Chapter 260: Mostly me

To call the place Goddess has arranged as a hideout for me, Kaitlynn, and Suri ‘unexpected,’ would be a bit of an understatement.

I mean, I’d heard of Trisha’s Traveling Teahouse before, but a catering establishment on the back of a massive aquamarine snail does not exactly scream discretion or subtlety.

The reality is, however, that the Realm of Imagination’s foremost teahouse lends itself to such things extremely well.

The secret behind the mobility of the rickety, multiple-story wooden shack with its always merrily smoking chimney, is of course Trisha herself.

While at first glance, the massive aquamarine snail appears to be a single entity, she’s actually a swarm-type Ascendant who made her way to the Realm of Imagination long ago. Long before Akir, at least.

That large aquamarine bulk actually consists of many snails with separate Cores, connected into a hive mind.

Kinda like the ball of worms I fought in the Tournament of Ascension, but with far better manners. And delicious cookies.

While the majority of her drones are occupied with lugging the always-moving luncheonette around, there are still plenty left to take on a humanoid shape and tend to the bar, brew tea, bake, clean, and constantly offer her patrons more tea, biscuits, scones with jelly and a cream made of nuts, and all kinds of other tasty goodies.

Not to mention the drones back on her ranch, where she grows her tea and the produce all of those fully Extant foods are made of.

The point is, she’s got eyes on stalks everywhere, and there’s absolutely no way for anyone to snoop around on the upper floors of her teahouse unnoticed.

And, frankly, despite how delicious her baked goods are, she doesn’t actually have that many patrons. At first I’d figured we’d just arrived during a slow period, but while people come and go, the total number doesn’t seem to change that much. I’m guessing it has something to do with her seemingly random pattern of movement, but I’m not entirely convinced yet.

Because her lemon squares are to die for.

Either way, her top-notch surveillance and relatively sparse clientele are both great for us, because the last thing we want is for the Peilor to find out we’ve returned.

One thing that’s bothered me for some time now—and Goddess as well, apparently—is that we don’t know how Starmother found out about my departure.

On the one hand, the fact that I was leaving wasn’t exactly a well-kept secret, considering the crowd of people in attendance, but still... none of those people should have said anything about it to a Peilor.

Unfortunately, not even Goddess can keep an eye on the whole Realm, and she hasn’t been able to figure out if and how the Peilor are keeping tabs on the goings-on here.

It could be that there are Peilor going around spying on people, it could be that they’re using conjurations like my chameleons to keep an eye out, or perhaps they have some other, unknown method that we’ve simply never considered.

I even asked Suri about it, but she doesn’t know either, which I don’t find too surprising. She only got to be on the Council of Stars for like a few weeks, after all, and I doubt anyone on the Solith tier of Peilor society would be clued in regarding anything remotely sensitive.

At the very least, I sincerely doubt any Peilor could have learned how to tune in, considering the limited amount of time they’re allowed to Visit this Realm per Starmother’s agreement with Goddess.

The bottom line is, we just don’t know what kind of information lines Starmother has, and therefore we have no choice but to lay low.

Which, apparently, is best done in a traveling teahouse. Who’d have thunk?

Of course, it’s not quite as suitable to serve as a hideout for all of our party. Especially for Kirri, who simply needs way more space to move around in. And while the presence of the beings we picked up along the way shouldn’t set off any alarms, Kirri is unfortunately quite well-known, as a lot of people helped build her body.

And let’s face it, there aren’t that many sentient flying boats around, even here.

Therefore, she, Koko, and Kaitlynn’s cuties, are all being accommodated in a different location, one that’s just as secure.

The place in question is a kind of spatial pocket world, known as Herman’s Haven.

As the name suggests, it was made by and belongs to Herman, who is actually another Ascendant in the shape of a deathly pale hermit crab with a pitch-black conch shell.

Apparently, he originally grew to become Apex in a strange Realm where space was very pliable, and full of spatial bubbles. It’s like putty in his hands. Or well, claws.

He’s one of the beings in this Realm that will occasionally volunteer to try and rehabilitate a newly arrived Ascendant. Which is the official reason that Herman’s Haven—a beloved seaside resort with its very own secluded bay, that can often be found in or around the sea—is currently off-limits.

As for why we aren’t just all living in that pocket dimension, well, hiding out in Trisha’s Traveling Teahouse has certain perks that Herman’s Haven lacks.

And I’m not just talking about the lemon squares.

No, perhaps the best thing about our hideout, is that it’ll be very easy for Akir and Raindrop to visit without drawing any suspicion.

I honestly can’t wait to introduce them to Kaitlynn, but first they have to actually show up.

Of course, an advantage of more strategic importance is that it’ll be relatively easy for Goddess to covertly convene her war council here.

That’s actually the main thing we’re waiting for, and while I understand that Goddess has to be very circumspect about arranging something like this, it’s still kinda frustrating to be tucked away here with little to do in the meantime.

When we just got here, Kaitlynn and I spent quite a while questioning Suri about stuff regarding Peilinor, and she’s been pretty cooperative, but there’s only so many questions we can come up with without a concrete plan for our next move.

So for now we’re just languishing in our accommodations, which consist of a couple of private rooms on the upper floor of the slowly moving teahouse. The constantly changing view would probably be very nice, if we didn’t have the soft green curtains consistently drawn and the cheerily painted shutters permanently closed.

I’m already kind of sick of the four walls closing in on me with their slightly peeling off-white wallpaper, and rather than being soothing, the soft ticking of the cuckoo clock seems to be mocking me, telling me we’re running out of time.

Kaitlynn shows remarkable patience as I pace across the old-pink carpet that doesn’t quite match the orange-brown upholstery of the worn sofa or the eclectic collection of reclining chairs.

