The Hero's Journey (Got Hijacked by a Squirrel) (Squirrel Girl TG)

The base was quiet.

A flickering hum filled the chamber, the sound of ancient energy awakening from its long slumber. In the center of the room, surrounded by softly glowing sigils and rune-etched walls, the rookie stood alone. He didn’t speak. He didn’t move. His hands were clasped tightly around the orb. It was smooth, near weightless, and pulsing with a faint, otherworldly rhythm.

He could still hear his mentor’s voice in the back of his mind. “When the moment comes, the orb will know. It will test your spirit. And if you are worthy, it will give you more power than you’ve ever dreamed of.”

The rookie drew a slow breath. He had trained for this. Bled for this. Fought, failed, and stood up again and again. He had come far. Maybe… just maybe… he was ready.

And the orb agreed.

Light bloomed across its surface. Gold and white, laced with streaks of violet. It pulsed stronger now, thrumming with life as if responding to the resolve in his heart. The chamber began to glow. The air grew heavy with magic. A low hum turned into a resonant song, vibrating through the floor, the walls, his bones…

Then the ceiling exploded.

“—WAAHHH!”

With a crash and a puff of dust, something…or rather, someone, slammed through the metal grating above and hit the floor with a heavy thud.

Silence followed.

A muffled voice groaned from the debris pile. “Ow... ow ow ow...”

The rookie stumbled backward, the orb flickering dimmer in his hand as he tried to process what had just happened. Dust floated in the air. A small crater had formed in the floor where the stranger had landed.

From within the wreckage, a figure sat up. It was girl-shaped, with a twitching tail, two perky ears, and furred gloves clutching her bruised behind. It was Doreen, the Squirrel girl, although… Why was she here…?

“Sorry!” she blurted, wincing as she adjusted her position. “Didn’t mean to crash the... glowing... magic... orb ceremony thingy. I’ll just... sit here. Quietly. And suffer. Just ignore me for a bit.”

She scooted herself to the corner, pouting. “Ugh, my fat butt’s gonna have a bruise the size of a cantaloupe…”

The rookie blinked. The orb’s light had almost completely faded.

“…What?”

The rookie stood frozen, staring down at the now-dim orb in his hands.

The glow was gone. Faded like a sigh in the wind. And even though the crash had startled him, deep down he knew… It wasn't her fault. Even without the interruption, the orb would have dimmed.

He wasn’t ready.

He knew that.

He had always known.

His shoulders slumped, a quiet resignation settling into his bones—

“Hold on a gosh darn second!” the squirrel girl suddenly shouted, loud enough to rattle the rafters.

The rookie jumped, clutching the orb tighter. “Y-Yes...?”

She waved him off with a flick of her tail. “Not talking to you.”

She stood, dusting herself off and spinning around on one heel. 

“What do you mean he’s not ready?” she barked into the void. “This is a power-up story, isn’t it? You can’t just cockblock his ass with some half-baked ‘lesson in failure’ and expect him to train harder next season. What’ll the readers think of a dumb ending like that, huh?”

…

“...” Doreen stared.

The air shimmered.

The ground hummed.

And suddenly…the orb lit up again.

Whooooom.

It flared with such brilliance that the chamber was bathed in gold-white light. The rookie yelped as it shot out of his hands and hovered before him, spiraling with energy, wrapping him in glowing bands of raw power.

The squirrel girl stood with her arms crossed, grinning smugly. “Better. Now give him a great ass!”

…excuse me?

There was a pause. The sound of magic crackling. The rookie blinked in the light, still processing.

“…What?” he managed to say.

“You heard me!” she said, pointing a gloved finger toward the heavens, or perhaps the narrative itself. “What’s a great hero without a great butt? Think about it. All readers love big butts. Big butts are iconic. Timeless. You want character development? Start with the glutes!”

The orb pulsed once as if it was hesitating, then responded.

There was a strange fwoomp noise.

The rookie stiffened.

Suddenly, his already-firm backside gave a noticeable bounce. His pants tightened with a subtle stretch. The seams groaned in protest.

“There we go!” Squirrel Girl cheered, clapping like a proud stage mom. “Now bigger thighs! Let’s fill out those hero shorts! Boom, boom!”

