More Book0 Previews - Too Much at Once Edition
Added 2022-12-30 10:09:36 +0000 UTCHey there, Hermit here.
After a lot of e
Comments
Thank you for that. I didn't consider that the girl would end up looking stupid, I'll have to change some details in that scene. I can also see why these chapters would be seen as slow. Although they combine a lot of content that comes later in the original (and will be cut), I'm planning to remove about a third of this before publication. I'm not sure why Corco introducing himself early is a problem, really. I don't think the claim alone prevents any part of the novel working, though I may be forgetting something.
2022-12-31 15:41:59 +0000 UTCIn my head, about 1,80/5 11... though it's never really mentioned.
2022-12-31 15:39:27 +0000 UTCI wonder what is corco height?
2022-12-31 11:38:35 +0000 UTCWell, this was very long. Anyway, I can see you decided to replace Hakon with Alienor, still maybe a bit weird that such a genius daughter of nobles would do stupid stuff like asking random people on the marketplace without buying. I get that you are using her as a way into upper society, but I already know there will be people who complain how long its taking. Also, Corcos introduction as a prince of far off land seems implausible, he didnt talk much about it before and it spread only during the auction. One last thing, found a typo: Although it was a laughable attempt atm industrial espionage, the fake master's ostentatious words and gestures made Corco pause.
Zdenek Havlik
2022-12-30 13:51:32 +0000 UTC
