XaiJu
LunaWolve
LunaWolve

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[TAS] Arc 1 - Chapter 142 - Awards VI

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Hello everyone, LunaWolve here!

Epilogue 8 - Awards I has just released on RR with only the Title being changed from Chapter 137 to Epilogue 8.

For the Wolf Lords, this chapter has seen no changes.

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Two things:

First and foremost, we got a new Cover for TAS!

Finally getting rid of the AI-slop that has been hanging over us like a dark cloud and replacing it with a nicely painted digital rendition of our favourite girl, Thea!

You will find it changed on here and on RR as well, with a full-size version of the picture available in the Discord's Announcement and #TAS-Fan-Art channels.

Secondly:

We got about 3-4 more chapters in this final mini-arc, before we start with Volume 2 (yes, it will be called Volume, not Arc, because the publishers I will want to work with would kill me otherwise).

That's all. Enjoy the chapter!

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I'm looking forward to hearing your first impressions and opinions on this chapter. \o/

I hope you will enjoy it!

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-------------------- End of Pre-Chapter Author Note (Patreon-only) ------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Here is the link to the chapter:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1diPTyM6X18vzG4Jg8zcyXcXUma-4wVqewO2-YBdTh24/edit?usp=sharing

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Arc 1 - Chapter 142 - Awards VI

Thea’s breath caught as Karania noticed her staring, turning to her with a raised eyebrow and an amused glint in her eye. “Everything alright, Thea? Do I have something on my face or…?”

“Yes,” Thea blurted out reflexively, only to furrow her brow and quickly backtrack. “No. Well… actually… Maybe…?” She felt heat rise to her cheeks, realising she was fumbling badly. 

Taking a steadying breath, she tried again. “Maybe to the first one, and no to the second.”

Karania’s eyes lit up with a light chuckle as she turned her body fully to face Thea, making it easier for them to talk. 

“Aaaalright then. Maybe and No it is. Anything I can help with on that first part? Still worried about your placements?” she asked with a small, playful smirk. “Or maybe you’re worried about mine, what with that Emperor’s Touch Award passing by and me not being called up yet…?”

Thea’s heart clenched as she noticed Karania’s grin slowly fade away when their eyes locked. 

The determined look on Thea’s face must have spoken volumes because Karania’s playful expression hardened into a neutral mask, her natural composure returning like an iron gate being drawn. 

The initial lightheartedness of their conversation evaporated as Karania’s eyes bore into Thea’s, seeking answers in the silence that followed. The unspoken question between them was palpable: What’s really going on here?

“I… I just wanted you to know that I’m here. Like… if you want to talk,” Thea stammered, her voice somehow still steadier than she felt. Corvus’s advice echoed in her mind, but it felt thoroughly foreign on her tongue. 

She clenched her cybernetic hand, trying to stave off the tremor that the coiling anxiety in her chest was radiating through her, each beat of her heart a reminder of how vulnerable she felt in moments like these. 

The warm, sticky sensation of sweat gathered in the hand still entwined with Kara’s, but the more she tried to ignore it, the more aware of it she became.

She would have much rather been entrenched in a hopeless firefight than have this conversation, right here, right now; that much Thea was certain of.

Karania’s gaze softened, her eyes holding Thea’s for a moment longer than expected, searching for something beneath the nervous exterior. A small, understanding smile curved Karania’s lips, but something was slightly off on it, that Thea couldn’t quite put her finger on.

All she knew was that it wasn’t Karania’s usual, cheeky smile.

“I know. I brought you here, remember?” Karania said, her voice quiet but certain. 

She lifted their clasped hands, letting Thea feel the subtle squeeze as if to remind her, That’s why we’re doing this.

Thea swallowed, a knot forming in her throat as she tried to recall Corvus’s words: “Listen first. Make them feel heard. Don’t push too hard.” 

It was easier said than done when sitting across from Karania, who had far more experience with this whole social-interaction business than her, easily able to deflect conversations with an ease that she envied. But this time, Thea needed to somehow keep control of the conversation, even if it felt like trying to catch smoke.

“Yeah, you did,” Thea began, her voice wavering before she forced herself to push through. “And I’m… I mean, I’m really grateful. For your help, I mean. I wasn’t really myself back then, and… I just, um…” She swallowed, her mouth feeling dry. “I wanted to say that, you know, if you ever need to… like… talk or anything…”

Karania’s response was quick, fluid, like a breeze sweeping past. “Sure, if you’re that bored.” 

She shrugged lightly, tilting her head as if assessing Thea’s level of interest. “Though, you know, the Forward Leadership Award is going on up there right now; probably Corvus’. Figured you’d be more interested in that than whatever else we could talk about.” 

Karania waited for a moment, leaving enough space for Thea to interject to say that she did, in-fact, want to see if Corvus would win anything. 

But when she didn’t, she continued, her tone casual, but her words very precise, leading the conversation right back to Thea. “But you do seem very stressed out, I’ll give you that. So, anything on your mind, then? What’s weighing you down today? That thing earlier, where you kind of lost it for a bit…?”

Thea blinked, momentarily swept up in the way Karania turned the question on her. 

The temptation to talk about the strange emotional spikes she’d been experiencing lately welled up. It would be so easy to just tell her; to maybe even get some answers from her genius friend on what might be happening to Thea… but then she caught herself, suddenly realising she was about to take the bait.

No! She’s doing it again. This is… she’s deflecting,’ Thea reminded herself, though her confidence wavered.

“Oh, it’s… it’s not really about me,” she mumbled, glancing down, feeling herself sink further under Karania’s gaze. Corvus’ words rang in her ears, reminding her not to push too hard. It was all about listening, he had said. “I mean, I just wanted to… to talk, like… if you wanted. We don’t have to, of course… I just thought if you needed…”

Karania’s eyes softened, and she leaned in, her smile warm. “Thea, you’re too sweet, honestly. If there’s something you need to talk about, I’m right here. We can figure it out together; whatever is on your mind.”

Thea opened her mouth, her throat tight as if her words were caught in a snare. 

