still here

I want to apologise for slow uploads recently, I’ve been so bombarded with coursework, I’ve had to dedicate some sleepless nights to make sure I meet the deadline. I recorded some videos for patreon but haven’t had the time to edit them yet! I will make it up to you, promise 🤍 I really love making videos, I will spoil this platform with content in a very short time :)

Warning! Rant ahead, if you don’t want to read my inner monologue of complaints I wouldn’t go further haha…

I hope you guys have had a good week, honestly, mine hasn’t been the best. I got sent home from my part time job today after working only 3 hours because ‘they need to send people home as the restaurant isn’t busy’, I’ve already had my hours cut in half. Apparently the managers get a bonus or some kind of recognition for reducing labour costs. I just felt really defeated and undervalued, I work really hard because I love talking to customers. I met this wonderful Australian couple today, they told me about their ventures around the coast! The lady owns a beautiful shop in Terrigal. They were such wonderful people, I felt so happy for my abrupt ending shift. My coworkers/managers are so bossy and critical about everything, questioning and assuming the worst. I feel like they feel the need to be constantly critical or they feel like they’re not doing their job. ‘Why don’t you just leave!’ Good point, my hours were not bad beforehand, I only worked a couple days which made my assignments and uni easier to manage, but now I’m not sure anymore. Perhaps I should drop it and put all the extra time into ASMR content.

It’s not the only reason I felt down, my flatmates in this house share are handpicked from the evil depths of earth. I heard lots of complaints about the older lady in the room next to me, I dismissed them because I hadn’t met her myself. I literally just had a shower, clean and sparkling, and she walked in straight after me and went ‘Oh it stinks in here!’, I didn’t even use the toilet? So I suppose that’s self explanatory. My other flatmates love to grab the door handle whenever I’m showering and let out a deep sigh to ENSURE that me using the spaces I pay for is a nuisance for them. I choose to shower once I hear everyone else go, and they still find a way to make me feel like this. I don’t even cook anymore. It’s not long left but I just really wanted to vent because I feel so much pent up energy. 😅

Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a sensitive person, I claim to have a thick skin sometimes but it’s a lie. After a while, I do feel like things catch up to me, the feeling of not being able to do anything right.

These few paragraphs seemed a bit selfishly composed, I think I’m just a bit burnt out and have too much to do that it’s making me feel like a panicked mess.

I have so much to talk about! (Positive stuff, promise) I could make an extra ramble video or another post? Hehe let me know!

I’m so grateful for everyone subscribed here or on youtube, I don’t think you guys understand how much it helps me sometimes. ;’)