EV Chapter 7:

Chapter 7:

I blinked. 

"As in the Loki?" I blurted out. 

"The very same." The man said, a smile breaking his slightly too-serious face, and his eyes went from the cold blue of a deep crack in a glacier to the warm summer sky. "I'm glad you've heard of me. Now, I expect most of what you know is all hogwash, and random superstitions passed down for thousands of years amongst mortals who can't remember what happened a decade ago.

"So, let me give you a little introduction. This is Valhalla. Valhalla is the hall of warriors of meatheads with no brains and people willing to punch each other to death for fun." The disdain in the god's words was clearly evident, with his sardonic smile twisting his lips. "I champion those of us who do not fit in here. Those who will take any opportunity to win, who would rather talk out our differences. And I believe, Miles, you fit right in."

My eyes widened slightly at this used car salesman pitch. Still, it got me excited a little bit until I thought I had no idea what I was being asked for, what I was getting myself into. He paused, watching my face for some reaction, and I realized I had simply frozen up during his speech. 

I found my mind had been wandering back to the fights when he had talked about killing. It was hard to overstate how much I agreed that I did not belong here. But I was cautious. Clearing my throat, I asked my first question. "So, how do you do that? Champion us, I mean." 

Already, I was including myself with the rest of the people he talked about, but it just fit too well for me to think of anything else. 

"Well," he said, "I can give you boons and other advantages that will help you get through the trials here besides brute strength. The other gods give boons too, but they're all boring stuff like extra strength in stats or weapon proficiencies. Things that you can get for yourself. I give you something different." 

"Okay, but what do you get out of it?" Not for one second did I believe that Loki was championing this cause for altruism. Even if he said that a lot of those legends about him were garbage and superstition. He had a certain reputation. And suppose Valhalla was about what the story said. In that case, I wasn't going to assume Loki was anything but a lying trickster who would steal my wallet if I wasn't looking. 

"Ah, smart, I see. Yes, everything has its price. But don't assume that the other gods just give away their boons for free. I, at least, am honest about what I ask. Thor might give you extra strength, but little does he tell you that the credit you get from your deeds goes to him." Loki didn't try to hide his disdain for his brother's methods. The legends might not be as off as he would like me to believe. 

"No, no. I will tell you exactly what you must do. I'll ask for simple tasks. Maybe a favor or an item I need retrieved. Nothing too complicated. And you can always say no. Every offer and contract I have will always be freely chosen without coercion. If you choose not to accept the offer, nothing will happen, and everything will continue on as if I had never made the offer. I will not hold it against you, and I may still offer you deals in the future."

"So I can say no, and nothing will happen to me?"

"Precisely, I will take no retaliation for a rejected contract. Of course, if you come to me and ask me for a favor. I also have the option to say no. Obviously, this is really a partnership. We all play by the same rules. I just have a bit more resources than you do." I couldn't help but be impressed by Loki's lawyer-speak. This reminded me of how I had signed so many employment contracts. 

Oh yeah, you can always say no to what we're offering you, but you just won't get hired, and then you'll starve. As if I had any real bargaining position, he'd already branded me with his mark. And from what I can tell, no other god would take me if honor and strength were what they were looking for. I didn't think I would impress anyone when measured by those standards, but I still had one question. 

"Does everyone receive a blessing like this?" I can't imagine that everyone catches a god's eye. Maybe it's just that I wanted to feel special, but truly, I couldn't see everyone getting this. I was sure that people would mention it, but I had never heard of it. 

"No, of course not. Well. Most people who reach a certain level do, but in the Lesser Hall, very few of you get any attention. I'm actually one of the few gods who recruits from there. Most gods or goddesses won't even look at you till you're at least in the Greater Hall. But certain qualities I'm looking for usually don't make it out very far without a little assistance. Still, with just the right amount of prompting, you can go oh so far." As we were talking, the waiter came and delivered some appetizers. 

The first small plate was placed in front of me with some little slices of toasted baguette with pear and some sort of meat baked onto it. I lifted them up and savored the delicate flavors as they danced across my tongue. Through the mouthful of goodness, I managed to get some words out. "So glad the chef knows how to use something besides salt."

Loki spluttered across the table, and I stared as he started chuckling in perhaps the only honest way I had ever seen him say since he had sat down. 

"Oh," he said, wiping a fake tear from his eye. "Yeah. You don't know how long I had nothing but salt on my meat for. Father really does live with simplicities." 

With that, the business talk was over, and the two of us just chatted. During a nice meal with steaks and salad and wine. Nothing in particular. Just about my past life. About history. He told some of the old stories in a different light. Many were about his "disagreements" with his brothers, as he called them. And they were just pranks, as he told them. Sure, they might have involved enemy races, but no one was ever harmed. As I sipped my drink. I found myself honestly enjoying his company. He was truly a great conversationalist. But I never once did I forget who he was.

***

After the waiter removed my dish of creme brulée, I leaned back in my chair, mirroring Loki's posture. I could tell from his expression that business would come up again. I tried to hide my discomfort by stretching my distended belly and avoiding an extremely unpleasantly large belch. Whatever magic kept me from feeling stuffed in the Lesser Hall while feasting did not apply here. It wasn't as bad as I thought. The overall feeling was unpleasant but incredibly satisfying after such a delicious meal. I knew I couldn't give away too much in front of Loki without appearing like an unsophisticated fool. 

"So, Miles, I think I'm ready to make my first offer."