Karania’s expression was so calm, so controlled, that it made Thea’s own struggle feel even messier. She wanted to insist, to directly ask what was really going on with Karania, but every time she thought of doing so, Corvus’ advice echoed in her mind, stopping her dead in her tracks.

A helpless thought flitted through her mind: ‘I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I’m even saying the right things to begin with…’ 

The buzz of the ceremony around them seemed to grow louder as another round of cheers and applause rang out for the Gold-medal winner, the sounds only further seeming to amplify her own inadequacy, making the quiet between her and Karania feel somehow both close and distant, as if separated by an invisible wall she couldn’t break through.

I don’t even know if even Corvus could handle this,’ she thought, disheartened. ‘So how could someone like me…?

Unable to bear the weight of Karania’s gaze any longer, Thea’s eyes drifted back to the podium, hoping to gather her thoughts, even as her mind raced. She needed a moment to breathe, to somehow find a way forward through this mire of uncertainty.

Corvus said to be subtle… to just let her know I’m here. But Kara’s deflecting—hard—even I can tell that much,’ she thought, wrestling with herself. ‘Do I push a little harder, ask something more direct, like he mentioned about… pointing out that I noticed she’s not herself right now? Or is that too much if she’s already deflecting…?

The dynamics felt almost impossible to unravel. 

She wished desperately that she could run back to Corvus for more guidance, for a precise step-by-step outline of what to say and how. But at the same time, a stubborn part of her resisted that urge. 

It wasn’t just pure pride either—though that was certainly in the mix. 

It was that competitive streak in her, the one that always pushed against her anxiety and social ineptitude. Thea wanted—needed—to do this on her own, to prove that she could be a real friend to Karania, the way Karania had been for her countless times.

Thea knew there was a debt of sorts piling up between them, an unspoken weight of gratitude that she had yet to even begin to repay. If she couldn’t even be there for Kara when she needed it—one of the exceedingly few times she actually seemed vulnerable—then what sort of friend was she even? She wanted to be more than just a mimic, parroting Corvus’s words back to Kara. 

She wanted to be there for Karania in a way that felt genuine, that came from her. While yes, she was going to try and use Corvus’ prior advice, in her own words; she would not go as far as to ask for a full play-by-play rundown to use.

No… I can’t ask Corvus this time. Not for this conversation. I’ll go to him after, maybe, to learn… but not now,’ she resolved, feeling a small flame of determination push back against the wall of her anxiety.

Her hand, still linked with Karania’s, felt clammy and tense. But even as nerves clawed at her, she took a breath, holding on to that flicker of courage. 

She would find the right words somehow.

Major Quinn’s voice filled the hall, announcing the winner of the Platinum-medal for the Forward Leadership Award—a Marine named Kas Locke, leader of Adage Squad. 

Part of Thea felt she should look over to Corvus, see how he felt about the award, maybe even ask if he thought he had a shot at one of the higher placements. 

But she could barely even process Major Quinn’s words; her thoughts kept spiralling around Karania and Corvus’ earlier advice.

Everyone’s different… understand first,’ she repeated to herself, clinging to the phrase like a lifeline. What did she actually know about Karania? She was a perfectionist, a genius, practically infallible in everything she did. 

But that was mostly a mask. 

She had seen Karania’s other side as well, a more natural, less perfect version. 

If someone that purposefully, outwardly polished was suddenly off, wasn’t it her job as a friend to gently point it out? Karania was bound to want to fix her mask if it had a crack, at the very least. That’s what a good friend would do, right?

Thea felt that the logic tracked. It reminded her that it seemed similar to those moments in the GalacticNet games where her own online-friends had needed to shake her out of stubborn tactics. 

Longtime gaming buddies had been able to tell her she was messing up, and she’d listened. 

Randoms who tried it? She’d crushed them for daring to tell her how to play. 

But with friends, though, it had always been different. She’d never really minded them telling her what she was doing wrong. 

They had a pass to say what others couldn’t.

Is that what friendship really is…? Being able to say what you’d usually block someone, or fully commit to a dive for, despite it being a bad tactical play…?

Taking a steadying breath, Thea turned back to Karania and tugged at her arm, catching her attention just as Major Quinn’s voice introduced the next award. She barely registered that it was the Ace Squad Award, recognising the biggest uphill victory of a squad in the Assessment. 

Even as her squad buzzed excitedly in her peripheral vision, her focus remained locked on Karania.

“Kara, listen,” she started, surprised at the force in her own voice. 

Even Karania blinked, the surprise flashing in her eyes as she turned her full attention to Thea—mission success, somehow.

“I… I can tell you’re not yourself, okay?” she continued, her words clumsy, but resolute. “The way you said you were fine… you don’t… you don’t repeat yourself like that, not normally. We’ve been around each other for, like, a month or so—I can tell. If you don’t want to talk, that’s okay. But… stop deflecting. Even I can tell you’re doing it; that should tell you something, no? And I mean we’re friends. I… I just wanted you to know that I know, and I’m here… If you want to talk, I mean. I won’t push you, because… Well… Honestly, mostly because Corvus said I shouldn’t. I don’t know why pushing people on something like this is a bad idea, but I trust him. So… ehh, yeah. Just… I’m here, okay? I’m not going anywhere, so… Whenever you feel like it. I’m even fine with just sitting and being quiet; but… Be honest with me, okay…?”

By the end, her voice wavered, and her hand tightened around Karania’s, the last of her words unsteady as anxiety spiked. 

But she held Karania’s gaze, feeling her heart pound in her chest.

There was no backing down now.

Karania studied Thea in silence, her expression unreadable, though her eyes held an intensity that made Thea’s pulse race. It was as though Karania was carefully measuring each word Thea had just said, weighing them for something she couldn’t quite see. 

Thea fidgeted, struggling against the instinct to fill the silence with something—anything—but before she could falter further, Karania’s lips curled into a faint smile.

“You know, I’m genuinely surprised,” Karania said softly. “You’ve grown so fast—faster than I could have ever expected. But I’m not sure how I feel about Corvus being such a bad influence on you. Clearly, he’ll need a lesson on staying out of people’s business,” she teased dangerously, her voice light and playful.

Thea opened her mouth, ready to jump to Corvus’s defence, words already spilling to explain that she had been the one who’d asked for his help. 

