Cat Core 3, Chapter 16.

Chapter 16.

“This is for the lovely Beatrice and her merry band of heroes,” Patricio said, before strumming his mandolin with gusto and belting out some horrible-sounding tune. Why couldn’t people like good old-fashioned music without all that caterwauling?

“I agree with your earlier assessment, Florence, let’s get our deposit back and find someplace else,” Doug said, his tiger ears folding over in a futile attempt to block out the sound.

“Hey, I kind of like it, at least let me get dessert and hear how the song ends before we go,” Fizz said. There was no accounting for taste, and gnomes must just like horrible music, like those kids driving by with their stereos booming and rattling the whole neighborhood.

Florence tried to tune out the song, thankful that being a core shard meant that she shouldn’t suffer any permanent hearing damage from all that nonsense. The few patrons in the place didn’t seem to mind Patricio’s song one bit, in fact, as the annoying man started into his second tune, many were tapping their feet to the music for some inexplicable reason. By the third song, the man had finally hit his stride and Florence, while not exactly enjoying the tune, wasn’t quite so upset by it.

“Oh, no, this is worse than I thought,” Doug said.

“What? What’s wrong?” Florence replied, looking around to make sure there weren’t nobody trying to sneak up on them.

“It’s that Patricio Leon, you realize what he is don’t you?” Doug asked.

“No, what?” Florence replied, starting to get annoyed. She really hated movies and stuff where people kept asking another character questions when they could just come out and say whatever it was that they were planning to say without all the back and forth.

“He’s a bard,” Doug said with a deadpan voice.

“No, not that,” Fizz muttered.

“I don’t remember much, but I know I didn’t care for bards in my dungeon,” George said.

“Oh man, I thought his music was starting to sound not so horrible, it must be whatever bard magic he was stuffing inside it. What’s the big deal, Doug, nobody likes bards, but they’re not as bad as a paladin or a necromancer,” Florence said. She had a firm grasp on class types thanks to her time playing Dungeon Delve back on Earth. Bards were usually kind of a useless class in most games, but this world was real, and they might serve some purpose.

“It’s bad because they are typically unsufferable, just look at how annoyed you were after just a few minutes of interaction with him. I mean, you’re typically annoyed with everyone, but this guy didn’t take as long as normal to ‘get in your craw’ as you are wont to say.

“I never say that, and yeah, Patricio is annoying, just like a certain feline companion I’m looking at right now. What’s the problem, though, it’s not like we’re going to invite him to join us on our quest,” Florence said. She got to pick and choose her party, and all of them had some connection to her or her home, unlike Patricio.

“While I’ll agree that he’s not going to join us, we will in all likelihood need his services. The one things are bards are good for other than playing mediocre, magically enhanced music to entertain the dull-witted, is lore. Don’t look now, but I think he’s already on his way over,” Doug said.

“I hope you enjoyed my performance, did it move you to tears, to joy, to yearning?” Patricio said.

“Get over yourself buster, the only thing I’m yearning for is for you to leave me alone,” Florence replied.

“Then my music has done its job, it has caused you to feel, even if that feeling is the loathing of my humble performance, I take it as a win, and shall retire victorious in this skirmish,” Patricio said, turning to walk away, which was fine with Florence.

“Hold up, sir, perhaps you can help us with a few questions?” George asked. Florence shot the hairy man a glare, but George wisely avoided her gaze.

“Perhaps I can assist, what is it you’re interested in? I’m well versed in many subjects,” Patricio said.

“We’re interested in the dungeon, what can you tell us about it?” George asked.

“Well, my large and hairy friend, that is more easily explained by the adventurer’s guild, in fact, I believe they offer a basic guide for a nominal charge, much less than I would normally require in remuneration for my expertise,” Patricio replied.

“What if we weren’t interested in dealing with that there guild? What if we wanted a chance to take a gander at the place without joining their stupid club?” Florence asked.

“Way to go, Florence, subtle,” Doug said sarcastically.

“Your companion seems to have something in his throat, perhaps a drink of water for the lovely feline?” Patricio said, scooting his chair back from Doug a bit, as the companion’s words sounded out as low growls to everyone outside of Florence’s group.

“Hush up, Doug, so, Patricio, can you help us or not, and what’s it going to cost me?” Florence asked.

