lets have a HONEST conversation about Natural Hair
Added 2025-01-24 19:23:03 +0000 UTC
Comments
I think black women taking the brunt of self hatred the most stems from the fact we’ve been conditioned for our entire existence that we’re less than, so now we have to over compensate with the self love rhetoric when realistically, any person black or not is going to have self worth and self esteem issues, but all the political stuff aside, I think it all boils down to ppl just not knowing how to take care of their hair, coming from someone with 4C hair that use to LOATHE it and would always wear hoodies when my hair wasn’t “done”, once I learned how to do my own hair, I now have no problem wearing my natural hair out, don’t like getting braids as much unless it’s for vacation, getting silk presses makes my skin crawl, perming gives me nightmares, the hot comb gives me PTSD, the only thing that matters to me is making sure my natural hair is good and healthy like it’s my bestfriend, every wash day I get excited as hell to do my hair, so for the girlies that hate their natural hair, it’s bc they don’t know WTF they’re doing, and instead of taking the time to learn about they’re hair they’d rather just hide it 24/7, and that’s simple no way to live babes
ceeitrus
2025-02-01 13:22:18 +0000 UTCI did a new hairstyle/color every month when I was living in cali to see what would happen. Honey it’s crazy how this shit growing out my head is a fucking magnet for different types of people or getting treated differently. I get treated seriously with the straight black middle part. But my red swoop with curtain bangs I attract weebs but get treated like a problem child. It’s fascinating.
Lyric
2025-01-29 15:54:51 +0000 UTCI grow up wearing the 90s box braids that my Dad did and eventually did get a relaxer around Middle School age… then when I started to wear my hair natural in College, my Dad didn’t understand it at first and always had a personal issue about the way I presented myself — saying that the way I look is a reflection on him as a parent. But I was grown by then, so he had to let it go. 10+ years into me wearing my hair un-relaxed, I can admit that I don’t enjoy my hair just OUT IN A FRO… but I do love a High Puff, Twist-In, Twist-Out, a Twisted Updo, Braids and Passion Twists on myself the Most
Jasmine F.
2025-01-28 15:07:38 +0000 UTCWhen Kenya said she has to take a break from her rant because "I’m an Auntie first” 💕💕 — that’s SO REAL and sweet I love being an Auntie too 🥹 - I’m down bad for my nephew in the BEST way 💙👦🏽
Jasmine F.
2025-01-28 14:58:20 +0000 UTCTbh I find wearing my natural hair easier (the detangling and shrinkage when I go outside in the England cold is the most humbling) but I’ve put off wearing wigs/weaves for the last 7 months bc I workout regularly and it just doesn’t make sense to have anything but my fro ! At least I can wash it again
Tia
2025-01-28 12:29:36 +0000 UTCSomalia?
Saly
2025-01-27 22:12:23 +0000 UTCThank you for saying the quite part out loud. It drives me crazy when people act like they are going to wear their natural hair. WHY ARE YOU LYING TO Meeeeee. Girl I don’t care just stop the bs.
Araela Richie
2025-01-27 21:23:07 +0000 UTCIm from a certain country in Africa where texturism and featurism is a pervasive problem. You will get discriminated against for not looking a certain way. It’s so bad a lot people from my country say they’re not African and will claim to be Arab because they hate to be identified as black even though they are visibly black iykyk
Ixa
2025-01-27 19:40:11 +0000 UTCYou’re right hair is so politicized when you’re black. I’ve shave my hair twice now. Once during 2020 I was losing my mind and I needed to feel something. It was the best experience ever I did so many things with my hair and this year I cut it again. Even when you cut off your hair other black women will act like you committed a crime. In honesty I chose to cut off my hair to not be held hostage by it even though I had locs It still mattered to me that long hair = social capital. And my self worth plummeted because all I cared about was how I would be perceived. I chose to ignore how much it bothered me that it was so damaged and it was affecting my scalp + skin (I dyed and fried it). I’m here now and I’m trying wash and go’s with my hair cut short and guess what people like it and they still like me. I’m learning to appreciate how I look and prioritize how I feel. Like I really want a piercing now. I want to be person who gives less af about what ppl think of me but I’m a little sensitive and I have bad people pleasing habits I’m really trying to focus on.