But Karania only shook her head, waving it off with a soft chuckle.

“Relax, Thea. I was only joking,” Karania reassured her, squeezing Thea’s hand gently. But then her expression shifted ever so slightly, the playfulness melting into something deeper. 

“Honestly… sometimes I can’t help feeling envious of you.”

‘Envious?’ Thea’s mind stumbled at the word. ‘Envious of me?’ 

It made no sense to her. 

Karania was the steady one, the genius, always in control. The one that never made a mistake and always knew exactly what to do in any given situation, without fail.

What could someone like Karania possibly envy in her?

Karania sighed, and for just a moment, her carefully maintained mask cracked, revealing a flash of the grief and anger Thea had glimpsed earlier. 

The rawness in her friend’s face was almost startling, and Thea’s chest tightened at the sight. But just as quickly, Karania reassembled her mask, smoothing her expression back into the ever-present neutrality that everyone knew her for.

“I owe you an apology,” Karania said, her voice quieter, more serious. “You’re right. I have been deflecting you on purpose, Thea. I used the fact that social stuff doesn’t come naturally to you to keep you at arm’s length… And that’s frankly not acceptable. Forgive me for this, please. You might not want to believe this, but I’m not exactly… good with emotions and conversations, either. Not the ones I can’t fully control, at least.”

Thea opened her mouth, struggling to understand, but Karania pressed on, her tone firm but gentle. “I promise, I’ll talk to you about it all, just… not right now. This isn’t really the place for it, and, well, it’s honestly still too fresh.”

Thea nodded slowly, feeling an odd mix of relief and disappointment—both in herself for failing to keep up with Karania’s words once again, and also that she wasn’t going to get any closure on this for the foreseeable future.

“But for now…” Karania’s gaze flickered to the rest of Alpha Squad, who were engaged in an animated discussion about the Ace Squad Award, debating their own chances with gleeful energy. 

“Why don’t we go join in? I don’t think they’d mind having your opinion thrown in there too,” she said, nodding toward the group. Her lips curled into a small smile as she added, “I think they’d welcome it, actually. A lot of the Squad’s greatest accomplishments were directly under your command, after all.”

Thea let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding, feeling the tension ease just a bit. 

“Yeah, let’s,” she replied, squeezing Karania’s hand once before releasing it. 

As they turned toward the rest of the squad, Thea couldn’t shake the thought of Karania’s unexpected vulnerability. It made her wonder just how many other hidden cracks might lie beneath her friend’s otherwise flawless exterior. 

An impenetrable barrier was one thing, but an impenetrable barrier with even a single crack? 

That was an illusion waiting to shatter. 

And if there was one crack, it stood to reason there could be many more, concealed just out of sight, merely requiring a different situation or perspective to find.

The thought lingered in Thea’s mind, gnawing at her as she shifted her attention back to the lively scene unfolding in front of her.

The heated exchange between Isabella and Desmond filled the air, their voices tinged with competitive banter.

“We will definitely get one of the Assessment Awards. Nobody else fucked up a duo of Psykers,” Isabella declared confidently, arms crossed as if daring anyone to argue.

Desmond scoffed and rolled his eyes dramatically. “Nobody else that we know of, you lumbering meat-sack! We have no idea what the other squads were up to while we were getting our asses handed to us by those freaks. They could have killed an Ace for all we know!”

A toothy grin spread across Isabella’s face. “I remember only one of us getting ‘our asses handed to us,’ Mister Two-Resolve. The rest of us handled it just fine, including their guards. And that was without our Drone Specialist because he was napping on the top floor, last I checked.”

Desmond leaned forward, animated and defiant. “You should be thankful I sacrificed myself to give you all intel on the Psyker Freaks’ capabilities, you meathead! If I hadn’t gone down, you would’ve been next. Karania barely jumped in to stop you from doing whatever reckless shit you were doing at their command that would have easily gotten the entire squad wiped out! So, you’re very welcome for taking the hit first and saving your idiot hide!”

The banter drew a chuckle from Lucas, who was watching the scene unfold with a relaxed smile. Even Corvus seemed amused, a subtle, approving glint in his eyes as he watched his squad engage in their playful argument. 

Karania shot Thea a knowing glance, her eyes subtly saying, “See? Everything’s normal.” 

Thea exhaled, a small smile tugging at her lips as she took comfort in the momentary calm, surrounded by her squad and their lively chatter.

The next few dozen minutes passed in a blur as Major Quinn moved through the ceremony, introducing one medal after another and honouring the three Ace Squads aboard the Sovereign

It wasn’t a surprise to Alpha Squad that their name wasn’t called—not here, not yet. 

They were certain they’d be featured in the Recruit Awards, especially after their victory over the Psykers. Even Corvus, who usually maintained a more realistic, downright pessimistic, view on their chances, admitted as much, though he still held doubts about being called up for the Forward Leadership Award himself.

Corvus had been practical, detailing how the award’s criteria focused on direct and lasting battlefield impacts resulting from strategic decisions made by the squad leader. 

Throughout most of the assessment, he hadn’t been in a position to make such calls, given the chaos of their infiltration mission and his unexpected involvement with the Caliburn in the industrial sector of Nova Tertius. 

Yet, the rest of Alpha Squad had no doubt he had done his job admirably. 

His sacrifice, in particular, had led to significant gains for the entire squad, with Thea being alive at the control station resulting in drawing in the duo of Psykers and ultimately earning them their prized Gold-rarity Accomplishments.

As Major Quinn called up Beta Squad to receive the Platinum Ace Squad medal, Thea couldn’t help but notice the tension rippling through the group as they walked up to the stage. 

The squad’s Defensive Heavy, Masters, wore a stoic expression—devoid of any joy, just a silent acceptance of the recognition she had fought so hard for, but clearly expected to gain. 

Thea’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully. 

I suppose humility isn’t something that comes naturally to everyone…’

The room settled as Major Quinn’s voice rose with renewed energy, drawing attention back to the stage. “Now, we finally get to the final category of today’s awards. The one everyone has undoubtedly been waiting for… The Most Valuable Marine, aka, the MVM Awards!”

