Neural Wraith 2 - Planning

This was a post I hadn’t intended to make, as I felt I had a pretty clear idea of where the story would go and I’m trying to get as much down while on holiday. But I’m currently very tired after a bit of a horror day yesterday and not keen on crowds of domestic tourists in Kyoto on a public holiday, so have some spare time.

Parts of this post will refer to the recent Unseen Banking short story for reasons that will be abundantly clear if you’ve read it, or will otherwise be explained soon. You don’t actually need to read it if you haven’t.

Unseen Banking

The nature of Neural Wraith makes it very easy to come up with short-ish stories, or more episode events. The problem is that I kind of suck at short stories. I’m always developing the world, or adding stuff, or making things really long and verbose.

In my mind, I had the idea I could do some fun little stories, similar to what Jim Butcher did in Dresden Files, that are nice to read but not vital to the series (although he became worse about this later in the series).

Unseen Banking was my first crack at it, with the intention to do a case that hinted at the malevolent influence of the Spires and megacorps in the false utopia of Babylon. I wanted to cover some topics that I wasn’t sure I could really include a book: namely finance (and fintech) and the courts. I’m still wary of the latter, but the nature of the series means I’ll be pissing people off no matter what I write, I suspect. Tumultuous times etc.

Unfortunately, the short story fell prey to my usual problems. The basic premise required more time and words than I had available. Scenes needed to be cut, because I don’t really like doing really short “telling” scenes. Stuff like the cyborg barista, or a meeting with Paul were intended. If the ending feels rushed, that’s because it is.

At the same time, I ended up introducing a lot of major elements that I’d need to reintroduce in the next book. While GWT and Tiferet can arguably be ignored, it would be hard to refer to them in a book if they’re from a short story many people haven’t read. But having Nick’s first meeting with the court mainframes outside the books seems like a mistake. Especially if I commit and make them important to the overall plot.

I had somebody flat out tell me I should include this as an extended prologue in the next book. Even while writing it I was left wondering if I should be converting it into the book.

And, honestly, that’s kind of where I’m going right now. The story’s ending hinted at events that would be dealt with in book 2, but it could easily be incorporated entirely.

The Original Plan

The downside is that I already have a plan for Book 2, and it plays into the accelerationism and the planned trilogy.

There’s been an increasing push within the genre (arguably by authors more than readers imo) to have shorter series. I have my opinions about the real reason for this that I won’t go into, but Neural Wraith was originally planned as a trilogy because I didn’t think it would do very well. Some people theorized it would be an episodic series, but the downside there is that it would never have an appropriate conclusion. I’m not necessarily committed to making the series super short, especially as I don’t necessarily have the commercial constraints as other authors appear to.

Originally, the three book plan was a simple: establish, accelerate, crash sequence, in terms of the tension in the city. Thematically, Book 1 focused on automation, Book 2 on the Altnet, and Book 3 on the politics. Saying more would be spoilers, but I feel it was a very good plan and if I write the next 2 books according to it, people would be very happy.

But I have a chance to extend it and have some fun doing so.

One of the big caveats of that trilogy plan was that it didn’t allow much room to really explore all the characters and facets of the city. Book 2 would have needed to split attention between introducing Ezekiel, Helena (in earnest), and a new Altnet-centric character. All focus on the corrupt politics of the Spires would also need to be done on the backburner, in much the same way that it was sort of slid into the investigation late into Book 1.

A New Plan

As said before, I’m going to expand the short story into a full book. This will include taking the elements from Book 2 the followed on from it, as well as spacing out the events of the short story to make for a more natural Act 1 (I probably shouldn’t sideline everyone buy Chloe, for instance).

The Altnet-centric elements will get pushed back to Book 3 in favor of a case that focuses properly on a proper Spires conspiracy. This will better establish how parts of the city work for book readers before I delve into the Altnet. I unfortunately will need to push back some of the long-planned elements about Altnet self-employment and virtual escapism but I already have some ideas for how I can create an even better Book 3 that focuses entirely on the theme of the transfer of consciousness (of which the Altnet is part of).

This means the books will become episodic, with the caveat that I will be needling at the city’s tension. The idea is that I want the series in a position that I can realistically write the “explode” final book when necessary. No grand apocalyptic trilogy, as much as a single book that should leave the series in a good ending state (with the potential to continue it later).

Anyway, let’s talk a little about the elements I do want to include, some of which I touched on in the short story.

Ezekiel and the Prototypes

The book needs to introduce Ezekiel. What I’m less certain of is her role. She came out different than I planned in my initial chapters of Book 2 (the original version), and I might need to force her personality a little as the series needs some more personality dynamics.

Ideally, Ezekiel is more aggressive toward Nick than the rest of the Archangels. Each of the prototypes is supposed to be a little different, even though Kushiel changed a lot.

In theory, Kushiel is the commando, Rie is intelligence, and Ezekiel is the officer. In practice, Kushiel is more like the Heavy and ignores everyone, Rie is trying very hard to steal the role of the officer, and Ezekiel has come in to find that the Host doesn’t really match any of her training data (especially with the changes Nick has created with dolls such as Meta and Chloe).

