When yall gonna leave black mothers ALONE. | Vlogmas Day 2

man my grandma is a white single mom and is on eeeeeevvvveryone's asses about getting married for the kids. like ma'am you had 4 kids and your husband cheated on you and left what did you gain from marriage????

Abby Adams

The way my friend and i were cumming over the idea of an emotionally mature, educated, hardworking hung man. That are not today's men god is still working on them so I don't blame a soul for not staying with them. I do pray in the future whomever come after see better men.

Arie Tv

"you don't have a baby and you have nothing" LMAOOOOOO

Arie Tv

No Kenya, I think all children are a burden, not just Black children. I would feel the exact same sadness for Sabrina Carpenter if she popped up pregnant. But over all I hate it for these young Black girls because it's just a statistical fact that they're going to end up doing most of it alone. That the father of their child is going to embarrass them. That being pregnant IS A SET BACK. You'll never get to move/ act/ be the same. The chances of you popping off in the mainstream is slim. And obviously we know it can be done, but why would I want to see the young Black girls struggling like that if they don't have to? I love Black children, I love Black children that get to be born in wealth, I think Black children deserve the world regardless if you your parents are. But too many times have we seen Black women being drug down by the men they're attached to, and being early 20s and trying to have a career and then attaching your whole life to an ain't shit nigga FOREVER, is disheartening to see.

Angelique

You cheeeeweed. I be thinkin about this aaall the time even at my big age. Part of the thing that scares me about motherhood (for myself) is that, yes babies are cute but at the end of the day...that's A WHOLE HUMAN BEING. They're just in the developmental stage. THAT'S IT. Not even getting into the weeds of the state of the world rn. So whenever a pregnancy is announced I just throw my hands up like, I hope that child grows up with a great support system, and that's all I can really say.

Lilac S.

This! I have to check myself constantly when I catch baby fever. Like I want a baby, but this baby will eventually grow into an adult. It won’t be this cute little thing forever. And as a teacher, children aren’t for the weakkkkk 😭

Bree Kells

Yeah I think there's a point here about pregnancy causing attachment to terrible men. I think it's unfortunate that because of the patriarchy pregnancy and sex are seen as things that happen TO a woman and not something she can willingly and joyfully participate in. And men can use pregnancy to trap women. I feel like if that viewpoint of being owned wasn't so popular people would be less mean towards women who have babies with men even when the men are bums. And surely in those cases the woman is the victim (victim is too strong a word but you know what i mean) and needs love and care right? And then if people realise that sex is not happening TO a woman we can see she made an adult decision and we should be happy for her

T.H.

I think the madness toward black mothers needs to be field of study. I agree it's internalised anti blackness because around my way, nobody says anything when the child is mixed. Why are they waiting for the child to be black & black for the pregnancy to be a problem? It's not as if the white and whatever dads can't be deadbeats too.

Rainy Feathers

Sounds icky coming from a guy who won't be going through it but... the point still stands.

Rainy Feathers

Keith Primas

lol I’m glad Kenya called out some of y’all who were in the comments cause I ain’t forget when MTS got shot some of yall were on the leprechauns side 🙃

Evette

as someone who grew up in a 2 parent household, ain’t shit sweet over here. I knew from day one that the only reason my parents got married was because of me, I’ve never viewed their marriage as one of love and my childhood was still filled with trauma so…. Like it doesn’t make things automatically better

naya C

when people started saying, "oh no halle had a baby. she just started her movie career" do yall think yall know these people? :/

Diana

They do, but that doesn’t make it right regardless

Afftene Taylor

Agreeeeedddd

Reyhan

I was flabbergasted

Reyhan

I’ve never seen a successful marriage in my family either, but I still believe that marriage can be a beautiful thing if the two people involved are willing to work on themselves for themselves and for each other. People bash the idea of marriage, but their frame of reference is usually a terrible/dysfunctional example of marriage. If a marriage is “bad” it’s not because of the legalities of marriage. It’s because the two people involved have soured it and what it’s supposed to represent.

