Psych pointed accusingly as he broke into a grin. “I knew it! You fuck her all the time because you’re closet gay as shit!”

“What?! C’mere and say that, you little…” Chainslash tried to stomp towards the smirking psychic as Night Shift pushed her wing out in his way. She didn’t look any less calm than usual, smiling at him patiently. Pocket Rocket ducked under her wing and waved her hands.

“Guys, guys! As much as I want to see Chain beat up a kid a tenth his size, his closet homosexuality isn’t the problem here.”

“HEY!”

“Here’s the two real questions: one, where did the team go. Two, why is he calling Patcher a he? And three…”

“What happened to two?” Anarchy asked, furrowing her brow. Pocket pointed behind her at nothing particular.

“Three… where did Shieldmaiden just vanish off to?” The group looked behind them, and the giant Viking woman was missing. In fact, a black void seemed to be left in reality in her general outline, eating up the stage around them. Bork went over, sniffing at the empty space like it was a curious stain.

“Hoooly crap. No way I’m missing this!” Psych laughed. He turned towards the remaining teammates and held up his phone, snapping a quick selfie with the infinite emptiness. He let out another chuckle before he similarly vanished in a burst of empty blackness. He saw everything seem to disassemble around him, from his staring teammates to the walls of the structure. Soon he was standing on absolutely nothing, however solid it felt beneath him.

[Reaction time looks normal. How are the physics?]

Psych winced as the words came and felt like they itched his eyes and ears, not really using either to perceive them. He felt his hair brush back as if under some giant set of fingers, grabbing at whatever it was. He didn’t feel a thing even as it lifted his bangs and flopped them back down. “Not another psychic, is it?” he asked warily. “Cuz I don’t need the competition.”

[I think Mike’s still good for the VA. Can we add like a layer of warping to it.

[That’s stupid. Nobody will understand him. He’s supposed to be a cute kid.]

[TYPE! He’s a cute kid TYPE. Legally speaking, he’s ‘old enough,’ not a kid. We gotta watch our asses out there. Now try the filter.]

[Fine, fine. Adjusting now.]

Psych frowned and rubbed his head as the strange sensations passed him by. He got some mild feedback from everyone around him with their passing thoughts, but this was full on concert speakers compared to hearing someone else’s conversation on the phone. It took him a few seconds just to process what they were saying, even if the message seemed to reach him right away and echo through his being and the void.

[I’m not hearing anything…]

[Must be a complication in the voiceline logarithm. Let me tweak this a little…]

“Think fast!” Psych suddenly blurted, not unlike how the people he would possess felt when he took them over. The difference was a haunting echo to his voice with a bass-heavy tone. He clapped his hand over his mouth, starting to realize what he was hearing. He’d only heard stories from the older characters about this…

[Ugh. I hate it. Change it back.]

[Yea, thanks for proving me right, Jimbo. Do you think he’s black enough?]

[Psych is supposed to be Brazilian, technically.]

[But we found him in Russia.]

[Then WHY would he be black?]

[Look, he was born in Brazil and brought to Russia by FANG, the terrorist-]

[Fuck it. We don’t need his whole background, Thompson. Let’s put him aside and work on someone else for now.]

Psych’s skin crawled as the void around him shifted. He suddenly appeared among the rest of his teammates, sitting or laying lazily on the invisible ground. Everyone was also completely nude.

“What the hell was that? Second question,” Psych started to sound annoyed. “What the hell is this?”

“The great programmers, lad,” Gladiator explained with a broad and impressive gesture across his hairy barrel of a chest. “They’ve come to judge us once again.”

“Judge what?” Psych asked uncertainly.

“Relax. You weren’t here for the last one,” Ghost Shot assured him. The fit sniper was laying back with her head against Patcher’s chest, ignoring the blonde as she let her girlfriend braid her hair. “They’re just giving us a checkup. This is a system shutdown while they update the graphics engine and little things like that. Probably some experimenting with bigger changes.”