“My dear Beatrice, I would provide you anything you desire for just the pleasure of your company, but, alas, I have fallen on hard times, as has this town, I’m sorry to say. I’d be glad to give you fifteen minutes of my time, answering all that I can, for a mere ten gold, quite a bargain, I might add,” Patricio offered.

“You’ll take five, and give me ten minutes, that should be enough,” Florence countered, passing over five gold coins from her purse. Patricio somehow made them disappear without her noticing, reminding Florence that these here bards could be slippery folks, just a step above a rogue as far as trustworthiness.

“For you, I will accept, now, what do you wish to know?” Patricio said, leaning in conspiratorially.

“Give us the rundown of the dungeon layout, beasts, traps, and the like. Also, what are the odds of getting in and out without the guild noticing us?” George asked, taking the lead. Normally, Florence would want to take charge, but she was more than happy to not have to deal with Patricio.

“The dungeon has been around for several years, and typically sees a lot of activity. There are five levels, the first isn’t too challenging, simple cave-dwelling beasts, frost troggs, wolves, and the like. By the time you reach the final level, you’ll run into the dungeon champion, a hulking yeti with the unlikely moniker of Bosco. I can assure you it’s not a cuddly happy beastie like the name would suggest. Short of a large, well-equipped and experienced party, I wouldn’t think of trying to face him. My own delves never left the third level, where an ice elemental is the champion,” Patricio said. He then made a show of trying to clear his throat, unwilling to continue until Florence bought him a mug of ale.

“What about access to the dungeon?” Fizz said, jumping into the conversation.

“It’s controlled by the guild, of course, and they have around a dozen runs scheduled each day. Typically, they stop in the evenings, to keep from overrunning the dungeon’s ability to reset itself. I should mention that things aren’t functioning like normal, and the place has been closed for the last few days,” Patricio said.

“Closed? Let me guess, some kind of odd behavior from the dungeon?” George asked.

“Exactly, you’ve heard the rumors. No, well I shall happily recount the events of the last couple of weeks. Many say the dungeon core is going mad, and the creatures inside are acting strangely. At times, they are overly aggressive, the whole level’s defenders charging to attack as soon as a party enters, but other times, the place is devoid of defenders with only the champions waiting inside. I haven’t heard of such things ever happening before, and, if you’ll pardon my lack of humility, I hear just about everything that goes on in this town,” Patricio said.

“We’ve seen this before, no, don’t ask. What’s it going to take to slip my group inside without anyone knowing?” Florence asked, trying to get this conversation over with. She did kind of believe that Patricio was the type of guy to have shady connections to get things done.

“It wouldn’t be without risk, the dungeon is guarded at all times, but I happen to know a few of the more morally flexible members of the guard, who might take a small payment to look the other way for a bit. Pay them enough and they’ll just happen to take a break when you return from the dungeon,” Patricio said.

“How much?” Florence asked. Funds were limited, and after the room deposit, she was down to 120 gold and a few coppers they had snagged from the broke hillbillies.

“Including my finders fee, I can make it happen for a hundred. Normally, it wouldn’t be so costly, but adventurers are desperate to get back inside and earn a living so the increased demand has spiked my costs,” Patricio said.

“I could do maybe fifty if you can assure me that we’ll get in and out without any trouble,” Florence said.

“Alas, I cannot do it for fifty, a hundred is truly the least that I can accomplish the task for. I understand if it is beyond your means, trust me, I’ve fallen on hard times myself. There might be others with a less than savory reputation that will get you in for a lower amount, but they will more than likely slit your throat and take your loot as soon as you leave,” Patricio said.

“Do we waste time, or pay the man?’ Doug asked.

“Patricio, give us a minute,” Florence said, waving the man away from their table. The bard took his leave, plopping down at the bar and ordering another drink on Florence’s tab before she could object.

“Time is of the essence, and on the one hand, we need to deal with this dungeon and move on to the next one, but funds are going to keep being a problem, we don’t exactly have marketable job skills to earn a quick buck on this world. To top things off, these dungeons don’t seem to be giving out rewards and stuff to us like they would a normal party. What if the next dungeon is on the other side of the planet and we have to buy an expensive teleportation scroll?” George said, voicing the same concerns Florence had.

“Since we don’t have a lot of time, and a hundred gold isn’t going to buy a teleportation scroll to the next place, even if we somehow deal with this core without spending any coin, I say we pay the man,” Doug offered.

