Neural Wraith 3 - Planning

So, with some extra time to work on the book and flesh stuff out, let’s talk about where it’s going (or supposed to go).

This will be a spoiler-lite discussion of my intentions and ideas for Neural Wraith 3. It will cover some of the stuff already in the preview chapters on Patreon.

Overview

The basic concept for this book is to explore the Altnet, and the way that Babylon, various companies, foreign governments, and the people perceive it and rely on it (and, naturally, abuse it while claiming they’re forced to be dickheads by the system, because accountability is for losers).

Tying this idea together with a good mystery was the hard part. When I started Neural Wraith, I planned to use Kraus’s assassination and the hunt for his hidden data stores as the excuse to delve into the Altnet, which would then transition into the corporate side. But I used that with in Book 2 and the banking stuff.

I also thought I would continue the transhumanism started with Kraus, but my plans for that involve more mercs, and I think I need new villains. While just about every human posing a threat will be a cyborg, I want to give the mercs and NLF a rest after two books focused on them.

Hence we’ve ended up with a terrorist attack utilizing the Altnet as a vector, with Babylon’s corps eying each other off as suspects. I still think this works really well thematically, as the triggering event of the story is tied into the main topic of the book (the Altnet and implants).

There have also been a number of new areas of the world I want to explore, and my gut feeling is that I’ve introduced these too quickly and people less interested in worldbuilding are frustrated with them. The mystery thread bounces along a few minor incidents to justify Nick entering the Altnet, while introducing lots of new stuff: Kreova and its fancy biocybernetics; Yggdrasil, the DAO, and Hel; all the info about Aesir; Asgard; Seung Hyeon and his attempts to copy Welk; streamers.

Finally, this book was originally intended to be part of the rising action into a very bombastic fourth novel that would close out the series. Given my current intentions to keep this series episodic and probably quite long, I’ll dial that back.

Thriller vs Mystery

Neural Wraith is pretty solidly a mystery series. It’s not really a detective novel or a police procedural, though, despite having some of the elements that could make it appear as such, because those genres have very specific tropes – and Neural Wraith sometimes explicitly opposes them (there is a distinct lack of respect for the role of law enforcement and justice that police procedurals demands, for instance, due to the cynical nature of the series). It’s basically just a neo-noir mystery series with cyberpunk and harem elements. The biggest inspiration for its structure is the Dresden Files.

Mysteries require specific things, however. Setting up the mystery and persons of interest is vital. The idea is that you should be able to solve it yourself, even if it can be difficult or the writer makes a misstep (e.g. sometimes you might mistake clues for background info or filler). If the clues don’t exist, or new information is added too late in the story, then it’s not a mystery.

But that’s where thrillers come in, and they’re popular. Arguably, they’re easier to write because they don’t require much planning or editing. You can asspull a twist ending without any setup because that’s how they work. They’re a rollercoaster, with a much greater focus on the moment to moment action and emotions.

Ironically, the opening of this book is closer to a thriller and so is the ending. We’ll see whether it works or not, but I don’t think I can write the scenes I want using the standard approach, but I also don’t want to genre shift into a straight thriller.

Helena

She finally gets some focus, due to possessing an interface. One of the downsides is that her interface is bound to the office, but it also means she is physically needy and there are excuses for some strange behavior.

But her major role in this book will be acting as the mediator between Nick and the Altnet. That means her major character development will take place after he finally dives into it. With some likely story restricting to move him into the Altnet sooner (and do it in two waves), I want to break up her characterization into two scenes.

One of the problems with her being a voice in his ear otherwise is that she competes with several characters who want to do that. Rie and Chloe both fulfill that role in slightly nuanced situations – Rie mostly to positively guide Nick, and Chloe to provide information. Ezekiel will also be stepping into a role that involved challenging him more.

The Three Sisters

Rie, Kushiel, and Ezekiel are arguably the main “waifus” but I’m not sure I want to push them much further in this book. Slow paced development is my preference.

Honestly, it’s one of those silly things that crops up a lot. If the girls are around, Nick needs to bang them all right away or else people get upset. But then people complain there are too many girls or that the series is boring because there aren’t more being introduced in later books. So I’m just going to leave things as they are.

