QNA #266
Added 2024-04-17 16:50:12 +0000 UTC
Comments
That's good, Ile check out pook. Ile just tell her I don't want to do date night anymore and broken record it.
Iron_hanz
2024-04-24 18:36:41 +0000 UTCStop worrying about what she thinks of it. Write from your own perspective. If you've done the reading, are going to gym, etc. The next step is to start writing field reports. Pook if you haven't read it is good. I got allot out of Hotep's book, the unbreakable rules of masculinity. Create your own independent reality. It's up to her if she wants to enter. Assume she won't.
Op Sec
2024-04-24 18:30:35 +0000 UTCNow that you mention it, that is true, it's definitely a covert contract. If I think about it. I do expect a bit extra of I'm dropping time and money on date nite. How do I stop it without it coming across as overt dred. She will definitely think shits hitting the fan. Her sister is getting a divorce right now. I really like my brother in law he is a good dude.
Iron_hanz
2024-04-24 17:59:01 +0000 UTCThat's interesting, I've actually got to the point now where I would rather work on my business or start another one. She is receptive to initiation. She just wants to control it and it's a turn off. Guess I should try this isn't working. I honestly don't want it more than once a week if it's going to be a,b,c done. I've read the books, Rollos also all 5. I just did a lot of reading of shit books like love and respect. The proper care and feeding of marriage. Lots of Christian style. So no wonder I get the dootie booty
Iron_hanz
2024-04-24 17:08:04 +0000 UTCWould suggest. No more Mr Nice guy, pay attention to covert contracts. and Frame by Stone. What you are doing is date night in order to fuck. It's a covert contract. It's giving to get. She feels like you are doing date night just to fuck her (because you are) and that's a turn off.
Op Sec
2024-04-24 16:40:05 +0000 UTCI agree with Op Sec Ditch date night, maybe make plans with your friends instead. If she asks why no date night you can tell her you have plans. Try cave manning the duty booty call, don’t pay a premium for low quality goods.
Validation Junkie
2024-04-24 06:42:51 +0000 UTCIle check out about, thank you! I was floundering in the past trying to fix a dead bed. So I initiated a date night once a week. It started great but now she is just lazy about it and I get the same routine. I don't know how to say no more date night without it coming off as overt dred. I guess I could just say no more date nite and when she asks why just broken record.
Iron_hanz
2024-04-22 17:53:49 +0000 UTChttps://rianstone.substack.com/p/how-exactly-do-you-take-the-red-pill Don't do date night. Initiate anyway. Gym bag routine.
Op Sec
2024-04-22 17:49:19 +0000 UTCI'm new, read the books. Where is a good place to ask questions? I want to get out of date night. Any suggestions? I spent a ton of money to get duty sex.
Iron_hanz
2024-04-21 01:14:13 +0000 UTCYeah, I have definitely been playing to someone else level. Up until now, I would have considered it levelling up. Now I want to stay in my lane more because I believe I am playing at the higher level. Basically I have become my MOP in professional life. I need to adjust so I don't needlessly create friction, the business still pays me. But also set up more boundaries. Any advice or comments on that @Cousin Eddie?
So Woke da Wookie
2024-04-19 12:40:13 +0000 UTCThis is a way more productive and positive way to frame my internal dialogue, thanks
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-04-18 18:24:26 +0000 UTCTrue, was a rush job this time as well
Am I red yet
2024-04-18 18:16:49 +0000 UTCLong…. Start cutting to the important details. Distill this. That is an exercise in and of itself.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 18:08:47 +0000 UTCA thought: you are handling different situations with different acumen because you are reacting. Should you be reactive (playing to somone else’s level?) or could you stay in your lane? Be you point of origin. Comes up in my business a lot.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 18:05:58 +0000 UTCOther than reading and thinking, what have you got going on?