Dynasty Andrews

We need to check our internalized antiblackness when it jumped out. I had a lot of foul thoughts regarding Skai Jackson’s pregnancy and choices but who am I to her, really? 😂😂 Yes she’s jobless but probably has a higher net worth, let me mind my business. Other cultures don’t do this to their own when a baby is on the way. Great video, Kenya!!

babyteph

Also, you have to take into account the “you my bm. I won” of it all. A lot of black women were traumatized by that statement and just the overall idea that a man has conquered and owns you forever once he has a baby with you out of wedlock. I think that’s where some of the fear comes from but I do agree sometimes people on the Internet get too crazy with it. Like at the end of the day, a young girl in her 20s with a successful career having a baby is not the end of the world.

Baddiebey_x

Oh wait nvm I got it confused with “the no. 1 ladies detective agency” it’s sort of the same plot but is written by a white man

Baddiebey_x

I’m so glad I have bc I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 18 I had been suffering since I was 10 with my periods and bc helped my hormones so much !! It’s a health thing for me to take bc AND it helps me not get pregnant hallelujah

Kayvonne Ferguson

What did Bey say? “I will always love you, but I'll never expect you to love me when you DON’T LOVE YOURSELF 🗣️”

JT

“Kenya thinks she parted the seas so I can never find myself in an unsavory situation” is suuuuuuuuuch a bar 😅 I used to think I was the freak bc people berated me for how I treat myself when no……. People just hate themselves and expect me to feel the same way about myself which just will never be true. Like you don’t think deep down the sun shines out of your ass? That’s tough 🫢

JT

Sex Lives is sooooo good and is definitely written/curated by a Ghanaian author (Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah). She had a whole blog about the sexual experiences of Afro-descendent women

JT

I think it’s complicated. Basically, there’s no right or wrong answer bc nothing will guarantee an easy life and parenting is hard no matter what. It’s all a gamble. But as a man, I just wish for women (esp Black women) to be strategic and careful in when and who they have a child with. But whatever decision they make, I support; even if if takes me a while (Rihanna and that man). In the end, the kids gon be alright.

Shady Tyrell

Yes! I think young women need to focus more on their health. Especially entering your 20s, you need to be besties with your OBGYN. Learning your body, going to regular checkups, learning about contraceptive methods. There’s so women getting “educated” from social media when you really need to be speaking with a DOCTOR

Amaya A

Sex lives of African women is next on my reading list! I was a bit skeptical at first because it’s not written by an African or even a woman but I’ll eventually give it a read

Baddiebey_x

I wish bc worked for me. I tried 4 different types and it wasn’t for me. I agree with you on all your points! Sexual heath is so important! Reproductive health is essential!

M.rachelle

I get what you’re saying about some people just being upset that these black women are getting pregnant because they don’t think black children are a source of joy. However, from my side, a part of me dies every time a young hot black girl gets pregnant because I always think about the fact that they have so much life to live and have so much time to worry about getting pregnant later. That’s why when I see people like Beyoncé, Rihanna, Nicki, Serena, etc., have babies, I’m happy for them because I can tell they lived their life fully before they settled down to have those children. I think the same thing when I see young black girls get married (and I specify black because I can’t relate to white girls). As a woman, so much of yourself gets wrapped up in your family the minute you start one and I mourn the version of them that will go unrealized because they took the family route so early. That’s probably me just projecting, but I always think we have all the time in the world to have kids and a husband, but once you have that, your opportunity to live life for yourself is obsolete.

DariaanMichelle

I don’t think people need to stop having kids, more like people need to think better about their choices about having kids. Having babies when you are READY. Marriage and kids are forever to me. One is just more “acceptable” (by society) than the other. I’m 31 years old and I’m certainly not ready for either marriage or children. I’d love to have all of those things. But as someone who grew up in a single parent household, BOTH of my parents have instilled in me to stay protected. My mother instilled in me don’t rely on a man, take back your own power. I’m already “old” by my family’s standards, but I really don’t care. I’ll get what I deserve when I deserve them.

