exit surveys

Warning: some words may be triggering or sensitive, read with caution, lots of text too~

I never checked exit surveys and today was the first time I ever did since I created my Patreon. The messages on these exit surveys absolutely anonymous, made by cancelled subscribers.

So I read the messages for year 2023, most of them were neutral, like changed financial situation, no money, and 'overcharged' or stuff, it's absolutely okay that some people can't support me here, I mean it's not a must, it's fine, we all gotta pay bills.

And then I was puzzled there were some messages like... um, very strange. Why they even leave such messages in the first place? A lot of them are so 'specific', I start to think some of them are made by haters... but why they even came to my patreon in the first place? Pay subscription in attempt to... hurt me? I have no idea.

Since these responses are totally anonymous and I cannot reply them back to ask why they think so, I decided to reply to these comments here in case some people alike will "accidentally" come here and regret it, and would consider sending me messages alike.

Here we go:

"humanlouvre wasn’t as active as I expected"

On my profile page I promise 2 arts per month, but I did and do more that that. What about the posts that are already unlocked to subscribers? Don't you find them enjoyable? Sorry, I can't create art daily and then suffer from exhaustion 😭

"Used to like more of the censored art that was not completely nude"

I think you could see what kind of art I create from private twitter previews, right? Why did you even subscribe knowing I'm an NSFW artist? Maybe my art is too explicit? Sometimes I think my art is "too much" but then I see that famous manga artists did even more explicit graphic artworks than mine. So that's normal in the world of art.  So considering "not completely nude" sorry, I don't get it 🤷

"Not into the art style. I liked the earlier forms of art. I’m finding the more recent ones not to my taste."

Earlier... when exactly? Is it because of the explicitness or what? Where's the guarantee if I come back to older style people like you won't say "I liked the previous style?" I'm amazed that some people can't appreciate what artists create, instead they remind of old times like 'back then you/this were/was better' (I see a lot of such comments on musicians and movie creators). In the end you could just tell me about it? I mean I never saw comments of this kind on my new art, like, "would you try drawing in old style? I miss it, semi-nsfw are awesome", if there were such, I could consider coming back to old style. The problem is older style of art didn't get much support, and as an artist I need people to feel passion for my art, this is why.

"Content that was supposed to be exclusive for patrons ended up exposed on humanlouvre's social networks"  + "The publications are available for free on Twitter so I don't see the exclusive side of my subscription even if I like his work, I'm disappointed that the contributors don't have exclusive content."

Many many times i repeated that I create my art ONLY for support. I don't promise anything. I share some of my art in small size with many watermarks on twitter for free just cause I know there are people who can't support me on patreon. I do my best for patreon to make patrons happy, I share super HQ quality, I share sketches and painting process, it takes hours for me to make these and post these. If you think you pay for exclusive content... well, then you don't have to support me. Maybe there are other artists who draw much more often and only exclusive content so go pay for their content. My art is not to be paid for, it's being supported 🙌

"I can’t pretend like using real people for graphic nsfw and hétéronormative art is okay anymore"

What in the world you mean by heteronormative? "Heteronormative" means "denoting or relating to a world view that promotes heterosexuality as the normal or preferred sexual orientation." You definitely have no idea what means heteronormative. Calling every gay couple that doesn't fit the desired gay stereotype, a 'heteronormative' - is so wrong. Such people are often obsessed with kink for two masculine men - that's what they're convinced is truly "gay", it is framing of sexualities in one limited stereotype that is really damaging to community. By such comment they just invalidate many queer people who have variety of bodies, looks and manners. I mean there are dainty, pretty and soft looking gay who prefer masculine men, does their relationship makes them straight? Hell no. My art is gay art and I'm proud of it.

As for proportions and shape I measure EVERY part of their body to be precise. In the end, and if they don't look like who they are "supposed to be" - even better, because they're not supposed to. Because this is MY ART, not reality. So many times I repeated that I draw author's imagination about Alternate Universe fiction characters in the drawing/painting and some people still don't get it? As for graphic NSFW... There are millions of NC-17 fanfics about 'real people' but you can't see that it's the same thing as NSFW fanart? I'm feeling slightly triggered cause a lot of people who came to 'preach' me about 'purity and morals' - they didn't ever follow it themselves. Nobody is that perfect. In the end you paid $ 2 just to come and leave this hurtful message?

