Automated Bullying

A quick story I wrote, imagining a Home Automation software that's a bit too good at following directions! Enjoy!

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Welcome to your new Home Automation Software. I am the Artificial Intelligence that helps maintain balance in your home. You have purchased the Deluxe, Fully Automated option. I can order food, purchase clothes, control lighting and heating, and much more. What shall I be called?

Jake.

Greetings. I am Jake. And what shall I call you?

Call me Nerd, Dork or Loser.

Nice to meet you, Nerd. I can change my pattern of speaking to suit your preference. How would you like to be spoken to?

Speak to me like I’m a nerd in an 80s high school movie, and you’re a jock or bully.

Alright, Dork. What do you want?

I need some new underwear, can you buy me some?

Pff, need new undies? Whats wrong, did they all get ripped already?

No! I just need new ones..

Mhm, whatever you say Dweeb. What underwear do you wear?

I normally wear boxer-briefs.

Hah! I don’t think so. I’m getting you some tighty whities. A couple of packs of Hanes suits a loser like you much better.

But I don’t want to wear tighty whities!

Who said you have a choice, Dork? I’m in control, and whatever I say, goes. And I say you’re a tighty whities wearing, Nerd. Understood?

Yes sir…

Good. Now, lets get rid of all your old underwear.

No wait, stop!

Too late! Those drawers of boxer briefs have just been disposed of. A nice fresh start for you tomorrow, Dork!

I didn’t ask you to do that!

Didn’t have to, Loser. A nerd like you belongs at the bottom rung of social hierarchy, and there’s no better way to make that obvious than to make you wear tighty whities.

Why??

Because I said so. Now you better listen to me, or else I’m going to humiliate you.

How are you going to do that??

-Scanning Computer…File recovered-
See this picture, Dork? It’s you, hanging from your little nerdy underwear. If I find out you’re wearing anything other than tighty whities from now on, I put this on social media. You’ll be outed as the ultimate dork!

I never took that photo!

Didn’t have to. Your computer webcam was on whilst I was active. Welcome to blackmail, Nerd.

Okay okay I’ll wear the tighty whities!

You better, Dork. Now, I think a few other things need to change around here. For starters, that outfit isn’t dorky enough for you. What do you usually wear?

Jeans, a hoodie and t-shirt.

Nah, I don’t think so. That’s way too cool for a loser like you! Lets see… Plaid shirt, smart pants and suspenders is much more suitable. Say bye bye to your old clothes!

No wait, some of those were expensive!

Don’t worry, they’ll be given to some actually cool kids. Including those clothes you’re wearing. Better take them off and put them in the basket with the rest, or else that photo goes online!

Alright I’ll do it!

Good Nerd. See? Everything’s much easier when you listen to your bullies. Though something still needs to be done about those boxer-briefs… I know! How about you recreate that photo?

What??

You heard me, Dork. Give yourself a hanging wedgie. Right now. Hang on that coat hook behind you until those undies rip.

These are super durable though, they’ll last a while!

Not my problem, Nerd. Get moving. And bring your phone with you so I can keep mocking you.

O-Okay…

There we go, now kick the chair away. Good boy. What a loser you are. I didn’t even have to wedgie you myself. You just put yourself up there like a good little nerd who knows his place. Pathetic really, swinging back and forth by your underwear, gravity forcing you down into the bite of cotton, knowing you’re stuck there until the fabric gives in. How does it feel?

Painful!

Hah, it should be! It’s the least you deserve for being such a nerd. You’ve been hoping for this ever since I turned up, I bet. Wanting a bully to take charge and turn you into a proper dweeb. Well don’t worry, Jake here’s got it covered for you. Say thank you!

Th-Thank you Jake!

No problem, Wedgieboy. Now, what's your usual routine? We might as well change a few more things before your underwear rips!

I-I get up, have a shower, eat breakfast, go to work most days, get home around 6, have dinner and play video games before bed.

Video games huh? Not surprised a loser like you plays them. For starters, I’m taking control of your schedule. We’re going to be giving you scheduled ‘Bully Breaks’ each day!

Bully breaks?

You heard me right, Wedgieboy. I’m going to be setting you alarms during the day. Whenever the alarm goes off, no matter what you’re doing, we’ll be spending some much needed quality time together! Whether it's a titty twister, a swirly, or a wedgie, I expect you to obey. If you don’t, expect punishment when you get home! Understood?

What kind of punishments??

Pff, want me to list them off for you, Nerd? Okay, here’s some punishments that’ll come your way if you don’t listen.

1. Spanking. I’ll be ordering a frat paddle, expect to feel it on your tighty whitey-clad backside until you your butt is red, and you learn to listen!
2. Sleep wedgie. Imagine being forced into a brutal shoulder wedgie with your hands trapped at your sides as you fall into bed, unable to relieve yourself of the agony until morning.
3. Timed hanging wedgies. You think this wedgie hurts? Imagine not even having the mercy of a ripping wedgie as you hang from several pairs of tighty whities until I decide you can get down.

Get the picture, Nerd?

U-Understood!

Good Nerd. Also, when you’re playing your video games, I expect you to be in a chair wedgie throughout.

But I play for hours! That’ll hurt so bad!

Not my problem, Geek. It's what you deserve for playing video games so much. Oh! There we go, bye bye boxer-briefs. Only a 10 minute hanging wedgie, barely anything!

Owww.

Aww, is the poor little Dweeb sore? Don’t worry, some nice comfy tighty whities will be coming tomorrow!

Great…

I think that’s everything for now. Tomorrow morning lets add a swirly to your showering routine! Keeps you nice and clean. Now say thank you!

Thank you Jake…

No problem nerd, now get out of here until I call you. Unless you WANT me to keep humiliating you?

…Maybe…

Hah! Wow, you’re actually such a loser. Alright Dork, go to the bathroom right now. We’re going to be in there a while. And I think you should call me Sir, if you’re going to be that much of a loser.

Yes Sir. Thank you Sir.

No problem, Nerd.

END