New Erotica: Wanting Pt. 1

Leila checked her ad on Tryst. She knew how to advertise herself, but the issue was not her work so much as the market. There was only a sprinkling of viable daddies at any given time, and sometimes she felt as if she’d gone through every single one. She checked her messages, filtering through a number of “hey babe” deadends; a few from men too elderly for a long term arrangement; and a few from men who seemed to be fishing for a drawn out conversation, rather than an actual meeting. She shut her laptop. There was no good whoring to be done this evening.

Suddenly, she felt her pocket vibrate. She grabbed her phone to see who had messaged her. There were two messages, she realized. One from an unknown number, and another from Miranda.

Miranda: Expect a message from “Nasir” (xxx)xxx-xxxx. He’s one of my regs. If you don’t have time, could you point him in the direction of someone else you trust? x

(xxx)xxx-xxxx: Hey, it’s Nasir, Miranda’s friend. Hopefully she prepped you beforehand lol. Is this Leila?

Leila trusted Miranda to only send her number to trustworthy clients. She and Leila had gotten into camming together seven years ago when they shared a flat and were low on money. They’d pooled the money they’d made working shitty retail jobs to buy a proper internet connection and invested in a camera they could share. The two young women performed together, hoping to capitalize the girl-on-girl market. The hours were grueling and for the first several months the pay was minimal, but they would console themselves with a post-work glass of boxed wine over a tray of oven-baked french fries. Miranda was like her sister, who she also occasionally fucked for money in front of an audience of strange men who at times felt threatened by their sizable strap-on, yet other times got off to the humiliation. The two had never made incredible money, but at the time it had felt like big money. There were some nights they finished with $600 each. One night they managed to scrape $1,000 and decided to celebrate by reserving a table at a rooftop restaurant they’d stared at enviously for semesters, wanting to try one of their $20 cocktails. Finally they had made it. They wore their most expensive dresses and pretended to have always been rich. They ordered a champagne bucket, only to have their private celebration crashed by two men who intercepted their check and sent over a second bottle of champagne. Leila and Miranda had wanted to enjoy the satisfaction of paying their own way, but in the end, weren’t entirely unhappy to be able to keep the thousand and enjoy their fancy celebration somewhat free of charge. Free aside from the occasional glances and waves they did their best to ignore as the men jockeyed for their attention from across the restaurant.

Miranda had moved abroad post university to attend grad school in Spain. Leila stayed in LA and continued on in the sex industry, eventually dipping her toe into escorting. The difference between online and digital work was night and day. Of course she had developed an intimacy between herself and her clients, but it wasn’t the same as being close enough to smell them. It wasn’t the same as walking into their undecorated apartments, greeted by smells and textures a shared masturbatory Skype session had not prepared her for. It wasn’t something she did all the time, but it was something she offered to the right prospective client. Leila trusted Miranda’s taste. If she vouched for Nasir, he was probably at least inoffensive and trustworthy, and had a budget that could accommodate her rates.

Leila: Yeah, she just messaged me lol. Nice to meet you, Nasir. Are you on Signal?

Nasir: Yes, I am! Is that better for you?

Leila: Lovely. Yes, let’s switch.

Leila began typing to Nasir on Signal. She knew that encrypted service was faulty and not always adequate protection, but she didn’t want to discuss sex work via iMessages. Before she could send her message, Nasir replied.

Nasir: Can I call you?

He’s lucky I have makeup on. Leila thought to herself. She paused for a moment  to check her reflection in the mirror before responding. She tucked a braid behind her ear and rubbed the smudged mascara from under her eyes. Good enough.

Leila: Sure. Video or voice?

Nasir: Video, if that’s okay with you?

Instead of texting her answer, Leila called him. She set her phone on the kitchen table in front of her and waited for him to pick up. It took a few rings for him to answer. She imagined he was scrambling to check his appearance too. She liked keeping clients on their feet. Leila was all about power moves. She didn’t know what to expect, other than a man. He could be tall or short, fat or skinny, old or young, she hadn’t gotten the chance to ask for any pictures or personal details prior to the call. If he was too unpalatable, she would ghost him afterwards and leave a harsh voice message for Miranda.

Finally, the call connected. The video revealed a man who was surprisingly handsome. He looked to be about forty, maybe younger, with dark wavy hair he wore in a long braid that draped over one shoulder. His eyes were almond shaped with little crow's feet that curved them into a little upward smile. For a moment, Leila didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t one to get embarrassed, especially by a man paying her for sex. But Nasir was very much her type. From his long lashes to the faint floral print on his silky white button down shirt. Leila felt herself blushing. She cursed herself internally, hoping it wasn’t apparent. She was here to do business, and she would not allow a pretty man to get in the way.

“Hi Nasir, nice to put a face to a name. How are you?” Leila led, casually.

“Nice to meet you too, Leila! Thank you for responding so quickly. I’m doing better now, seeing you.” Nasir grinned broadly, little dimples creasing his cheeks.

Leila couldn’t help but wonder why he was looking to buy a night with her. He looked like the kind of man who didn’t need to purchase sex. Of course, she knew people purchase sex for a litany of reasons: power, freedom from judgment, secret kinks, size or functionality issues, choice, or any number of other things. Even she had purchased sex, and it wasn’t because she couldn’t get laid.

“Well, I’m glad to hear that. Do you have anything in particular that you’re looking for?” Leila inquired, business like.

“I’d like a long-term arrangement where I see you once or twice per month, if that’s possible. And, of course, I’d like to eventually,” he dropped his voice bashfully, “have sex, once you’re comfortable with me.”

Leila smirked. He knew she was an escort and yet he was baby stepping around the obvious.

“Is that okay with you?” Nasir asked.

“Yeah, that’s perfectly fine.” Leila replied briskly.

