Status Update

tldr; I refunded all pledges since I can't finish promised rewards. I'm taking a break from patreon this month. My Patreon will focus on personal art only. I will continue making eroge/game/vn etc with more people (hopefully) and openly talk about it anywhere. 

I just finished refunding all processed pledges for November. If you did not receive your refund, please contact me asap. I'm just going to list the reasons so it's easier to read:

• I mismanaged my time; I put things off and let things pile up and now I simply can't realistically finish all the planned rewards in time unless I overwork myself (which I do not plan to do)
• I know some of you are okay with just giving me money. I really appreciate it but it really affects me mentally. When there's money on the line, it becomes an obligation to do something in return, at least that's how I feel about it. When I receive money, I must give something in return. It's now to a point that it's really stressing me out because of the reason above. I want out.
• I just want to take a break. Being honest I'm kinda tired with art at the moment. Maybe it's because I've been out and about reconnecting with people (I even agreed to be a godfather for a friend hooray) but I just want to do something else, at least for this month. Try out other stuff without feeling guilty about neglecting my patrons.
• Patreon will be suspended again. Right now it wants to do 2 things: eroge development and personal art. I'm going to drop eroge development so my patreon will only focus on personal art/WIP/Uncensored art (naturally tiers will be changed again)
• I still really want to finish my eroge demo and do more game/vn/eroge projects going forward. I want to be a part of something bigger than just painting one Wiz illustration to the next ¯ \_(ツ)_/¯  
• I originally planned to use my Patreon to fund the eroge/game development but I'm not making enough, plain and simple. So the next best thing is to seek out collaborators willing to help out for free (believe me, I know how bad that sounds)

There's also this "Patreon First" idea that I've been trying to abide with. I don't talk about the eroge on twitter or anywhere else because I want to talk about it here first. Sometimes I really want to share on twitter but that would undermine you guys since you're actually paying me to work on it. Perhaps I shouldn't have attached the eroge to my Patreon in the first place, but I think some of you guys are interested in my personal project and since you're paying me, I can't not report to you first. And I think that's a reasonable thing to expect when you're supporting an artist. But I think I neglected my twitter/etc because I'm so singularly focused on Patreon. Again, when there's money on the line, it becomes an obligation and it's this loop that's really eating at me.

But in all honestly I could have done better. I'm really not trying to pin the blame on my Patreon, there's a lot of factors and perhaps I could have worked harder/faster and put more variety of works, advertised more to attract more patrons to get more funding, maybe I should have thought harder on the logic of things, yadda yadda but I didn't so there's no use crying over it and I don't want to think about it anymore.

Anyway that's enough complaining and rambling. Sorry for being so incoherent. I'll be taking a break from patreon this month, unless I manage to finish the eroge demo. I know, I said I'm dropping eroge development but I want to finish the demo and be done with it, at the very least.