Dani

every time you say “made up monkey shit” it makes me giggle

DariaanMichelle

Smh that’s so sad 😞 this may be a personal question but do you feel better now with the BC than before? Because if you do then being “fatter” should be the least of your grandma’s problems.

Dani

Taylor Allison Swift is 34 years old she is not old!! WTH 🤦🏾‍♀️ is wrong with people?!

Dani

The most diplomatic answer here!! ❤️

Dani

Keke Palmer wasn’t mentioned although she also falls under this category despite being 7-9 years older than Halle/Flo/Skai… ppl online were bashing her for not being married before getting pregnant and then everyone found out her BD was abusing her…. it would’ve been so much harder for Keke to separate herself and her child from that man if they were married…

Marjay

People say a child binds you to someone forever and like sure, but a marriage binds you LEGALLY. This is the person who would make medical decisions for you in an emergency, choose what happens to your body after death, inherits your property and shares your debts. I'm fine w wanting the baby and not wanting all that. reproductive rights includes the right to have that baby.

Melissa Pierre-Louis

i think a huge problem is people wanting BABIES and not children. so many people suck at raising anyone past that cute infant age and end up shaping degenerates devoid of love. like y’all do realize that children will grow into full fledged adults….right?

a.sierra

I've personally never seen a successful marriage in my family, but I don't think my life would've been better off if I had 🤷‍♀️ my logic is there are happily married parents and sad married parents, there are happily single parents and sad ones; no parental dynamic is inherently better than another. what all kids need regardless is a village or community of trustworthy adults to guide and look out for them!!!

rudi!!!

when ppl tell young famous women that getting pregnant at "the peak of their career" is a deathwish, I just wonder...have y'all never seen working mothers irl??? ppl online will act like Halle Bailey or Flo Milli will be shackled to their baby's nursery for life if they have a kid, but women around the world are able to balance motherhood and working to provide for their children!!! also, to act like famous women can't have multiple peaks or different phases in their careers is so limiting. these women don't lose all ambition just bc they gotta take care of their baby the reality is, w/ the upcoming administration in the white house, the economy is bound to get even harder for everyone, ESPECIALLY young families. the stay-at-home mom fantasy will be even less realistic or possible; everyone will HAVE to work just to survive. we should all extend grace and kindness to pregnant ppl, famous or not, bc it's vulnerable and will probably get even more vulnerable v soon

rudi!!!

this is one of my favorites videos you’ve ever posted because you really got down to it in a way i haven’t thought of. people really think that having black babies is damn near a death sentence. that is so wild!!!!!

tay w

One thing I hope any mother has when having a baby is excellent health insurance. The obgyn visits and the hospital bills can add up and people can acquire medical debt if they don’t have good health care coverage. Some women I know their medical bills from the birth alone are almost like student loan bills. You don’t know if there will be complications from the pregnancy where the mother needs to stay in the hospital longer than expected. Plus you have to consider medical racism. Seeing what other women go through with that debt can really turn someone off of having a child. And if the doctor is reckless then the mother’s life could be at risk. Plus, she could be left with the bill if she’s not on the baby’s father insurance or if the father doesn’t want to help out financially.