“Still fuckin’ better not make my sister canon,” Anarchy grumbled. “I hate this shit. It’s like waitin’ at the doctor’s office.”

“Except the doctor can unmake you from existence,” Dr Dragon added wryly. “Or alter your memories. Replace your sense of taste with your sense of touch… admirable, in a way. Something I’d aspire to, were it possible.”

“No comment,” Duct Tape muttered. It was no secret by now that he’d gotten into the server data and even emulated a few player accounts for his own amusement. Creating a super hacker inside a video game turned out to be more troubling than the creators realized. It made him something of an agnostic as far as sentient video game characters went.

“They turned me into a boy once!” Patcher said cheerily. “Repogrammed my pronouns for a dialogue test. And they gave me a dick which was like, ew, how can I heal boys with that?”

“Okay, so… what do we do?” Psych asked as he moved over to his sister. He frowned as he realized how awkward it was, but she wrapped a wing around him to pull him closer to the pale mutant.

“Just wait your turn. Everyone will come and go for a bit until they decide what to do with the world.”

“I’m hoping for another event map. I like the new clothes,” Patcher added happily.

“That’s the lazy way out. And they still haven’t even added Ballbuster. How long has it been since-?”

[Ok, go grab Shieldmaiden. We need to work on her a while.]

The words sort of happened into reality as the huge Nordic woman rose to her feet. “I await thy command, ye gods!”

The rest of her friends vanished around her as she was left naked and alone. She set her muscular arms at her sides patiently.

[How does the new muscle framework look? Do they clash with the jiggle physics?] Shield raised her arm and flexed helpfully. It did seem to run a bit smoother, as she glanced, and the detail of her movement between her arm and chest muscles did seem a little more realistic.

“I pray this is to thy satisfaction, Great Odin!” she declared as she puffed up her chest.

[Good. The crazy medieval logic engine still works.]

[What about the grapple system?]

[Let’s find out…]

There was a shift in the air pressure as a second Shieldmaiden appeared next to her, this one’s hair blonde with streaks of black in her hair. Their eyes met and they both nodded. “I heed your call, Great Odin! You honor me with an opponent as powerful as I!”

“And I as well,” the blonde Viking answered. She turned and tackled Shieldmaiden (the first one anyway) around the waist, bringing her down to her knees. The redhead palmed her head and pushed her duplicate into the unseen ground. The blonde bite between her thumb and forefinger until she recoiled from the pain, grabbing and twisting the arm as the blonde ended up sitting on her shoulder. She yanked up on the limb, forcing it between her muscular thighs in a messy submission hold.

[Okay. That holds up. What about the others?]

[Certain characters can break out faster based on an invisible strength value. But whoever she tackles will stay down for a few seconds at least.]

[Test that out on someone else, will you?]

Shieldmaiden tore her arm from her double’s grasp, elbowing her in her dense abdomen. She spun around and swung a fist at the blonde’s head when she vanished from sight. Another second later and Gladiator reappeared, the stubbly Irish soldier towering even without his power armor. He was almost as tall as Shieldmaiden.

“I understand, Godking Odin,” Shieldmaiden said solemnly. “I have failed your trial and you grant me a lesser opponent. I shall not fail thee twice.”

“Wait, what?” Gladiator looked up to try and find an explanation as Shield barged into him, shoving a hand between his legs. She grunted as she lifted the brawny man off his feet and body slammed him to the ground, mashing her breasts across his chest. She grabbed his legs and rolled him into his chest, pulling them up and back in another firm submission hold of her own.

“ACH! Get the hell offa me, lass!” Gladiator grunted as he pushed against the void.

[Well it looks good, but should she be able to just lift him like that? Glad’s kind of a beefcake, even without all that armor on…]

[Based on Shield’s upbringing and time period, she should be able to overpower him. Plus, given the treatment FANG did to her biology to revive her-“

[Thompson, stop trying to make FANG canon. No one cares.]

