190 – Ayaka Tōjō’s Resolve⑦ - Part 2

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Early afternoon at the hospital.

The faint scent of bandages and medicinal patches lingers in the air as I walk quickly down the corridor.

When I reach the room I’m looking for, I stop in front of the door and take a deep breath to steady myself.

Gently placing a hand over my chest to calm my racing heartbeat, I slowly step into the hospital room.

“Oh, Kiyoko-san.”

As I approach the bed and speak, Kiyoko looks at me with a slightly surprised expression.

“Oh, Ayaka! You came to visit me?”

“Um, yes.”

“My, thank you so much.”

“No, not at all. How are you feeling?”

As I move closer to her bedside, she answers with a bright smile.

“I’m doing very well. Thank you for worrying about me.”

Then she gestures kindly toward the chair beside her bed. “Please, have a seat.”

I bow politely and sit down, studying her expression.

Her complexion looks good, and her mood is bright.

It seems her recovery is going smoothly.

“Have you started rehabilitation already?”

“Just a little today. I tried walking two or three steps this morning.”

She says cheerfully, then tilts her head slightly.

“Is Haruto…?”

“Oh, Haruto went fishing with my dad.”

“My, I see.”

Kiyoko nods gently, exuding her usual soft and kind aura.

“My father was so excited about being able to go fishing with Haruto.”

“Oh my, I’m sure Haruto’s happy too. I don’t think he’s ever gone fishing before.”

“Dad said, ‘We’ll have a feast for dinner tonight!’ I just hope he isn’t exhausting Haruto too much.”

Dad really adores Haruto, so sometimes he gets carried away and overwhelms him.

Kiyoko chuckles softly. “It’s all right. That boy enjoys that kind of thing. I’m sure they’re having fun together.”

As expected of Kiyoko—she really knows everything about Haruto.

I find myself staring at her, the woman who raised him.

“Is something the matter?”

She notices my gaze and smiles gently.

“Um… I wanted to ask you something.”

“Yes, what is it?”

“Well…”

Feeling my heartbeat thump louder, I clench my fists tightly and speak.

“What do you think… it means to love someone?”

My voice trembles slightly between nervousness and curiosity as I wait for her answer.

“Love, you say?”

She repeats the word slowly, then, without any sign of discomfort at the sudden topic, begins to speak softly.

“I’m from an older generation, you see. Back then, we didn’t really use the word ‘love’ much. Saying ‘I love you’ is something people started doing more recently.”

“What!? Really?”

“Yes. Of course, the word existed, but people didn’t say it directly to the person they cared for.”

I… I didn’t know that.

Nowadays, the phrase “I love you” is everywhere—in manga, dramas, songs…

So this is what they call a generation gap, huh?

“Then, how did people express their feelings back then? Wouldn’t that make confessions kind of difficult?”

“Well, in those days, marriages from romance were rare. Arranged meetings were common.”

“Oh, I see…”

“But even then, people still conveyed their feelings properly.”

“How did they do that?”

Could you really express love without saying “I love you”?

“For example,” she says thoughtfully, “a man might say, ‘I’ll come home early today,’ or ‘Your miso soup is always delicious.’”

“Eh? That means ‘I love you’?”

“Yes.”

What!? Love used to be that hard to interpret!?

If it were me, I’d be worried the message didn’t get across at all!

While I’m processing that, Kiyoko laughs softly.

“Men back then were supposed to be quiet and dignified. But even though the words and manner changed, some things haven’t changed at all.”

“What kind of things?”

“The feeling of caring for someone.”

She says this with a beautiful smile.

“When you’re alone, you think of that person. Even when you’re apart, you still feel them close.”

I’m captivated by her words.

They carry the weight of a lifetime—words from someone who has truly lived and loved.

“Ayaka, to me, loving someone means sharing your heart.”

“Sharing… your heart?”

“Yes. When you love someone, you divide your one and only heart and give a part of it to them. And in return, you receive a piece of their heart. You fit that piece into the part of yours that you gave away.”

To give part of your heart… and take a part of theirs in return…

So, does that mean fitting Haruto’s heart into mine?

I listen intently so I don’t miss a single word.

“The piece you receive isn’t originally yours, so it feels strange at first. There are gaps, bumps—it doesn’t fit perfectly. But that’s true for both people. Over time, as you cherish that shared heart, the gaps disappear. The edges smooth out. And eventually, it becomes one seamless whole, as if it was always that way. That, I believe, is what it means to love someone.”

When she finishes, Kiyoko smiles serenely, meeting my eyes.