A wave of excitement swept through the hall—applause, cheers, and a palpable ripple of tension that electrified the room. 

Thea’s heart pounded as she straightened in her seat, anticipation thrumming through her veins. This was the kind of award she always craved—the irrefutable validation that she belonged, that she was the best. It was recognition that all her hard work had paid off, that every effort she had poured into each mission had not gone unnoticed. 

It wasn’t just an award; it was undeniable proof that she had earned her place and that someone out there—someone important—had seen her and acknowledged her worth.

“This is the award for the true Aces of this drive. The Marines who have gone above and beyond what the UHF demands, leaving their mark on the battlefield in ways that words and videos barely capture. The criteria are simple: Be the best. We evaluated everything you could imagine, from strategic decision-making and the effectiveness of your actions to the outcomes and ripples of your impact on the field—both among your fellow Marines and in the faces of your enemies. If your name is called for an MVM medal, know that you stand among the very pinnacle of this drive’s talent.”

Major Quinn’s gaze shifted to Alpha Squad, her sharp eyes landing on Thea, sending a shiver down her spine as their eyes met. 

The moment felt heavy, and Thea’s pulse quickened.

“One more thing to note,” Major Quinn continued, eyes glinting with intent as she turned to the entire room. “Alpha Squad is composed of the best recruits from this drive, those who excelled during the Cube Trial that led to your induction into the UHF Marines. But, as I stated when you first joined just over a month ago, this is not a permanent assignment. This award, the MVM, serves as the first true test of their standing.

“Unlike the other awards presented so far, which only grant points toward challenging an Alpha Squad member for their spot, the MVM Award is different. Any Marine who earns an MVM medal has the privilege to directly challenge any member of Alpha Squad for their position, bypassing all other requirements. Many of you have dreamt of this moment, sought a way to claim a spot in Alpha—this is your chance. Win an MVM medal, and you will get your shot.”

A palpable tension filled the hall, eyes zeroing in on Alpha Squad like spotlights. 

Thea felt a cold sweat run down her back, the heat of countless stares pressing on her like a physical weight. 

She forced herself to keep her focus on Major Quinn, fighting the growing panic within.

With a practised flick of her wrist, Major Quinn unveiled the emblem of the MVM Award. 

It was stark in its simplicity, a brooch with a bold “#1” cast in varying metals: Silver, Gold, Platinum. The medal’s significance made its simplistic design all the more striking, as it represented the most coveted prize in the room.

However,” Major Quinn added with a sly smile, silencing the rising murmurs, “if an Alpha Squad member earns an MVM Medal, they are exempt from being challenged in any way until the next Assessment in three months time, regardless of their standing.”

The noise in the hall surged, a wave of gasps and whispers spreading like wildfire. 

But Thea heard nothing beyond the echo of Major Quinn’s last sentence.

I have to get an MVM medal… I need to be safe,’ Thea thought, the pressure in her chest squeezing tighter as a mix of determination and desperation coursed through her.

The echoes of whispers and the sideways glares from her peers were reminders enough—she knew there was no shortage of Marines in that room who would jump at the chance to unseat her—to “unmask” her, to embarrass her. 

The hostile undercurrents she’d felt walking into the hall earlier had been a stark reminder of how fiercely competitive and, at times, bitterly hateful her fellow Recruits could be.

While Thea held confidence in her abilities, knowing she could outmatch many in a straight-up test of marksmanship or battlefield acumen, she was painfully aware that staying in Alpha Squad likely meant more than just proving herself on paper. 

She didn’t know how the promotion or demotion challenges worked to begin with—whether it was purely a matter of past performance, direct head-to-head competitions, or even physical combat. 

If it came down to close-quarters fights or roles beyond sniping, her chances might crumble fast. She was an exceptional sniper, but her close combat skills were unremarkable compared to the heavy hitters in the drive. Her medical knowledge was limited to the basics she’d learned through Kara, and while she could contribute to squad tactics, she lacked the leadership finesse of Corvus. 

The idea of having to take on roles she relied on her squadmates for—like Lucas’s steadfast defence, Isabella’s raw offensive power, or Desmond’s technical expertise—made her stomach knot.

There were bound to be more blind spots in her skillset that she wasn’t aware of. 

Blind spots that other Recruits would almost certainly be able to find, if they, themselves, excelled at them. 

Blind spots that they could exploit and cost her her spot in this new, strange and very odd family she had found…