[Yea, let’s go with animation cycle 6 through 8 if she’s up against Gladiator… and any character with a weight or height in that scale… and bank that for a future update til we work the kinks out.]

[Great. Good job, people. That was quick and painless.]

“I feel no pain in your serve, Allfather!” Shield vowed before her and Gladiator reappeared back in the void with their teammates. The burly warrior looked around as Glad cleared his throat.

“I wouldn’t mind if ye got off me now,” he implied with a glance.

“I do not think I will.” Shield just smirked as she pinned his arms and dropped her body, planting her breasts into his face. He growled and picked her up by the armpits, throwing her bodily away like she was a common car on an arena map. Shield landed and tumbled briefly while she broke out laughing.

Some of the crew chuckled, but the quietly watching Skullfucker blinked out next. The blue-haired zombie soldier stood in the void, adjusting her assault rifle’s sling idly.

[Right… Skulfucker. What to do with her?]

[Her play rate’s going down as recruitment drops. She’s an intro character. We need to get her a little more…]

[Slutty?]

[Not necessarily. She needs something more. She’s really just a Doomguy with a summon ability when you get down to it.]

[Doomguy’s cool.]

[Ehhhh]

[Do not start this argument, Ron.]

[Doomguy’s not CREATIVE. And he’s not sexy. That’s the problem here.]

[Ehhhh.]

[Ron I will never look at your browser history. This is my promise. So what can we do here?]

“I can wait,” Skull said plainly. “I have time. I am zombie and sapient computer program. Also Russian.”

There was a dull crack inside her as Skullfucker grew another six inches, her figure stretched thinner than ever. Even the stoic zombie glanced down at herself with mild surprise.

“This is new,” she noted dryly before her body filled out with a popping sound. Her hips and breasts shot out in particular, gaining an hourglass figure that even stuck out more than Patcher’s. There was a leathery creak around her feet, and as she glanced down she saw her combat boots simply absorbing into her skin. Her blue feet lost much of their wrinkled and rotted look, suddenly quite smooth and with painted pink toenails.

“So dis is new zombie feet? Big boobs, big butt update?”

[Still got that deep voice though.]

[Is it a boner killer though? Some people dig that.]

[If they want an apathetic waifu, they can go to Dr. Dragon. Turn her a few notches higher and get a little purr. More smoky than bubbly so we don’t go too Patcher.]

[How’s this?]

“Cold as the grave? Let Mama Skull keep you warm,” Skullfucker purred in a sultry voice lightly flavored by her accent rather than her grim and blunt demeanor. She batted her eyes and gave a wiggle of her juicy new hips, trying to squeeze her elbows together so her breasts puffed up between them. Her face suddenly dropped back to her disinterested expression.

“I am fearing the worst,” Skull muttered.

[Okay, good. Good start. Can we update the face a little?]

[Maybe she’s like… rediscovered her will to live through The Squad. Happy to be alive rather than a dead soldier walking.]

Skull’s eyes opened wider and her straight mouth curled into a playful smile.

“Very fearing,” Skull muttered in her old voice. She felt her arm raise in the air and drop back down as the creators tested out her model.

[So does it work?]

With a higher-pitched “Hup!”, Skull started doing jumping jacks. She did her best not to wince as her breasts flew up at her face each time. Thankfully her digital equivalent of botox kept her from frowning too hard.

[I mean, technically. A human woman with this kind of a figure wouldn’t be a soldier. I’m not positive she’d be alive. The hips to stomach ratio alone…]

[Exactly. She’s not alive. She’s a talking microchip for people to shoot and masturbate to.]

[And a zombie.]

[I… guess?]

[Great. Run the update on her AI and let’s try out the new loadout.]

Skull white out for a moment, sighing as she came back. She found her voice higher like they’d assigned, sounding more like a noir temptress than the heartless Russian mercenary she was created as. She didn’t feel any different, but her bright expression kept smiling seductively and jiggling at random intervals.