Anna

i think that so many black women look at marriage as the goal because it can result in better financial security post marriage. they think alimony is better than child support. marriage doesnt make things better financially. that same broke guy that got you pregnant isnt gonna save you because you got married. youre still gonna be receiving a check for as low of an amount as possible cuz that dude dont wanna pay you 😂 marriages end badly 99% of the time, and its due to the fact that it can be drawn out and involves financials. i have my own standards for my life that i abide by, but i do not force them onto others because there is more than one way to live. imma marry my man asap but i dont plan on having kids until im about 30 and even then i need to be ready. i hate to see a young mother in general because i think sometimes immaturity can result in big consequences, and we see ppl who were genuinely not ready to be parents forced into parenthood, but i dont think being married is going to fix that. plus ppl have kids all the time and it can be just as bad of a decision at 42 and 24 or just as rewarding. ppl shouldnt be so pressed, especially when it results in bullying that the ppl in their own family would never receive.

hydia steele

And the gag is, not all BC causes weight gain. You can just talk to your ob/gyn and switch to another method…

Pearl Kasi

This🙌🏽 Children deserve to be born into stable environments with responsible parents

Pearl Kasi

Having a baby with someone tethers you to them for life. Marrying someone can be reversed, parenthood cannot.

Pearl Kasi

Posting stats on the risk black pregnant women face on Monday and “you’re dumb af for keeping it on Tuesday” oh okay😕

Vanessa Carlos

As someone who grew up in a two parent household, I’ve been saying it’s not all it’s cracked up to be!!!

Vanessa Carlos

As a black woman on birth control, I have heard so much from people who try to fearmonger. I would rather take my chances with BC than unplanned pregnancy! I want to be a mother when I’m READY💕

Pearl Kasi

Same afafaf omg

K Said

the worst person u know is from a 2 parent household: me

Kenya Moore

Ooooh true tea: When I was married to a white man 🙄 the amount of (Black) women—including my own mother— used to harass me about having mixed children. Nah bitch, I’m not having a baby just because you fetishize biracial people. Fuck off weirdos!

carly gill

I am so grateful I was one of those women who had the conversation with myself about NOT having children. I love children, but there’s no need to bring more innocent souls into this trash world. I know my nonexistent children’s spirits are somewhere thanking me. 🙏🏾

carly gill

Deadass! I wish my dad left 🤣

pasteleclectic

And another thing: marriage is NAWT allat. I’ve grown up in a two parent household. My mother has grown up in a two parent household. So has my father. And let me tell y’all: we ALL fucked up in the head 😂

Imani Branch

Moral of the story is fucking leave Black women alone!

TemTem

I’m of two sides about this: for one, people are very mean to pregnant women. Like viciously mean. And it’s even worse for Black women. So I understand what you’re saying about how we need to be kinder to famous women getting pregnant, esp since a lot of the things that ppl are worried about (the finances, their family/community, their careers, etc), the women are obviously not worried about. Beyoncé got pregnant 3 times and look where she is. Rihanna got pregnant twice and look where she is. Cardi B has 3 kids and her career is just fine. Yet I understand people’s frustrations with who some of these women decide to have babies with. DDG is corny, and Skye Jackson’s baby daddy is…a miscreant. I can understand why folks are like ‘why would you want to bring your kid into that?’ But on the other hand, a lot of us have fathers that fucking suck. Let’s be honest. That’s just the reality—a lot of men are just not good people. And until women as a whole decide to just stop having children, there’s gonna be kids with fathers that fucking suck. That’s just the way it is, as aggravating and unfortunate that it is. All we can do is wish these women luck and move on. Offer them support and community and not shun them for their decisions. A lot of our mothers have made the same decisions we shame these women for, and a lot of those decisions led to us being here, lol. Hindsight is 20/20. The best we can do is teach good sex education, remind women that their worth is not tied to men or kids, and just be kinder to one another.

Imani Branch

I don’t know that it’s so much the fact that women are giving birth to black children (at least not from my perspective) than it is who they’re conceiving with and the circumstances they’re bringing their children into. But once a woman decides she wants to carry out a pregnancy and keep the baby, I think they should be met with love and support…not people wishing on their downfall. I think the “she should be at the club” crowd can be loud and wrong at times.