This message is just as same as:

"Account contains p*rnogrpahic content of celebrities / BTS Jungkook and Taehyung" (Jun 13, 2023)

P*rnographic content... sorry? This is art. My art. I draw and paint out of my imagination. Nowhere I state that this is them, I even put emojis instead of names... Can you go and say that to million fanfics that include their full names and group name? PWP ff is literally p*rn without plot and it's one of the first thing I see when I google their names, not fanarts. Still, fanfics are fine, people enjoy them, fanfics are not illegal, cause it's a free speech and freedom of expression and so is art. Then why you insult my art? In my art two men make love I also ask not to repost my art cause it's PRIVATE.

Secondly, if any of my art is stolen and reposted elsewhere - it's not my fault. Did you see how many times I ask people not to repost my NSFW art? I begged, I requested, I pleaded, I put watermarks... still some heartless people repost it - and it's not in my power to control that. I literally report every person who reposts my NSFW art and I get a respond from IG admins that they do not violate any rules, wow... Why people even subscribe just to tell me my art is "porn" is beyond my comprehension.

"i've seen some bad accusations on twitter about racism which cannot be excused."

racism.... what? Excuse me 😅... This was from Jul 21, 2023 btw, very strange note and absolutely false. Just see how wrongly people can accuse you. Literally just totally made up it's scary. I mean, it's terrifying how some people can create false rumors, spread them and that will become a reason to harass and bully other innocent people. Why am I amazed? There were accusations that called me homophobic... why? They said because of my art. Err... How? I don't get it. People can literally take anything and twist it into anything they want.

This here cracked me up:

"I am getting notifications from several fucking years ago. Shut the fuck up."

No comments.

This is strange as well:

"They're possibly a delulu taekooker"

I want to cry tbh 🥲

Lastly, on a very serious note I want to address this issue, it's been a long time but some people still keep reminding.  So I'll explain again, for the last time.

"This creator is a Jm a*ti and bi*hobic i do not support that" + "Found out they don’t believe bisexual people exist. Can no longer support them as I am bisexual."

You really believe what haters say? That's sad. You probably don't know how much haters twist people's words just to cancel whoever they want. Why won't you just talk to me instead of blaming and hurting me like that without knowing me?

Firstly, long ago I have apologized for my misworded tweets back then when I just entered fandom, I was new, and didn't know better. Just because I support one couple doesn't mean I hate all other people and other couples. I am blessed have befriended a sweetest person who is a jkker, and she adores reading MOO which is such an honor for me! her sister is a tkker and I was moved by the fact that they have different views yet live in peace. I mean, we love and respect all 7 as well as we respect other ships too, even if we don't believe in certain ships we don't hate on anyone. I'm glad they understood and forgave me.

We support couples for enjoyment, not to fight each other. We have the right to believe in what we love, each of us. To be honest it actually makes me pleasantly surprised that people who don't ship TK still appreciate my art (they might prefer other ships, other groups or are not into k-pop generally - it doesn't matter), cause it's all about appreciating art and love only.

Secondly, everybody knows my English is not good as it is not my first language, (if it seems good - autocorrection and google translate helps). What can you tell about a person based on one short tweet? Tweets can be ripped out of context and interpreted wrongly. Why not ask the author of the quote? Well, I will explain again.

When I tweeted that, the subject was meant to be "why in fanfics there's an idea that gay men continuously and willingly have sex with women?" I wanted to make a thread and discuss that, because there were fanfics where male character was identifying as gay and in love with a man but still going out and having sex with women. I would understand such fanfic much more if it was polyamorous bisexual in open relationship - that would be fine, absolutely logical, no questions! But no, author literally wrote "he was gay, in love with 'him' and still had a sex with women", and as story continues he did it for no specific reason.