Ixa
2025-01-27 19:30:57 +0000 UTCik this video is about the hair but your face is BEAT babyyyyy
kennedyymarieee
2025-01-27 17:12:55 +0000 UTCWould love to hear your thoughts on Black brands in Target, and the the way brand owners are moving since Target's DEI rollback announcement.
Taylor Washington
2025-01-27 14:48:45 +0000 UTCSide bar your teeth look amazing Kenya!!! Braces update?
Noel Chong
2025-01-27 11:09:19 +0000 UTCSomebody said it in the comments but doing your natural hair is low maintenance and not as high maintenance as the influencers say it is. Once you start doing your hair for your texture it makes such a difference. Granted you have to find what works for you. I literally shampoo, condition, deep condition every other week, and use foam for my wash and go and boom I’m done. But it took A LOT to get to this conclusion. Also since I work out a couple of times a week, I have to wash my hair at least once a week which is why a wash n go is my go to
Lavender1495
2025-01-27 01:08:18 +0000 UTCThe 30 min mark of this video, PREACH
Lavender1495
2025-01-27 00:50:09 +0000 UTCI love where I am in my hair journey, I will prob straighten my hair once or twice a year and will keep it natural the rest of year. I wore my natural hair to a wedding last year and never felt more beautiful. I wish more people loved their natural hair but hey I can’t judge if someone doesn’t because I once did not like my natural hair at all Growing up in a Dominican household, your hair was EVERYTHING and I was the only one who had “black” hair since my dad was Nigerian and so I got a relaxer in 4th grade through high school. Senior year of high school I made the decision to stop since the burns were just too much and in college started my natural hair journey. I didn’t really appreciate my natural hair until 2018 when I started getting my yearly cuts and stopped putting as much heat I used to, and slowly seeing my curls come to life, then my family started to LOVE (😒) my curly hair. The trial and error of it all
Lavender1495
2025-01-26 23:48:48 +0000 UTCThis was a very good video. Proud of where I am with my hair journey. Also don’t really care what others do with their hair except when it comes to perms. I do believe they’re bad for your health especially your immune system. Actively think we shouldn’t encourage ppl not to get them as a community. Not in “shame on you way”… in a “please be careful with that stuff.”
Ola Ogun
2025-01-26 20:45:17 +0000 UTCsuch a good conversation and it came at the perfect time for me cause i’m wanting to really nurture my hair lately. my mom did my hair up until i moved for college and i went through a looooong phase of wigs and head wraps because i just couldn’t be bothered to learn to do my hair myself. i was also majorly depressed and had no sense of self worth at that time, so when it came to my hair, i was always like “why even bother?” but i still cared enough to hide it even when i was just at the house and hanging out with my roommates. it wasn’t until i shaved my head spontaneously that i really confronted my feelings about my hair and looks. looking back now, i feel so sad for not using that time to unpack those insecurities and learn what my hair needs and how to do all these different techniques and styles. but now i’m eager to learn and see what i can do with my own hair. i’ll walk out the house looking any kind of way cause it really is just hair at the end of the day. and if i’m not feeling it, i’ll just shave it off again ☺️
Nysh
2025-01-26 20:26:34 +0000 UTC“Not to be spiritual😒” bye💀💀💀
Vanessa Carlos
2025-01-26 12:46:27 +0000 UTCI’ve gone through every phase under the sun, clip ins, wigs, weaves, natural, braids - you are 100% perceived differently it’s insane
Vanessa Carlos
2025-01-26 12:18:52 +0000 UTCmiss ma'am looks so good
Brianna
2025-01-26 02:15:21 +0000 UTCNatural since 1998. A few decades and a lot of lessons later, I feel confident in my ability to style my hair and I'm happy with how it looks the vast majority of the time. Some helpful advice: Shape is important and can make a huge difference in how much you like your hair. We all have different face shapes and features. I find I typically look good when there's volume concentrated at the crown of my head, so I always cut my hair with that in mind. You have to find the shape that works for you. If you have mid length to long hair, master a simple bun first. It will serve you whether you're wearing jeans or a gown. Once you've got it, you have a fail safe style that always looks good and will only ever take you 5-10 mins. If you're hair is short, again a good shape is your friend and does most of the work. Find what styling products work for you if you want added definition and enjoy the ease of shorter hair (I'm currently doing so right now).Experiment at night when the stakes are low. You will learn so much with the pressure off, and if you botch it, no harm no foul because you're just going to bed. You'll eventually figure out what does and doesn't work. Feel free to ask questions
Val H
2025-01-25 21:31:32 +0000 UTCI love and agree with everything said in this video. My two cents: I believe that the women who wouldn’t be caught dead wearing their natural hair in public may not have given it a fighting chance to flourish. Spending years in the habit of covering up your hair will make you forget what’s actually happening up under there. You may be pleasantly surprised how gorgeous your natural hair texture can be if you give it a chance.