“I think you’re right Doug. Fizz, George, any objections or suggestions?” Florence asked, unsure if she was doing the right thing or just getting them ripped off.

“No objections, but I do have one suggestion, one you’re not going to like,” George said.

“What?” Florence asked.

“I think we need to stipulate that Patricio joins us for the delve, that way, we know he’s not just ripping us off or setting us up for a robbery when we leave. He may not want to agree to those terms, a dungeon is a dangerous place after all, but something tells me this guy is hard up for coin,” George said. That was the last thing she wanted, but Florence couldn’t find a flaw in George’s plan.

“Durn it, I hate to say it, but you’re probably right. Let’s get him back over and see if he’ll agree,” Florence said. For looking like such a hairy, musclebound lug, George was turning out to be pretty mentally sharp now that the confusion of turning into a core fragment was wearing off.

“You have agreed to my terms, I take it. Don’t worry, you’ve made the right choice,” Patricio said as he returned to their table.

“Hold up, buster, we’ve got a few stipulations. I don’t know you, and what I do know isn’t exactly filling me with feelings of trust, so here’s the deal. You’ll get your hundred gold to get us safely in and out, in addition, you’ll be accompanying us on this delve,” Florence said.

“You’d have me join you? Really? I’d be honored, I’ll even take a half share of the loot for a chance to get back into adventuring,” Patricio said. That wasn’t exactly the reaction she was expecting, Florence was sure he’d protest due to the danger that the dungeon represented.

“Wait, why are you so happy to risk your life?” George asked, mirroring Florence’s incredulity.

“Well, it’s a bit embarrassing, but due to circumstances beyond my control, and with a healthy dose of libel against my person, I’ve been banned from the guild. Once, I was rolling in coin, my bardic powers allowing me onto any delve I wished to join. Now, I’m forced to scrape by, performing as a simple, yet highly talented, entertainer. I do have some stipulations, I’m an experienced dungeoneer, so your party will need to listen to me. We’ll delve into the first level and see how you do. That one is fairly easy, and I think I can handle it on my own with only minimal support. You all stay back and let me handle the difficulty foes, and I’ll give you pointers to help you out,” Patricio said. Florence eventually got him to stop talking for long enough to get a word in.

“Woah, we’re not some noobs that need our hands held. We’ve got tasks to accomplish in there, and while we might need your help, we can handle ourselves just fine. We’ve got skills and abilities that might surprise you,” Florence said.

“Very well, it’s your coin, after all. If I feel you are unreasonably endangering me, I do reserve the right to quit the agreement and leave the dungeon, but otherwise, it’s your show, Beatrice,” Patricio agreed.

“Good, but there are other stipulations. Whatever you see us do inside the dungeon can’t be blabbed around town. Can I trust you to be discrete? I know you’re a bard and all, but it’s a matter of life and death, and I’d rather not die because some bard decided to tell my story when he shouldn’t have,” Florence said.

“My dear Beatrice, I would never endanger you. Count your secrets as secure as if they were sealed in a royal vault. On my honor as a member of the bardic arts, I vow to serve you without deceit, and bind myself and my cause to yours until such a time as you release me from my oath,” Patricio said, making a real show of it, which made Florence trust him less than ever, at least until the system that guided this world seemed to take him at his word.

The bard known as Patricio Leon has offered to bind himself willingly to your core shard. This would be a binding of limited duration, breakable whenever you wish to release him from his service. While bound, Patricio agrees to not reveal your, and your companion’s identity and powers. He will also seek to serve your cause to the best of his ability. In return, once you have agreed to dismiss him from your services, Patricio Leon will receive exclusive rights to your personal story, to be immortalized in whatever medium of entertainment that Patricio deems fit. Do you agree to these terms? Y/N.

“Wait, what exactly is happening?” Patricio said, confused as the system sent him a copy of the deal.

“You’re hired, and now I know for sure you’ll not cause any problems,” Florence said with a smile as she agreed to the terms and bound Patricio to their party.

“He may have some restrictions placed on him, Florence, but you can rest assured that a bard will always find some way to cause problems, it’s what bards do,” Doug said.

“Did your cat just talk, and wait, your name is actually Florence Valentine, not Beatrice Hamilton? I think I’ll need a minute,” Patricio said as the seriousness of their agreement, along with the true nature of who he was now bound to, hit Patricio.