So Woke da Wookie
2024-04-18 18:02:35 +0000 UTCYou are making to much of all this. Building it up. —- “ if I don’t act now I am doomed for life”. —- Paraphrase. Stick to basics. Nmmng. What do I want to do right now. Eat a sandwich, go do a hike? Be lazy…. It will take time and baby steps to rewire so that you are your mental point of origin. Then all of this will come naturally. Fn writing: actions taken (ooda) in the past tense. Less navel gazing. That is a baby step in and of itself
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 17:57:56 +0000 UTCHey Rian and Guys, It’s been a while. First things first. Rian, there was a Red Morning about 4-6 weeks ago and a big portion at the start was all about - Anime, Music types, Art, Design and Pop Culture. LOVED IT. I would love a Red Morning on just that stuff on the regular. I looked around for something similar. Like a High - Pop Culture Magazine Show/Podcast. I couldn’t find anything. Well nothing made for me. Around that same time there were a few Red Mornings where you were saying, “I am done with this place” but at the same time the insights, reasons and practicalities of RP where flying off your tongue at another level of clarity. Super lucid and clear and I was thinking I hope he doesn’t bounce because these riffs are so powerful and setting me up for the week. In fact, I would say the insights, could easily be applied to my work life and social context. It became very clear to me, you literally have no competition or comparison, forget the the RP space but in the culture anywhere. So that’s my way of saying, even if you do decide to drop the Man-o-Swamp stuff you're gonna have to keep a monthly podcast going on this shit because there’s nobody making media for guys like us. Anyways, after my early 2024 - 4 weeks of sexual debauchery. I did a follow on 4 weeks of alcohol and hard living debauchery. That was a bit of fun and dangerous, I was flying a bit too close to the sun and had to take it back a notch so March was me straightening myself out. Again. Back to the girls, it’s been a little quiet when I was on a mad one with the lads. Then I looked bit soft for a few weeks from all the hard living. But I’ve shaped up again after a few weeks of good behaviour. I have been opening in the wild to keep the practice going. There was one fine thing I was going to meet from Online Dating. Literally a fantasy girl for me. I totally fancied the arse off her. But I just did one text too many on logistics and I reeked of desperation and she ghosted me. Now I am stacking dates for this weekend and I was about to ghost one of the girls who is most eager to meet me. I won’t tho’. Options are part of abundance. I have been watching the Annihilation Method through our links. But here’s the big question. When I was out with my wingman, he does better than me. He’s a bit of prick to girls. He pointed out that I can’t help but constantly try to make a “connection”. I am chatty, funny and in I’d say the Top 10% in terms of looks and style. But this connection hunting is fucking me up. I don’t want a connection with a girlfriendI I want a selection of sexual relationships. My friend who is into Kink said I appear to have Dom tendencies and specifically I get off through intellectual and sensual & particularly consensual dominance. Basically I want to get the girl to open up an overtly ask for the dirty stuff, to beg for it and then I “direct” the play. There’s apparently even a name for this type of shit. The thing is, when I do it on the date, for me the conversation and opening the girl up is foreplay because in my head I am going to get her to ask me to do her fantasies BUT unless the girl is already all in and totally DTF I it comes off Beta and Desexualising. Because I am doing all this shit before isolation. Thus, I am killing the tension. Anyway, I need some tips for my 2 dates on Saturday because now I need a ride. My bro said try disagreeing with everything the girls say. That’s one idea. Whatcha think? On other stuff, loads of new cool new projects business/vocation collabs, I also have some art collabs coming up too which was in my 2024 plan, exciting. Kids: after all the worries about custody and shit. I can’t get them out of my place!!! And I can see them hatching plans to be with me even more. The professional work stuff which was stressing me out, I got control of by marshalling all the service providers and laying the options out on front of the founder/funder. Basically power plays through admin and budgeting. In my mind the next 90 days will show me if this is Startup really has got legs or if am I in an Ultra High Net Worth individual’s Vanity Project. I don't want that because the pay off is only the payment and it's not something I can post on the Jumbotron. Anyways, I am pushing forward while prepping my CV and using work projects to extend my network and self promotion. There’s also a bunch of strategic games I am playing professional that are at a higher level than I’ve played before and interestingly the higher the stakes the more calm I get and the outcome independent I get. I don’t get it because when the stakes are lower and less sophisticated I really sweat the details and become very much stress head. Do I need more Machiavellian shit in play or is this more towards Psychopathy? - I ask because in these situations, I am much more composed and I would say content and confident. People even comment on it and thank me. And I am bit more of a dick and even my kids respond better because I have less time for their shit. So I want to create those conditions more for myself. What the fuck is this trait, do you recognise it?