carly gill
2025-01-25 18:06:10 +0000 UTCIt saddens me to see relaxers making a comeback in popularity. I wish more people felt empowered to embrace their natural hair, but I also understand the harsh reality we face—a world where discrimination and harm based on hair are still pervasive. The existence of the Crown Act, while important, is not enough. Its very necessity highlights how deeply rooted these issues are in the U.S. alone, let alone on a global scale. This is why I focus on extending grace while actively working to dismantle white supremacy, and unpacking!!
Tired Sahelian
2025-01-25 16:38:45 +0000 UTCI hate my hair😭😅this feels like an AA meeting bearing our souls. Thank you Kenya for making this a safe space. Definitely lots to think about.
Cynthia
2025-01-25 16:36:08 +0000 UTCThis is a great video and conversation starter. I’ll be reading the comments, but here are my (MANY) thoughts: I don’t believe in policing Black people’s hair—non-Black folk already do that enough. Conversations about relaxers, weaves, and wigs often lack nuance and honesty, turning into opportunities to shame Black women. As Black people, we don’t have the luxury of doing whatever we want with our hair and bodies without judgment, and it frustrates me that we sometimes add to that pressure. Still, because we *don’t* have that luxury, our choices inevitably become political. It’s a constant “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation. I agree with you—if someone chooses relaxers, I’d rather they be upfront about not liking their natural hair than claim it’s “hard to maintain.” That rhetoric bothers me because it’s untrue. All hair types are challenging if you don’t know how to care for them. Don’t get me wrong—my 4C hair tests my patience, but it’s no harder to manage than other styles. I have 0 issue with people preferring straight hair, braids, or wigs, but let’s be real: texturism does play a role for many. Media consistently elevates type 3 hair while sidelining coilier textures. That’s why it’s so important to stop buying into mainstream media’s narrow portrayal of beauty and hair care. We need to learn our own hair, experiment with products, and figure out what works for *us* instead of chasing trends or influencers’ routines. Like you said, I don’t look to natural hair YouTube channels too much anymore. I might watch for techniques, but I don’t follow everything they do. When I used to fall into that trap, I’d get frustrated when my hair didn’t turn out like my favorite influencers’—even though I knew we didn’t have the same hair type. That cycle of comparison and disappointment only deepens frustration with our hair. It’s also ok to not like your hair sometimes or go through phases where you just don’t want to deal with it. What saddens me is that everyone else seems to be allowed that phase except Black women. We’re expected to always love, celebrate, and defend our hair—even when we’re exhausted or frustrated with it. That’s why I try my best to be there for anyone who shares their struggles with me. Instead of judgment, I want to offer understanding and support because those phases are normal and valid. Growing up in a Muslim household, braids were my go-to. I couldn’t keep a silk press for more than 24 hours because frequent ablutions meant constantly wetting my hair. That made me appreciate and learn about my natural hair early on. However, I’ve also noticed many Black Muslim women struggle with natural hair—especially if they wear hijab or are married. Ablutions multiple times a day can make it hard to maintain “cute” hairstyles, let alone wear an afro under a hijab. For Black Muslim women, the intersection of religious practices and Black hair care adds a unique layer of complexity. As a new hijabi, I went from afros and wash-and-gos to styles like straight backs and braids before eventually trying locs (which I recently unraveled). The transition was tough; I missed seeing my loose hair and showing it off. That experience gave me more grace for others. If someone says their natural hair is “hard,” I’d rather help than shame them with self-hate accusations. But honesty is key for those conversations to be productive. For example, I have low-porosity hair, and it drives me crazy sometimes. If I don’t detangle and style it immediately after washing, it dries tangled. With so much hair, detangling feels like a marathon. But I try not to dwell on frustration because negativity can turn into true hair hate. That’s why I believe so strongly in community (and that's where I get political lol). Surrounding yourself with Black people who understand and support you can help you navigate these struggles and avoid drastic decisions like relaxing your hair without reflection. Our hair is a huge part of our identity, so introspection and support are essential.