“Do you have, like a list of prices for things?” Nasir asked shyly.

Leila listed her prices, trying to gauge whether or not the numbers evoked a reaction or not. She thought she saw him blink with a little extra emphasis when she declared her full service rate, but she wasn’t sure. Perhaps it was a video glitch.

“What do you think?” Leila asked, with a bit of challenge in her voice.

“That’s fine. When are you free next?” Nasir responded immediately.

Leila was surprised he hadn’t balked or questioned her above-market numbers. Well, it was what she deserved. Why should he question it?

“I’m free tonight, and then after tonight I won’t be available until next Wednesday.” Leila replied as she checked her calendar.

“Well, if tonight isn’t too little notice, I’d love to have you over tonight.” Nasir gazed at Leila with smouldering eyes.

Leila hadn’t expected to work that night, but she didn’t have any other plans. She needed to shower and shave, but that wouldn’t take too long.

“What part of town do you live in?” Leila asked.

“I’m in Silverlake. Is that far from you?”

“Not at all. It’s like twenty, thirty minutes tops. What time were you thinking?”

“Eight? Nine? Whatever works for you.” Nasir replied.

“Okay, let’s say nine, just to be on the safe side. Will you be paying cash? I also accept Zelle and Cashapp.”

“I’m going to make a bank run now. I prefer using cash.”

“Super. Okay, I’ll let you get to it. Text me your address when you get a chance.”

Leila hung up and paused for a moment, staring into her phone. It had all come together so fast that she’d forgotten to ask him why he was seeing her in the first place. She wondered if he had a micropenis or wanted to worship her feet. Regardless, she would soon find out.

***

At eight-thirty Leila finished showering. She stood in front of her closet, searching for something to wear. She felt she should choose something practical and warm. It was a chilly January evening, and layers seemed appropriate, yet she also wanted to show some skin. She had a black jersey dress with an open back that called to her, but she didn’t want to appear overly formal for their first meeting. Instead she decided upon a silk shirt with a deep v to contrast the white silk shirt Nasir had worn in their earlier meeting. Leila gathered her purse that contained condoms, lubricant, and a few toys she could play with if she decided she wanted to, and made her way to her car.

Nine o’clock exactly, she pulled up in front of a salmon-pink terracotta building. She hadn’t asked him if it was an apartment, duplex, or some other living situation. She just hoped he didn’t have a roommate. She walked up briskly, immediately shivering in the desert cold. She knocked and waited, hoping none of his neighbors would spot her and try to strike up a conversation. Nasir answered the door. He was taller than she’d expected. There was always that moment meeting a digital acquaintance in person where all of the details come together.

“Come in!” Nasir said, his voice booming as he ushered her inside. “I hope it wasn’t too difficult finding the place.”

Leila walked in hurriedly. She was not a creature of the cold. Thankfully, his home was warm. She spotted a fire crackling in the living room. She immediately made a beeline to the fireplace and sat on the floor beside the fire, warming her hands.

“No, it was really straightforward.” She replied as she allowed the warmth to travel into her shivering body.

“Can I get you anything?” Nasir asked.

“Do you have tea?” Leila asked, pessimistic he would have anything other than something bland like Lipton, but she was desperate.

“Yes! Let me make you something.”

Nasir dipped away into the kitchen. Leila heard an electric kettle beep and shortly after, Nasir returned with two mugs in hand.

“It seemed like a good idea, so I decided to join you!”

Nasir handed Leila a cup and took a seat on the ground beside her.

“Nice to meet you, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you.” Leila replied, accidentally parroting Nasir’s cadence.

“I know we kinda put this together in a hurry,” Nasir remarked, pausing. He massaged his chin thoughtfully as he considered his words. “Do you have any questions for me?”

“Well, kinda,” Leila also paused. She wasn’t quite sure how to frame her question in a way that didn’t seem judgmental.

“Just go for it. I’m an open book.” Nasir said, as if reading her mind.

“How did you get into this? I mean, you’re a good looking guy. I can’t imagine you need to pay for sex.” Leila spoke in a cascading jumble, as her eyebrows pursed in confusion. “I mean, do you have, like a very specific fetish or something I need to know about?”

“I don’t have any fetishes that I know of, but who’s to say I won’t discover one down the line,” Nasir replied chuckling goodnaturedly, “And thanks for the uh, backhanded compliment, I guess? I just don’t have time to date right now. It takes a lot to be emotionally available, and paying for it seems a lot simpler at this juncture, if that makes sense.”

Leila realized she hadn’t tried her tea. She had wanted it primarily to hold something hot, but she noticed a sweet almost candylike scent wafting up from her mug. She took a sip, and paused. It tasted like a rootbeer or some kind of sweet soda, but without any sugar.

“Do you like it? It’s a special sassafras tea I get from Russia.” Nasir explained.

“Oh! Yeah it’s delicious.”

Leila cradled the cup in her hands and savored her sips. Nasir’s home was cozy, with a slew of plants occupying every nook and cranny, on top of bookshelves, and in the center of his coffee table. She realized sitar music was playing in the background, which solidified her sense that she was really not properly paying attention. She was flustered as much by the cold as by her company. It’s important to maintain the upper hand with clients regardless of their money or influence, and especially when it comes to the good looking ones.

“Do you mind if I have something to drink? Like, drink drink.” Nasir asked suddenly, as he twirled the end of his braid nervously, “You’re just prettier than I expected, and I’m a little on edge.”

Leila blushed to a vibrant shade of crimson.

“Can I have one too?” Leila threw in, grateful he wasn’t all about sobriety.

“Any requests?” He asked, standing. The scent of coconut wafted up as he stood.

“Anything I can take as a shot.” Leila replied, winking.

Nasir smirked, “You got it, boss.”