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Comments

I'd never ban someone over something like this, that's crazy 😱 You're free to continue reading, Michael, and I appreciate your continued support. I'll admit that you are correct in that I didn't give you the same leeway I expect from you, in hindsight. I'll still stand by my initial assertion, however, that a re-read with a more focused lense on the character progression arcs of the characters would help to alleviate some of the feelings you are having about this part of the story. I fundamentally believe that there is enough information provided in the novel, as long as people are engaging with it in a way that isn't just "get me to the next action scene" (note: I'm not saying you do this, just that quite a few people do) , to see the growth and the foreshadowing of these progression arcs and thus, the culmination thereof in this epilogue, providing the context required to see the drama for what it really is (actual drama between people as a result of emotions), rather than feeling it serves no purpose. --- Flusspferd: 2. Just because something is better than screaming profanities doesn't make it good. When giving feedback, you should always keep in mind the fact that you have FAR less emotional energy invested in whatever you're commenting on than the people that created it. Claiming that something serves no purpose, whether nicely said (even with a "my opinion") or not, is not a proper way to give feedback as a result. Where is the difficulty in going in and saying that things feel too long winded? That they'd rather see less of the conversations/thoughts/award descriptions or whatever it is that you don't like. THAT would be proper, neutral but subjective feedback. By dismissing a part of the story as nothing more than "drama for the sake of drama", the reader is immediately putting themselves at odds with the author for no reason. It all comes down to the simple question: If it served no purpose, why the fuck did the author put it in then? By you saying that these parts serve no purpose, you're directly implying things in the subtext as well, whether you intend to or not. Two of those I'll explain here: The first is that you're implying the author is adding things to the novel just to pad the word count. And before anyone says I'm putting words in their mouth, THINK about what you are saying here. Your assertion that something serves no purpose, in other words, directly translates to "these parts are completely unnecessary" which leads to an immediate "why were they added". The only realistic interpretation here is that you're implying the author wants more words, for the sake of having more words. That, in itself, is a downright insane take to make, because we don't get paid by wordcount. There is no incentive for an author to sit there and crank out another 1k words extra over just releasing it the way it is. My chapters don't end at a word count, ever, they end at story beats. That's why some chapters are barely 4k while others are like 8k at times. Which leads me to the next part. The second implied subtext is that you, as the reader, either do not trust the author or have missed a fundamental part of the story you are reading. I generally try to err on the side of giving the benefit of the doubt, so I like to believe that people have simply missed something, rather than jumping straight to the conclusion that the unspoken contract between reader and author has been violated. If you have missed parts of the story, in this instance the less obvious character progression sprinkled in throughout the first 160 chapters of the novel, then I can understand why you are asserting that these parts serve no purpose. Because you're missing the context. That's why my recommendation was to go through and read it again, with a more careful eye for the character aspects of the novel rather than the action ones. Now if that isn't the case, then we are opening a whole different can of worms. If you actually were implying this second part (which you do by default if the first is untrue), then there's a bigger problem between the reader and Author. There's an unwritten contract between us, the moment you start to read a novel. Its a simple one, but extremely important, and goes as follows: I, as the author, will provide intellectual entertainment to the best of my ability, honouring the readers time and effort to read my work to the fullest. For the reader it is: I, as the reader, trust that the author is writing in good faith, for the purposes of providing entertainment. I will suspend my disbelief to a reasonable degreee for the parts that require it and engage with the written work in a way that honours the authors efforts. By implying that the author is adding things to simply pad the word count ("this serves no purpose whatsoever"), you are broadcasting that the contract has been breached for one reason or another. You're implying that you don't trust me as an author to write in good faith, at which point a lot of the construct of the reader<>author relationship falls apart. THAT is why this kind of phrasing is problematic. Because for me, as an author, there is nothing worse than losing the trust of the reader. After 800k+ words in the nocel, I expect a certain level of trust to exist between us. That you trust me to write my words for a reason. That I don't just add things for the sake of reaching arbitrary word counts. But the specific phrasing on this feedback implies that you don't, if the reason you wrote it, isn't stemming from a lack of understanding of WHY they exist (re-read recommendation). --- 5. "This could be achieved by cutting the chapter right after an award is introduced." That's literally how this chapter ended. IIRC I've only cut one or two chapters in a way where an actual reveal was on the cliff for this epilogue (Valiant Defender).

LunaWolve

Since this blew up so much, I feel the need to add one last comment before turning in my keyboard. 1. The phrase "drama for the purpose of drama" I use is taken out of context: Both in the sentence before that as well as the following sentence I write that it "seems" that way and that that is the way it "feels" to me. I make no assertion about how it was meant and make clear that that is my personal perception, or at least that was my intention. The same way Luna apparently perceived my comment as "straight derogatory", my perception of some parts of the story might differ from Luna's intention when writing them. Intent and reception of written text can clearly differ. I also say, quite clearly, that "They aren't my favorite bits and I could happily skip them, but hey, I'm not the author, and it's not my story." This was supposed to convey that I make no claim to know better than the author, but I guess that missed it's mark as well. 2. I thought I also made it very clear that my comment applies to some paragraphs, in some (epilogue) chapters. Luna's reply makes it seem as if my comment applies to all epilogue chapters, all introspection, all rumination. This is in no way supported by my words. 3. I don't like getting words put in my mouth or in this case, my keyboard. In no way did I say I "hate" any part of the story "so much". That might be Luna's interpretation, but not my words, and if that were the case, I would just stop reading instead of commenting. 4. I also don't like how Luna confidently, and multiple times, states what I did or didn't do based on their interpretation of my words. Apparently, I "simply did not actually spend the emotional and intellectual energy to understand it properly beforehand". Just because I did not come to the same conclusion about what Luna wrote as they wanted to convey, does not mean I didn't read it carefully or didn't spend "intellectual energy" as they so kindly put it. In conclusion, I am done with commenting here. I hope I'll be able to continue to enjoy reading the story here and not get banned over this, but whatever. I didn't mean for my comment to cause so much, or any, strife. I apologize for my poor choice of words, if not for the content, of my original comment. I didn't think I left this much space for misinterpretation, but you never learn out. Peace out.

