Werepanther Paranormal Hunter 4 Chapter 2

“What the hell?” the inhuman creature snarled as he slammed his fist into the doorway and was once again met with a magical barrier. “You got this place boobie trapped?”

As the man spoke, his face continued to melt and twist like it was made of play doh until it was nothing but a mashed-up, lumpy mess with two sunken eyes and a non-symmetrical mouth hole.

“A golem?” Ada gasped behind me. “I haven’t seen one of those in years… You really are bringing out the best of the best, Carter.”

“The freaky dude from Lord of the Rings?” I scoffed as I watched the flesh on the creature’s hand begin to bubble and twist.

“A golem,” Janine repeated with an emphasis on the “o” sound. “It’s a creature from Jewish mythology, one that’s made of mud and stone and can shapeshift.”

Sure enough, as Janine continued to speak, the golem’s fist began to expand as it turned into a jagged boulder the size of my head. He let out a roar as he hauled back and then slammed the rock into the doorway, but there was a flash of black magic as his blow simply ricocheted off and sent him stumbling backwards.

“You can’t keep me out, Werepanther,” the golem growled. “Your kind doesn’t belong in the world of the living. Once I slaughter you and your friends, then I can take both of your fancy businesses and make this city bow down to me, and me alone. The time of the golem is upon us!”

Though the creature still had a humanoid figure and wore clothes on his body, every inch of his flesh was now contorted and squished like an overripe tomato that had been dropped on the ground. Rocks of various sizes flecked his pliable skin, from tiny little pebbles to jagged chunks of gray that rivaled a baseball in size. Some of them now jutted out through his blazer and pants to give him a spiked appearance, and I was now tempted to say “Beetlejuice” three times in a row to see if that would send him back to wherever the fuck he came from.

However, the golem didn’t seem to let up.

His sunken eyes narrowed as he hauled back once more, and then he slammed his fist into the wall beside the doorway. Again, his fist just bounced off like a rubber ball against concrete.

“Keep trying all you want, pal,” I said. “You’re not getting anywhere with the protective hex we’ve got on this building.”

“You coward!” The golem’s voice now sounded a bit gurgled, like he was constantly speaking through a fishbowl filled with water. “Come out and face me like a man.”

“Well, that’s just the pot calling the kettle black,” I scoffed as I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow at the fucker. “You were just trying to sneak into our building in disguise, where I assume you would have then tried to kill us using the element of surprise.”

“It’s five against one,” the golem argued. “I wanted to even the odds.”

“Sounds like a bitch move to me, House of Wax.” Naomi shrugged.

“The only bitch I see here is you, witch,” our enemy growled. “Come out here, and I’ll smash that pretty little head of yours into a bloody pulp.”

“I think I’m good,” the red-and-black-haired woman said with a smirk. “Magic is a hell of a tool, isn’t it?”

The golem snarled as he transformed his other hand into a long, jagged rock and then began to pummel the wall with his two weapons, back and forth.

He wasn’t going to get through Naomi’s spell, but he was already starting to get on my nerves. Not to mention, he knew where we lived. Even if he couldn’t come inside, we would eventually have to go out, and he’d surely be waiting for us. I didn’t know if this dude had to eat or drink or do any of the normal shit we humans had to do, but for all I knew he could just plant himself outside and wait around for us to exit the building, which wouldn’t be good for business.

Not to mention, having a pissed-off shapeshifting monster walking around the city right now was no good for anybody.

Still, if we wanted to fight this asshole, it would be on our terms.

“Everybody?” I whistled as I waggled my finger in a circle and looked back at my friends. “Gather round. We’ve got some strategizing to do.”

“Where are you going, coward?” the golem demanded.

“Just sit tight, sweetheart,” I mocked back over my shoulder. “We’ll be out to deal with you shortly.”

“Pussy!” The golem let out another gurgled roar, and then he began to slam his fists into the building even harder.

“That’s not going to be good for business.” Ada frowned. “Even if he doesn’t do any damage to the club, I don’t think people are going to be lining up for admittance if they see an angry clay monster hanging around.”

“Tell me about it,” I sighed. “Naomi? Do you know any like, cloaking spells or anything? The last thing we need is a bunch of people looking at the nightclub and seeing a giant clay monster. There might not be people around this part of town during the day, but it’s a different story once the sun starts to set.”