This is also supposed to play into the Archangels’ view of humanity and their goals. Much of the commentary I wanted them to make regarding this was tied into the Altnet theme, so I’ll need to work out what is said during this book on it. I suspect I will tie it more into structure and control, to go with the corruption and political theme. I.e. what right do the Archangels have to determine humanity’s future, versus the Spires or human themselves etc, and if they can’t sort their own shit out, why will they be better?

The Liberator Procurement

I like there to be background events that churn along in my books, and this is one of them. The procurement of a replacement to the Liberators, and the contest between Sigma and RTM over developing that replacement, is intended to pop up in multiple key events.

Timeframe-wise, it can’t be wrapped up for a while due to RTM’s development schedule. But things should still happen that hint as to what’s going on. This also means I’ll modify when the banking event happens.

Helena

As most people know, she’s the cover girl of this book. That was initially because this was the Altnet book and it would be a nice hint about how she’s Nick’s gateway into it.

My thinking now is that it ties into the way mainframes effectively govern life in Babylon. I’ll have Nick properly establish Helena in the police department in the book and give her an interface, which means she’ll end up with an immense amount of power in the city. And while Nick has some control over her, she’s notably temperamental.

Given this is technically a harem book, I do need to think about Helena’s romance with Nick. That’s actually quite hard, as she’s significantly less human than the Archangels. I don’t want to flanderize her into a sexy robot mainframe that wants the D like happens in so much sci-fi, as her attachment to Nick isn’t intended to be seen as healthy.

In Book 1, I painted Rie’s obsession with Nick as that of somebody searching for an escape from her life in a cage. She lived in a world of fantasy and saw Nick’s inability to have it, in much the same way she couldn’t touch reality, as fascinating. The Archangels like Nick because he’s an anomaly to them, and they’re actively trying to become more human-like by mimicking some of his traits.

Helena’s background is similar, but significantly darker. Both her and the Paladins appear to are more for Nick than the rest of the Tartarus. Chloe offhandedly mentioned that the Paladins likely rely on Nick because they know he can provide certainty. Given Helena and the Paladins have been shunted between companies and suffered significant memory wipes, Nick is the only consistent thing in their lives.

Finance

I made a bunch of banking jokes and the like in the short story. It’s hard to know how well some of these landed, tbh.

Part of it is that banking is such a different experience between countries. Whenever I hear how banking in the US works, I wonder how your banks survived (the answer is probably politically inconvenient to admit).

Stuff like cashapp, venmo and shit only really took off in Australia due to the cultural infiltration of the US. Hell, paying with your phone was pretty unpopular until the pandemic because we’ve had payWave (or tap to pay, or visa touch, or whatever you call it) in Australia for yonks.

What is weird about everything money-related is the strange dichotomy of it.

On the one hand, there’s a lot of convenience built-in because people just want to be able to spend money. If people find it difficult to give you money, they probably won’t. This is why Apple’s policy (and now Google’s) of effectively banning all attempts to circumvent their 30% cut is so effective: unless you’re literally as big as Amazon, people will probably shrug and download an app that will pay the 30% cut. And if you increase your prices to compensate, they’ll go to the app that didn’t increase prices.

Similarly, most people don’t like thinking about their money. While Nick hasn’t been well off, he’s also not exactly frugal. I’m modeling him after a lot of people I’ve worked with. Brilliant software engineers and consultants who “just don’t have the head for money” (bonus points if they’re doing something related to gigantic amounts of money in their current project). Single folks on six-figures who are constantly broke. These people see their bank accounts and their brains melt. They just want to buy the things they need and move on with life.

So you have this side of finance that is focus on minimizing friction and ensuring that people who hate dealing with money can spend all the money they want, as easily as possible. Open your Afterpay account within a few minutes, instantly assessed for credit, get spending etc.

In Australia, I can open bank accounts, share accounts etc within a couple of minutes. A decade ago, this took weeks due to all the forms that needed signing and shit and mailing shit in.

But the dichotomy comes in when you look at all the weird ways to “maximize your spending power” or whatever the buzzword is.

Credit cards are apparently evil now, and Buy Now Pay Later is in. Every mall in Australia is plastered with the logos of a half-dozen BNPL companies. You can get virtual cards of BNPL. Some of these schemes hide real stingers, such as a particular BNPL scheme in Australia that provides loans for multi-year diplomas that don’t pay of the loan by the end of the loan (i.e. a huge balloon payment with massive backdated interest if it’s not paid). There are rewards schemes, cashbacks, weird points hacks to get flights. Crypto had a ton of crazy crap that came crashing down this year and will probably come roaring back eventually. Even loans come in all sorts of flavors.

If you’ve ever paid attention to finance or money, none of this is surprising. You potentially think this is a good thing. But there’s a reason nobody liked the moneychangers in history.

I probably won’t expand too much on this from the book, but I might polish off some of the edges in the short story. Tiferet will likely show up again, too.

SPAAAAAAAACE

When I wrote the planning post for Book 1, I said I wanted the series to be grounded.