It also fits their personalities more. Rie was obsessed with Nick, but Ezekiel has a deep-seated enmity toward him even if she is trying to learn. Kushiel is clearly into him, but has enough issues to crash a counsellor doll. Nick’s not ignoring her advances so much as taking into account some of her underlying hostility toward humans in general.

We’ll see how that pans out in practice. The real issue is that Meta and Helena are the priority for the book, so I’m not sure if I want to risk taking away their time for others.

The Kreova Connection

Long-time patrons (or just those who have actually used the index) will be familiar with an old story I started called “Billions.” It featured a megacorp in a floating city called Kreova.

Well, I’ve decided to integrate that world into this one. I don’t know if I’ll actually write that story, given how things are going, but it adds a few features that I can use. Competition between megacorps and alternative tax haven islands is a fun one. But mostly, it adds biocybernetics and the immersion pods.

Nick always needed some way to use the Altnet. The trick was finding a way to ensure there was lots of friction. A huge pod that Nick needs prep to use is perfect, and the explanation that Kreova has basically banned implants in a tit-for-tat conflict with Neo Westphalia is a great reason they might exist (and for Nick to be unaware of them in Babylon).

Biocybernetics are initially an excuse for floof, but they have longer term potential. I do wonder if they need more explaining, but the general idea is that rather than huge chunks of metal and electronics forcefully attached to the body (which are considerably harder to swap out than in Cyberpunk 2077), biocybernetics involve lab-grown implants that can be surgically integrated with the body. They can also use electronics for certain features, but they’ll never be as tough or strong as the metal stuff. In short, they’re cosmetics for the rich.

The Altnet

Up until now, the Altnet has mostly been talked about as a way for people to instantly communicate or in terms of augmented reality. You walk around and see shit in real life due to your implant, but it’s also like having your phone, computer, webcam etc stuck in your head 24/7.

This book touches on the virtual reality side, and comes with the risk of the metaverse stuff. While the way I’ll cover it will be fairly cynical, I’m pretty glad that most of the internet rage machine about the metaverse has died down over the past few months. I don’t really care to talk about all the issues with bulky headsets and cartoony avatars.

There is a lot of fun to be had exploring some of the other aspects, at least in passing. Corporations could do a lot of stuff that is difficult IRL very easily in a virtual environment, and probably make a lot of cash. To some extent, it will also just be poking fun at some stupid internet stuff.

One of the harder parts to manage is the fine line between the cliché of people living in the Altnet and the reality that Babylon doesn’t put up with that nonsense. Because there is a reason the Altnet is being established, that is being pushed by several characters and fits thematically with this book. Namely, that the fallout of “progress” can be better managed in a virtual environment than a physical one.

The influencer side helps here, because it ties into an IRL generational gap. Older generations largely use the Altnet for its augmented reality features or to replace the devices you’re used to. But people Nick’s age and younger are increasingly devoting themselves to the virtual ocean – there’s a reason Sung is annoyed whenever he has to break immersion and deal with Nick’s text chat.

Streamers/Influencers

A part that may court some controversy, simply because it deals with creatives and the drama they produce. Also, it’s touching on AI stuff and that’s an issue in the genre right now.

First, I’m still thinking about what to call them. Influencer is such a generic term for them, but I’m tempted to use it, especially as streamer might be too specific. I’m wary of making up my own term for it (e.g. netcaster, or some nonsense) because it wouldn’t add much while reducing readability.

When it comes to their role in the story, they’re both involved in the mystery and the themes. I can’t speak much about the mystery, so let’s talk themes.

Much like how dolls are automating jobs, the Altnet is changing them as well. The influencer stuff is intended to tie into the way regular people in Babylon are trying to deal with the fallout (rather than just Nick commenting on how his mother and others have money-losing doll-run businesses), which will by its nature touch on some hairy IRL stuff. There are strong reasons to get the hell out and try this. As angry as tabloids are, there’s a reason kids want to be Youtubers (and their grandparents wanted to be rockstars).

But that’s more an underlying theme. Because what I really want to do is tie this into some of the stuff brought up in the previous book about power for Nick’s character arc (if you remember his discussion with Lucas). The tech involving influencers has a habit of empowering some of the worst people, who then have a habit of making up excuses for why they do awful things. So, yeah, this is going to be fairly negative. There’s a reason I’m calling them streamers, and that’s where pretty much all the examples will be drawn from (plus some YouTube stuff, such as the influencer training scams).