“Cloaking spells are simple.” Naomi smirked as her hands began to glow with silver.

The witch walked over to the door and pressed her hand up against the threshold, right across from where the golem was standing. She whispered something to herself as she touched the metal frame gently, and then her magic began to spread.

“Come out and face me, bitch,” the monster snarled, but Naomi just kept going.

“There,” she finally said as she pulled away. “My magic isn’t as strong as it used to be, but I put an image cloning spell on this entire city block.”

“Which means…?” Leia asked.

“Which means anybody who is walking within one block of this building will see it as it was an hour ago,” Naomi explained. “So they won’t see the pissed-off golem. Like I said, though, it’s a pretty weak spell. We have to get rid of this guy ASAP, because it’ll wear off within the hour.”

“We have to get rid of him anyways,” I explained. “He’s too big of a threat to just leave alive. What exactly are we dealing with here? Other than somebody who can transform his hands into deadly rock weapons?”

“Golems are particularly difficult to kill,” Janine said with a sigh. “They are creatures of the earth, so they don’t have any internal organs or bones or anything like that.”

“So we cannot disembowel them?” Ada grumbled. “That’s no fun.”

“How have people killed them before, then?” I asked the redhead. “Like, in those Hebrew mythology stories, how did they defeat the creature?”

“They don’t,” Janine said as she pushed her glasses up her nose. “Usually, in the tales, the creatures exist until whoever brought them to life says they should return to the ground.”

“How the fuck is this guy on his own, then?” Naomi grumbled. “I don’t see a handler around anywhere.”

“I don’t care how he got free or who his master is,” I said. “I just want to make sure we send him back to the clay from which he was formed.”

“Perhaps we could smash him?” Ada suggested.

“No way,” Leia scoffed. “His entire body is made of clay and rock. That’d be a minor inconvenience, at most.”

“Well then, little miss water-bender,” the succubus teased Leia. “What’s your master plan?”

“Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” I said. “Leia can control water now, right? Well… What if we tried to sweep the fucker away? Break down his body into mud.”

“Won’t that simply delay the inevitable?” Janine questioned. “You’re probably right, and the water will break him apart, but then what? Golems can reform their bodies.”

“His actual figure is made up of rocks, right?” I asked. “Well… What if we used the water to break him apart, and then we smash all his pieces before they reform? Maybe he can’t build his body back together if it’s literally been pulverized into dust. We can even container and scatter the dust in different locations.”

“That might work.” Janine nodded. “Golems are said to be invincible, but as far as I know, there are no known accounts of them going up against a werepanther. You’ve been able to kill every other paranormal beast, so I’d hypothesize you’d be able to kill him somehow, too.”

“Even if this plan works, where am I going to find that much water around here in the first place?” Leia asked with a tilt of her head. “That would take a lot of glasses, and I’d hate to make Ada’s water bill shoot up.”

“Awwww.” Ada placed her hand against her cleavage and giggled. “Thanks for looking out for me, love.”

“I’m with Leia on this one,” Janine said. “The Ohio River is close, but it seems like it would be a bit counterproductive to try and have him chase us all the way out there.”

“We don’t have to go to the Ohio.” I shook my head. “There’s a fuckton of water right here, beneath us. In the sewers.”

“Taking him out with literal shit water?” Naomi raised an eyebrow. “I dig it.”

“You can’t hide forever, you bloody fucker!” the golem screamed at the top of his lungs from outside.

“Ughhh.” I rolled my eyes. “I guess we should get out there and appease the walking blob of splooge, before he tucks his tail between his legs and runs away.”

“Don’t get too cocky, Carter.” Janine pursed her lips and fiddled with her glasses. “He may look harmless, but golems are very deadly creatures.”

“I know he is,” I said. “I’m just hoping my idea works, and we can end this battle quickly before he causes any real damage.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Leia asked. “You get him close to a sewer grate, and then I blast him with the water?”

“If you think you can pull that off,” I said.

“She can,” Naomi interjected before Leia could answer. “I’ll help her. You just get that dumb, ugly fucker into position, and we’ll do the rest.”

“Alright, then,” I said as I puffed out my chest. “Time to go Werepanther.”