She looks up when I come to a sudden halt, my face lighting up.

“What is it?” she asks.

I beam at her. “We’ve got a visitor!”

The curtains may be drawn, and the shutters may be shut, but those are naturally no impediment to my senses. While most of my attention is still on Suri in the other room, I still have attention to spare for our surroundings. And there’s no way I would have missed the familiar figure who just entered my range.

Kaitlynn beams back at me. “Ooh, who is it?”

“Well, you’ll see in a minute, won’t you?”

A split second later, my finely tuned senses come in handy once more, allowing me to just barely duck the throw pillow she flings at me.

My senses don’t help me in withstanding Kaitlynn’s pout and playful nagging, but I persevere regardless.

Soon enough, the door opens with a click. The smell of hot tea and freshly baked goods immediately come wafting in, but I pay them no mind as one of Trisha’s drones ushers Akir inside.

He’s got a cup of tea in one purple tentacle, and a biscuit in another, but both seem forgotten when he catches sight of me.

Thankfully, he still has plenty of tentacles left to hug me with.

“Let me take a look at you,” he grunts after a moment, before pulling away, and roving over me with worried eyes, still holding my shoulders.

As he takes me in, I do the same to him. My brows rise a little as I finally get a somewhat accurate measure of his strength. Around 14.000 motes, eh? Not too shabby!

It stings some primal, garish part of me that he’s still quite a bit stronger than I am, but I quickly suppress that. Frankly, it just makes sense.

“Hmm,” he grunts. “You’ve changed. But you’re still Emma.”

I smile wryly at him. “Yeah, I’d say I’m still mostly me.”

He nods seriously. “Good.”

“Awww, were you worried?”

His eye-slits narrow. “About my stuff, yes. Did you bring it all back in one piece? My trident? My tools? My compass?”

My smile falters. “Actually, about that... you might wanna sit down. I’ve got a bit of a story to tell you. But first... Akir, meet Kaitlynn.”

Kaitlynn waves at him, hovering next to me, looking slightly awkward, but also pleased.

Akir’s eyes crinkle into a smile as he lets go of me and takes her in. “Nice to meet you, girl,” he says, sounding much friendlier than he ever does to me.

Tch. Typical.

Akir sits on the couch next to me as Kaitlynn and I tell our story from start to finish. I find it hard to look at him as I speak about the Moral Compass and Mirta.

It doesn’t help my nerves that he doesn’t immediately react.

I try to stay silent after finishing, to give him some time to process, but I ultimately don’t last too long.

“Are you mad?” I ask quietly.

He frowns, finally turning to look at me. “What for?”

“For making you miss out on... you know... seeing her one last time?”

He shakes his head. “Nah. Like she said, it wouldn’t have been the Mirta I said goodbye to. And I did that a long time ago. You don’t need to worry about me, Emma; I’m just glad she was able to help you make it back here.” He narrows his eyes at me. “If anything, I’m mad at you for letting it get that far. Do my warnings mean nothing to you?!”

I smile at the familiar ribbing, feeling like a weight has lifted off me.

The door clicks open again, and Trisha comes in, carrying a teapot and a platter of magnificent lemon squares. “More tea?” she asks, the eye stalks on top of her slick aquamarine head wobbling in a jolly fashion.

Kaitlynn and I each hold out our cups for a refill, and Akir—after a brief hesitation—does the same.

Does he not like tea? Huh.

As Trisha pours Akir’s refill, she lets out a sigh. “You know, I think it’s wonderful that Mirta was able to help miss Emma like that. I doubt she could have foreseen a better end for that little toy she made than that.”

I blink up at her in surprise.

Trisha’s toothless mouth curls up in a smile. “Sorry. I couldn’t help but overhear...”

“That’s all right,” I reply, familiar with the feeling. “Were you close?”

Trisha nods. “She was a dear friend of mine. The nut cream I put on my scones is actually her recipe.”

“Trisha’s one of the few beings who’s been around as long as Mirta,” Akir grunts. “This teahouse is actually where they taught me table manners.”

“Now that was a challenge,” Trisha laughs, before falling quiet again for a moment. “I’ve thought about it too, you know. Fading back into the Realm. I guess I just feel like my lemon squares still have room for improvement. Speaking of...”

She hopefully holds the platter out to us.

“Don’t mind if I do,” I state casually, like I haven’t been salivating from the moment they entered the room.

“I really can’t imagine how they could be improved upon,” Kaitlynn praises as she grabs one as well, before quickly turning pale. “But don’t listen to me! I’m sure they’re still imperfect somehow; you’d know better than me!”

Nice save, Kait.

Thankfully, Trisha just laughs, holding the tray out for Akir a while longer, until he resolutely shakes his head. “All right, I shan’t bother you any longer,” she says as she bustles out of the room. “Holler if you need anything!”

He won’t even take a lemon square? What is going on here?!

As the door clicks shut behind her, I narrow my eyes at Akir suspiciously. “You know, Trisha’s supply of Extant baked goods seems almost endless... Back when we were worried I was going to Fade from a lack of Espir, why didn’t you just take me here?”

“I guess you haven’t seen her ranch yet,” Akir grunts. “Her production capacity is actually pretty small. She doesn’t have that many customers, and most aren’t willing to accept too much from her.”

His words give me a bad feeling in my stomach, and I exchange an alarmed glance with Kaitlynn.

“They’re not... willing?” she repeats. “Why is that, exactly?”

“It’s because of...” he trails off for a moment as a shudder seems to pass through him. “Because of the price she levies.”

Damnit. I knew this place was too good to be true...

Author's notes:

Sorry about the cliff, I know this one is particularly evil. ;)

Just think about how much more satisfying the reveal will be come Friday. ^^