In that moment, I gasp.

Bathed in the sunlight streaming into the hospital room, her smile is clear and boundless—like the calm surface of a vast sea.

“The person I entrusted my heart to is no longer in this world. When he passed away, the piece of my heart within him must have gone too. It was as if part of me died. But the part of his heart within me still lives.”

Kiyoko gently places a hand on her chest.

“His heart lives on with mine. That’s why I can keep living—watching over Haruto with a whole heart, together with him.”

Her words sink deeply into my chest.

Amazing…

So this is… what it means to love someone…

The feelings of someone who loved one person for a lifetime.

I’m overwhelmed by her presence, her words, the air around her.

And at the same time, I feel… scared.

Because “to love” feels so much deeper than just “to like.”

It’s filled with resolve, with courage.

Can someone like me really do that?

I only recently started to even understand what romance is… I’m still just a high school girl.

Love is passionate, yet warm and gentle—it holds so many emotions in a single word.

Do I truly love Haruto?

Is it okay to call what I feel now “love”?

That question echoes again and again inside me.

Kiyoko gives a small, apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry. That was such a heavy story.”

“N-no! It was very meaningful! It’s just… I started to wonder if I can truly love Haruto… ah!”

I blurted it out!

I said it—I said I was worried about loving Haruto!

I start flailing in panic.

“Uh, I mean! What I meant was… that I want to love Haruto, um…”

I wanted to organize my thoughts before saying that! Ugh, I’m such an idiot!

But now that I’ve said this much… I have to say it.

That I want to marry Haruto.

But… after hearing Kiyoko’s words, am I really ready?

While I’m hesitating, she begins to speak calmly.

“Ayaka, Haruto told me. When I collapsed, you stayed by his side the whole time, supporting him.”

“Ah… yes.”

“To stay by someone’s side and support them is not easy. The fact that you did shows great strength.”

“Th-thank you…”

Her praise makes my body feel hot, my cheeks flushed with both joy and embarrassment.

“When I woke up and Haruto came to visit, I was surprised—his expression had changed.”

“His expression?”

“Yes. Before, whenever something happened to me, he always looked lost, like a child without direction—so tense, like a balloon ready to burst. But this time was different. He said, ‘It’s okay now,’ smiling so naturally.”

Kiyoko smiles as she recalls it.

“He’s grown strong. And that strength came from you, Ayaka. Your feelings and your actions changed him.”

Then she looks at me warmly.

“You’ll be fine, Ayaka.”

Her words still my anxious heart completely.

That’s right… when she collapsed, and Haruto was so anxious he couldn’t sleep, I made a decision.

His pain, his fears—I would share them all.

The hardships, we’d divide in half.

The happiness, we’d multiply together.

That’s the kind of life I want to live with Haruto.

Kiyoko said that when two hearts come together, at first there’s discomfort.

And Mom told me too: face your differences and build your ideal bond.

It’s okay if I can’t love him perfectly from the start.

It’s okay if it’s not perfect.

I’ll take my time getting to know Haruto more deeply—

and someday, I’ll be able to love him like Mom and Kiyoko do.

It’s true that I still feel uncertain—

but I won’t waver anymore.

I love Haruto. I want to love him.

I clench my fists and look straight at her.

“Kiyoko.”

“Yes?”

“I love Haruto. I want to love him.”

“Yes.”

“I want to walk through life with him. I want to marry him!”

I said it!

But I don’t regret it. My resolve is firm now.

After hearing me, Kiyoko closes her eyes for a moment in silence.

Then she opens them slowly and sits up straight in bed, folding her legs beneath her.

“When you first became Haruto’s girlfriend, I told myself not to say this. I didn’t want my words to bind your life.

But it seems my worries were unnecessary.”

She bows deeply, still sitting formally.

“Please, take good care of Haruto from now on, for a long, long time.”

Startled, I quickly sit up straight on the chair and bow back.

“N-no, it’s me who should be saying that! I may be inexperienced, but please take care of me too!”

For nearly a minute, we keep bowing to each other before lifting our heads and laughing together.

“Um, Kiyoko.”

“Yes?”

“I love Haruto, but I also want to love you as family.”

“Oh my, how sweet of you.”

“I want you to stay healthy and live a long life!”

When I say that, she smiles adorably.

“Fufu, you know, Haruto once said something similar—he told me to become immortal.”

“I feel the same! I still want you to teach me lots of cooking, and I want to knit together again too!”

I speak all my feelings to her directly.

“So please, stay healthy forever, Grandma!”