A Unicorn and an Alicorn Walk Into a Library Ch.19
Added 2023-10-19 01:49:27 +0000 UTCLong one. This needs to be cut up into smaller chapters, but I'll deal with that later. For now, enjoy!
Comments
To give some clarification on your skill as a writer. When I got to the scene with the musicians, "I" started swaying back and forth to a song I couldn't hear. Beautiful. As far as breaking it up goes, that's tough. If you want two chapters, then first part up till nighttime HR on the train, and then second would be wake up to end. That seems a lot to slam in though. I'd almost want to suggest 4-5 smaller chapters to prolong our torment. 1. Party: Introduces us to Staccato (great name) and sets up the coming arc. 2. Intro to Sirens: Displays Siren magic, gives background to issue, displays Lyra magic, and good ending to break on train. 3. Abduction: Wake up, provides impetus for coming battle, Vanhoover exploration, gathering of musicians, teleport out (cliffhangers are extra evil). 4. Battle: climactic battle and new magic acquisition. 5. Conclusion: Return to Vanhoover, party, report to princesses, and sets up future chapters. Might need to combine Battle into Abduction. It would be a little light on its own and the climax should be climactic. Conclusion makes a good stand-alone with the tone change and setting up future chapters. Regardless, it's a beautiful arc and I can't wait to reread it on post.
Eric Reitze
2023-10-19 18:10:49 +0000 UTCI resisted as long as I could. Which was long enough for a nap and to reread the last few chapters to get a reminder of when we are. Open docs. 48 pages. I started hyperventilating and giggling in equal measure. Here we go.
Eric Reitze
2023-10-19 16:06:02 +0000 UTC