Michael

First off, thank for the very detailed reply. I both like that you went into do much Details as well as the overall tone of it, which to me, is exactly how I like discussions to be. To the various points (I will try to keep them in order but am typing in the mobile web version, which makes checking the order of things a bit of a pain. 1. (hurt feelings / re-read): I might have misinterpreted things here. With the lack of vocal infliction and facial tells, the intended tone is sometimes hard to interpret for me (unless it’s straight derogatory or something…). To me, it seemed more along the lines of: „if you can‘t understand, go f****** inform yourself before you make dumb comments‘. From your reply I take it that this is by no means how it was intended, so I just retract my comment on this. 2. Michael‘s phrasing. I get that Someone being negative about your work is annoying and wanting to defend it. I also agree that I exaggerated about Michael‘s politeness, but „drama for the sake of drama“ is, from my perspective, a relatively nice way to say that it serves no purpose. This in and of itself is obviously annoying, you put thought and effort into crafting this story so someone dismissing it is hurtful. However, he is entitled to his opinion and free to give negative feedback (depending on the tone) and I feel like he explained his reasoning somewhat well instead of screaming profanities or spewing threats about dropping the story due to one arbitrary reason or another. 3. clarification about not wanting an accurate depiction of anxiety. I did not mean to imply that I generally don‘t want any medical condition accurately depicted. The truth of some existing conditions are harsh, but I don‘t feel the need to sugarcoat them in any way. If I can learn something by reading a fun novel, even better. In anxieties explicit case I just personally dislike the resulting style, due to the, under the previous point 3 mentioned repetitiveness. 4. show, don‘t tell. First, an apology. I am sorry for misusing the phrase, especially given that it is one that pisses you off (rightfully, see below). Second, a word of thanks. I am intellectually aware what „show, don‘t tell“ entails, but definitely have to admit that I misused it above. So thank you for both writing a thorough explanation / definition as well as pointing out my mistake / laziness/ attempt to seem wordier. I should engage my brain and generally be more precise in my speech and writing. Third, terrible phrasing or not, the intended point stands: the epilogue chapters feel longwinded to me, more on that below. 5. „condense the epilogue“ Again, I am typing on mobile, with the auto-correct set to a different language, so I apologise for the atrocious structure / random words. First up: wordcount. You are absolutely free to use as many words as you want. Personally, I would prefer if that applied to books as well, not just webnovels, but it is what it is. However, a lot of words don’t necessarily make something feel long-winded. I read „The wandering Inn“ which is way up there in terms of wordcount and average chapter length. It rarely feels repetitive or overly long. So it is not about wordcount. Secondly, and this is especially true for webnovels (or at least I feel like that is the case), chapter count / how chapters are cut, does matter a ton. The epilogue chapters kind of drag for me, because the tension feels very artificial (the dreaded cliffhanger). In the story, it is all one ceremony, multiple awards and a ton of character growth for the whole cast. Some new characters are also introduced in a creative way, I really enjoyed the „competitors“ POVs. But the way we as readers get it, the chapters seem to end right before a reveal. Which to me, in a low tension setting like a ceremony with all results already decided, is grating. I personally want anticipation, not tension in an epilogue (and also feel like most epilogues naturally lend themselves better to that). What I try to say is: I don‘t need tension in an epilogue and would even rather do without, anticipation of things to come is perfectly welcome though. This could be achieved by cutting the chapters after the next award is just introduced instead of right before the winner is announced. That being said, condense was indeed the word I was wanting to use. Meaning I don‘t really want you to cut any of the content, I like all of that good stuff. But there are ways of keeping things more concise that don’t require dropping content. As an example, slightly reducing the depiction of anxiety (or its repetitive nature), but keeping all conversations would keep all character growth, new characters and even the awards (though I personally don‘t really care for the ones none of the main cast get, but I know they were highly anticipated). Got to cut this short here, the rest of the family woke up, got to make breakfast.

Flusspferd

Considering that I announced that there's only 3-4 more Awards chapters and we're at Awards 6, it would be impressive if it DIDN'T go faster, no? 🤔

LunaWolve

No feelings were hurt on my end. It is, however, VERY annoying to read phrases such as "drama for the sake drama"; which is anything but "polite" or "well-phrased" whatsoever. That's a straight derogatory way of talking about somebody's writing, just because you, personally, do not agree (or how I interpreted Michael's words: Do not understand WHY something was written) with how something was written. "Drama for the sake drama" implies that there is no purpose behind the words that were written at all; that they were merely added to fill an arbitrary word count or somehow annoy people on purpose (?) for whatever forsaken reason that would make any sense at all. Additionally, there's no "going off" on commentors here. The very first sentence merely advises Michael to re-read the novel carefully, because they clearly missed some of the underlying character progression from essentially chapter 1 onwards, otherwise they would not have called this part of Thea's character progression "drama for the sake drama". The rest of my comment, while sarcastic in tone, is in no way "going off" on anybody. It merely explains how and why these parts are important and aren't "drama for the sake of drama", as Michael decided to put it. If somebody diminishes your work because they simply did not actually spend the emotional and intellectual energy to understand it properly beforehand, and you tell them to re-read and actually pay closer attention so that they don't miss out on some of the underlying themes, I don't see this as being "triggered". It's literally just solid advice to help them enjoy the novel more. --- 1. You're free to your opinion on not wanting to have anxiety be accurately represented. You immediately lose my attention the instant you say "show, don't tell", however. Readers generally do not understand what this phrase even means, and you, also, do not; as is evidenced by the fact that you used it here to describe a chapter that is pretty much exclusively showing. It is by far the ONE phrase that actually WILL get me pissed off and triggered, because it is CONSTANTLY miss-used by people not understanding what it even means; in a vain attempt to seem more sophisticated with their feedback than they really are. To give you a brief rundown of WHY you clearly don't understand what this term means: "Showing" INCLUDES characters thoughts, "Telling" does not. You are experiencing these chapters PRIMARILY through a combination fo these things: Actions, **words**, subtext, **thoughts**, **senses**, and **feelings**. I have marked the relevant ones with stars, for your convenience. "Telling" includes only the following things: Exposition, summarization, and description. Out of those, I don't even USE exposition. The amount of times I've used narrative exposition can be counted on two hands in the entire novel so far. Summarization, I merely use to drive forward the story through aspects that are irrelevant for our characters (skipping Silver/Gold/Plat awards and only giving the summary of what happened). And lastly, description: This one is important to differentiate from the previous "Showing" aspects **senses**, **thoughts** and **feelings**, in that it ONLY counts as "telling" if it's AUTHOR DESCRIPTION. If a CHARACTER thinks, feels or senses something and it is described in the story through their eyes (which it almost always is in the case of TAS), it is NOT telling, but showing. Because the Author is not giving an objective description of something (like objectively describing a character's look, for example, with no additional descriptors of feelings or senses added), but rather the CHARACTER is doing the describing. Example: "Thea nodded slowly, feeling an odd mix of relief and disappointment—both in herself for failing to keep up with Karania’s words once again, and also that she wasn’t going to get any closure on this for the foreseeable future." This is SHOWING; because it is directly describing the feeling of a character; not an objective author-bound description about something. The whole idea that TAS is somehow full of telling vs showing is so unfathomably annoying to me, as the author, because it is the complete OPPOSITE. People think TAS is long because I tell too much, but telling is the SHORTER of the two options. Showing, by the very nature of how it works, requires more words than telling. THAT'S WHY TAS IS SO LONG; because I show more than I really should. I SHOULD be telling more, not less; in order to keep the word count down; but I'm not. Because this isn't a book; it's a webnovel. I have the luxury to use as many words as I want to convey the exact story that I want to convey. I am not restricted by arbitrary limits of wordcount; having to resort to telling to keep it down. --- 2. The reason the epilogue is so long, is because it's fun. People wanted to see the awards in all their glory; not some condensed excel list of who won what. I use this time to introduce new PoVs and characters for Volume 2, as well as giving more context to the world as a whole from other people's perspective. Additionally, Thea is undergoing a major character progression arc in these chapters; which deserves as many, if not more, chapters as some random action scenes do. And it's not just Thea that's undergoing major progression here either; but it's clearly flying right over a lot of people's heads, despite my best attempts at making it drop-dead obvious that it's happening. Karania, Desmond and Thea are all having some major changes happening here. If you truly think that the Award chapters could have been "condensed down" to 3-4 chapters, you have also not been paying enough attention. Unless you wanted me to cut out the literal awards, that people have been waiting and begging for, for like 4 months, entirely? Give me a rundown of how you would have structured those 3-4 chapters you have in mind; while also keeping the introduction of new characters and PoVs for Volume 2, the Awards with at least *some* example recordings (to keep yourself from "telling" over "showing"), as well as writing the entire culmination for the major character progression arcs for the first Volume for Desmond (a middling-import side character), Karania (a MAJOR side character) and the literal MC of the entire novel. If you can present a good outline to me; I will consider re-writing these chapters and admit that you were right. Otherwise, I will say what I almost always end up having to say to readers: You don't actually understand what you're asking for. Rephrase your feedback to point out the perceived issue, not in some wannabe-sophisticated narrative terms, but the simplest way you can. Instead of trying to use something like "show, don't tell", say "I found these chapters lacking in tension" or "I would have liked more direct conversation between the characters". That will get your point across 1000% more accurately, because more often than not, by trying to use actual narrative terms, you're undermining your own feedback because you don't truly understand what the narrative term even means. Readers, much like users or gamers, are VERY good at one thing: Finding problems. The thing they aren't good at, however, is providing solutions or adequately describing said problems. The more basic, yet detailed, you can describe your issue, the better. --- 3. THIS is the perfect kind of feedback. It starts with a clear delineation that you're not trying to position something as objective fact, by saying "for me". You then go on to describe, in VERY simple, yet detailed, terms what your problem is: "the repetitive worry makes for a poor reading experience." THIS is the kind of feedback that is perfect for authors (and developers alike!), because it gives us the information that we need. That something doesn't FEEL right, without dumping a whole host of other subtext on us, or god forbid, straight up insulting us or our work. Much like Isabella taught the rest of the squad during the whole Caliburn incident: KISS (Keep It Simple, Stupid) applies. 🙏

