Mini Upate! Goblin Diaries 5: The Tribe

I'll be adding this to the master file, but I wanted to show that I've started back up on this one. It's probably going to be more slice of life than the original sweetness fuckfest it was, but nice to check back in with everyone. So I also kept the lapse in time in-universe, as quickly comes up... the last journal entry was in May. I'll be adding this to a bigger update some day too when it goes up.

And for especially new faces, it's a sequal from https://www.patreon.com/posts/goblin-diaries-11758962 

>November 7th. Damn, it's been a while. Things got kind of... weird after the wedding. That is, things got normal. Basically, I had a whole lot of work, sex and kids going on while maintaining the centaurs, troll, fairies, skeleton/ghost and genie living on my property. Bizarre shit, but the fact that it's just everyday life kind of made me run out of reasons to write in the journal. It's only back on my mind because of Agent Decker recommending it as a part of our new project.

Everyone is great on my end. The girls are literally growing every day. They're nearly a year old (December 27th, if we're going by when they hatched), and they basically look fully grown. Junka and Debrii are taller than their mother, and Boosa has been for months. I'm pretty proud to say that they've even started wearing clothes around the house. Not Scrappa, at least, but they're turning out shockingly smart and mature for how I imagined them based on Scrappa. My goblin bride's leveled out between her limited pregnancy intelligence and her normal state, so she's bright, but she's still on the primitive side of things.

Gruunda, our local troll, has basically a tiny art studio in her new shed. Nobody visits,  but she hangs up a few and she's still making good money on her art commissions. She's even done some cam-streaming stuff; she downloaded a program that changes your face around, so she looks like a CG troll. I cannot stop laughing when I watch.

The fairies are honoring their bargain and staying the hell out of our way, which it sounds like is the best we could hope for. I leave them the occasional baked good or the like out at our designated meeting spot. Abby is glad to run it out or do some light chores as our part-time nanny ghost, though Scuttlebutt keeps trying to snatch and run away with her leg bones.

Ven and Tiniel are pregnant, and I dare not ask how the quadrupedal lesbians achieved this. Surprisingly, Ven is apparently going to be the birth mother. I would have expected the much smaller and ladylike Tiniel to be the mama, but lesbian monster births are something I'm not even going to pretend to understand.

This is the big reason I'm making this journal entry... I'm going to become a Bicka. I mean, I am technically, but a full blown chief. The leader of most of the living goblins in the United States. Agent Decker worked with me on and off until she offered to unload the tribe of goblins that I'd fought off earlier that year on me and my Grandpa's old property. Scrappa's very proud instead of jealous, and the kids seem excited. I was a little nervous to start, but I've made a few visits to the lab. It's this simple office building on the outside, but inside it's all pristine labs and glass cages containing raging werewolves or rolling slime monsters. The Order has had me sit down with the occasional goblin from the tribe, and they're always psyched to see me.

"True Bicka!" is a common greeting. "Stay a while and eat!" Even their chief Doprup seems happy to see me, even after I beaned some of his guys in the face with a bat.

The goblins have been getting by in their own large cell, but they're clearly not in the best condition there. Decker has been giving them everything they need, and while they were temporarily content with this they're getting confused. It's not had to understand why, but that's probably because of all of my experience. Goblins aren't used to having it good. They're used to scavenging and poking around and working for everything. Even Scrappa, in her life she sees as heavenly, likes to busy herself with some chores or just snooping beneath the couch sometimes. A big blank room won't do much for them.

I told Decker that I could fit them but that I wouldn't be much help. I had work and the kids plus all my other "guests" on the property. Decker asked me some basics, ran some numbers, and matched my wages plus expenses if I went full time caretaker for the property as a monster reserve. I have the tribe's shipment planned for this weekend.

>November 9th. My shipment of goblin tribe arrived! The disguised truck arrives (of course the truckload of goblins had to be disguised as a garbage truck) and unloads a few sealed crates with air holes punched in. I sign off a few things with an agent, flash our badges, and he opens them up. Out spills a collected total of 97 goblins, all of which had been trying to lean up against the door to listen.

"Good news! Your Bicka Steve is back, and I saved you from your cages!" I tell them the good news in goblish, a line I'd worked out as the most positive between me and Decker. I spot the two I was most looking for near the middle: Doprup and Aket. Doprup was their former chief, a chubby male who had given up rather quickly at the threat of violence. Aket was his "best screamer," sort of his go-to goblin and messenger of choice. She had long blue hair and a crude stud in her nose, same as last time. She looked a little grumpier than the rest, but the others look pretty thrilled to be there.

I lay down the ground rules for them, and they're very similar to the ones I gave the fey. No coming into my house (the guard troll and local ghost will see to that), no hurting the other creatures on the property (short of hunting for food), no leaving the property, and always answering to me. In return, I offer them gifts and protection; specifically the extra crate that Decker shipped out of snack cakes and stale bread.

I start basic; an agent takes a headcount while I take each goblin one at a time in a line. I learn each one's name, give him my personal greeting and assurance, and give him some food. It goes well for a while until Hooga tries to push his way to the front of the line. Hooga's a big one; he's about four feet tall and muscular with this big black mop of hair. He's still nothing on my scrawny six feet of human.

"HEY!" As soon as I shout, every goblin (including Hooga) freezes. A few of them cower as I sit up and stop my interview with Jux, a pink-headed female. "What's the problem, garbage bag?! Are you special?!"

Hooga's ears immediately droop. No goblin ever likes being called out, let alone being yelled at by someone in power. Never by someone bigger than them. He shuffles back into line, but I walk towards him. He cringes as I take his shoulder and move him back to where he was in line instead of where he was cutting. "You're a big guy, Hooga. You're special," I tell him, loud enough for most of them to hear. "You're strong and brave. I can see that. You a big eater?" Of course he was. He was obviously a brute like Boosa, and they only got that big by eating enough to fuel their crazy metabolism.

"Yea, sir," he grumbles back.

"Wel everyone is equal here. What's your name?"

"Hooga, sir," he says a bit dejectedly. He likely lived a good life as Doprup's muscle.

"I'll tell you what, Hooga. Get out of line and walk it back and forth. I'll get you a share of food just like everyone else right now, and then another when you're done if you keep everyone in line, okay?"

It's a good first impression in my mine. Hooga definitely pulls his weight from then on, and while he only has to nudge one or two back into place, his being there does establish another sense of order over the tribe. I don't think it's prison rules if you're already the biggest guy there, but it works.

In the end, I bring the tribe together for one major task. We have a bunch of pallets of wood, food and basic supplies from The Order that need to go deep in the woods where they're going to live. Everyone who helps pull the loads gets to take part in a massive feast tonight. Between nearly a hundred of the little buggers plus me, Scrappa and the kids helping out, we make some decent time and we're all hauled into the spot we picked out for the village. I get some goblins on fire and building some huts while I see about that feast; the pizza place doesn't bother asking why when I but over $150 in pizza off them, but the tribe goes mental for the greasiest and tastiest food they’ve had in months. Scrappa stays happily by my side all day like my little secretary, and we end it sitting on a pallet and eat with the kids

By the time the sun's down, we've got a good fire pit going and enough simple huts put up for everyone to cram inside with plenty of cheap pillows and blankets. Of course, we go back to the house. Bicka's privilege and all.