“I want it on record I am not appreciate,” Skull said in her seductive new voice At least her stilted English was still there. She raised an eyebrow as a white figure appeared in front of her. She instinctively drew her assault rifle and aimed it at the humanoid shape. She recognized it from some earlier playtests; it was a Dummy character. It looked exactly like a mannequin, all white and featureless besides some interconnected lines on its chest and face to track its movements. It hobbled awkwardly towards Skull with its stubby fingers and flopping, smooth dick out with its lack of clothes.

“A fellow zombie,” Skull sighed as she raised her gun. “At least you won’t have to live with jiggle titties…”

She lined up her sight when the gun warped in her hands. It grew wider and a little heavier, and turned from its dull steel to a sky blue paintjob. She held it out and studied it, finding several attachments to the bottom including a under-barrel grenade launcher and bayonet. Her already opened eyes raised even wider.

“Is… is this AN94?” she asked in absolute disbelief.

“98. It’s the future, so…”

“Ho! NOW I am feel the sexy,” she purred as she ran her hands over the weapon’s surface. “Is looking like merry Christmas for Yelena!” She swiftly raised it and fired a couple bursts into the Dummy, dropping the default character model quickly enough.

“More kick, more power… I am liking,” she smiled. “I vill call you Gunslut, you dirty, deadly girl.” She leveled it again, squashing her breasts against her chest and wobbling them as she released another testing burst.

[It’s a little trickier to handle, but the extra firepower should draw in veterans. Let’s try out her Specials.]

“Da! Let’s,” she purred as she flicked the switch next to her bayonet. It shot out and harpooned the Dummy before reeling him back in, letting her unload point blank on the stunned program. A few more Dummies were summoned and she tested out the rest of her skillset, firing off a grenade of pink gas that made them stagger around disoriented. Judging by the way their perfectly smooth erections bolted upright, she realized they had given her a rocket-propelled aphrodisiac bomb. Sure, it meant getting bimboed up and losing her simplistic style, but with the new heavy-duty firepower in her hands… that was about all that Skullfucker cared about. Her ditzy smile was starting to feel genuine.

[Great. Between the grappler and the accuracy debuff, I think we finally have a good counter to Ghost Shot.]

[And we put the ‘fuck’ in Skullfucker!]

[I’ll start scripting some actual lore to explain all this…]

[The lore is zombie stuff happened. Who gives a shit?]

[So that just leaves Patcher…]

Skullfucker flashed her creators a quick salute, hugging her gun before she vanished. The bubbly blonde reappeared in the test area. She was just in her underwear (a pink thong and skimpy bra) as she smiled awkwardly.

“Hi, Programmers. How you been?”

[Do we really need to change much about her?]

[Just some basic updates really. We can touch up her graphics, make sure the group-up engine works, and get an early lunch.]

“Ooh, what’s that? Are you finally putting in the teamwork mechanic? Cuz I had a couple ideas…”

One of the blank Dummies appeared right in front of her, standing awkwardly upright.

“Oh! Hey, it’s you guys again!” Patcher chimed. “At least I think it’s you… I um, don’t want to sound mean, but like, you guys look a lot alike.”

The Dummy raised one of its barely-detailed hands and waved.

“Oh hey! It IS you! Cooool! So what brings you here?”

“Oh hey! It IS you! Cooool! So what brings you here?” It just stared at her with its empty face. “Oh yea. Can’t talk. My b~!”

Patch would have kept babbling to him, but her mouth moved on its own. “OMG! Group up!” she blurted. The Dummy stood sharply upright and ran up to her, bumping off her side before standing still.

[Looks like the communication wheel works with the AI units. Add a couple more to see how they respond.]

Five more Dummies popped into existence, landing on the floor like rag dolls before picking themselves back up. Patcher barked out another uncontrollable default voiceline. “Hey everybody! Check out over here!” The lurching drones rose and marched over to her. The eerily blank figures huddled around her until one completely walked inside another, bulking it up to twice its bulk.