Tired Sahelian
2025-01-25 16:28:00 +0000 UTCThis is the natural hair rant to end all natural hair rants. 10 years from now I'm still gonna be thinking about this video, trust
Alexandria U
2025-01-25 16:24:33 +0000 UTCThis was such a great video omgg!! Incoming rambling: I’d say for me, my hair insecurity regarding was always length, and as someone who also grew up in a black Muslim household (who ironically enough we probably do got the same hair texture lol) I really couldn’t do much to it compared to my peers around me. But now that I am adult and I’m the main one taking care of it, even with me predominantly wearing my natural hair and learning to do braids, this was such a read for me too! Like the whole time I was like “you right, your right and you should say it”. Everyone has these insecurities and working through them is just the only way to stop hating this part of you. And that seems like such a “duhhh” thing to realize but having you say it Kenya, I’m like “you know what YEAH”. Agreed with all these points, thank you!
L
2025-01-25 15:07:52 +0000 UTCLove this conversation. Regarding natural hair being hard, I agree you just need to learn it. My hair is thick and long and type 4 and women typically tell me they know my hair takes a lot of work, but it really doesn’t. And I only do my hair once a week, sometimes a style can last 2 weeks! So sure the one time I wash my hair will take 2/3 hours but it’s simply not that big a deal. When I had a lace front on I found that needing wayy more maintenance.
Phin
2025-01-25 14:27:39 +0000 UTCYou are so so real Kenya it’s like we have the same brain. I’ve been natural since high school and it makes me feel like the truest version of myself I could ever be.
Chris Tina
2025-01-25 06:45:30 +0000 UTCSomeone told me I hated my blackness because I decide to take my starter locs out lol, I was like whatttt? Some people take things too far. I love my natural hair and I love doing different styles to my hair
Diedra
2025-01-25 05:33:23 +0000 UTCU was spittin
Deidra
2025-01-25 04:51:15 +0000 UTCI’m gonna be honest I do hate my hair, I hate how short it is when I wear 4c extensions with a big fro I feel more like a woman . Anyways I’m working on it though
Sarah Uwagbai
2025-01-25 04:25:02 +0000 UTCand it’s so weird because i spent a long time being jealous of other people’s looser hair textures until i learned how to take care of my hair on my own. i started paying more attention to my hair, relearning my hair, working WITH my hair instead of AGAINST it, and my relationship with my hair changed. but here’s the weird part: when i did this, a friend of mine recently expressed that SHE was jealous of MY hair. mind you, this friend has the looser, 3c, curly hair that i used to be jealous of, and i have tight type 4 hair. and when i asked why, she said something along the lines of ‘it’s so curly and behaves so well’. and that had me STUMPED y’all. i spent so long vying for her type of hair, the type of hair that is considered the black beauty standard, only to find out that she doesn’t like her hair either. mind you, even though i LOVE my hair now and think i’m the finest i’ve ever been, i still think her hair is gorgeous on her. it just goes to show that black women across the spectrum, even those we deem to be the standard, still struggle with their relationship with their hair.
Imani Branch
2025-01-25 04:18:07 +0000 UTCkenya—YES to all of this! someone tried to start this convo on the clock app and the amount of disingenuous sentiments made me clock tf out. i decided recently that i’m just going to leave black women alone to unpack (or not unpack) their relationship with their hair. because it’s true: we all struggle with our hair. some of us more than others. it’s a matter of being honest about it and not putting your head in the sand and trying to block out the noise by saying ‘it’s MY hair, why does it matter, etc etc etc.’ since black women deal with enough, i leave them alone. i personally have had to unpack a lot when it comes to my natural hair, even though i’ve been wearing it for my whole life, so i’ve been learning to be more kind and understanding with black women that don’t have the same experience.