I gestured for Loki to continue. Hearing him out couldn't hurt. I could tell that this time, it would be a little bit more involved than simply pouring out a horn on the floor under his name. But if he was going to have me do something, it couldn't be too extreme. Or else I'd just say no.

"I can tell you for free that the weapon in the challenge will change tomorrow. If you want, I could tell you what the new weapon will be. Would that interest you?" He said with a smile. That told me he knew that, of course, I would be interested. I would be crazy not to.

Otherwise, I would find myself holding a weapon I wasn't ready for. He was so certain of himself that I felt a little bad about bursting into laughter. 

"What?" he said. A slight bit of anger flashed across his relatively charming face. He reached up to his face to make sure he didn't have a bit of grease on his chin or something. In a demanding tone, he asked, "What's so funny?"

"Huh? As if knowing what the weapon would be would help me. I don't even know how the hell to fight. How the fuck would knowing what weapon help?" I said with a shrug. "I get, what? One day of practice. It's not like I just need to brush up on my 'mace skills.' Ha." I let out another short laugh. "No, I don't think that would interest me. Not for any price that you'd probably have to charge." 

My exasperation boiled over to anger at my hopeless situation when I considered how screwed I was. I was totally at the mercy of gods who decided to have some fun and turn everything on its head. I had just got out of the cold and started learning about the sword, and they were going to screw everything up.

"Don't be like that. You have no idea what I would ask of you." Loki said, his hands raised placatingly.

My anger faded. "Yeah, I suppose I don't, but it's not really that interesting to me. I'd be far more interested in something else that might help." 

Loki shrugged. "Well, if you want it to be like that, I can offer you a temporary boost to stats similar to what you received this last time. Of course. It's kind of boring." 

I nodded, trying not to show my eagerness too much. "For now, I think basic stats or proficiencies are probably the things I can use the most." 

It went without mentioning that temporary boosts weren't very helpful for me in the long run unless I could leverage them into more tangible gains. 

"Unless you have something else you could offer me," I threw in at the last minute, trying to get maybe something a little bit better. “Maybe a class?”

He smiled. "Don’t worry about classes yet. You’ll know when it’s time. Besides, there's so much more I can offer you. I can offer you most of the things that would only become available in Valhalla proper, of course. When you get there, you can get them at discounted prices from me. But they will be quite expensive if you want to get them now before you have access to them. But I can also get you a lot of things you shouldn't be able to know or have."

"Wait, so you're saying I can get all these temporary boosts and stuff once I get a little bit better at fighting, making the Hall Proper?" 

"Some you can, some you can't." Loki shrugged. "It depends on if you know the right people."

Then, what was the benefit of his brand? Just getting early access to them. I couldn't see if that would be enough. 

"Of course". Loki continued. "Of course, there's a lot of other things you can't get, but that was just an example. If you wanted to get a special weapon or something, I would probably be able to get you something for a price, even now. Though anything truly magical will need to wait a bit. It would just be too suspicious here." 

I frowned. "Well, a special weapon that maybe I could take into the challenge. That would probably be too expensive for my blood. I think some basic stat boosts might be good. Do you have anything permanent?"

Loki gave me a look out of the corner of his eye. "Permanent stats? Yes, I can, but you don't want them." 

I frowned, and seeing my confusion, he deigned to explain further. "Well, your training, your stats, and if you raise them artificially, that's something that would make it harder for you to raise them naturally. Of course, stats aren't really that important. Still, it's a trap that a lot of the other warriors fall into without thinking because the other gods offer them some basic stat increases, and they just take them. I thought you were smarter than that, Miles."

And I frowned, seeing his point. It was odd that it was Loki telling me this. Strength through hard work didn't seem to be his style. Or maybe it was more about getting as much power as possible through any means necessary. Yes, I would have to be careful around him, but also not rely too much on the myths of old Earth. "Okay. Maybe later, once I've hit diminishing returns." 

Loki gave me a wink. "Yeah, that's the spirit. So, a temporary boost. Now I can do that. But as to the price... I have someone who I need to look good. And I'm going to ask you to lose a fight."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said I want a temporary boost? Do I really need something from you right now?" I asked.

Loki's face frowned. "You really don't want anything right now? I didn't say that, but how much of a boost are we talking about? Let me give you... Plus two to all physical stats."

"That's what you gave me last time for the starter gift. But this time, I have to pay for it." I started to let indignation sli p into my tone.

Loki gave me a smarmy smile. "Just that. I think the starters are free."

"But yeah, you got to give me something better, though," I said, trying to get a bit more out of whatever I'd have to pay. "Besides, I don't think plus two would even get me out of the Lesser Hall."

"You're not ready to get out of Lesser Hall," Loki said. "You should hold off on that."

I looked at him exasperatedly, "Really? So then, why do I need your help if I can't get out yet?" 

"Not saying you can't get out, but you probably would come right back." He said in a placating tone.

 "Okay, so. So what? So if I can't get out of the Lesser Hall, why does it matter? What good are you to me?" With a challenging look, I shot his way.

Loki was visibly frustrated at that point. A dangerous glint in his eyes made me consider if it was time to cave soon. It might be the best deal, but I didn't want to piss him off too much. I was sure he could make my life hell if he really wanted to. "Well. I don't think you'll even make it to the Lesser Hall. With no ranks in the new weapon without some assistance." 

"Okay, but is plus two in my physical stats really going to make enough of a difference?" I decided to push just a little harder.

Loki sighed. "Great. Fine, fine. We can do plus five on all physical stats. And I’ll tell you the next weapon as a bonus." 

I smiled. Now that's more like it. "So you say I need to lose a fight."