Scaling back content until I get back in the groove
Added 2018-09-12 17:20:34 +0000 UTCDepression and stress fucking suck. I've been trying my best to write, but as all of you know this summer has been very bumpy. I'm working on the next batch of stories, but honestly the fear of disappointing everyone sometimes make me terrified to even touch my laptop, but then I'm not writing which will only make things worse, and it turns into a vicious cycle very easily.
When I do write, though, I feel genuinely happy and alive. It's hard to describe, but I do want to get more stories out for everyone to enjoy. I think I just need to take some of the pressure off because it can be very daunting to see the workload coming at me at the start of every month.
My usual goal is 25,000 words for all my patrons, which is easy to hit when I'm on top of my game. But after several rough months I haven't been able to hit that, and I feel like I'm constantly scrambling just to break even, but still fail.
For that reason I'm lowering the amount of stories I'll put out temporarily, just so that I can have more breathing room and hopefully get back into my regular writing habit. All patrons will get 5,000 words, or about one story a month guranteed, while the $5 plus patrons will get an extra 10,000 words, probably 2 or 3 stories worth of content. This is about the amount of content I produced in July and August. I still think for $5 this is a fair amount of content, although when I'm able to produce more reliably again I hope to raise it up to where it was.
My top priority is still working on the major series that all of you love, and I'm rereading my past work to make sure that I'm putting out the content that you deserve. I hope all of you understand me having to scale back my content just a little, and I promise it's only temporary until I can get my feet back under me. I hope to have some stuff for all of you soon and I'm sorry for the stretches of radio silence. I'll try to be more upfront about what I'm going through and how I'm progressing
Comments
Focus on getting better. :/ I had to leave my work because of depression and anxiety, so now writing for my patreon is all I have. I know some of what it's like to feel GOOD in the rhythm, and how - even though that feeling is healthy and good - it's so hard to get back in the groove, because part of depression (at least for me) is the inability to self motivate. :/
Spark
2018-11-16 19:26:37 +0000 UTCI’ll try to keep this short, as somebody who suffers from depression and crippling anxiety I know the pains you feel when trying to make people happy through your
Rober Ryan Clark
2018-09-23 02:25:04 +0000 UTCSammy we love you. I know how it is when a person gets depressed. But you never need to worry about disappointing us. Everything of yours I have ever read has been top notch. Short of you writing "I quit" I doubt anyone would be disappointed in your work. Things might not go as we anticipate, but I know you'll give us the quality we have come to know you produce.
Atsuko Hikari
2018-09-22 04:23:32 +0000 UTCI've been there. Take it easy and be healthy. Know that we don't feel that you're letting us down. We appreciate you and we want you to be well. Take a breather, and write -- because it makes you feel good. Do it because you enjoy it and don't worry too much about deadlines or word counts.
2018-09-13 05:56:20 +0000 UTCIt's $5 a month for some of the best content of this type I can find anywhere. I'm perfectly happy.
Feehan1999
2018-09-13 02:54:56 +0000 UTCI think you have made a wise decision on trying to take the pressure off yourself. It is no good putting extra pressure on yourself and making yourself unwell. Your long term patrons know you have been through a hard few months and we understand that the pressure to produce with all that going on hasn't been easy. We will always stand by you so don't worry about disappointing us as that is impossible for you to do. You couldn't disappoint us if you tried. :). Don't set yourself targets for the next couple of months and write for fun and your enjoyment, get the creative juices going again and the fun of writing back. Then once you have done that and your head and heart are back in the right place and groove then you can start doing your usual workload. We are all here not just for your stories but to support you when you need it remember that and we are always there for you. Take your time and the stories will come. :) x
Paul Maxey
2018-09-12 23:38:11 +0000 UTCI'll just echo what the others have said. You're probably being to hard on yourself. No need to change things up on my account.
Dorian Alton
2018-09-12 23:35:12 +0000 UTCI love your writing, so obviously, the more I get to read of it, the better. However, I really think you're being too hard on yourself. In my opinion, your writing is consistently top-notch and you've have never ever disappointed me since I've joined your patreon (2 or so years ago). Please do what you need to take care of your physical and mental health and I'll keep looking forward to reading your stories in the future.
Mike Bender
2018-09-12 22:38:54 +0000 UTCPlease just take care of yourself first. That’s the most important thing.
BZArcher (Blind Zen Archer)
2018-09-12 18:11:49 +0000 UTCSam I personally don't think you need to worry so much. You are doing great so far. I love you for what you do and don't think you will fail at all. ^-^ Its okay, these things happen to everyone. This is coming from a person who has diagnosed for life with depression, don't be so hard on yourself and don't dwell to much on these things. If you just focus on what needs to get done then you will be fine. ^-^ I believe in you, and if you ever want to chat then you can just message me okay.
Zelkova Tatl
2018-09-12 17:27:54 +0000 UTCYou are overthinking, I can only speak for myself but I'm quite happy with the amount and the content you are putting out. Just keep doing you, I know I'll still be around to see what you put out.
Drafter
2018-09-12 17:24:56 +0000 UTC
