Neural Wraith 2 - Ch1-3
Added 2022-12-03 13:00:07 +0000 UTCDaily updates (or close enough) start today. Th
Comments
This is a solid start, with an almost "hit the ground running" feel considering how the series has been pacing. The murder mystery, tied in with the obvious display of civil unrest shows how much tension the book will potentially bring.
Mation Amalga
2022-12-11 21:08:45 +0000 UTCHe's the victim. As commented above, it's a typo and I've fixed it in the final version (and I'll edit it here as it might be causing confusion).
K.D. Robertson
2022-12-06 14:08:32 +0000 UTCIs Julian Garlowne the murder suspect or murder victim?
AndrewM
2022-12-06 13:40:42 +0000 UTCI felt like the way it's written, it feels like he's musing aloud to himself, but doesn't register that he's speaking loud enough for anyone to hear or notice.
Just Add Water
2022-12-06 07:07:35 +0000 UTCA really strong start. Although I was confused by Meta's comment about the underwear. It seemed like Nick was "talking" to the reader, so I was confused why she responded.
Thomas
2022-12-04 17:33:31 +0000 UTCAnother corp just Righteously Taking Money then, gotcha. I'd like to see this be a long series, as I really liked the first book and look forward to this one. A slice of life-ish detective series also lets you run kinda wild in regards to the plot of each episode. Your muse can run free and wild in the backyard. The setup also allows you to take Nick almost anywhere in the world, as he could be regarded as a doll integration expert or something and Neo Westphalia loans him out for favors/influence/whatever.
Joe S.
2022-12-04 07:52:02 +0000 UTCThanks for the reminder on acronyms. RTM doesn't actually stand for anything. It's intended to be an example of a company whose name is just an acronym. I'll likely bring it up at some point.
K.D. Robertson
2022-12-04 06:32:07 +0000 UTCMight want to use central business district before using CBD, especially given the number of acronyms right off the bat. Did it in ch1 of NW1 and might help some people. Also don't think we were ever told what RTM stood for (short search couldn't find it), doesn't really matter but could be used to expand on the lore a bit about them and maybe Sigma as well.
Joe S.
2022-12-04 03:30:57 +0000 UTCI like the world building elements mentioned with the pending major doll purchase, notapples ongoing legal battle, the anti corporate vandalism. Elements of background tension help give the world a "on the brink" feel
Paul Matson
2022-12-04 00:46:48 +0000 UTCAwesome, as expected. Only edit I noticed is in chapter three where you refer to the victim as the “murder suspect”. Based on everything at the time, Waite didn’t have a suspect, just a victim at this point in the story. Also I liked the interaction with the judicial mainframes, I hope you don’t change that for the future chapters….This series has moved to my overall second place, thanks for the early chapters.
Jeff Ford
2022-12-03 17:09:38 +0000 UTC