I closed my eyes and silently relinquished my control of the beast inside. The second I did so, there was a throbbing, pulsating feeling in my skull, and then I felt my body start to transform. Thankfully, ever since I’d killed Ichthigho and gained insta-transform abilities, the transition between human and werepanther didn’t really hurt any more. Instead, it kinda just made my whole body tingle, like I’d slept on it wrong or something.

Still, a dull throb coursed through my body as my appendages elongated, and my hair turned thick and coarse. My hands and feet spread out into four large, meaty paws, while my teeth sharpened themselves into deadly fangs. Soon, the transformation was complete, and I let out a roar as I stared out the door and right at the golem.

“Ohhh-hoho!” The golem let out an amused laugh as he stopped his attack. “That’s more like it. Killing you in your werepanther form is gonna get me way more attention, anyways.”

“I’ll engage him head-on,” I explained to my friends. “That way he thinks we’re actually stupid enough to think we can kill him the old fashioned way. Leia and Naomi, you guys get into position. Ada? You come with me and help me lure him over to a manhole.”

“What about me?” Janine asked. “I can help, too.”

“You’re our lead strategist,” I explained to the redhead. “There’s a chance this plan might not work the way we intended it to, and we’ll need a backup. Plus, all you have to do is shoot some of your luck powers our way, and you can do that from behind the hex’s protection. Now… If you’ll excuse me…”

I turned my attention back to the golem, who now beckoned me with both of his middle fingers.

He was really cocky for somebody who was about to die.

I growled as I shot off like a bullet toward my opponent. As I ran, the golem transformed his left hand back into a large rock, and I mentally prepared myself for what lay ahead.

This guy seemed like a bruiser, through and through. That meant I probably didn’t have to be too tactful or cautious about my fighting style, but instead I’d need to rely on pure agility to win the day.

Ada flew through the air beside me as we headed for the doorway, and the succubus already had her claws held back against her face and at the ready.

“You brought a friend?” the golem cackled. “How fun.”

Ada passed through the door first, and she quickly changed her trajectory upward. Her wings turned toward the sky as her entire body shot up, and Ada’s claws dragged across the fucker’s chest and face as she moved.

A few small flecks of muck flew off his body, but the golem was otherwise unfazed.

I crouched down once I got about twenty feet away from my target, and then I launched myself forward and tossed out my arms. There was a wet squelch as my right shoulder slammed into the creature, but my momentum stopped cold in an instant. Then, before I could even process what had happened, I felt the cold, rocky muck of the golem’s body wrap itself around my shoulder.

He had me in his grasp, and now I was wide open for an attack.

Fuck that.

I slammed my feet into the ground, jerked my upper half backward, and pulled myself free of the golem.

Then I was forced to duck down just as the rocky, club-like hand of the creature swished past my head, and I proceeded to sink both my front claws into the golem’s stomach. I stabbed my claws into his body, yanked back, and pulled out a chunk of mud and rock the size of a basketball, but when I tossed it to the side, I noticed the golem’s wound just closed itself up without much fanfare.

Damn, Janine was right. This guy was gonna be hard to kill.

“Hold still!” the golem sneered as he tried to stab me with a jagged, long appendage.

I rolled away from his attack and then watched as Ada slammed into him from behind.

The succubus sunk her claws into the sides of the golem’s head, continued on with her momentum, and held on for dear life. The golem growled as his head was yanked off his shoulders with a wet splurch, but his neck started to regrow it almost instantly.

Still, that gave me a chance to try and attack.

I leapt forward as I twisted my body in the air and then caught the golem with a roundhouse kick to the chest.

Where my foot promptly stuck into his gooey body with a wet squish.

Even though the fucker’s body absorbed the impact from my blow, the sheer force of the attack caused him to stumble back a few inches.

But my foot was still caught.

The golem raised his stony hand and took aim at my leg, and my heart began to hammer in my chest. Even if I was a werepanther with superhuman strength and endurance, a freaking boulder to the knee would cause some serious damage.

I had to escape, and I had to escape now.

In one swift motion, I twisted the top of my body around so I was facing the ground. Then I sank my front claws into the pavement as deep as I could and pulled myself forward with all my strength. I heard a squelch as my foot yanked free of the mud, and I scurried forward seconds before I heard the sound of rock against cement behind me.