Then I included energy weapons, and miniaturized flying jetpacks, and portable railguns, and space yachts. I think some people disagreed. I still think it felt grounded, but I get it.

To me, the idea of grounded is less “is this realistic” (I mean, we’re talking about a setting full of gynoids) and more “does this feel like a futuristic version of today, rather than outright scifi”. Something like Mass Effect or Star Trek can never be grounded, because it’s too fancy. By contrast, Blade Runner feels very grounded (at least, it is these days) even though it has spaceships and flying cars. Grunge helps, but even something like Detroit: Beyond Human is very grounded even when showing its cleanest scenes. Same goes for Deus Ex: Human revolution.

Anyway, it’s a matter of perspective. But I know the space elevator bothered a few people.

Space elevators are the nuclear fusion of space travel. The technology to create them is always 30 years away, but the physical reality is that we haven’t found anything strong enough to hold up to the forces involved. The reason why all the money is in reusable rockets is because that’s what works.

But space elevators are cool, and I wanted a setting that’s cleaner. Cyberpunk tends to make space travel a pipe dream to hammer in the hopelessness of the setting, but I have different plans in mind.

To me, something as fantastically complex and expensive as a space elevator is a great opportunity to highlight both some of the geopolitical elements (only a little, and mostly in the context of Babylon’s elite and its relation to the world) and how the megacorps view the world. Space isn’t the final frontier, so much as it’s a commodity and vacation site for the rich. There is escape, but not for you.

And, yes, I’m bringing this up for a reason. You’ll find out. The way the space elevators work geopolitically is something I determined during Book 1, but wasn’t sure if I’d be able to include them.

Not Too Much Politics

While this book will have a case that deals with politics, I don’t really intend for this to become like my other series that get absolutely enmeshed in it. Nick isn’t becoming a politician.

But this book is a good chance to build out some of the dynamics that were only hinted at before. How does Babylon deal with the rest of Neo Westphalia? What about the rest of the world? If it’s a corporate state, are they citizens or employees? Stuff like that.

The short story involved Nick commenting on how automation was coming (and had come) for the jobs of some of the elites who had felt themselves immune, or at least part of their apparatus. That is in large part what I want to explore.

Part of that is the courts, with state-of-the-art mainframes that are becoming a little too intelligent and egotistical, but that remain AIs with hardcoded objectives rather than brains in jars.

The military is another element. I’ve actually done a little bit of research on this part, and probably need to do more. Neural Wraith takes place in a future where warfare has been almost completely automated. Soldiers don’t even fight through monitors and controllers like they do with drones – they’re basically all office workers.

And if the soldiers aren’t actually fighting, but are managing the war, isn’t that also automatable? A mainframe might be better at logistics, or allocating dolls to potential conflict zones. With the advent of the Archangels, they’re probably better at ordering each other around, too. Although, as mentioned, the militaries of the world have problems with soldiers that think too hard and the Archangels do nothing but think. I plan to keep the military as a bastion of manual labor, and to explore some of the philosophy behind that, but also to juxtapose that against another highly militarized outfit elsewhere in the book that is 99.9% automated.

As for the Assembly, I’m not sure I want to touch on it much. We’ll see.

Nick’s Upgrades

Quite a few people asked for or expected Nick to get some sort of upgrade. Some AR glasses or a cybernetic implant.

On the one hand, I already know how I plan to introduce the AR glasses. There’s also going to be a requirement for Nick to have the ability to do a proper deep dive into the Altnet in Book 3 (which was going to be this book).

On the other hand, I want Nick to be intentionally stubborn about this. He is very much cemented in this reality, rather than the augmented one that humanity is shifting to. While his position will enable him to begin to play in the Altnet, he’s going to be faced with the firm decision to choose, rather than constantly have copouts.

Book 3 is where this will come to a head. For now, there will probably be some development and Nick being stubborn about it. Part of my job is to try to translate Nick’s dislike of the situation.

I will say that I find it deeply ironic that I expect so much of the audience to be frustrated by Nick’s refusal to “jack in” when you can’t scroll a social media feed without seeing a take about how nobody will ever use a metaverse (opinions on FB notwithstanding). Nick is the futuristic equivalent of that guy who doesn’t have a smartphone and doesn’t watch TV that everybody smirks at each other about behind his back.

Of course, that’s also part of his charm to the Archangels. Somebody offhandedly mentioned to me that he should just use them to take over the city a week or two ago. And while he could, the only reason he’s in that position is because he won’t. It’s a moral catch-22. If he was your average harem protag, he wouldn’t be the protag of this story.

Also, Nick’s going to develop some personal issues with cybernetics due to their use by mercs. He’s not exactly at peace with the heavy firefights he’s been in.

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Commentary: Anyway, this is my unplanned planning update. I’m hoping to get through Book 2 fairly quickly and see where I’m at, as I’m building off a story I’ve already started. The early stages tend to be the worst of a book after all. It’s difficult to say if I’ll commit to Books 2 and 3 together, given how that went last time.

Let me know your thoughts or any ideas or questions.