Imani Branch
2025-01-25 04:12:55 +0000 UTCThis conversation is so good. I've listened to it twice
Alexandria U
2025-01-25 03:00:00 +0000 UTCas someone who’s been natural for 10 years now agree 100% that the girls need to just be honest about why they don’t want to go natural and not come up with all these excuses……natural hair can be very low maintenance if you’re not trying to force your curl pattern into something that it’s not. type 4 hair is not going to become type 3 hair no matter how many products or tools you use
cc
2025-01-25 02:42:15 +0000 UTCI HATE MY HAIR...alright fam y'all back me up na
Vic
2025-01-25 02:27:45 +0000 UTCme, watching this with my hair in a puff: 😀
a.sierra
2025-01-25 01:41:23 +0000 UTCunless there’s a magic product that can remedy this…👀
Kenya Moore
2025-01-25 00:43:04 +0000 UTCi have to say: since going natural back in 2019, i have ZERO regrets. now if i’m being 100% honest, i wish my hair was as thick as yours 😭 i don’t even care about the texture or curl pattern, but i just wish my hair was thicker & more full ):
Kenya Moore
2025-01-25 00:41:42 +0000 UTCgrowing up, sitting between my mamma's legs, having that hair braided to the SCALP, was my favorite part of Sundays <3
Shaquan Harris
2025-01-25 00:13:56 +0000 UTCAll the best on your journey Erica!!
Faith Mbadugha
2025-01-25 00:06:01 +0000 UTCMan this is such a heavy convo. I feel like the first time I went bald I learned the biggest hair lessons. I actually inspired my little cousin to go bald a few years later sometimes you tie your femininity into your hair but when you walk through the world bald as a woman you will never learn what being a woman really means for you until you do this. Maybe just for me but I couldn’t have learned that lesson any other way
Alivia
2025-01-24 23:35:50 +0000 UTCMaybe this is a weird way to describe it but I think when I moved in with my first boyfriend I learned a lot about my own “beauty” standards and the sort of partner attraction. I think not everyone but some people haven’t experienced honest feedback from an intimate partner and so they don’t have the confidence to walk in their skin & hair
Alivia
2025-01-24 23:31:30 +0000 UTCGrowing up I think my parents hated my hair growing up but I don’t hate my hair I just didn’t know how to do it. Once you figure out how to manager your hair you just grow into it
Alivia
2025-01-24 23:27:21 +0000 UTCI have dreadlocks but before that I hated my hair. Now it’s no trouble and no problem y
Leo Vickers
2025-01-24 23:13:46 +0000 UTCI agree Kenya looks prettiest with natural wash and go
Alivia
2025-01-24 23:01:50 +0000 UTCAlso, I believe in letting people do what they want with their hair. I will say that on a general level it makes me sad that black women feel like they cannot wear their hair as it grows out of their scalp - key word hear is cannot* - that's what breaks my heart just a little when I hear my friends talk about going back to relaxers. People compliment my hair like I'm special for having grown it out but I'm not! I just loved my hair and took the time to do it! Even though now my wash day is much much shorter I used to love the hours it took to wash and style because I loved my hair and how it looked. On the other hand if you look on a wider scale, you have schools in countries like Ghana which force girls to shave their hair so it's not a "distraction". The hair thing is so much wider than individual preference which is why although I respect people's choices I'm quite sensitive about the convo. There's so much work to do to make people feel like their hair is not a burden, that it doesn't need to be hidden away or "protected". I don't need everyone to be natural but it would be great if more people saw wearing it out as a real possibility.
T.H.