So Woke da Wookie
2024-04-18 17:51:28 +0000 UTCReally put an emphasis on sourcing new girls since the last field report. Spent time on dating apps and set up dates. Had dates with new girls last Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Tuesday. Wrote down something on each but deleted it again and just kept the ones I learned something from or have questions about. On thursday the herpes girl texted me, I asked if she wanted to hang out again, then drove over to her place, went for a walk and fucked. Before having sex she was asking me something like “Can we do something else than having sex? Or are we only having sex?” I was caught off guard, as we just came back to her place from a long walk which was actually kind of adventurous (climbed stuff we were not supposed to and went a little off road). So I pointed that out to her, also suggested if she wanted we could play a board game some time if she is into that. Which was stupid, me trying to solve this “problem” we are having. She then said something like “No, what if I am not in the mood? We always have sex when we meet”. I regained my wits a little, so I said something cocky funny along the lines of if she is not in the mood she can still suck my dick or jerk me off. Then I made her shake her ass for me, which somehow turns her on a lot and we had sex until 1 am and I was home by 2 am. But I am not sure what to make of these communications she is throwing at me. Friday I was tired at work, people asked me what's wrong, I just told them I went to bed late and slept poorly. Keeping my mouth shut successfully. The date on Friday was off my usual logistics, why am I doing this to me, trying to accommodate the girls, fucking me over in the process. That one did not even ask for it, just implied it by talking about how busy she is with school, so I suggested I drive out to her town, instead of her meeting me in my city. Yeah, but I will not change my logistics for a girl without her requesting it again, that's stupid. The date on Sunday was with a really hot girl, probably a little hotter than vacation girl and herpes girl. I was really doubting why she would go out with me. Always thinking that there must be a catch. But she lives close to my place, we met near her place, went for a walk and my usual bar. In my opinion I really killed it with teasing her and being cocky funny, but also actively listening and asking her about her. One thing I did, which I probably should be careful about, was teasing her about how I would throw her in the lake we were walking past. Could come off as scary instead of playful if I am not careful. I also said something, I don't remember what, that made her say “Is that a bit to make me hold your hand” and I replied with “No but this is: I am actually a part-time palm reader, give me your hand”. And she then actually did give me her hand. And I made up some obviously bullshit stuff while tracing my fingers across her hand like “This is your life line, do you see how it curves? It means you are going to have a curvy life". The last thing I did that made me laugh way too hard was: “This is your love line, and it goes like this”, tracing my finger along it in one direction, “but it should go like this”, tracing my finger the other direction. How is that funny, maybe I am retarded? But people start laughing with me when I laugh about my own jokes, so I got that going for me. And then I made her read my hand and she told me my love life is also messed up. I disagreed, telling her I am happily married. She then told me she sees, that I have 9 kids already, which sounds like she sees me like a guy who fucks, which is good I guess. I told her about a vacation in Australia before, so she told me one of the kids lives in Australia. But it's only one kid, because I only spent so little time there. I told her that that surprises me, as I thought the fling I had in Australia was a guy. You can never tell with these damn Aussies. I wonder if that joke was harming me. Anyway, I walked her home afterwards, she brought up me throwing her in the lake again, and I picked her up with my arms around her belly. She was not dismissive of that, but again, I probably need to be very careful with stuff like that to keep it playful and not be scary. In front of her door, I brushed the hair behind her ear to go for a kiss. But she was hesitant. I asked if she did not want to and she was like “I don’t know, we only met once”. I replied with “hmmm”. She then asked me, “What are you looking for?” I was shutting up and looking for something good to say, but then she said “I am not sure how my life will continue, so I don’t look for anything long term”. I said, that would be fine for me, praising the lord that I kept my mouth shut and did not say anything stupid. And then kissed her and said my goodbyes. Monday Fish Girl came over, which was nice. But it is a little weird that she is so quiet. The date on Tuesday went very well. Good kino, good energy. But two points I learned. She told me how much her colleagues compliment her, it really drove it home that making a compliment is worthless as she is receiving so much of them. Second point was after making out with her in the usual bar. And after that she told me that she usually does not make out infront of so many people. I probably need to think about isolating more. Find a place in between in terms of privacy between the bar and my place. I started to read Sex God Method. Wednesday herpes girl came over again and I tried stuff out. Talking possessive of her, a little pinning her arms down, calling her my slut, she was very receptive. She got very wet, had a huge smile on her face, and I felt a new vigor from her. Initially I was extremely nervous about saying the stuff, but it was great. She also asked me if it was too much for me if she wanted to see me every week. I told her no, that's cool. The talk is probably coming soon. Sorry about the long field report, I want to get feedback on my game, but don’t know what is important yet. I started to watch the Annihilation playlist you posted a couple of weeks ago. Maybe that will give me a better idea of what I actually need to work on. I think I need to be more fun. But how do I achieve that? Cocky funny and routines? I think my dates go well when it is fun and not so well when it is not fun (duuuhhh).