In short, power reveals. The system isn’t forcing these people to be awful, it’s enabling awful people. There’s a large gap between making clickbait YouTube thumbnails and blatantly scamming people.

However, this stuff bores some people to tears, in much the same way I struggle to relate to a table full of people whining about the latest office drama. If it’s your job, then you’ll find it fascinating, but my god I think I’ll limit my time out with social groups whose only thing in common is work. So for that reason, while this section sounds preachy, I’ll be trying to avoid it coming across like that in the book. Older cyberpunk fiction largely predates modern communication (their metaverses are based on older visions of the net), and especially influencer culture, so I feel it would be a missed opportunity to leave out this part of the fun.

Oh, and I have a couple of funny scenes in mind. Those are always good, too.

Asgard

Another city in Neo Westphalia, and Aesir’s HQ. I’m not sure if the chapter that shows it off will survive with the changes I’ll make. The main shift is going to be bringing the Altnet forward. There has to be at least one visit to Asgard, both to introduce Seung Hyeon (who must be introduced before a certain point, as he plays an important role in the ending) and to reconcile a major plot point but I might be able to handle it in one go around the middle of the book.

Originally, the main purpose of showing off Asgard was to showcase that Neo Westphalia was bigger than one city and to cement Aesir’s power.

However, with so much other stuff being introduced, plus the Altnet to explore, I think Asgard is just a little too much for this book. I’m curious about any thoughts on this matter. But other than a brief visit, the details might get glossed over.

More Politics

It’s kind of impossible to avoid politics in this book. There are strong corporate vs corporate vibes, but also the underlying cynicism that none of the companies really care. This ties into the plot, as will become clear.

I also need to make Aesir’s power clear. One of the benefits of the Asgard visit was the show of force upon showing up (or so I thought). Soft power rather than just sending an assassin after Nick, which wouldn’t really work due to the Archangels. Heavy-hitting merc teams have already been tried, after all. So they threaten his job using other means, including through Kim or through freezing the investigation in legal hell. I’ll need to rethink this aspect when I remove the Asgard visit, as certain events won’t happen in time for it to matter in the same way.

The other major aspect is the international stuff. Babylon is basically a tax haven, and its companies operate everywhere in the world. The brief mention of RTM essentially ripping money out of the US in exchange for effectively nothing is pretty normal as an Australian.

On the flipside, bringing in foreign intelligence plays into the escalation theme but also lets me try again at introducing a long-term foil to Nick. The series needs some long-term characters in various roles, including more antagonistic ones. I can also show off how Babylon responds to external threats, which will be important as those occur more often.

Rear-Loaded Action

One of the downsides of my current outline is that there isn’t much actual combat or action. The ending is a big action scene, and there’ll be stuff around the end of Act 2, but the focus on the Altnet removes much of the other possibilities.

I have a few thoughts about how to resolve this, but they’ll depend on how I approach the Altnet. It’s possible I’ll be able to bring forth some of the Act 2 action. This might spice things up between the detective work, worldbuilding, and heavy dialogue.

What I don’t think will work is action inside the Altnet. It would carry no real weight, for much the same reason that VRMMO series often lack gravity. Especially as I’d need to either contrive silly game events that would detract from the feel of the series (hell no) or come up with nonsensical reasons the Archangels aren’t literally god inside the Altnet. This isn’t South Park. People don’t get to be so strong that the admins and mods can’t just blam them, especially when the Archangels have access to their nervous system.

There probably won’t be other rear-loaded action, if you catch my drift. Meta’s scene will be both vanilla and… really weird. Helena’s will be lovey-dovey if I include it in this book, but I have an out to skip it (her instability in her interface).

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Commentary: Hopefully this was insightful. I’m going over the chapters already written and working out what I’ll change, although I’m still pretty happy with the overall plot and direction. I think the issue is mostly execution and feeling too pressed for time to rewrite stuff that I think wasn’t working.

If you have any overall thoughts on the chapters so far, I’d really appreciate them. Right now, my overall thoughts are to adjust the morgue scene so that it can lead directly into the Altnet rather than Asgard. There might be some extra breadcrumbs and adjustments made to tie the mystery elements back to the larger case, as I think it’s easy to miss the forest for the trees and get confused why Nick is doing stuff (but this was an issue in Book 2, tbh).

So yeah, let me know if you have any thoughts or question. Or forever keep your peace.