A Balcony Conversation (outdated-Jareth and Cole- Short story)

!Warning!
This story contains references to NSFW scenarios 

This is not a heavily visual or sensory story, rather this follows internal thoughts

    The night sky reflected in Jareth’s glass of water, bobbing and swaying. The stars within appeared to be twinkling at him, subtly shimmering in the blurred glossy water. His eyes focused on his own reflection within, a mirror of himself staring back. He studied his own eyes, the pale dullness of them showing a lack of connection to himself in the water.

    The man- the boy- staring back was foreign to Jareth. He did not know who that was, rather it was another person. A human with a human brain and human thoughts looking at him with a lost expression. He often felt as though he could have a conversation with that boy in the reflection, and the voice that came out of him would be completely different from his own. Different ideas and thoughts. That boy was a popstar, while Jareth was just Jareth.

    He looked to his lap where abandoned papers of sheet music laid, though his eyes could not focus enough to make out the notes. It was not him who wrote this, infact, he could not recall writing this at all. A lonesome cricket was chirping somewhere within the corner of the balcony left of Jareth. It sang gently and consistently. It overpowered the trickling water to the pond in the garden below the balcony.

    “Ah, there you are.” Cole's voice intruded.

    Jareth glanced back from the cushioned chair he was comfortably leaning back in, watching as Cole slipped through the opened window and onto the balcony. Much like Jareth, he did so with a lack of grace, his foot catching on the bottom of the window sill which made him stagger in his steps towards Jareth. Instead of the pressed and well fitted suit he often dawned, Cole now was in nothing more than a white T shirt and long trousers for bed. His hair was wet- as well as his mustache- and he held a cigarette between two fingers. Like most nights, Cole had come to check on Jareth before drifting to his own estate.

    “Evening.” Jareth greeted, his tone far softer and gentle.

    “It’s been some time since we’ve met here.” Cole muttered, “You’d best not fall asleep out here again.”

    “Right.”

    Cole took his place beside Jareth, settling into an identical chair that was turned just slightly to face Jareth. He crossed his legs and mindlessly lit another cigarette for his brother. While handing it off to Jareth he began his evening monologuing;

    “I haven't seen Ruby since we’ve arrived back in London, I’d sooner say she’s gone back to America. Good riddance, she ought to stay there anyhow. I would sat I minded her dropping the children on me like a basket of kittens, but I’d rather not have them tainted with food coloring and preservatives, hah.” He paused to take an inhale of his cigarette. “She's been speaking with the press.”

    “Oh.” Jareth muttered, though his glossed over eyes studied the stars. “Whatever about?”

    “Mm…” Cole hummed before clearing his throat. “I haven't a clue."

    Jareth did not know Cole’s wife very well. Despite the six or seven years of an unsuccessful marriage, they had seldom come in contact with one another. She and Cole would bicker- at times quarrel- at the studio, and Jareth would watch from an outside view. Of course, he thought very little of it, seeing as that was how marriages naturally behaved. What he found curious was the children that Cole and Ruby had obtained together. He pondered it some time ago, the idea of Cole now having two children circling in his head.

    His brother had two children. His brother had two children. A boy and a girl. Cole was married with two children.

    Really, it sounded like something Cole would do. To get married and have two children with a successful business. Jareth had not imagined marriage for his brother in their youth, yet it made logical sense for it to have happened. Cole had a successful job, got married, and had children. That was something Cole seemed like he would end up doing.

    Jareth could not marry like Cole had. Not now. He would never be a spouse or a father. Rather, he would always be Jareth. His children would be Jareth’s children, and his wife would be Jareth’s wife. It would be cruel to trap them into such a life.

   Jareth had been courted many times, though he never realized until Cole had informed him later. Actresses, models, and other celebrities had their attempts at him, all of which had been unnoticed by Jareth. Even so, he did not want to be partnered with someone tied to the industry as well.

    He could recall a time in which a well known model- her name may have been Patricia- had been excited to meet him. Cole had conducted an opportunity for her to make an appearance in a music video, hoping that she and Jareth would find attraction to one another. However, Jareth had watched as her expression faded from delight and awe to confusion during their first conversation. No, Jareth had not been the attractive, other worldly man she had witnessed on film and interviews. Rather, he was quite tame and unsociable.

    Jareth could not see himself finding love from another person regardless of their social status. If he had met a regular woman who fancied him, he would be just as reluctant to court her. Rather than spending a life with Jareth, “the charming and wise writer,” she would be disappointed to find nothing more than a dull man with no personality and a lack of social skills.

    Just a month ago, Jareth had the opportunity of sex. Never had he before, though it was never something he had really considered or sought after. Having sex, that is.

    A fan had slipped her way into his dressing room in Las Angeles an hour or so before the show. She was younger than Jareth, black straightened hair done in a bob cut. She had stripped in front of Jareth, perhaps expecting an inflated response from him. Yet, all she received was a less than intrigued stare. An alien gazing at something foreign to him, unaffected and still. Jareth had felt nothing in that moment despite a slight stir of anxiety in his chest. How long had she been waiting in his dressing room? Was she expecting him to do something?

    The young woman then gathered her clothes and fled, her face red and eyes teary with embarrassment. Jareth had wished in that moment- and even now- that he had indeed pounced on her to avoid the shame she had felt.

    Women were not the factor that didn't click. Jareth had wondered if he instead found attraction in men, but he felt the same foreign feeling when looking at another man’s body. Perhaps Jareth was attracted to something in between, something that he could not have. A thing with no gender, an alien much like himself. However, a genderless being did not interest him any more than a man or a woman did.

    Cole had sex. He had sex even now that he and Ruby were divorced. If Cole was having sex, Jareth probably should be as well. Cole always did the things he was supposed to be doing at his age, so Jareth was falling far behind.

    “What is that you’re drinking?” Cole asked, interrupting Jareth’s thoughts.

    “What?”

    “What is that?”

    “Water.”

    “Ah, I had wondered if you had taken up drinking alcohol hah.”

    “I think there's something wrong with me.”

    Cole fell silent. Jareth could sense that Cole had turned to look at him. He did not look back.

    “Whatever do you mean?” Cole questioned.

    “I ehm… I don't think I can…” Jareth took his usual amount of pauses, having to work to convey the abstract thoughts into the worded world, “I don't work right.”

    “Sure you do.” Cole rejected.

    “I can't love. Ehm- not like you do.”

   “No?”

    “I don't feel… attraction, I think.”

    Jareth looked to Cole, who stared back at him with serious eyes. Slight fear resided behind them, an unsure expression. He cleared his throat before speaking.

    “Are you?...” He questioned, trailing off without the bravery to say the word.

   “No.”

    Cole’s tense body softened, and his eyes returned forward. He said nothing, and Jareth had wondered if perhaps he had said something very wrong. Often, Cole always knew what to say and exactly how to say it. It was rare that silence lingered between the two of them.

    “I think there may be something wrong with me as well.” Cole finally said. “I don't work right either Jareth.”

    Jareth felt a considerably small hand place itself on his own, a rare act of affection from Cole. He could feel the warmth of Cole’s cigarette wavering over his skin. There came a slow inhale from Cole’s nose, then a sigh.

    “Right, enough of that,” Cole stated. He cleared his throat as he stood. “Good evening Jareth, I’ll send for you in the morning.”

    “Okay.” Jareth muttered, his eyes following Cole. “Night.”

    “Good night, Jareth.”