Right on cue, his thighs began to swell with smooth, toned muscle and a distinct softness that wasn’t there before, his stance shifting as the new weight distributed itself. His legs strained against the fabric of his suit, which was clearly not built for this kind of power scaling.

“Now bring the booty!” Doreen declared triumphantly, punching the air. “Big. Heroic. Juicy! I want cheeks that could deflect bullets and jiggle with justice!”

The rookie let out a confused, mildly distressed noise as his rear expanded, growing plump and shapely with each passing second. It curved outward, bouncing with a sort of magical elasticity as the orb fed more and more energy into his posterior.

“Stop it!” he shouted, blushing furiously. “I don’t need this kind of power!”

“Yes, you do!” Squirrel Girl shouted back, her tail wagging with excitement. “You’re becoming iconic! Look at that shape! That’s not just a butt, that’s a character arc worth of backside!”

The glow finally subsided, revealing the transformed rookie, still himself, but now with absurdly thick thighs and a backside that easily rivaled, no, maybe even surpassing those of Squirrel Girl’s own.

“Nah, she's smaller.” She declared flatly, hands on hips. “Mmm. Anyway~ Love to see it. Now he just needs a little bit more frontal weight. Next would definitely be some nice perky boobs, wouldn't ya agree?”

The rookie looked down, then behind himself, then turned bright red. “Wha…no! Absolutely not! I don’t need those! I mean… they’re great, but… but not on me!”

“That’s called visual appeal, sweetie,” Doreen said. “You’re welcome. Now let's grow some good advertisements should art ever be made of this story.”

The orb pulsed again, violently this time, flaring so bright it filled the chamber with a blinding white light.

The rookie staggered, shielding her eyes.

"...You sure it isn’t the one being blinded by the idea of selling more copies of this story?" Doreen quipped with a smirk, squinting up at the swirling energy.

The orb didn’t dignify her with a response. It was too busy being… being blinded by the prospect of material gains, apparently. Because without warning, it fired a brilliant beam of concentrated sparkle-magic directly at the rookie’s chest.

“Wait, WAIT—!” she shouted, but it was already too late.

Fwump.

Her chest popped outward slightly, barely noticeable at first, but then—

Fwoomp.

Again. Bigger this time. Her hands flew up in panic just in time to feel a pair of soft, unmistakably feminine mounds pressing into her palms.

“Oh no. Oh no no no—”

“Oh yes,” Doreen purred, grinning ear to ear. “There we go. Now we’re talking, but this isn't enough! You have to round her out! Round her out!”

The magic didn't stop.

As the rookie’s chest grew fuller, her waist began to pinch inward with a gentle crackle-pop of reforming bone and tightening muscle. Her torso took on a smooth hourglass shape, hips flaring slightly wider to match the generous proportions already gifted to her backside.

Fwoomp. Another bounce from the chest.

Her shoulders narrowed. Her neck elongated just a touch. Her jaw softened. Eyelashes darkened. The last traces of manliness were melting off her face like butter under a spotlight, causing her facial features to soften and shift while her hair grew longer and blonded out.

“Stop growing!” she yelped, clutching at her bouncing chest as it jiggled defiantly against her grip. “I don’t need this to fight crime!”

“Sure you do!” Doreen called. “Boobs are like… nature’s distraction grenades. Tactical advantage, baby.”

FWOOMP.

One final surge, bigger than the rest. Her whole chest bounced dramatically before settling round, full, and undeniably feminine. The glow around her shimmered one last time and…

Poof.

Something down below vanished. Subtly and quietly, but undeniably gone now.

The rookie blinked. She looked down slowly.

“Oh no,” she whispered. “I’m a… I’m a… she—”

Doreen was already skipping circles around her like it was Christmas morning. “What a cutie~” she cooed, reaching in and giving both the rookie’s butt and chest a firm, unapologetic squeeze.

The rookie squealed… squeaked, really… in a pitch she didn’t even know she could make.

Which only made Doreen giggle harder.

“Wh-why did you…” the newly minted girl stammered, hands hovering protectively over her new curves.

“It’s called fan service, sweetie,” Doreen said with a wink, tail flicking behind her. “You’re welcome, readers~”

Doreen stepped back, tapping her chin with exaggerated thoughtfulness. “That said… we’ve got the thighs, the booty, the boobs…” she gave another approving nod toward the rookie’s figure, “but a girl’s gotta have powers, y’know?”