“Lotta good all that strength does you, eh?” the golem mocked, and when I turned around, I saw his head had completely regenerated. “I’m invincible. I’ve lived for a millenia, and I certainly didn’t live that long just to see some newbie take over the entire paranormal scene.”

“That’s your own damn fault,” I scoffed. “You were too chickenshit to take a shot at Div or Orglan or Ada all these years, and now you’re bitching about the power structure.”

“Difference was I actually liked all them,” the golem snarled as he lifted his left hand back behind his head. “You seem like an asshole.”

As the golem thrust his hand forward, several small, jagged bits of rock shot toward me like a handful of ninja stars, so I jumped forward, threw my hands out against the ground, and did a jumping somersault over the incoming projectiles. I didn’t even have a second to compose myself when I landed, and the golem’s rocky fist slammed into my stomach and caused me to double over in pain. A sharp ache tore through the front of my body as I tried to overcome the blow, but the golem had other plans.

Before I could react, the fucker thrust his boulder hand forward, and I was tossed backward like a ragdoll. I slammed into the pavement and rolled for a bit before I was able to flip up onto my feet and halt my momentum.

“Carter!” Janine gasped from the doorway behind me. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” I confirmed with a growl. “You thought of any other ideas yet?”

“I’m working on it,” the redhead said as I watched the golem pull back his hand again. “The battle is stressing me out.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Naomi and Leia as they peeked out of a nearby alleyway. Meanwhile, Ada banked around in the sky with the former head of the golem still in her hands.

I flipped away from another onslaught of jagged projectiles, which slammed into the wall of Ada’s club and then bounced away with a flash of dark magic.

“You really love this place, don’t ya?” the golem spat. “It’ll be the first thing I tear down once you and your little concubines are crushed beneath my feet.”

Ada let out a sharp whistle to draw the golem’s attention, and then she launched his former decapitated head at him like it was a fastball.

The golem held up his arm to shield his face, and the head slammed into his chest with a wet thunk. The monster’s body instantly began to bubble as it reabsorbed the hunk of muddy material, but Ada’s plan had worked nonetheless.

The golem was distracted.

I motioned to Ada as I ran toward our opponent, and then I pointed upward. The succubus must have understood what I was getting at, because she grinned from ear to ear as her clawed fingers opened wide.

Then Ada let out a battle cry as she sunk her claws into the fucker’s shoulder, right as I wrapped my arms around his legs in a powerful bear hug. I sunk my back claws into the concrete as Ada turned her body upward, and the golem let out a grunt of surprise as his body was pulled in two separate directions.

There was a sickly squelch as the golem’s torso was separated from his waist, and Ada flew him up into the sky.

Meanwhile, the fucker’s wet, muddy flesh was cold against my fur as I held onto his lower half, so once Ada was clear, I hefted up the golem’s legs and launched them over in the direction of Naomi and Leia.

There was a manhole cover about ten feet away from the golem’s severed waist, so I wasted no time in running over there and yanking it free from its metal pegs.

“Get ready,” I commanded Leia and Naomi.

“Can you feel the water?” Naomi asked as she placed a hand against Leia’s shoulder and bowed her head. “Let the power of your God flow through you, dear… Don’t fight it. Embrace it, and you will be given all the glory of his might.”

Leia’s blue eyes seemed to glow even brighter as the skin on her arms shifted into a shade of pale blue. Then the Poliwarm woman reached out as if she were trying to cast a spell and aimed her open palms in the direction of the now-open manhole.

“Incoming, loves!” Ada declared as she flew down and released her grip on the golem’s torso.

“Now!” I commanded Leia, and the blonde woman’s brow furrowed.

There was a gurgling sound from deep beneath the city streets, followed by something that reminded me of a rushing river.

“You can do it, Leia,” Naomi whispered. “Keep at it.”

The Poliwarm’s face turned a shade of purple as she concentrated on the task at hand, and her body began to tremble. I heard the sounds of the rushing water growing closer and closer, but I held my breath as the golem’s two halves began to slither and crawl back toward each other.

He would be back on his feet in a few seconds here, and if Leia wasn’t able to hold onto her spell, we’d have to start from the top.

“Come on, Leia…” I whispered as the golem’s body reformed before my very eyes.

“Typical brute force moron,” the golem taunted once he was back on his feet. “What part of ‘immortal’ don’t you understand?”