Am I red yet
2024-04-18 17:50:37 +0000 UTCField Report #7 2024-04-18 This is a short field report. It has been a studying and self-reflection week. Goals (shortened for brevity): - Physical – on track. Got back to gym after a week off with the flu. I am still being very careful with my injured shoulder – and avoiding anything that touches the shoulder. Feels good to get in there and sweat again. - NMMNG / WISNIFG. Continued monitoring DEERING and niceguy behavior. I finished up 6-week improv class – this was the best thing I have done in a while. Report: Last week’s patreon gave me alot to think about. My key takeaways were as follows: - Incongruence - I acknowledge the incongruence that you pointed out last week. I am wanting to leave the relationship with my wife because it sucks so bad, and then at the same time bitching about my wife’s shittiness because this is not how I planned my life to be. So I agree that I was demonstrating both “not caring” and also “caring” at the same time. Good point. - I did alot of reflection about what was behind this and I think it is a jumbled-up mess of conflicting thoughts and emotions including the following: Disappointment in my wife, Feeling like I failed, Not wanting to disappoint others, Old hidden religious programming that I still haven’t expunged (even though I left the catholic church over 10 years ago), Fear of abandonment even though this doesn’t make sense because my relationship sucks so there isn’t much to abandon, Fear of losing money and can I survive / rebuild, Codependent impulses that don’t make much sense intellectually – why would I stay in relationship that doesn’t meet my needs / desires? - I have already come to the conclusion that I must make a radical change and blow the whole relationship up or else be resigned to a miserable life of quiet desperation doing what other people want. This is still all true for me. I just want to pull the bandaid off and be done with it but my lawyer has warned me to wait until have the wedding in few months. I have a built in waiting period. - I can see a glimmer of making myself my own mental point of origin, and how this shitty situation is propelling / driving me towards massive change. Maybe this is all a proverbial “blessing in disguise” to make me so dissatisfied that I finally do what I want - and not live a life that others want for me. - I feel like I am going back to the drawing board and think that I still misunderstand much and have much to internalize: - I read “Yes, Virginia, you have to be an asshole” multiple times. This was helpful but I acknowledge that I have not internalized this yet. Is there any more reading, things to do that you can suggest on how to flick this switch in my head? - Re-read the Prax: Frame – focusing on the first 3 pillars as you have suggested. The more I am reading the more overwhelmed I am feeling. It seems like while I have made some improvements particularly in the physical pillar and am making some progress on not DEERING, reducing Niceguyitis, and the assertiveness/WISNIFG work, but I still have long standing conditioning that I need to deprogram in the intellectual and emotional pillars.
Ground Hog Day
2024-04-18 17:40:23 +0000 UTCThere is a difference between the “dancing monkey improvement plan” mentality and the “I am the game,” mentality. Do you know the difference? The feelings could be residual anger or another layer of covert contract to the extent you haven’t internalized the game concepts.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-04-18 17:10:43 +0000 UTCWhy did you feel the need to use the word “pathetic” to describe your insights into your behavior? That is a judgment word. Did it feel cathartic to describe yourself that way so you could confess? Or was it your internal shit goblin? It’s a small thing but I suggest you replace those internal values based judgments with more clinical descriptions. Instead of pathetic, you were being suboptimal or not effective for your goals. Assuming you know what you want.