Abisola

it is crazy how pro marriage some people are. i was talking to one of my cousins about that secret lives of mormon wives and she thought the one that got divorce was dumb bc now shes alone now and im like what??? like the woman made it clear she never wanted to get married in the first place her not get married again is probably for the best (shes made some other questionable choices but ntp) but my cousin still thinks that girl is the dumb one bc she thinks marriage is so important

Liz Huerta

Yep my mom was the man in that relationship 😂like riding solo dolo

Sarah Uwagbai

As someone from a two parent household my parents were together because of Nigerian culture and they were so fucking miserable I wished so much they divorce chilee

Sarah Uwagbai

i remember when her a joe broke up. ppl were like omg she wanted to get married this is the age you settle down and get married. and im like maybe for YOU. but taylor swift got taylor swift money. if she wanted to have a baby she would!

Liz Huerta

This. People pretend to lead with a child-first approach on both sides but nobody really does. Because when we really get down to the nitty gritty of childrearing the slip shows and nobody is really qualified

Mariah L.

And it's one thing to say you would prefer to have the backing of marriage to raise a child in a 2-parent household. That makes sense to me! And I agree that it's strange when some ppl say being married is a bigger commitment than having a child with someone. But people who act like marriage is the only way are just so short-sighted. Not only is it severely underselling how marriage literally shortens women's lives, it's such a heteronormative point of view. What about queer people? What about the people who have no interest in marriage at all but want to raise a child alone? What about people with their own curated community that doesn't follow the traditional nuclear family dynamic at all?

Mariah L.

Thank you. You married but your husband can't name your child's pediatrician. Never helped with homework, etc. Oh okay

Mariah L.

God I love when we're aligned. My personal framework is this: - We live in a society that does not value children. People of ALL socioeconomic backgrounds, married or not, take childrearing for granted. This is multiplied with oppressed people and, namely black children as you said. That's the thing people miss from this discussion because they think marriage automatically grants you extra privileges for child rearing which isn't true. In (my) perfect world, we all would be having less children. - Sex education is in the GUTTER and I'm SO glad you called out that (increasingly loud) crowd of black ppl who are becoming very anti-contraception while also anti-abortion. Their solution is LITERALLY "wait till marriage or just accept it cause you shouldn't have been playing around." I largely blame our puritcanical culture and shaming of the natural act of sex. It's 2024 and we should be past these conversations but when people inevitably have sex they have not been equipped with the knowledge or safe space to practice it safely. - One of the most baffling things about the outrage over these girls and the "single black mother rate" (a ridiculous metric no one should be paying attention to) is that these are PUBLIC FIGURES. With MONEY. Y'ALL DON'T KNOW THESE PEOPLE. And you cannot place yourself in their shoes.

Mariah L.

Right- no constructive comments in sight just criticism and for what

Diandra Says

It’s unfortunate, but it does take money to raise children so I don’t think it’s unreasonable to take economic factors into consideration when committing to raise and care for another human being for a minimum of 18 years

Diandra Says

There’s an alarming amount of women that don’t realize they are single while married, simultaneously telling other women what to do with their bodies and their lives. Patriarchy does us in every time, and the terrible thing is that women uphold and push it the most. God help us all

Diandra Says

Kenya be like, "do y'all know these niggas?!" 😂 you are so my little cousin. You have the best vlogmas every year. See y'all tomorrow!

Jasmine

Same my life wouldve 110% better if I grew up with a single mother. Hobosexual dictator took me out cause its so accurate LOL!!!!!

Cosmic Orbit

As someone raised by a single mother, I agree with the video. It wasn’t easy but i would never demonize her.

Serena

As a kid I was always JEALOUS of single mothers. You mean women can raise their kids without a hobosexual dictator in the house!? I used to beg my mom to divorce my dad but she didn’t want to be a single mother (she already was)

daydreamrose

I remember I was talking to my sister real casual about Taylor swift & then out of nowhere she says “Taylor needs to get married soon so she can start having kids before she runs out of time” ……… the way I was dead silent after that 😭 I’m just like HUHHH?? TS not even old & why does she need a ring first if she wants to pop a baby? Weird.