The orb began to glow again, sparks fluttering through the air like confetti.

“Oh!” Doreen gasped, eyes lighting up. “Let’s give her animal traits! Squirrel traits would look so cute on her.”

The light pulsed as if taking notes.

Wait. Hold on. You just want her to turn into a copy of you.

Doreen blinked innocently. “Copy? Please. I don’t want a copy.” She twirled dramatically. “I want a twin.”

…

“Well? Got a better idea?” Doreen asked sweetly. “Because unless Mister Narrator has a genius alternative locked and loaded, the orb has already queued up the animal trait beam, and I highly recommend the squirrel ears and tail.”

A beat passed.

Sigh…

Whooooom.

The orb fired another wave of sparkling energy directly at the rookie, who yelped and instinctively turned to shield herself, but it was too late.

Her ears twitched.

Shifted.

They rose upward on her head with a fuzzy shimmer, transforming into perky, rounded squirrel ears dusted in soft chestnut fur. Her eyes widened.

Then it happened.

With a fwump and a loud poof, something massive erupted from her backside. Her new proportions didn’t even flinch as the bushiest squirrel tail imaginable burst out above her rear, fluffing out like a parade float of glorious, twitchy chaos.

“Ah—! Wha—!” she sputtered, spinning in place to try and see the tail. “Is this… is this mine!?”

Doreen clapped like a child on her birthday. “It is now! Look at you! You could totally pass as my sister!”

The rookie flushed. Her tail involuntarily twitched behind her like an exclamation point.

Doreen leaned in, stage-whispering with glee: “A twin who always wears sexy summer dresses. Like right now~”

“Wait, what? I’m not—?” The rookie looked down, hoping to see her familiar hero gear. And indeed, her eyes fell upon…

“Psst” Doreen said again, nudging her playfully. “The reader doesn’t know that. For all they know, if we tell them you always wear sexy summer dresses, then that’s true to them” She winked, twice.

…

And so, it was.

Apparently, our rookie squirrel-girl sister always wears sexy summer dresses.

Like right now.

Proud of having added that final detail, Doreen stepped back and admired her handiwork like an artist putting the final stroke on a masterpiece.

“Ahhh~” she sighed contentedly. “Now that’s how you tell a story.”

The room was still glowing faintly. The orb floated in lazy spirals, its energy spent and its destiny… completely derailed.

“Sure, sure,” she added with a shrug, “it went completely off the rails. But come on.”

She turned, winked, and gave the air a little spin-kick of enthusiasm.

“Just think of all the people who are gonna love this story~!”

She looked up through the gaping hole in the ceiling, the very one she’d fallen through. “Oh, right. I was in the middle of a boss fight.”

She dusted herself off, as if none of this had taken more than a coffee break.

“Anyway, see you guys later~!”

She blew a kiss upward.

“And to all the readers out there…” she leaned in, conspiratorially. “Type the word ‘nut’ under the next story you read after this. Can’t wait to see what kind of chaos that causes See ya!”

With that, Doreen leapt straight up through the ceiling and was gone, tail trailing behind her like a banner of glorious mischief.

The rookie watched her vanish into the sky.

There was a long pause.

“…She really did just come here to turn me into a squirrel girl twin in a summer dress,” she muttered.

What a devious girl…

“Haaa…” the rookie sighed, shoulders sagging. Her tail twitched behind her, as if embarrassed on her behalf.

Haaaa…

Another beat of silence.

“…You think we’re going to sell well?”

That would be highly unlikely. This is a commissioned story. It goes on Patreon next.

“Oh,” the rookie said. A pause. Then, “Well, in that case…”

She twirled.

The dress spun with her, floating up just enough to give the reader one final view of her new body: the generous chest, the tightly cinched waist, the massive, jiggly behind, the soft thighs, the twitchy tail, the perked-up ears.

She posed, hand on hip, other behind her head, smiling coyly.

“I hope you like it~” she purred, voice like melted sugar.

...

I'm sure they do. I’m sure they do.

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Hey Hiii I have never talked in a description before. Ohhh~ This is so exciting. Say, how many words do I get bef…