CovertContractAttorney
2024-04-18 16:56:51 +0000 UTCThe entire time I read this I thought: —— abundance is needed——. That was your final conclusion as well. “ am not interested in raising kids that are not mine. That limits our relationship to fucking and fun dates. —-honey moon phase. “. “Tuff, I know. lol”. You are being honest. Probably the only man that has ever been honest with her. She will be attracted to that.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 16:41:45 +0000 UTCShe has one person that can give her dopamine unless she cheats or does drugs/ssri. Rotating through being: mysterious, attractive (looks-clothing), creating jealousy, being a free bird she needs to catch, charming her, negging her…. Charming her friends. …. All of that she relies solely on you for.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 16:26:18 +0000 UTC“Titanic”. Paradox. Girl cheats on her rich husband with a poor vagabond artist. And audiences all related and applauded the movie. I know it’s fiction But there is a reason it was written and one of the biggest blockbuster romance movies ever.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 16:18:36 +0000 UTCFR 27. I’ve been working a lot over the past few weeks, 13 hour days, this is my busy time of year. I had been doing mostly barbell strength training at home over the past year, but I pulled something in my back doing RDLs. Typically in the past I would end up taking a break for a while, but rather than losing progress I joined a local gym and switch to PPL. My back is now healed, I’m seeing some good gains, and I’m going to stick with PPL for a while. My relationship ended last week. Long story short she’s getting her kids back 50/50, and I told her that I’m not interested in raising someone else’s kids or having a blended family, she impulsively replied with, “When can I pick up my stuff from your house?” I dealt with threats of divorce for over a decade when I was with my ex wife, so these types of threats are a hard boundary for me now. When my ex wife finally seriously wanted a divorce, I told myself that if anyone doesn’t want to be part of my life, it’s over. Later that day my girlfriend texts me that she’s sorry, was impulsive and made a mistake. I told her if she wants to apologize she knows how to do it. So she shows up at my door that night, on her knees in lingerie. I already have her shit boxed up by the door, but she doesn’t seem to care. I bring her up to my room and get my apology bj, followed by a hate fuck. Once we were done, lying in bed I told her how things will be for now on. We’re no longer in a relationship, I’ll be the guy you have fun with until you find what you’re looking for. She started ugly crying, apologizing, saying she doesn’t want to date other people, saying that she was just trying to protect her kids… and that’s when it clicked. A little backstory, I have been testing this girl constantly, I find it fun sometimes to see just how much I can get away with, with her. She cleans my house, if she has to pick me up she makes sure her car is clean, in the bedroom I can do basically whatever I want with her. Lately I’ve been prioritizing work and the gym over her, I see her a few hours per week just to fuck. I finally figured out what the primary driver was, security for her kids. The thing is I don’t really like her kids, and every time I’m with them all I can think about is losing quality time with my kids. Almost like I’m betraying my kids. I spent Christmas with her and her kids, because mine were at my ex’s, and for some reason every time I look at that picture it makes me cringe. I should’ve went skiing that day instead. This relationship taught me a lot about myself. When it started my frame was weak, she vaped so I started, she went to concerts so I did even if I wasn’t into it. Since Christmas I worked on my boundaries, I quit vaping and she did too. I started hiking more and she followed. Over the past two months I started setting stricter boundaries, she wasn’t allowed in my house without me, I drove my kids to school not her, etc. Then I started prioritizing the gym over time with her, maybe it was my way of exiting the relationship too. It feels weird to nuke a relationship over my boundaries, but I think it’s what I ultimately needed. The first few days were difficult, interestingly it brought back a lot of memories from my divorce, and now I’m back to being the cold hearted mf that I was back then. Since the breakup every couple nights she hires a babysitter and comes over for an hour or two for a bj and to fuck. So I guess I plated her, but I know what I need to do before I get “oneitis”, add some more plates.
ErikTheRed
2024-04-18 16:09:47 +0000 UTChttps://rianstone.substack.com/p/how-exactly-do-you-take-the-red-pill stop thanking us https://whinemoreplease.substack.com/p/your-gratitude-is-bullhit
Op Sec
2024-04-18 16:02:39 +0000 UTCI was upset and really feeling like I had enough. Sex had been crappy, been a few weeks since I got blown. I was angry, and tired of bad sex. Tired of trying. That night, I got blown. The same old lesson. The more checked out I am, the better results I get. Next time we had sex. It was unpleasant, like physically unpleasant because of dryness. Day after that, she comes to chat and is unpleasant. I disengage for the rest of the day. I was grumpy and angry. It took me some time to figure out why. I’ve been doing the nice guy thing of accepting bad sex. Another thing that I had been mulling over, is that you shouldn’t give to get, but you should absolutely game your wife. I resolved this in that I should be attractive regardless. A frame of practicing being attractive so I can continue to get better at it, absolutely suits me. So when my wife came to my office I chatted her up, and had fun for some time before sex. I’m acting the way I want to act because it makes me attractive. This time the sex was the best. I released all the emotions I had been having and put it into a great hard fuck.