Reyhan

Pregnant women are so vulnerable & it’s disgusting when people come for them like this like?? Maybe have compassion & not wish them the worst weirdo

Reyhan

I’m team yall need to stop fucking having kids but that’s why I don’t have kids, no kid needs to be subjected my life right now let alone this world lmao. But I agree, the conversation is too reactive not proactive. At the end of the day, they already pregnant. Wish them well. Only thing I can’t get behind is continuing to have kids in shitty situations. I think both sides struggle to see kids as actual human beings, worthy of life but also worthy of not suffering

India Barrow

I’m not about to congratulate a woman who’s about to have a baby into undesirable circumstances. You expect people to congratulate Skai for getting pregnant by a man who has a criminal record, been in and out of jail, has a history of house arrest, and several children by several other baby mamas?? I will not be in the sidelines cheering her on. I once heard someone say “women get to choose their partners, but children don’t get to choose their parents”.

Dynasty Andrews

Marriage looks so draining and miserable. Mind you, I come from a two parent household with parents who are married. With the femicide rate the way it is, black women are the first in harms way if they decide to marry these men. You’re literally tying yourself and your entire life, finances, retirement, and more with a man. The only reason black men in the community are huge advocates for marriage is because that’s where they have power. They don’t have any power to conquer others at the workplace, or even their friends. That’s also another reason why they hate modern women who refuse to partner with them. It’s all about control. Congratulations to the black girlies who are expecting. They need nothing but well wishes and support throughout this nine month journey.

Tiara

I’m waiting till my early to mid- 30s to have kids and it’s weird when other people will try and bully you into having kids sooner.

Dynasty Andrews

TALK ABOUT IT! These people hate themselves and hate their mothers, aunts, sisters (any single mothers in their families).

Makenzie

Unpopular opinion: Some of the criticisms that black women get for having kids out of wedlock or becoming single mothers is in good faith. SOME, not all. We’ve seen these exact same scenarios happen within our families, friends, and others, and it usually does not end well. Should we be berating these women for their choices? Absolutely not. All we can do now is hope for the best. But more often than not, the resulting situations are what we hoped wouldn’t happen to them. Now I will say it is slightly different with Halle and DDG because he wants to be there and is there for Halle and Halo. He likes being a father and he is genuinely active in his son‘s life and it’s refreshing to see, so I’ll give him that. Now with Skai and her lil jailbird… I can see where that situation-ship is heading from the moon.

Dynasty Andrews

i agree 100% and ALSO…these women are already pregnant. so what is the “advice” (which isn’t really advice it’s just mean and nasty) going to do now??

simone

I wish we would stop telling people to not have kids because of the economy. The economy is gonna be what it is regardless, and telling someone to wait until the economy is good or when we have a different president sounds crazy

Dynasty Andrews

Yes! People in their late 20’s still be pushing the pullout method to me and it makes me want to scream. I tell people all the time to go see those people in the white coats. They be playing around with their lives and their future kids lives. 😭

Kris

I have always wanted to be a mother but the side eye I get when I say that I am both waiting till im in my thirties and having at most two children.... even when you know that motherhood will be joyful for you society wants to make it bothersome.

titi

at the end of the day that ring won’t keep the nigga at home like please stfu 😭😭

tanieah

Lmao I need birth control to regulate my period but my mum and grandma are always like YOU’LL GET FATTERRRRRRRRRRR it’s truly deranged to me how some women’s minds work my grandma for instance - to her, fuck health, you shouldn’t get fatter. I was taking this medication after being hospitalised for pneumonia and its side effect was making me gain weight and my grandma was very adamant about me stopping it and when I’d tell her I needed it to help me breathe better she’d just counter it with. Yes but you’re getting bigger 🫠

Danielle A

It truly is fucking dire everyone’s just not normal and I really do wanna k to the m to the s because of how abhorrent and stupid they are

Danielle A

HAPPY MONDAY!!! Day 2 baby!!!!

diego