LunaWolve

I will add my 5 cents to this, unprompted or not. First, the comment on comment style, replies and feedback culture. In my humble opinion, your comments are absolutely fine, Michael. They were phrased in one of the most polite ways imaginable and you made it clear that this is your personal opinion, which Luna is obviously free to ignore / disagree with. I get that comment sections can be rough, both on Patreon and elsewhere, especially for the authors. I have seen plenty of comments in which people completely lost it, civil tone and constructive feedback long forgotten. It Osmose than fair to be annoyed, maybe even enraged by these comments, but I feel like getting triggered by any comment that contains some criticism and subsequently going off at the commenter is neither justified nor exemplary behaviour. I hope, we can get some discussions going here without people like Michael feeling like they have to refrain from writing, again in my opinion, polite and well-phrased comments to avoid hurting your feelings, Luna. On to the second part of the comment: the content. I am unsure yet how I feel about the epilogue chapters. I agree that an epilogue isn‘t meant to be action packed and the character development as well as some of the advice from Corvus is stellar. The depiction of anxiety is also extremely well done, in all its repetitive glory. Writing it as a constant, ongoing and repetitive worrying about the same old topics is very accurate from what I understand of anxiety. That being said, I am personally not overly happy with the choice to write it like that for three main reasons: 1. this is a story, that is meant to be fun entertainment, not a medical textbook trying to give insights into anxiety by depicting the thought process from a first person POV, so some „show, don‘t tell“ still applies, which you really don‘t abide by in the epilogue, Luna. 2. while the slow pacing doesn‘t bother me, the resulting length of the epilogue seems off to me. Now I am not talking about some 21 chapter lunacy, you literally keep informing us how many chapters you are expecting in the epilogue. But even at the expected chapter number, the epilogue will take up a large chunk of the overall word count for Arc / book 1. I would argue it‘s a bit much as I don‘t really think the pacing of the epilogue should change compared to the rest of the book, just less action. If you had condensed the epilogue so far into 3 or 4 chapters, there still wouldn’t be any action, but the pacing would obviously be faster, which would Mathe the rest of the story better, in my opinion. 3. and this is even more of a personal opinion than the other parts, because it just concerns personal preferences and likes / dislikes: for me, no matter whether it’s accurate or not, the repetitive worry makes for a poor reading experience.

Flusspferd

Ok, I am sorry if I poked at a sore spot with that. There are no parts that I "hate so much", and I do appreciate the character growth. Every writer has their own style and not every reader perfectly meshes with that. To me, that's ok. I like the story a lot. I am paying to read it after all. And I am not saying that all of the epilogue is drama for the sake of drama, not at all. I am saying that some paragraphs feel like it, TO ME, not that they necessarily are. The things that make me feel that way are, for example, ending every chapter on a cliff. That's a choice, and it often creates suspense for the sake of it, when cutting chapters slightly differently would not do that. But sometimes, it's more the suspense of waiting for the second half of a half-finished sentence than an actually suspenseful moment. Describing every placement scene for multiple awards where none of the main characters feature can get repetitive. Going over an event for the 4th time from a different perspective can get repetitive. It doesn't necessarily mean that there is no value to it, but it is a choice to write it that way instead of conveying the character development in another way. I am not saying those parts are bad, or completely unnecessary, just that I don't like them as much as the rest of the story. As I said before, I really like the story, otherwise I wouldn't be a Patreon. I was just trying to comment on Knyko comment about the award ceremony taking 21 chapters. But no worries, I'll refrain from commenting in the future.

