Smashing Snekumstances (Palutena x Shantae Fusion conjoinment)

The Invitation Hall was quiet between candidates, a welcome break in what had already been a long day. Palutena sat poised at her desk, emerald hair gleaming faintly in the soft light. She wore the expression of someone who’d heard dozens of pitches and boasts already, yet still managed to keep a patient, welcoming smile for the next hopeful challenger.

The double doors swung open.

Shantae bounded in, hips swaying to a rhythm only she heard, bangles clinking like tiny cymbals. She twirled mid-step, tried to land gracefully… and nearly toppled into a banner stand before catching herself. With a sheepish grin and a flourish of her ponytail, she struck a pose.

“Ta-da! Your half-genie hero has arrived!”

Palutena chuckled warmly, jotting a note on her clipboard. “Welcome, Shantae. You certainly know how to make an entrance. Now then… Let's start the interview. What do you bring to Smash?”

Shantae’s smile brightened. “Easy! I can transform into animals! Bet no one else can do that~” She launched into a shimmy, hands flicking through practiced motions. In a shimmer of magic, her shape rippled and, with a pop of smoke, she stood as a small, purple monkey. She did a little hop, another wiggle, then shifted back into her usual self, arms spread proudly.

Palutena’s eyes widened, genuinely intrigued. “Remarkable. I’ve never seen transformation magic quite like that. How do you manage it?”

Shantae shrugged, bashful. “Genie magic and dancing. That’s… pretty much the whole secret.”

“Genie magic and dancing…” Palutena repeated, thoughtful. A spark of curiosity danced in her eyes. “Well, as a goddess, I have no shortage of magic myself. Would you… show me again? Perhaps I could try to follow along.”

Shantae’s cheeks pinked with pride. “Really? You want to dance with me? Oh, I know just the routine!”

She clapped her hands, settling into a stance. Palutena rose gracefully from her chair, clipboard set aside, her gown flowing as she mirrored the pose.

The two began to sway together, goddess and genie, their movements slowly syncing as Shantae’s magic shimmered brighter and brighter between them, wild sparks arcing in unpredictable patterns as divine power and genie energy intertwined.

Then the sparks began to sink into their bodies.

Shantae stumbled, blinking down at her legs. Her purple leggings shimmered, then dissolved into scales as her thighs elongated, twisting together into a smooth serpent’s tail that coiled beneath her.

“W-whoa! That’s new!” she squeaked, wobbling as her hips rounded out to support the growing length behind her.

Palutena gasped softly as her own gown split and reshaped around her, emerald-green scales unfurling where her legs had been. Her long hair floated as if in a current while her hips flared, the goddess’s movements forced into an elegant sway to keep balance over the massive tail extending endlessly behind her.

For a moment, both stood in awe as they became two lamias, purple and green, their tails stretching and curling across the polished floor.

“Is this… the transformation you had in mind?” Palutena murmured, though there was a fascinated glint in her eye.

Before either could react further, their serpentine tails began to slide together as if pulled by a magnet. The tips pressed close, scales grinding softly as purple and green melded, fusing into a thicker, longer coil.

Shantae’s eyes widened. “Wait, wait, wait! that’s not supposed to—!”

The fusion surged forward, unstoppable, scales knitting together as their combined tail grew heavier and stronger, curling across the room like a living carpet. It only stopped once nearly seven-eighths of the length had become one massive body, a serpentine trunk of shimmering purple and green.

The two women clutched at their hips, breathless, now perched awkwardly on top of an impossibly long, shared tail.

Shantae glanced at Palutena. “Sooo… do we call this a… two-for-one special?”

Palutena pinched the bridge of her nose, though her lips twitched with amusement. “I think we call it ‘getting out of hand’.”

Both goddess and genie were still reeling, their shared tail curling beneath them in restless coils, when a strange pressure rippled through the place where their bodies merged.

Palutena straightened suddenly. “Shantae… do you feel that?”

“Uh… yeah. And I don’t think it’s heartburn.”

From the thick base of their fused tail, something new began to rise. A third serpentine coil unfurled, splitting upward, shimmering with both green and purple scales. Their eyes widened as a torso pushed free, first shoulders, then arms stretching as if waking from a long sleep.

Long hair spilled down the new figure’s back, its strands shimmering in both emerald and violet, like two rivers flowing together. Her ears tapered elegantly, adorned already with golden ornaments that gleamed with divine light. One eye shone bright green, the other deep purple, and her gown seemed born from their union: part flowing white robe, part dancing purple silks, as if goddess and genie had both dressed her at once.

Finally, she raised her head and smiled.

The kind of smile that could command a temple, or melt a crowd.

“And with that…” she announced, spreading her arms in theatrical flourish, “Shaelutena has arrived!”

The proclamation echoed through the hall.

Silence followed.

Palutena: …
Shantae: …
Shaelutena: …

Shantae finally broke, her voice small. “That… wasn’t supposed to happen.”

Palutena tapped her chin thoughtfully, eyes glittering with amusement. “…No, no. You’ve piqued my curiosity. You definitely get into the closer selection.”

Shaelutena blinked, then leaned forward, her mismatched eyes wide with hope. “…Do I have a shot at getting in too?”

Palutena allowed herself a smile, just shy of a smirk. “You just might.”

“So, uhm…” Shantae whispered, pressing her fingers together nervously. “I did some research about monsters from your world, Lady Palutena. I’ll admit I didn’t quite perfect the Hedraw dance just yet. But I really didn’t expect… this to happen.”

Palutena chuckled from within the tangled heap of bodies and coils. “For the record, this has been the most entertaining application all day.”

That’s when their massive lower half twitched on its own, startling Palutena. The coils rippled across the floor, undulating with intent.

“Did… did you do that, Shantae?” Palutena asked cautiously.

“N-no?” Shantae squeaked.

“I did!” Shaelutena declared proudly, tossing her shimmering hair. “Why do you two keep ignoring me? I am, like, the most important head of the Hedraw.”

Both goddess and genie blinked.

“You are?!?” Shantae gasped, wide-eyed.

“I am!” Shaelutena beamed. “And I feel like dancing, since I’ve got a great chance of getting into Smash! Yay me!”

Before either could protest, she pressed her palms together and swayed her shoulders in rhythm. Then her hips joined in. Then their combined hips. Finally, their entire gargantuan snake-body was slithering in rhythm with her.

“I—I can’t… stop her!” Palutena yelped, trying to grip her chair for balance as the body beneath them writhed.

“This is… uhm… not good,” Shantae admitted, flailing helplessly.

“Come on, girls!” Shaelutena cheered, utterly unfazed. “Hands together! Let’s dance to celebrate the addition of the marvelous genie goddess Shaelutena to Smash! Let’s dance!”

Almost against their will, Palutena’s hands pressed together in perfect unison with Shantae’s, their movements snapping into terrifying synchronicity.

“Wha—?!” Palutena gasped.

Shantae went wide eyed. “I… I have to… dance?! Awaawaawa!”

Then it was over. All three moved as one, their routine dazzling, hypnotic, and absurdly magical, so much so that anyone watching would have been entranced on the spot.

And just like that, the Smash auditions closed for the day.

Due to unforeseen snekumstances.

—

Impressive, aren't they? The things people are willing to do just to get into smash.