Op Sec
2024-04-18 15:50:54 +0000 UTCThanks for the advice.
Validation Junkie
2024-04-18 06:05:00 +0000 UTCWisnifg: you: “No”. Her…. You: “because I don’t want to.” Her…. You: I hear you… sounds tuff…. No. Be honest. (It’s not mean. Lying is being passive aggressive = mean) Stop deering. Your fn is a giant deer. ——- … This is the big covert contract I’m trying to eliminate. —- Cut back on the navel gazing and tell us what you are doing to break this contract. In you comments you answered stripper with this: You are meeting with women…. Getting 2nd opinions… Write more detail about this will be more productive.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 03:51:08 +0000 UTCWatch the patreon tomorrow (or the recording). Read others fn. avoid dear abby questions. Write in past tense. Navel gazing, future goal day dreaming is not productive (in general.). Read no more Mr nice guy and when I say no I feel guilty. And then frame.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 03:43:12 +0000 UTCSounds good. Might want to get more specific on how you were seeking validation. Writing on this will help break the covert contracts and habits. … Also getting specific on how you open strangers (and your wife) and escalate is a good fn to write.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 03:40:31 +0000 UTCYes I had a second opinion and a third who’s interested and finding time to meet discreetly.
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-04-18 02:46:20 +0000 UTCHello, I am brand new to the Patreon, been following on YouTube for a while now. I realized that if I wanted to see real improvement in my life I would need to join. With that said how does this work? Do I just post questions and field reports and then watch the live event?
Validation Junkie
2024-04-18 02:43:43 +0000 UTCField Report #12 Weighed in at 196. Back into my normal routine this week after a week out of town using the hotel gym. While on my work trip I made a focused effort on getting out of my normal comfort zone and interacting with strangers at the bar and restaurants. My old self would have not talked to strangers or just stayed inside the hotel room. I made conscious effort to strike up conversation with those around me and had some good connections with men and women. I am not intimidated anymore striking up conversation with strangers, especially women in these settings which is a step in the right direction for me to get over my approach anxiety. Got back from the work trip in the early afternoon, the kids were still at school so I kissed my wife and led her back to the bedroom. Managed a few tests that afternoon when she brought up if I met any girls while I was gone, told her" I brought my hoe stick to beat them off of me". That night when we went to bed kissed her goodnight and she held longer than usual. Told her, lets go for round two and we smashed again. Next day I initiated again at night and she said" three times?" in an exhausted tone. Told her I was horny and this is all her fault anyway with smile on my face. Got a a hard no as I continued to push. Told her no worries and went to bed. By the next day I caught myself seeking out her validation through affection and attention. I stopped chasing her around the house and focused on my own shit to get done. By that night when the kids went to bed I initiated again and escalated to sex. This week I have also withdrawn my attention when her attitude gets bitchy and add back more attention when she is pleasant. Small things like leaving the room for a few minutes and doing something else. I am working on not rewarding bad behavior.
Amos_Durden
2024-04-18 02:13:46 +0000 UTC53 Mystery playbook 101: meet different groups of people--> Invite them all to your event with you as the centerpiece. My kid and I were asked to be a part of a magic show. Invited friends from different areas of my life. Fencing. kids school, film group… It was an opportunity to get closer with acquaintances. We came up with an absurd act that involved pluming and tarot card reading. Made a ridiculous flyer and sent it out as the invite. Photo shoot with daughter: Image: dirty plungers and tarot cards with us looking intensely into a glowing crystal ball. Pushed all communication to emotion/closed. Ex: they text: “I need directions to the show?” I replied with a tarot card image and my notes on how they can work on their life. (Cocky funny) subtext: the “coolest” place to be in the zip code on this night is this event. Was a sold out show. -Pre party in the green room. -show went great. My friend told me if felt like a Steelers home game crowd. — kids hopped up on sugar, moms hopped up on white claw. -Post party at my house. rp: -Abundance -Social proof -3 points of contact -Has passion - I would have done this regardless of social dynamics. -leading- man with the plan Notes: money means nothing regarding Alpha-type attraction. This simple magic show (or working a table fn#51) brings more ioi’s my way than recently buying a second million +$ house. Also, charming other women, especially my wife’s friends, generates attraction in my wife. My wife hates magic, but in this situation, I invited her friends and put a white claw box on their seats. Her friends buying into the event gets me laid far more than my wife buying into the event.