The golem hauled back his hand as he prepared to throw another shot of jagged rocks in my direction, and I got ready to dodge.

That’s when the sound of rushing water turned into a roar, and a huge, raging river of sewage shot up through the manhole like a geyser.

Leia moved both her hands to the right as she let out a scream of frustration, and the river fucking twisted around in midair like a snake.

The golem’s eyes grew wide as he turned to run, but Leia’s geyser smashed into his feet and dissolved them in an instant. He opened his mouth to say something, but the blast of disgusting liquid twisted upward and engulfed him completely.

Leia’s face was scrunched into a pained expression as she held the attack. Her cheeks were red, and her body was trembling as she let out a frustrated scream.

However, it was paying off.

We watched as the golem’s entire body dissolved into the liquid, which turned from a sickly green into a darker shade of brown as the mud mixed into it.

When Leia finally released her spell, the liquid fell to the ground and splashed all over the pavement. There were bits of varying sizes of rock scattered across the ground, but that was the only sign of the golem whatsoever.

“Holy shit,” Leia gasped as she collapsed onto her knees. “Holy shit… I- I did it!”

“You sure did, my friend!” Naomi said with a proud smile. “Our foe has been vanquished into nothingness.”

“Immortal my ass,” I scoffed as I looked over the bits of rock on the ground. “Everyone? Keep these fucking rocks from clumping together! Smash them into dust!”

I ran forward, stomped on a few of the pebbles, and cringed as the jagged rocks turned to dust beneath my feet and sent small, sharp pains through my pads. Still, I wasn’t going to let up. I fell down on all fours before I smashed a couple more pebbles with my front paws and stepped on two more with my back.

Ada ran along the pavement frantically as she reached down, scooped up pebbles by the handful, and crumbled them in her fist until they were nothing more than fine dust. At the same time, Naomi blasted her telekinetic silver magic around several small clumps of rock and tossed them away in the opposite direction of Ada’s throw, and Leia grabbed the pebbles one at a time with her tongue and then tossed them skyward.

Still, they kept trying to come back together like magnets drawn to each other.

This motherfucker had a healing factor equivalent to freaking Deadpool, and he was reforming too fast to try and separate him into different containers.

That’s when the lightbulb turned on in my head.

Maybe we only needed one container.

I turned away from the battle and began to run back toward the club.

“Carter?” Ada asked as I ran. “Where are you going?”

“I have an idea!” I explained. “Just keep trying to slow him down as best you can.”

“I can’t even tell if we are slowing him down,” Naomi grunted as she tossed away a few more pebbles. “There are so many of these damn things.”

“Janine!” I shouted as I ran into the lobby of the building, but the redhead was nowhere to be found. “Janine? Where are you--”

Just as the words were leaving my mouth, my girlfriend appeared through the “back of house” doors with a frantic expression on her face.

“There you are!” the redhead gasped. “I was watching him reform, and I started to panic. I think I may know how to beat him, but I’m going to need your strength to make it work.”

“The safe?” I asked as a smirk twisted up my lips. “Are you talking about the safe?”

“How did you know?” Janine blinked at me behind her glasses.

“Because great minds think alike.” I winked, and then I started toward the doors.

“I just assumed if we couldn’t actually kill him, then--” Janine started, but I finished her sentence for her.

“We could seal him away for all eternity?” I said with a nod.

“Well, maybe.” The redhead winced as we walked down the hallways of the club. “There’s no way to guarantee a safe will last for all eternity. He’ll break out of it eventually, but I’d imagine that would hold him at bay for at least a while.”

“I could live with that,” I confirmed.

If we couldn’t straight-up kill the bastard, then maybe we could at least imprison him.

“I already emptied it out,” Janine said as we opened up the door to Ada’s office. “It’s just way too heavy for me to carry.”

Sure enough, there were dozens of stacks of hundred-dollar bills scattered throughout the office, along with a few small trinket boxes, a pistol, and several strange occult items I didn’t recognize. We’d have to get a new safe ASAP so these precious items weren’t just left sitting out unprotected, but in this case, it was a temporary sacrifice I was willing to make.