2025-01-24 22:52:41 +0000 UTCi love that quote. It reminds me of a Yeats quote in a poem where he says “in dreams begin responsibility”
emiliaem
2025-01-24 22:30:29 +0000 UTCwoo okay. So this conversation does need to be had. Natural hair warriors have gotten so extreme that they have now started saying wearing protective styles boho braids/butterfly locs is conforming to the american beauty standards. While i think boho braids and butterfly locs are closer to the American beauty standards for women’s hair it is not nor will it ever be the standard. However a lot of the protective styles warriors do hate their hair and hide behind protective styles. Two things can be true. I too used to hide behind protective styles and recently started wearing micro-links extensions that match my natural hair texture. I consider myself natural now bc my natural hair is out but some of the natural hair warriors might disagree. Ultimately we should all just do what we want but some ppl do need to be honest and say they hate their hair.
Jayden Brown
2025-01-24 21:40:42 +0000 UTCi really appreciated this conversation! my hair has always been my biggest insecurity. if it's not done i'm hiding it under a hat, but i've always admired girls who could wear their natural hair with confidence. my mom never showed me how to take care of or style my own hair so I was seated in the JCPenny salon every 2 weeks. im grown now and am still figuring it out, even after countless youtube tutorials lol i realize i have a lot of self-esteem issues to work on, so i really hope i can get to a point where i'm happy with myself. thank you for pointing out how the forced positivity in black womanhood can be not so great.
Erica Howard
2025-01-24 21:02:28 +0000 UTCthis was some good natural hair inspo lol. like you really just have to do your natural hair if you wanna be a person who wears their natural hair and that’s wild (I wear my natural hair but I lowkey treat it like shit 😭)
Sharell Scott
2025-01-24 20:45:51 +0000 UTComg that era where you were youtuber commentator by day and wig reviewer by night was EVERYTHING😭😭
Colby
2025-01-24 20:43:44 +0000 UTCPeople are dishonest on both sides. Natural hair is not easy but whose hair is?? They haven't heard white girls at my job complaining about having to wash and condition their greasy hair after 3 days! All hair takes maintenance but as you say it's what they choose to put effort in. It's the "look" that they don't like and that's just that. And the gym one: natural hair isn't good for the gym but the lace front glued to your scalp is?? Just making excuses I'm sorry!! I think it's all excuses and it unfortunately doesn't help that people on youtube are telling you to put food in your hair and then do an overnight pre-poo with 15 oils like of course you'll be confused
T.H.
2025-01-24 20:34:33 +0000 UTCI'm relaxed but I still get annoyed with the natural girls who say they should go back to being relaxed and so on. Rekaxed hair still requires maintenance and upkeep and can even be more important, don't want your hair falling off
KRYSTAL
2025-01-24 20:27:29 +0000 UTC:,) two posts back to back!! Love your hair!
Faith Mbadugha
2025-01-24 20:14:40 +0000 UTCSo true. For years, I kept my natural hair in braids every other month or so, and I was so confused about why my natural hair wasn’t flourishing. Now, I take better care of my hair. I recently did a big chop last summer, and it has been growing and flourishing ever since. I also am a gym girlie, and I keep my natural hair under a bandana as well! Neglecting my natural hair was the worst decision I’ve ever made. I think growing up and seeing little representation on tv and media made me not really like my natural hair as a kid. The only girls I saw getting praise were biracial women or black women who had long hair past their bra. I’m learning to love my hair day by day 🩷.
Tiara
2025-01-24 20:13:35 +0000 UTCFirst of all this wash and go EATS. Second of all I love talking about natural hair so yayy let's get into!
T.H.
2025-01-24 19:40:37 +0000 UTCWhen the natural hair movement began in my teens, and I saw no tutorials by people with hair remotely close to mine. When bone dry, if you don’t have to go through an internal war to get a ponytail or, more likely, bun in, why are you the face of this movement?
C
2025-01-24 19:40:36 +0000 UTCNonblack people’s misuse and bastardization of the word “woke” is for the history books. Still, the co-opting of the terms “4c” and “type 4” from people with curls as noticeable and definable as a swirly straw is a close second.
C
2025-01-24 19:36:02 +0000 UTC"You probably shouldn't do relaxer because you might DIE." sent me 😂😂
Charity Arrington
2025-01-24 19:35:29 +0000 UTCWhew I am SEATED
Mariah L.
2025-01-24 19:29:44 +0000 UTCClocked in!! You look cute!
Antoinette Lloyd
2025-01-24 19:24:39 +0000 UTC