Cousin Eddie
2024-04-18 01:10:48 +0000 UTCHere's something for you to ponder on: What actually happened when you said no? Like what actually happened that wasn't just emotions? Did your wife hit you? Break all your stuff? Leave with your kid/s to her parents place? Nothing of the sort. For me, once I've experienced saying "no" and have nothing actually happen several times, it clicked for me that for the most part, having boundaries will not cause any real damage to my life.
Dante Panda
2024-04-17 22:22:39 +0000 UTCIn gym 4 days a week working to build muscle.
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-04-17 22:10:33 +0000 UTC4/15 I’ve been meticulously documenting and observing my behavior the past few weeks and realized I’ve been putting my wife and any other woman I encounter into an automatic position of superiority over myself and basing my worth and value as a man by how they act towards me. I realize this is simply Pathetic. This made me realize my wife has basically been telling me to jump and I’ve been asking “how high?” I’m Still terrified about my wife leaving me, heavy oneitis. I tell myself it’s about my fears of who she may bring around our kid if we separate but it’s my lack of confidence, current lack of ability to attract women, lack of options and lack of abundance. Also clearly worrying about what other people will think or say. I Keep telling myself I want “a woman” who enthusiastically wants to have sex with me but I know the reality is I still have the fantasy of winning my wife's validation and desire. This is the big covert contract I’m trying to eliminate. I’ve been a bit better not focusing on how my wife reacts, rather just starting to observe her behavior and actions. Very uninterested and overall apathetic which worries me, but mostly due to my oneitis and lack of options. Had a Small win where I stopped myself from taking accountability for my wife’s lack of time management and not balancing her commitments: Her: Can you take dog to training class tonight Me: Why can't you take her? Her: I have some stuff I need to do for work Me: For what? Her: Education stuff Me: Can that be done before and after class? Her: Why can't you just take her. Me: Trying to understand if you just don't feel like talking her or if there is a legitimate need for me to take her instead of you. You already committed to a second round of dog classes for your dog, that you’re responsible for training. Her: Nevermind Me: You can call me and explain Her: Nope. Don't need to Me: Then the answer is no Her: I figured it would be regardless. It's something I need to get done and I need time to do it. I have to listen and watch videos and then take a test. It's not something I can really stop and start Me: Call me or wait until I'm home, can't keep texting. Calls me…. Me: yes… Her: hi… Me: so why can’t you take her to training? Her: because I have modules I need to watch and take tests on and don’t want to be interrupted or have to stop. Me: does this need to be done for tomorrow? Her: no but I want to work on it today and also tomorrow…. Me: then why do you need me to take your dog to training if your work can be be done later in the week? Her: I’ll have limited time this week.. Me: can it be done on the weekend? Her: yes but I don’t want to do it on the weekend. Me: if this is something that doesn’t need to be done tomorrow, my answer is no. Her: I figured you’d say that (hangs up) Looking back at this, it’s clear I should have been more direct and said “no, the dog training is your responsibility but I’ll be happy to watch our kid and get her ready for bed while you’re gone” (class ends at our kid’s bedtime). Once home I got the typical manipulation tactics; passive aggressive, silent treatment, the disapproving stares and facial expressions… I just ignore it all and start meal prepping and taking care of our dogs and kid. I felt guilty being direct and saying no because I’m deeply afraid of my wife’s emotions, especially having her be mad at me. Conditioned behavior and learned helplessness. Also caught myself being worried about disappointing her, which means I’m completely without any frame since that means I’m not the judge of my own behavior.
Alligator_Snapping_Turtle
2024-04-17 19:31:05 +0000 UTC