I walked over to the small four-by-four safe, crouched down, and threw my paws around its bottom. It had been bolted to the ground, but I was able to pull it up and away from its restraints without even a hint of resistance. The safe felt no heavier than a plastic tote box to me, but Janine’s chocolate-brown eyes were wide with awe as she watched me saunter over to the doorway.

“What?” I chuckled. “You knew I’d be able to carry it.”

“That thing is like, s-six hundred pounds,” Janine sputtered. “And you’re carrying it around like it’s made of cardboard.”

“You can marvel at my strength later,” I teased and then shot her a wink. “Trust me… This isn’t the only thing I can pick up effortlessly.”

“Just get out there and finish it.” The redhead smirked, bit her lip, and waggled her glowing gold fingers at me. “I’ll be sending you all the luck I can.”

With that, I rushed back out to the lobby and then out the main doors of the club, and when I stepped out onto the street, I could see the golem was now pretty much fully formed again.

Ada, Leia, and Naomi hit the bastard with everything they had, but he just kept reforming faster than they could take him out.

“How many times do I gotta tell you bitches?” the golem snarked as his head fully reformed. “Immortal.”

That’s what I was hoping.

I took a running start toward the fucker, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of Janine’s yellow luck magic.

The golem’s attention was fully on my friends at the moment, so it was now or never.

He tossed a handful of jagged rocks at Ada, who simply used her wings to twirl out of the way. Leia and Naomi both tried to snag the golem’s legs, but his muddy, formless figure simply slipped right through the Poliwarm’s tongue and the witch’s spells and then plopped back onto his body.

I was only about twenty feet away from my target at this point, so I sprant up into the air, lifted the open safe up above my head, and took aim at the golem.

He never even saw me coming.

As I landed on the golem, I slammed the safe down onto his body at the crown of his head. There was a wet squish as six hundred pounds of metal crashed onto his body, and the fucker disappeared as every molecule in his figure was forced inside the steel prison.

I quickly flipped the safe up onto its legs, slammed the door shut, and spun the locking mechanism to the right as hard as I could.

“What are you doing?” the golem demanded in a muffled voice from inside the safe. “I am immortal!”

“Damn right, you are,” I growled. “And now you’re going to spend a long ass time locked in this safe. Naomi, could you add some kind of protective or strengthening spell around this thing?”

“I can cast a lock and key spell on it, as well,” Naomi said as she stepped forward. “That would offer an extra layer of protection.”

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Well, it’s a very basic spell that could be busted by just about anyone who knows a lick of magic,” the witch admitted. “But it would get the job done in this situation. Basically, it’s a binding spell, and it creates magic chains that can only be ‘unlocked’ by a magic user. They also disappear when the original spellcaster dies, but I don’t intend on doing that any time soon.”

“Sounds good to me.” I grinned.

“I knew it would work!” Janine declared as she stepped outside to join us.

“You fools…” the golem’s voice chuckled. “Don’t you know my body is completely formless? I can slip out of here in-- in…”

“What’s the matter?” I smirked. “The safe a little too airtight for your tastes? Ada doesn’t fuck around when it comes to protecting her money.”

“Exactly.” The succubus nodded. “I couldn’t risk the possibility of somebody slipping some gas inside, lighting it, and then blowing the safe open from the inside. The seals are tighter than a virgin’s vag.”

“Then I’ll just wait you out!” The golem’s voice sounded panicked, but he tried to make himself sound tough. “Eventually, you will all pass away, and then this safe will be found by somebody who will figure out how to open it.”

“Oh, no.” I smirked. “Naomi? Would you like to do the honors?”

“With pleasure.” The witch smirked as she stepped over to the safe, summoned silver magic into her hands, and touched the steel. “Mystic ones, hear my pleas… Bind this vessel for all eternity. Let no one lest myself hold its key, and protect it from the eyes of our enemies. Ancient, mystic gods, as I bind myself to you, bind this vessel with your blessed curse.”

As Naomi spoke, small tendrils of magic spread from her fingertips and began to wrap themselves around the safe, and within seconds, the entire metal box was encased by a series of interlocked, glowing magical ropes.

And with that, we had our very own genie in a bottle. Or golem in a safe in this case.

“How about that?” I whistled as I tapped the safe. “Now, we’re going to put you somewhere that nobody will ever find you. Janine? Go bring around the Hummer. And some clothes for me to toss on.”

“Got it.” The redhead nodded, and then she scuttled away to get our stuff.

