Merch Competition: Max Out TP
Added 2021-07-12 16:57:41 +0000 UTCWe have a test pressing of our remastered 'Max Out' EP to give away!
To win, comment below with your best joke, and we'll choose our favourite.
Comments
lol
Kimble
2021-07-20 01:02:54 +0000 UTCWe're suckers for a good Dad joke, congrats to the winner Diego Felix!
KOAN Sound
2021-07-16 18:34:51 +0000 UTCA man is getting a checkup. Doctor: "You have to stop masturbating." Man: "Why?" Doctor: "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Matt Erickson
2021-07-15 09:09:48 +0000 UTCyo mama so fat they sent her picture to ripleys. they sent it back sayin they dont believe it.
Shru-ti
2021-07-15 08:19:39 +0000 UTCJoke - What do say to someone who has made a tune that has a bad snare? Answer - HOW SNARE YOU? (Can also be used in other snare instances like if there is too much snare or is very snareful etc)
PRFCT Mandem
2021-07-14 22:57:44 +0000 UTCA spider named Simon came home from a long hard day at his job working as a global Internet technician😏... It was his birthday so as he got through the door he called out to his lodger and friend Millie the millipede "come on millie let's go to the pub to celebrate my birthday". After pausing for a few seconds Simon heard no response so he called out again "Millie, its my birthday! let's go to the pub!"... Again there was no response and Simon was getting agitated so he shouted "Millie you said you would go to the pub with me! it's been a bloody hard day sorting out idiots who can't access the Web, I don't appreciate being ignored by you as well!" to which Simon heard millie shout back "I heard you the first time you bloody martyr, iv been getting my shoes on!"
Pete Stephens
2021-07-14 16:21:32 +0000 UTCTwo bishops were driving to church when suddenly the devil crashed down from above, landing heavily onto their car bonnet. "Quick! Show him yer cross" exclaimed one of the men... The other priest wound down his window, stuck his head out and shouted at the top of his lungs: "GET THE FUCK OFF MY CAR YOU BASTARD" Ps I hope this doesn't offend anyone it just made me chuckle when I heard it 💙
Pete Stephens
2021-07-14 16:04:52 +0000 UTCOne day whilst there was trouble in the west, a blacksmith by the name of Mr Brown saw a wild fox walk by on 2 legs, the blacksmith was amazed by this and asked the fox how he was able to do this, the fox responded "simple", "you can speak?" asked Mr Brown, the fox replied "I don't speak much, I'm a bit of an introvert" Mr brown replied "a sentient fox, okay, I tell you what, if you can stand on your hands and walk for 10 meters, I will give you one of my most valued items" the fox lost in thought for a moment, bent over and placed one hand under each foot and walked the distance. Mr brown realizing he had been outsmarted, presented the fox with a large majestic hammer and said "you're a sly fox aren't you" the fox replied "I am indeed, and thank you sir, I shall call this the Hustle Hammer"
gareth cornwell
2021-07-14 12:10:35 +0000 UTCWhy did the Norwegian Navi put barcodes on their ships? So when they dock they can "Scan the Navy in"
Lytex
2021-07-13 17:49:12 +0000 UTCWhy did the waveform go to the dentist? Because it had a SAW tooth
Jamie Bashington
2021-07-13 11:20:52 +0000 UTCI'm really dyslexic my friends tell me I can, read and write I tell them I cunt
joe riley
2021-07-13 10:09:50 +0000 UTCwhere does a father keep their best jokes? in his dad-a-base
Diego
2021-07-12 20:58:28 +0000 UTCI've got a friend with the world record for the longest ejaculation - he's come so far!
Father Funk
2021-07-12 18:30:41 +0000 UTCWhat's the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? You only have to punch the instructions into the drum machine once
Sean Lewis
2021-07-12 18:29:18 +0000 UTCOne nuerofunk producer has a piece of hardware stolen. He sets up a camera to make sure he catches whoever did it in their tracks. Sure enough, another piece of hardware goes missing not long after. When checking the footage, the producer lets out a gasp. He yells at the top of his lungs: "I've found the Culprate!"
BJH1515
2021-07-12 17:47:46 +0000 UTCWhat’s the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I’ve never asked to have a lentil on my face
NP
2021-07-12 17:34:02 +0000 UTCWhy does the compressor has arthritis ? ... 'Cause he has a hard knee !
Dokounta
2021-07-12 17:33:40 +0000 UTCI’m friends with a Spanish sound engineer and a Czech one too
NP
2021-07-12 17:32:46 +0000 UTCGuy walks into a bakery and asks, hey mr baker man how come this cake is 50p and this other cake is £1…. The baker said … that’s Madeira cake.
Luke Perry
2021-07-12 17:27:16 +0000 UTCQue le dice un jaguar a otro jaguar? Jaguar you 🐆
L. Rodriguez
2021-07-12 17:22:27 +0000 UTCI don't follow my dreams but I ask where they're going so we can meet up later.
nodus
2021-07-12 17:05:11 +0000 UTCMy music
Carl Björklund
2021-07-12 16:59:41 +0000 UTC