Michael

If you think these parts "drama for the sake of drama", you seriously need to re-read the novel and actually pay attention. These epilogue chapters, specfically the "drama" and the ruminations you hate so much, are quite literally some of the most important parts of this entire first book. This is a story about CHARACTERS, not about events. Character progression is a FUNDAMENTAL and highly important part of a character-based story; which this one is. It just so happens that our main character, is also the one doing all the ruminating. Almost like there's some fundamental character progression happening there...? 🤔

LunaWolve

There is slow pacing and then there is an epilogue taking up more than 10% of a book. Some of the things definitely move the plot forward, but a lot of the drama and self-doubt (regarding the awards) are getting repetitive or don't seem to have a purpose besides increasing the drama/tension, taking us from cliff to cliff. I don't mind if it's in service to the story, but at least some of it seems self-serving instead. Drama for the purpose of drama. It's well-written but still feels like filler. I could skip multiple paragraphs of drama and ruminations and lose nothing of the story. Not necessarily this chapter, but some of the other epilogue chapters. I have come to accept this as part of the author's style and as the price to pay between the juicy bits of the story, just like I accept 20-page landscape descriptions from Tolkien. They aren't my favorite bits and I could happily skip them, but hey, I'm not the author, and it's not my story.

Michael

Y'all are too kind ❤❤❤

LunaWolve

The System does not. The awards here are fully sponsored by the UHF; a way to get around the System restrictions of being unable to pay out Credits to Marines to push them. With an award ceremony, you get around some of the limitation, so you can give some extra Credits for those Marines you REALLY want to push.

LunaWolve

"Let Luna Cook!" masterfully said. Luna makes a great story. I can take long winded, I did read Asimov's Foundation books and Second Foundation makes this story seem like its moving rapidly. I also read God Emperor of Dune, another slow slog. The Silmarillion by Tolkien is rather slow in most of its stories too. Finally, the Wheel of Time series is much more of a slog than this story has ever been. That being said, all of those stories, including this one, are Amazing Stories and well worth the slog/wait/time it takes for them. Part of why I pay for TAS instead of Neon Dragons. It tickles my fancy just a little bit more!

SingularCurve

Yeah, it's definitely going to be rough. I kinda hope we go a bit faster for the rest of these.

denver boyer

TFTC All of you shut up and let Luna cook! Till now we have not been dissapointed once. Yes i also can not wait to read the next 100 chapters but as we say in germany: "Gut Ding will Weile haben." It means good things take a while to make. And at least Luna is masterfully keeping up the tension.

Redsennin94

Thanks for the chapter, it's a good one👍

Johannes Brockmann

So the Medal Awards are awarded by the UHF. Previously the System itself granted rewards based on the Points/Ranking, but does the System grant rewards for the UHF-based awards, too?

Kyfe

Yes, 3 Tiers, with 3 Medals for each (so 9 total across the entire Assessment). Challenges will only be able to be started once they actually get the information about HOW they work in the first place; aka. way past the ceremony is already over. MVM Awards includes EVERYONE; including leadership. The brass here is not judging by "impact", exclusively, but rather by "beyond expected performance". If you, as a Sergeant, simply do your job well, you won't show up here. You truly need to provide something BEYOND expected. MVM is different from highest score in that you could receive an MVM award for a particularly impressive series of events, even if your entire rest of the assessment was garbage. Highest score is simply "gained the most points by being consistently above average", so to speak. This could also mean that highest score does NOT get an MVM award, however. MVM is peak-time special, Highest score is consistent special. Highest score does not get an award in itself, but there will be a list at the end of the ceremony; for everyone's points and ranking.

LunaWolve

Ending of a book is definitely not intended to have a fast pace, so I don't really see an issue with it! 👌

LunaWolve

Sigh. Theas doubts and fears about the mvm etc is going to last till the end off the epilogue. She couldnt have gotten a higher position according to lumis. The system even acknowledged her as the number one for her tier and faction. You dont get the rewards she got with only being number 1 in the sovereign or recruits awards. You cant get the same award multiple times. This is going to get annoying because i would bet my favorite dish that thea aint getting her rewards till the entire assesment awards. And that is not going to be next chapter. Not at this speed. Its probably going to get a lot worse. I bet everybody in alpha squad will get their mvm except thea. And everybody will be looking at her thinking she doesn't deserve it till the last award off the entire ceremony. Putting the self doubt off thea front and center. Irritating. It seems that Thea completely forget that shes getting all her awards lumis promised during the ceremony. And those rewards are really valuable rewards.

Festus

Are there 3 Tiers of MVM awards, too? (implying that an individual can only receive 1 of them, or can an individual get all 3 for this particular award?): Sovereign Recruit, All Recruit, All Marines. It wouldn't make any sense for someone to be able to challenge Thea if she doesn't get a Sovereign Recruit MVM award to only get the All Marine MVM award later. Another question: Does the MVM award include the leadership, like the Staff Sergeants and any officers involved in the Assessment, or do they have their own separate categories? Would be kind of hard for a Private/Recruit to compete against the Commander of the entire successful Assessment as being just as important, lol (at least on an individual scale). Does the MVM awards have different criteria than simply having the highest score, and does having the highest score have a different award, or is that the MVM award?

Kyfe

So we looking at 21 chapters of award ceremony? So far weve had 6+ AT LEAST 1 for MVM, and then repeat for the two other tiers of awards. I dont mind terribly as there has been some plot development and so on, but i just feel like the pacing is a bit on the slow side right now(just my opinion ofc). Its hard to pinpoint exactly where i would speed it up, but yea jusst feels slow atm. I liked the chap tho, well done on Thea for confronting Kara!

Knyko

I've been in this room for three months. I might have to be carried out.

William Setzer

Yeah. As someone who doesn't always get the social stuff, I think Thea did a decent job of conveying her determination and concern. Yes it was awkward. No it wasn't too much. But all I have to say is, it still seems like there is something there. Something going on under the surface that is...I don't know....invidious maybe? Not sure.

Kaywye

Thea getting any award waiting room :)

asdfmeepman

AAAAAAAAH THE TENSION IS UNBEARABLE

CivilCoelacanth

Heavy talk and heavy thoughts! So how many award categories are there for the three ranks?

Avidyetboredreader

🥔P O T A T

LunaWolve

Thanks for the chapter!

TheCeaserSalad


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