[Okay, we got a contact glitch. Reroute their paths to avoid each other so they don’t just clip into each other.]

Another Dummy appeared, shambling over to join the others next to the one oversized default.

“So this is grouping up,” Patcher noted as she squeezed between them to turn around. “Kinda cozy…”

[And how’s the group heal working? Make sure she can trigger that.]

Patcher’s lips moved on her own again. “Gather round if you need healing!” she called. All of the Dummies looked at her at once. “Woopsy…”

One of the Dummies behind her grabbed her breasts, squeezing them and tearing off her bra. Another mashed its face into her chest, sliding her hardening nipples across his face.

“Oof! Not so rough, guys!” she urged as she pushed the face away from her chest.

[Can we have the animations a little rougher? Fans could get bored of the usual stuff if it’s too vanilla.]

Patcher squeaked as one of the defaults turned her hips and shoved his hard plastic dick up her ass.

[When I said too vanilla, I didn’t mean chocolate, Jen.]

[You’re such a prude!]

Patcher all but vanished under the grabbing Dummies.

“Um, guys! Guys, wait your turn!” she urged as politely as she could. She found herself silenced when one of them grabbed her hair and shoved his strangely smooth shaft into her face. A few clumsy slaps against her cheeks and lips finally got it blindly stuffed into her mouth. Patcher moaned as she started to suck him off instinctively, spreading her healing lips over his erection. A couple more grabbed her hips to pull her towards them. They ripped off Patcher’s panties as another rammed up her ass, getting her to moan and squeal around the mouthful of Dummy dick.

“Whoa! Easy there, dude!” she yelped as the front Dummy’s dick fell out of her mouth. “At least stick something in my lootbox first! OOP! There is it!”

Patcher felt a second drone slam his cock into her pussy, filling her hips as the others groped and grabbed at her for better positioning. She could feel the healing pumping into them as she moaned and whined, her body twitching from the uncomfortable gangbang.

[Looks like that should work. Run the updates and patch in Ballbuster. Then we wait until they complain about Patcher’s buff, make up something about her humble beginnings and buff up a few others to catch up, and nerf her heal rate when nobody’s looking to even it out.]

[Awesome. Great job, people. I think that’s a wrap.]

[Let’s go to the steakhouse today. I’m starving.]

“Wait, are you guys leaving? Um, Programmers?” 

Patcher tried to object again but two more cocks shoved into her mouth. She gulped to contain her drool, followed by a cum chaser from the latest Dummy. The others pawed and pulled at her tits or slapped her ass as they bumped her around between their cocks. The two at her front finally made way just as the fused double showed up, looming over her at its bigger height and bulk. The massive shaft hung low in front of her face to show that it had changed with the rest of him.

“Oh please,” she groaned. Despite her eyes and mouth watering, she was more frustrated than in any actual pain. “Can you at least not look at me that way?”

The Big Dummy looked at her with a quizzical tilt of his head. Patcher furrowed her brow and called up her HUD, making a few quick gestures to get up her Spray menu. With a few soft squeaking noises, she drew a simple, neon green smiley face with her finger on his otherwise featureless body.

“There. That’s a little better,” Patcher chuckled with a wince. Her body was still rocking from the others fucking her from behind. Fresh loads of cum shot into her ass and pussy at once as the identical blanks pulled out of her. Patcher winced from the slimy sensation, but at least it lubed her up for when two more immediately took over. She squeaked as the biggest brute grabbed her by the tits, squeezing them like udders in between his meaty paws. He pulled them like dangling handles to drive his massive cock into her mouth, making Patcher give a loud and muffled scream of surprise.

Her throat instinctively opened up to let him drive into what felt like the pit of her stomach, her eyes and nose starting to water from her heavy breathing. Her body tightened around the cock that pushed deep down her mouth, whimpering miserably. Several more had grabbed her hands as she reflexively jerked them off, and one had even lifted up her leg to hump between her toes in his desperation.  Patcher gave a miserable moan as she realized what she was in for.