Meanwhile, I decided to turn back into a human. Ada’s club was located in a somewhat sketchy part of town that was mostly abandoned, but Naomi’s veiling spell would run out soon. I didn’t want to take the risk of being seen any more than I needed to, so I surrounded myself with the dark magic I’d attained from Ichthigho, and then my body started to shift back into its human form. Within seconds, I was standing there in the cold morning with nothing on but a pair of skin-tight spandex shorts.

“You know you can’t win, right?” the golem sneered from his prison. “Even if you bury me in the middle of a forest or lock me away in the desert, the sands of time will always prevail. Even if I must stay in here for centuries, this metal will eventually rust away and crumble, and then I will be free.”

“We’ll see about that,” I said as I saw the headlights of our yellow Hummer pull down the sopping-wet street.

The vehicle came to a stop, and then the back hatch popped open as Janine stepped out cautiously.

“Ew.” She gagged. “I can still smell the sewer water.”

I picked up the safe once more and then carefully moved it over into the back of the Hummer. Once I slammed the hatch shut, I took the clothes that Janine had brought me and tossed them on. It was only a pair of cheap black sweatpants, a dark green hoodie, and a pair of slip-on sneakers, but it was enough to at least cover me up and make me look normal.

Once I was dressed, I walked over to the driver’s side and hopped up into the seat.

“Road trip?” Ada purred. “Where are we going?”

“Somewhere not too far.” I winked. “You all are welcome to join us, if you’d like.”

Ada, Janine, Leia, and Naomi all slipped into the vehicle one-by-one, and then I kicked her into gear and started down the roads of the city.

“Ohhhhhhh,” the golem’s muffled voice snarled from the back of the vehicle. “Taking me out to some remote location to dump me? How original.”

The golem could talk all he wanted, but we were going to get the final laugh. I was taking him to one of the few places where he could never, ever escape.

The river.

We drove on for a few more miles until, finally, we came to an empty strip of concrete that rested just on the border of the Ohio River, and as I placed the Hummer in park, Leia let out a long “ohhhhh.”

“What’s going on?” Naomi asked. “Why are we at the river?”

“Because this will be his final resting place.” I smirked as I killed the engine and stepped out of the vehicle.

I walked back to the hatch, popped it open, and then removed the safe.

“It’s only a matter of time, werepanther,” the metal box snickered. “Everything you own will be mine eventually. Father time is undefeated, my friend.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said. “Yap it up. You won’t have anyone to talk to once I dump you in the Ohio.”

“Th-- the river?” The golem sounded confused, but also terrified.

“That’s right,” I said as I carried the safe over to the edge of the pier. “This thing can get up to one-hundred and fifty feet deep at points, and nobody’s going to come looking for you. And if you somehow do figure out a way to escape? Well… The river is vast and always flowing. Have you ever put mud or sand in a stream of flowing water before? It just scatters into a million different directions.”

“You son of a bitch…” the golem snarled, and then I heard a muffled banging from the inside.

“Oh, yeah,” I added. “Leia and I are also the masters of all waters around these parts, so we’re going to have a talk with our animal friends and tell them to make sure no humans get anywhere near your burial spot. But even if someone did fish up the safe, only a magic user can open it, and soon, there won’t be a magic or paranormal creature within a hundred mile radius that I don’t control. Have a fun eternity. Or at least a longgggg few centuries.”

“Fuck you, werepanther,” the golem growled.

“No, fuck you,” I said as I picked a spot in the middle of the river completely away from any piers or buoys or the like, and then I crouched down and dug my back legs into the pavement. My muscles screamed as I pushed my torso forward and launched the six-hundred pound safe out over the water, where it splashed into the surface with a loud plop.

We all watched with macabre curiosity as the safe sank down beneath the surface and disappeared into the dark, murky waters of the Ohio.

Then it was gone.

“Are you sure nobody will find him?” Janine asked.

“That’s up to Leia,” I said as I patted the Poliwarm on the shoulder. “Master of the Waters and all that jazz.”

“Not gonna lie,” Ada said through a soft moan. “I think this has awoken something inside of me…”

I wasn’t even going to ask.

For now, we needed to savor our groundbreaking victory.

Because if I could defeat an immortal, then I could beat just about anyone who came my way.