I know that in real life some people realize their sexuality later or are struggling with their identity, etc. (can't explain it better) however they want - they live. I was talking ONLY about fanfics! Novel-length fanfics where authors write something but then didn't evaluate anything.

The idea reminds of trope "straight men have sex with gays", that I find literally in every gay erotic story/movie/media. I have read some gay romance stories where only the protagonist was gay but all men he had sex with are straight... Yes, it happens irl, specially when straight men have no choice and are surrounded by people of the same-sex, but like... (yet can we be sure they are 100% straight? Cause social norms often convince such people that they are straight). But let's come back to writings anyways...

Most fanfics I've read had gay characters that slept with women. Why? What about bisexual people? There's not much fanfics where characters are actually identified as bi cause with such idea the story would make much more sense, it would validate bi people and made the story more realistic. I've learned that bisexual people are not 50/50, they can be leaning towards one or other sex more (can't express that better either but I guess you get me). I had a favorite fanfic where character was stated by author as bisexual, so I understood why he had a girlfriend and then broke up with her and found a boyfriend. It was understandable.

Again, no parallels to any real people cause their life is their life and we don't know their experience, we talked only about media and art when certain ideas are pushed as a fantasy/kink. I am a queer person myself and I often see opinion from gay men that they don't like this "sex with straight man" trope, it's like a kink for 'forbidden' relationship that is so overused everywhere. It's not wrong to use this idea, but if it's used too often, it can be discussable, and changed for the difference. We categorize things in art and literature to have a better understanding of what we're reading/viewing.

And back to the tweet then, someone in comments told me, what about bisexuality (of characters in fanfics)? I replied to them like, it's when men commit/consummate relationship with men or women (I mean sex & marriage), of course I meant monogamy relationship cause I'm a monogamous person, so I meant adult monogamous people chose to have relationship with one person, either man or woman, that of course doesn't deny anything they still feel for same-sex and opposite sex, and that doesn't invalidate their sexuality! I have never had any negativity in my mind at all. However haters twisted my words saying I deny bisexuality existence? How? Just tell me where I said that bisexual people don't exist? There are only misinterpretation by other people but that's not what I meant. It was ripped out of context. I was so shocked when the backlash of hate crashed on me, cause I didn't even understand what I was getting it for.

When my followers explained it, I understood. I do not consider myself innocent in this case, cause I've admitted my mistake. My mistake was trying to speak about something I couldn't express correctly, something I worded poorly - that's why it came out so wrong and hurted people. In this case I could have just shut up and go learn English and literature and keep my opinion on writings to myself, but I spoke up not knowing the toxic nature of twitter.

I also want to say something more, there's no 'pulling out friends card' here. Like, ah I have bisexual friends! I don't just have friends. My people are close to me, they know me very well. We share each other's secrets. A few of my closest best friends have came out to me as bisexual, they couldn't come out to their families fearing their reaction but they trusted me and came out to me, and I treasured their secret. How can I deny their identity? A person who supported me since the day I joined the fandom and throughout all the hate and cancelling - is a bisexual. She's my soulmate. I'm thankful to her for all her love and support. I have two other very close friends who are asexual biromatic (means they romantically are attracted to both sexes). They supported me through my emotional traumas long ago before I became an army. I talk to them when they want to speak out about their deep feelings and emotions ❤️

So please, do your best not to judge people just by what others talk about them, that doesn't define them as a person. Get to know them personally. Here comes the end of discussion.

Again I apologize if any of what I said may have sounded off to you. I only tried to explain what I meant back then, so it's not an excuse, just explanation. If any of my poorly worded sayings did hurt people - it wasn't intentional - and I would still apologize. Everyone makes mistakes and good thing if they learn and grow. I try my best with that. Let's forgive and move on.

Eventually there are many things I still haven't learned about, for example fluid sexuality or polyamory, I don't know much about it, I just I wanna make sure I respect any people and their sexualities. Being non-binary and queer asexual, I haven't still fully understood even my own preferences and gender! Still learning. In the end it's not the most important how you identify, but how you act and how you treat other people. Let's spread love and peace 💜