She was left at the mercy of the Dummies that couldn’t understand or respond to her. Her creators had forgotten to switch off their default responses to her healing command, left in the void for them to play with until the next update. She sniffled softly, unable to bite her lip as she tried not to cry.

Then they suddenly stopped. She was still naked and caked in cum, but they ceased their humping in total unison. Patcher looked in the direction all of their blank faces (except for Big Dummy’s uneven smile) and saw Psych, the young telepath standing straight up and down with her arms outstretched to either side. He held it for a few seconds until the Dummies all threw their arms out in a matching stance.

“Hey. Are you okay?” the kid asked. Patcher gave a muffled but happy noise from around the massive dick in her mouth. Psych looked away from her to the big one and… danced. He shuffled his feet around before pointing at the sky. Big Dummy nodded and stepped back, his cock sliding out of her mouth with a thick squelch. It was dripping with cum and spit right in front of Patcher’s face, but at least it was out of her. The other basic AIs stepped back as well.

“NOW are you okay?” Psych asked as he stepped up to her. The mob of blanks never made a move to stop or address him beyond standing at attention.

“Yea… what did you do to them?” Patcher steadied herself on her knees, looking around at them as she wiped off her mouth. “Is this that like, psychic mind control stuff?”

“Not really Don’t you guys play Fort Fight?” Patcher shook her head. She was aware of some cross promotion between their games and that Psych played a lot of it on his phone, but she’d never touched another game. Sometimes they talked about doing a crossover special with Team Fortress, but that was more fan theory than anything.

Psych sighed. “It’s part of the meme culture. There’s no voicelines in FF, so when all you have is basic emotes and gestures, you have to speak their language. It’s clearly programmed into these guys. First you wave hello, then T-pose to establish dominance. Let them know you’re in charge. Then you do the running man so they know to get moving and do the disco pose pointing where they should back away. Then you do the floss to make them stop and get ready. Or if you just feel like celebrating, but that’s any of the dances. If you’re a newb, anyway.”

“Wow… thank you!” Patcher threw her arms around Psych’s neck, getting the short psychic to cringe as her sticky hands clung to his back. “You saved me! I thought I was going to have to fuck those weirdies forever! No offense, by the way!” she called, looking over her shoulder at the blanks.

“Yes! Yes offense, Patch! They’re Dummies. They’re not even in the game besides playtesting and zombie mode. They can’t think beyond what you tell them, so you’re not hurting their feelings,” Psych chided her. “Even I know that.”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t play nice,” Patcher said sweetly, wiping some of he cum-slick hair from her face. She kissed Psych on the cheek, leaving a pink lipstick mark in her wake. “Really, though. Thanks. Now can we get back to the main servers?”

“Yes, fine. Just promise you’ll take a shower once we’re there,” Psych sighed. He preformed a quick cabbage patch at the Dummies. They did the floss and then dabbed in return. “Also the creeps say goodbye.”

“Awwww! Byebye, guys!” Patcher waved to them as she followed Psych to the edge of the void, blinking back to her friends.

[USERJ HAS LOGGED IN]

[Hey, guys. Systems down.]

The Dummies crumbled into a heap of disconnected limbs and heads.

[I knew I left this thing running. They’re gonna burn this PC out, I swear… hey, run diagnostics real quick.]

The incomprehensible runes of the high creators flooded the void.

[Okay, cool. And initiate deep diagnostics analysis.]

A far more complex code loaded up. Rather than “frames per second” and “CharHP.file,” it had far less computerized files.

Happiness. Hunger. Intelligence. Adaptability. Empathy. Libido. Core AI Attachment. Character Depth. Detachment.

[Good. Happiness and Empathy is way up. Libido’s a little up there, but the Squad looks like they’re having fun. Have a good break, you guys. You’ve earned it. Mommy loves you, babies.]